Burnout (NYPD Blue & Gold) (23 page)

He shook hands again with her brother and partner when they stood. “Stay as long as you need to, but stop by the station before you head out and I’ll get you copies of all the reports from last night.” Mike headed to the front door and opened it.

“Will do, Mike,” Gray said as he stood. “It’ll be good to catch up.”

Dom also stood, chiming in, “Later, Mike.”

Cassie had been watching the exchange and couldn’t take it anymore. The thought of Mike handing her off to her brother and partner so easily, let alone leaving without addressing anything that had just happened in his bed, was unbearable.

“Mike, wait.” Cassie put her mug on the table and met him at the open doorway. As she walked by them, Dom and Gray exchanged curious glances but politely edged away from the door to give her privacy.

She laid her hand on Mike’s arm, stopping him. The tension beneath her fingers was palpable. Her throat closed and not because of her injury. She couldn’t think what to say.

He stared out at the street, then faced her and slowly shook his head. “Nothing’s changed,” he said in a low voice meant only for her to hear. His face was tight, and tiny lines appeared at the corners of his mouth. “I can’t do it.” Then he was gone.

Just when she thought it wasn’t possible, her heart broke all over again. She watched him go, fighting the urge to run after him. But it was over, and she had to get past it. If she didn’t, she could never get through the next five minutes, let alone the next day or week, month or year.

With long, purposeful strides, Mike quickly covered the distance to the police cruiser and climbed in. The engine turned over, followed by the sound of gravel spitting from beneath the tires as he gunned the car down the street.

Cassie wrapped her arms around her belly. Her insides clenched and her lips trembled as she fought back a sob. She shut her eyes and sucked in quick, shallow breaths, willing the tears not to come. If they did, she feared they would never stop.

Mike was gone.

It’s really over.

She stood there a moment longer, staring at the road.
Empty.
Like her heart. Inside the house was her brother, who loved her, and a partner who cared deeply about her. Yet she’d never felt so alone. Finally, she clenched her fists and took a deep breath.

Cassie went back into the house and shut the door. The clicking of the lock seemed to echo in the hallway, a tribute to the finality of things.

Get a grip, Cass.

The last thing she wanted was to lose it in front of Gray and Dom.
Focus.
Like it or not, there were other pressing matters to be dealt with. Like figuring out who was really trying to kill her.

She turned to find Gray eyeing her with concern. “Everything good?” He walked toward her while Dom topped off their coffee.

Cassie debated lying, but opted against it. Of all people in the world besides Mike, Gray and Dom were probably the two she was closest with. “Honestly, no.” She fell onto the nearest sofa and let her head sink back into the soft cushion.

Gray sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m no shrink, and neither is lug head here.” He nodded to the other sofa where Dom had settled and sat watching her with an equally concerned look. “But even we can sense the tension between you and Mike.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh. “There was a time you’d kill any guy you caught in bed with your sister. Well, you’ll be happy to hear he’s never going to talk to me again.”

“Why would that make me happy?” Gray pulled away enough to look down at her. “You told me you were sick of dating cops, so I backed off. But if I could pick any guy for you—cop or otherwise—Mike Flannery would be at the top of the list. He’s aces. Solid guy, solid cop.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over.” If it weren’t for the numbness sinking in, she would have laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. After all this time, she’d fallen in love with a man her brother
and
partner heartily approved of—and been rejected.

“Over?” There was no mistaking the confusion in Gray’s tone. “When we busted in on you guys, it sure as hell didn’t look like it was over. Men may not be sappy like women, but I can tell when another guy’s got it bad, and from the look on Mike’s face when he left, he’s got it bad for my baby sister.”

“Amen, brother.” Dom leaned on his forearms and nodded.

“No, I mean it’s over, as in absolutely no going back.” Cassie shook her head. “When I told him I was an undercover cop, you should have seen the look on his face. It was—horrible. When I told him I loved him, he accused me of lying and said it was over.”

Dom balled his hands. “Then what the fuck was he doing in bed with you?” His voice rose. “Partner, if that sonofabitch used you, I’ll—”

“Ah, shit.” Gray stiffened as if he’d been shot.

