Burn Out (24 page)

“You didn’t have
to be so…” She struggled as though she was searching for the right word.
“Obtuse.”

He laughed,
covering his mouth with his hand when she shot him a scathing look. “Okay,
fine. I’m sorry for bein’ so… obtuse.” He pinched his lips together to keep
from laughing again. “Are we good now?”

“No,” she said,
looking like a petulant child. “You could have given me a little more warning
if you wanted me to attend this party with you.”

“It’s not a party.
It’s just a little family dinner.”

She looked at the
dozens of cars lining the massive driveway. “Yeah, it sure looks that way.”

“Come on,” he
said, reaching for her hand. “You know everyone here. It’s no big deal.”

“It’s a big deal
to me,” she said, withdrawing from his touch. “You used to do this all the
time.”

He sensed they
were finally getting to the heart of the matter. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“You’d call me at
the last minute and tell me I needed to be ready in an hour. You had to attend
some party and you just expected me to drop everything and go with you.” Raking
her hand through her hair, she said, “I have a business to run, Evan. I have a
life that doesn’t revolve around you anymore.”

Ouch.
“Fine, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a little
more notice, okay?”

“No, it’s not
okay.” She closed her eyes and tipped her head back on the leather headrest. “I
hated that life, being paraded around from one event to the other, smiling and
making small talk with people I didn’t know or even care to know.”

“I had no idea
being with me was such an inconvenience,” he said, his temper rising to match
her foul mood. “You should have said somethin’.”

“Don’t do that,”
she said, opening her eyes and rolling her head to face him. “Don’t make it
sound like I didn’t want to be with you. I did. That was the problem. I never
got to be with you, just you.”

“I don’t know what
you want from me,” he said, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m bendin’ over
backwards tryin’ to accommodate you-”

“That’s the
problem,” she said, reaching for the door handle. “You’re doing all this
because you think it’s what I want, not because it’s what you want.”

Muttering a curse,
Evan reached for the door handle. He had no choice but to follow her when she
rounded his vehicle and ran up the steps.

His mother greeted
them, pulling Erika into her arms with an excited squeal. “I’m so glad you
came,” Marisa said, squeezing Erika before holding her at arm’s length.

“Thanks for having
me.” Erika held out the gift she’d insisted on stopping for: a bottle of Luc’s
favorite scotch and a dozen of the cigars he was only allowed to smoke outside.
“Where’s the birthday boy?”

Marisa laughed as
she threaded her arm through Erika’s. “He’s mingling. Come. He’ll be so happy
to see you.”

Evan raised his
hand at their retreating figures. “Nice to see you too, Ma. Don’t worry, I’ll
get my coat. A drink? Sure, I’d love one,” he shouted across the foyer.

Marisa turned and
stuck her tongue out at him over her shoulder.

Their long-time
housekeeper, Shirley, approached. Patting him on the back, she smiled. “I’ll
take your coat, my boy.”

“Thanks, Shirl,”
he said, bending to kiss her wrinkled cheek. “You always were the one to look
after me. That’s why I like you best.”

She laughed as she
hung his coat up in the closet. “I see Erika is back.” Beaming, she clasped her
hands under his chin. “I couldn’t be happier for you two.”

“Thanks.” Shirley
had always been like a member of their family, so he knew he could tell her
anything. “I’m still not sure she trusts me, though.”

Slipping an arm
around Evan’s waist, she led him away from the party toward her domain: the
kitchen. “You need to give her some time, honey. She has every reason to be a
little gun-shy after what happened last time.”

“I know,” he said,
sighing. He sat down at the breakfast bar as Shirley took a tray of puffed
pastries out of the oven. “But how the hell do I erase the past?”

“You can’t,” she
said, smiling. “Every fight you ever had, every lousy thing you ever did to
hurt her is right up here,” she said, tapping her finger against her head. “We
women never forget.”

“Great,” Evan
said, rolling his eyes. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

She laughed as she
offered him a platter of appetizers and a cocktail napkin. “That doesn’t mean
you won’t make new memories. She’ll learn to trust you again, in time, and
you’ll form a new relationship. The past will be just that: the past.” She
slipped the glasses hanging on a chain around her neck in place as she adjusted
the setting on the stove to add a fresh tray of appetizers.

A young uniformed
server walked in to the room. She was young and pretty with a blonde ponytail
and bright green eyes. “Oh, excuse me,” she said, blushing when her eyes landed
on Evan. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“That’s okay,”
Shirley said, handing her a platter. When the young girl hesitated to leave,
Shirley said, “Go on, there’s more where that came from.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she
muttered, rushing away.

Shirley rolled her
eyes. “You and your brother always attracted girls like flies to-”

“Uh uh,” Evan
said, holding his hand up as he chuckled. “My virgin ears.”

“Oh please,” she
said, swatting him with her tea towel as her brown eyes twinkled with
amusement. “Now, where were we?” she asked, propping a hand on her broad hip.
“That’s right, I was giving you advice on how to fix this mess with Erika.”

“Tell me, oh wise
one,” Evan said, popping a mini spinach and cheese tart into his mouth. “How am
I gonna get the girl?”

“Time, patience,
understanding…”

Evan groaned. “You
know those aren’t my strong suits.” He grinned. “I was thinkin’ diamonds, furs,
and a sports car. That should work too, right?”

“Get out of here,”
she said, pointing to the door. “If you’re not going to take me seriously, I
have work to do.”

He slid off the
stool and bent to kiss her cheek. “You know I love you, Shirl.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she
said, waving her hand in the air. “Now get out there and mingle before your
father comes in here and gives us both hell.”