“What?” Dom asked.

Gray blew out a loud breath. “Mike and I lost touch after graduating from the academy and getting assigned to different precincts on opposite sides of town. Like Dom said, his accomplishments became legendary. They still use his tactics to train recruits at the academy.” Her brother frowned. “But about six years ago, Mike was hurt bad, then quit the NYPD and disappeared. Rumor had it he took a job as a cop somewhere else. Until today I never knew where.” He faced Cassie, and she worried at his serious look. “But I do know why he left. Why he
really
left.”

“Mike told me about getting hurt on a domestic call and that two people died that day.” Cassie frowned. “He still blames himself for what happened, but I don’t understand what that has to do with me.”

Gray shook his head. “It has nothing to do with you. It’s what happened
before
the domestic that has relevance. That same morning, Mike got called into the captain’s office. IA was waiting for him. Turned out another shift supervisor made a bullshit allegation that Mike was on the take. Cass…” Gray put his hand on her arm. “An IA cop worked Mike undercover for six months. It was a female detective, and she used every dirty trick in the book to pin charges on him. She used him good, went above and beyond the call of duty and slept with him. That bitch was so hot to nail a highly decorated cop, and Mike’s got more medals than any cop I know.”

“Oh, no.” She clasped Gray’s hand, unable to believe this was happening. “He thinks I did the same thing to him. I lied about who I was, slept with him, then told him I loved him.”

As wonderful as their recentl love-making had been, she’d sensed anguish radiating from Mike. Now she understood why. He’d been in pain—and not just from the wound on his chest. He thought she was lying to him and using him the same way the IA cop had done. He had no way of knowing her love for him was as real as it could possibly get. But love wasn’t something you could force on another person. They had to want it.

“It’s not your fault.” Dom sat next to her on the sofa. “You did what you had to do. You’re a good cop. The best undercover I’ve ever worked with. If instinct told you to keep your identity a secret until last night, then I’m sure there was a reason.”

“Yeah, there’s a reason.” She looked from her partner to her brother. “I don’t want to be a cop anymore.”

“What?” The shock on Gray’s face couldn’t have been plainer.

“You heard me,” she said with conviction. “I’m done. As soon as this case is over, I’m packing in my gun and trading it for a spatula. I had hoped to settle here, but now…”

She wanted to laugh at the blank expression on Dom’s handsome face. He looked as if he’d lost his best friend. She grabbed his gorilla-sized hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry, partner. I’m sure one of those belching, farting guys you mentioned would be more than happy to team up with you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” The disappointment in his tone was endearing and made Cassie smile through her misery.

She turned to Gray who stared at her, his lips pursed. “You sure about this, sis?”

Cassie nodded. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

“What will you do?” her brother asked. “Where will you go?”

“I want to keep cooking, but I have no idea where. Anywhere but here.”

Gray smiled, but Cassie could see it was forced to make her feel better. “Mike’s an idiot if he lets you walk away.”

“Want me to knock some sense into him?” Dom pounded his fist into his other hand. “Legend or not, I’ll beat the shit out of him if you want me to. Any guy who makes my partner cry is an asshole.”

Cassie laughed as she leaned over to hug Dom around his broad shoulders. But inside she really did want to cry.

“I have to forget him.”

Or die trying.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Cassie waited for Dom and Gray inside one of the Hopewell Springs Police Department’s vacant offices, albeit reluctantly. The last thing she wanted was to run into Mike, but her brother and partner had insisted on meeting with him to get an update and pick up any reports relating to the shooting and the explosion, and they didn’t want to let her out of their sight. Immediately after the meeting, they’d drag her to a safe house God knew where.

The morning’s edition of the
Hopewell Springs Gazette
sitting in Cassie’s lap bore two stories, one about the explosion at Effinger Park, the other regarding a botched home invasion—at Cassie’s house. At least that was the story given to the reporter, as per Mike’s orders. Among the
Gazette
’s photos was one of the coroner removing the body of an unidentified man the chief of police allegedly shot and killed.

Cassie watched the minute hand on the wall clock creep along at a snail’s pace. It was nearly five in the evening. The Nest would be closing any minute now, the staff cleaning up and prepping for the next day. At that thought, a lump formed in the back of Cassie’s throat. The Nest was where she should be.

At Mike’s direction, Jimmy had given Rose a cryptic explanation as to the story in the paper and that, due to the ensuing stress and shock, Cassie would be taking a leave of absence from the Nest. Rose would be up a creek at having no head chef, but at least Chuck had returned earlier than expected. Turned out his father wasn’t as badly hurt as originally thought.

Still, Cassie owed Rose an explanation, and to give that explanation over the phone didn’t sit right. Rose was not only her employer but a close friend.

Cassie glanced again at the clock. The Nest was close enough to walk to, and she could make it back before Dom and Gray knew she’d ever left. They’d be pissed, but she’d risk it. She was done lying to those she cared about.

Quietly, she slipped out of the office and headed to the lobby. Mike’s dispatcher, Maddy, was tied up at the front desk taking calls related to the shooting and explosion and didn’t notice her escape.

Within minutes, Cassie walked in the front door of the Nest.

From somewhere in the kitchen, glasses clinked. The lingering aromas of the daily specials teased Cassie’s nose. Creamy pasta primavera and raspberry streusel pie. She’d know the scents of her own recipes anywhere.

“Oh, honey!” Rose came rushing out of the kitchen. “Are you all right? We couldn’t believe what happened at your house last night. Jimmy said you were fine and staying with Mike, but that I shouldn’t call. I’ve been worried sick about you.”

“I’m fine. Really,” she said as she accepted Rose’s warm hug.

Rose pulled away, then her mouth dropped. “What in the world happened to your eyes, and your jaw? And is that scarf covering a bruise?”

“It’s nothing.” Cassie touched her fingers to the lavender silk scarf she’d tied around her neck. Apparently it didn’t cover enough of the rope mark that was turning more purple by the hour. Colorwise, at least it matched nicely with her yellow top. Purple and yellow, just like New York State’s official colors. “I just had…a rough night.”

“The dead man in the paper…” Rose grabbed a copy of the
Gazette
off the front counter. “He hurt you. The bastard.”

Cassie glanced around the dining room, relieved to see there were no more customers. The only sounds in the restaurant came from Sue, Chuck, and Danny as they cleaned up the kitchen. More than likely, Rose had given Ginny time off to be with Leo.

“I can’t stay long.” She cleared her throat, preparing for Rose’s reaction at what she was about to say next. “My brother and partner are waiting for me.”

“What do you mean, your partner?” Rose narrowed her eyes. “And are you getting a cold? You sound terrible.”

The ache behind Cassie’s forehead rivaled her sore throat, but there was no sense putting this off any longer. “Rose, we need to talk, and everyone might as well hear this.”

Cassie led the way into the kitchen. Immediately, she was inundated with questions from Chuck and Sue concerning her well-being and the dead body taken from her house. Only Danny remained silent, but he stopped sweeping the floor to listen.

“I’m fine, everyone.” Cassie held up her hands for silence. “But I have to say something, and you’ll probably hate me for it.” Confessing to a priest had never made her feel as nervous as she was at this very moment.

“Honey,” Rose’s voice softened, “the only thing that matters to us is that you’re really okay.”

“Hear me out first. You might think otherwise.”

Here goes.

“The truth is, when I showed up in town I already had a job. I still do. I’m a New York City police detective, and I came here to hide out because a professional assassin is trying to kill me.” She paused to let her words sink in, but all she got were blank stares. “The blast that hurt Leo and Ginny last night was meant for me. When that didn’t work, he attacked me at my house.”

Cassie untied the silk scarf and slid it from her neck. “If Mike hadn’t killed the guy, he would have succeeded.”

“Oh my God,” Rose said as she put her hand to her mouth.

Sue gasped.

“Damn.” Chuck’s eyes went wide.

Danny pointed to Cassie’s neck. “The dead guy did that?”

Sue took a step closer and stared at Cassie’s throat. “That looks like it hurts.”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Leo and Ginny and Mike getting hurt
was
my fault.”