***

Unable to stand the
tension between them another second, Evan cornered Erika by the bar. “Havin’
fun?” he asked. He’d seen her talking and laughing all evening. The only person
she seemed to be making a concerted effort to avoid was him.

“Sure, you know I
always have a great time with your family.”

She’d always fit
in seamlessly, confirming Evan’s belief she was meant to be a part of his life.
“How ‘bout me?” he asked. “You still enjoy yourself with me?” He hated that he
needed the reassurance, but given her attitude the last few hours, he had no
idea where they stood.

“You know I do,”
she said, looking at him over the rim of her wine glass as she brought it to
her lips. “That’s never been the problem for us.”

“Then what the
hell is the problem?” he asked, raking his hand through his hair in
frustration. “’Cause I really thought we were on the right track, but tonight,
it feels like we’re right back where we started. I hate this.”

“You think this is
what I want?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears as she turned her back to
the crowd. Taking a deep breath, she said, “This is exactly what I was afraid
of. I didn’t ever want to feel this way again.” She pressed her palm to her
flat stomach. “I have this…”

“What?” he asked,
bringing his hand to her face. “You know you can tell me anything. What the
hell happened to make you feel this way? I thought we were in a good place this
morning.”

She looked at him
closely, causing his stomach to lurch.

“Were we, or is
that just what you wanted me to believe?”

“I don’t know what
you’re talkin’ about.”

He was getting the
impression she may have talked to someone in the know… Ryan, Dominic…?
“Whatever it is, you need to tell me so I can try to make this right.”

He could tell she
was getting emotional. To save her the embarrassment of breaking down in front
of their friends and his family, he set her wine glass down on the bar, took
her hand, and led her into his father’s study. Closing the door, he brought her
into the circle of his arms. “Okay, now you need to tell me what happened to
make you start doubtin’ us again, sweetheart.”

A tear slid down
her cheek as she tipped her head back to look at him. “I love you so much. I’ve
always loved you, but I can’t go back to the way things used to be, no matter
how much I want this to work.”

“I’m not askin’
you to do that,” he said, brushing away her tears with his fingertips. “I would
never hurt you like that again.”

“I know you
wouldn’t do it intentionally,” she said, lowering her head. “But neither of us
can say for sure it won’t happen.”

“If you’re askin’
for an oath written in blood, I’m afraid I can’t give you that,” he said,
trying to lighten the mood. When it didn’t produce the smile he’d hoped for, he
slid a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. “There’s nothing I
wouldn’t do for you.” His actions the past weeks had proven that, but he didn’t
think laying it all out there now would help his case. Maybe later, when their
relationship was more stable, she would appreciate the lengths he’d gone to
just to earn another chance with her, but today clearly wasn’t the right time
to take that risk.

She slipped her
arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. “I know that, but I’m
scared, Ev.”

“What are you
afraid of? Nothin’ can hurt us. We’ve been to hell and back the past couple of
years and we’re still standin’… together. Doesn’t that prove that nothin’ can
change the way we feel about each other?” In his mind it did, but she clearly
wasn’t convinced.

“I knew you were
driven and ambitious when I met you. I loved that about you.” She stepped out
of his arms, sighing as she started pacing the length of the room. “But when
you took over Titan, you became a different person. It’s like you were obsessed
with success. You were determined to be the biggest and best, and you didn’t
care what it cost.”

“That’s not true,”
he said, shoving his hands in his pockets when it became obvious she needed
space to work through her confusion. “I was never willin’ to sacrifice what we
had for that company. I know you thought I was and it may have seemed that way,
but that was never a price I was willin’ to pay, baby. You gotta believe that.”
If he couldn’t convince her, he knew their days were numbered.

“You can’t change
who you are,” she said, looking utterly miserable. “You’re a perfectionist. In
your mind, no one can do what you do as well as you can.”

He couldn’t deny
that he took pride in a job well done and he loved his career, but it wasn’t
enough to fulfill anymore. “I can’t just walk away from Titan. That’s not an
option.” He wouldn’t do some things, not even for her. He had a vision for that
company and he knew getting there would be his life’s work.

“Let me ask you
something,” she said, pausing mid-step to look at him. “If you and I had no
chance of reconciling, what would your life look like? Where would you be right
now? I mean, would you still be in the condo? Would you be working right now
instead of here with me?”

The moment of
truth.
“I told you on that
beach in the Bahamas that I was ready to make some changes.”

“Yeah,” she said,
tipping her head. “You said you were ready to settle down and have a family,
but were you just telling me what you thought I wanted to hear?”

Evan couldn’t look
her in the eye and lie to her, even if the truth cost him everything. “Maybe.”
When she tried to walk past him without a word, he reached out to grab her arm.
“Don’t walk out on me again. Please.”

“What do you
expect me to do?” she cried. “This has all been an act for my benefit, hasn’t
it? You don’t want any of it, the house, the dog, the sane work schedule… you
did all of that just to lure me back in and then what, Evan?” she asked,
shaking him off. “You’d leave me in that big empty house every night with just
the dogs to keep me company?”

“No,” he said,
desperate to make her understand. “That was never my intention. You have to
believe me. I do want to change.”

“But can you?”

“I think so.” He
couldn’t deny things were ramping up at work again and new projects were
pulling him deeper into the fold than he wanted to go, but he wanted to believe
he could maintain a healthy balance for her sake.

“You think so?”
She took a step back. “I can’t pin my future on half-truths and empty promises
anymore, Evan. I’m sorry.”

Sensing the
tension, Ryan and Brianna offered Erika a ride home, which she gratefully
accepted after a brief good-bye to Evan and his disillusioned parents. Tucked
in the cocoon of darkness in the backseat of Ryan’s car, she watched the
manicured lawns and stately mansions disappear as she tried to contain her
emotions.