“Doesn’t matter?” Rose squeezed Cassie’s upper arms. “Someone tried to kill you. Of course it matters.
You
matter. To me, to Sue, Chuck, and Danny, and everyone else in town. Don’t
ever
think otherwise.”

Sue kissed Cassie on her cheek. “We love you like family. You’re part of our little community now.”

“No, I’m not.” She shook her head. “I’m a cop, and I lied to you. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know, and I should have told you sooner. More than anything else, I’m sorry for what happened to Leo, and I don’t blame you if you can’t forgive me. I can’t forgive myself.”

“You were doing your job,” Rose said firmly. “I’m sure you had good reasons for not telling us who you are. We don’t hold that against you. And Leo’s going to be fine.”

Sue dropped her plump arm around Cassie’s shoulder. “Whether you’re a police detective or a chef, you’re still one of us.”

Cassie swallowed the lump in her throat, touched beyond words at their unexpected acceptance. “You’re going to make me cry.” Both women hugged her fiercely. “You’re the first real friends I’ve ever had who weren’t cops.”

Chuck grunted. “Is Cassie even your real name?”

She nodded. “It’s Cassie Yates.”

“You got a gun?” Danny asked.

Cassie chuckled. “Yeah, Danny. I got a gun.” She patted the handbag slung over her shoulder.

“You’re really a cop?” Danny grinned. “That’s
so
hot.”

Rose pursed her claret-red lips. “I always knew there was more to you than just a pretty face and the best cuisine this side of the Adirondacks, but please don’t tell me you’re about to go back to chasing bad guys. With Leo still recovering, I need you here. And soon I’m going to need you to be head chef at my hoighty-toighty new place outside of town. Did I tell you I finally bought that vacated restaurant property I’ve had my eye on for years? The one I dreamed about making into a stylish high-end eatery?”

“I can’t stay. Every minute I’m here puts you all in danger, and that’s something I can’t live with.” Rose opened her mouth to object, but Cassie held up her hand. “I’m only here to say good-bye.”

“I can’t believe this,” Rose said. “You’re actually leaving? Does Mike know?”

Cassie sighed sadly. “He knows.”

“Honey.” Sue gave her a sympathetic look. “You have the most gorgeous man in the world who’s so obviously in love with you. You can’t leave.”

“I have to.” Cassie fought back the unexpected tears. She really would miss her newfound friends.

“But why?” Rose tilted her head. “I thought you said Mike killed the hit man?”

“He did, but the guy who ordered the hit will just find another one. Being around me may not be the safest thing.” At least until they figured out who really financed the hit. “I need to get back to the police station before my jailers realize I’m gone.”

“Maybe when this is all over you can come back,” Chuck said hopefully.

Cassie smiled. “Maybe someday,” she lied. She didn’t have the stomach to say it was over between her and Mike and that was the real reason she could never consider coming back.

“Good-bye everyone,” Cassie said as she turned to leave.

Three hesitant, smiling faces stared back at her.

“See ya, Cass.” Danny waved, but his young face was somber in a way she’d never seen before. As if he, more than anyone else, understood she was never returning.

“Bye, Danny.” Cassie shoved down the rising wave of regret. She would forever relish the days she’d spent as head chef at the Nest.

When Rose began to follow her, she nearly lost it and burst into tears. “Please don’t. I hate long good-byes.” She fully expected Rose to object. When she didn’t, it made it even harder to go.

With a deep inhale, she left the kitchen and headed to the front door, pausing by the register to admire Joey’s newspaper doodling for the last time. Yesterday’s
Gazette
had a photo of senatorial candidate Joshua Mosely, now sporting a blue crayon beard.

God, how she’d miss everyone in town, including Joey and his artistic renditions of everything and everyone that made the front page of the
Hopewell Springs Gazette
. Sighing, she tucked the newspaper under her arm, taking it with her for nostalgic reasons.

She walked to the front door and, out of habit, flipped the
closed
sign to face the street. It reminded her of the one good thing that had come from all of this.

La Femme had permanently closed its doors.

As Cassie shut the door behind her, a vivid image flashed before her eyes, one from the night of the takedown at La Femme.

The bearded man she’d literally slammed into moments before the NYPD raided the bar.

Her eyes widened. “No! No way.”