Burn Out (19 page)

“This year gave me
a lot of time to think about what’s important. Now I love the commute to the
office. It gives me a chance to think about things besides work.” He sat down
on the bed beside her and grabbed a small stem of grapes from the tray.
“Besides, Skip has room to run out here, which is important, right?”

“I love that
you’re making him a priority.” She only hoped it wasn’t solely for her benefit.
If things didn’t work out between them, Evan still had to care for the dog he’d
rescued, and she wanted to believe he would give Skipper the best possible
life, with or without her around.

He popped a grape
into his mouth and reached for one of the wine glasses. “I’m not gonna lie, I
was lonely as hell before I got Skip. That’s part of the reason I decided to
adopt a dog. I needed someone to greet me when I walked through the door,
someone who would give a damn whether I stayed at the office all hours. He
gives me a reason to come home, to go outside and get some fresh air…” He
smiled when she looked up at him. “He reminds me to slow down and take time out
just to have a little fun once in a while. I really needed that.”

“I have to admit,
you really seem to be bonding with him.”

“It’s easy to love
a dog. I can see why you’re so committed to your job and your charitable work.
They’re so loving and loyal, yet they don’t have a voice to tell you how they
feel. They can show you, every day, and in a lot of ways, that makes things a
hell of a lot less complicated.”

She shifted the
tray to his legs so she could turn to face him. “Words have a way of
complicating things sometimes, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they do.”
He sipped his wine before saying, “Sometimes we say things we don’t mean and
hurt the people we love without intending to. I did that a lot towards the end
of our relationship.”

She smiled.
“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. I held you solely responsible
for our break up and the truth is you weren’t.”

“I let Titan get
in the way-”

“Throughout our
relationship, I let other things get in the way too. Getting through school was
demanding. Hell, it was grueling at times, but you never complained when I
canceled a date to study or I was too tired to make love because I had an
important assignment due. You simply kissed me good-night and left me alone to
do my thing because you realized how important it was for me to become the best
vet I could be.” She lowered her head, almost ashamed to look him in the eye.
“I lost sight of how much you sacrificed to let me have my dream, and I’m sorry
about that.”

He put his glass
on the tray and set it on the oversized night table beside the bed before
pulling her into his arms. “I never blamed you, baby. It was all me. We were at
a time in our lives when we should have been plannin’ for the future… the
weddin’… kids… the house…” He sighed. “I should have made that a priority because
I knew how important it was to you, but I didn’t.”

She ran her hand
over his chest, lost in her own thoughts. Their past would always be a part of
their relationship, but she didn’t want to let the bad times define it anymore.
“Why did you make all these changes in your life now?”

She needed to know
that he would have done this with or without her. If he was changing just to
make her happy, she knew it would be short-lived and he would eventually resent
her. She wanted to be free to love the man he was today, not the man he was
trying to become for her benefit.

He hesitated a
long time before he said, “I told you in the Bahamas I was ready to make some
changes.”

She looked up,
hoping to find the truth in his eyes. “Would you have done all of this with or
without me? Cut back on your work, bought the house in the country, adopted the
dog…” She desperately wanted to hear him say he would have. She didn’t want a
martyr who felt he had to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. She needed a
life partner who shared her idea of happiness. If they didn’t have the same
vision for the future, this relationship didn’t have a prayer of lasting, and
she couldn’t stand the thought of setting herself up to re-live the heartbreak
of losing him all over again.

He was quiet so
long his silence made her uneasy.

Eventually, he
said, “Everyone has to grow up sometime, right?”

“Yeah, but not
everyone’s idea of growing up is the same, Ev.” She coaxed him down on the bed
beside her and settled her head on his chest. “Not every person’s ideal life
includes kids, pets, a house in the country, family vacations to Disney World,
baseball games, dance recitals…” A tear slid down her cheek as she thought
about how much she wanted those things with him. “That’s my fantasy, but you
want to take Titan Records to new heights. You want to sign the biggest names
in country music to
your
label. Those are your dreams, right?”

He traced a finger
up and down her bare back. “Why can’t I have it all? You, the family, the
occasional vacation… Why does it have to be all or nothing?”

A sigh escaped as
she rolled on to her back. In the comfort of his arms, letting her heart lead
her was too easy, but she needed to be pragmatic now. They were talking about
the rest of their lives. “You’re the president of a large company, Evan.
Hundreds of people rely on you for their livelihood. I’m not naïve enough to
think that’s ever going to be a 9-5 job. You will have to work nights,
weekends, travel…” Her head hurt just thinking about losing him to his job all
over again.

“Look,” he said,
rolling on to his side to face her. “I’m not a banker or an insurance salesman,
that’s true. My phone doesn’t stop ringin’ at five. Artists expect me to be
available whenever they have a problem or a question. That’s the commitment I made
to them when they signed on with our label. I vowed to make their careers a
priority, and I intend to honor that promise.”

He leaned in to
kiss her and the love he poured into that kiss broke her heart.

“I know that,” she
said. “I would never ask you to renege-”

He pressed another
kiss to her lips to silence her, smiling when he pulled away. “But you come
first. Period. Sorting out my priorities took a long time, and I’ll admit, you
didn’t become my top priority until you weren’t in my life anymore, which I
know is ironic, not to mention stupid.”

She smiled and
held her finger and thumb up a fraction of an inch apart. “Maybe just a
little.”

“Honey, dumpin’ me
was the best thing you could have done for me. It was exactly the wake-up call
I needed to help me get my life together, figure out what’s important and
what’s not important. I don’t have to be at every A-list party. That’s my
brother’s deal. He loves to schmooze, I don’t, so he can handle that stuff.”

She listened as he
laid out his game plan, and with every passing second, she got more excited as
their future began to take shape before her eyes.

“Trey has come on
board to deal with artist acquisition and development. It’s perfect. Who better
to mentor new talent than a guy who’s sold a hundred million records?”

She couldn’t argue
with that logic. “Makes sense,” she said, reaching out to stroke his chest.
With him lying there, looking so sexy and rumpled, telling her everything she’d
waited years to hear, the urge to touch him was irresistible.

“Just makin’ those
changes is gonna free up a lot of my time. I meant what I said; I’m shiftin’ my
priorities because it’s time for me to have a life that doesn’t revolve around
Titan.” He kissed her gently, as though he felt the need to punctuate his
promise. “There hasn’t been anyone else for me this past year, Erika. Hell, I
couldn’t even think about lettin’ anyone else in. You’re the only woman I’ve
ever wanted. You know that.”

She was stunned to
learn she wasn’t the only one who’d been celibate this past year. “I love you,”
she whispered, deciding now was the perfect time to tell him everything in her
heart. “I never stopped loving you.”

He winced as
though he was experiencing physical pain. “That night at Jimmy’s…”

“I said what I
thought I had to say to convince you to move on.” She pulled him down into her
arms. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered in his ear. “So sorry that I hurt you,
misled you…”

“It’s okay,” he
said, kissing her neck. “The only thing that matters is that you’re here now
and we’re gettin’ a second chance to get this right.”

She held his head
in her hands and kissed him, hoping to convey the love, trust, and happiness
he’d inspired.

Evan groaned
inwardly when their party planner, Courtney, stormed in to his office first
thing on Monday morning. “Didn’t your mama ever teach you to knock? I could’ve
been in a meetin’ with a client.”

She tossed her
long, dark red mane over her shoulder and narrowed her piercing green eyes at
him. “Maybe if you’d answered my calls this weekend, I wouldn’t have to resort
to these measures.”

He’d turned his
phone off for most of the weekend, turning it on only to respond to the most
urgent messages and emails. Courtney didn’t make the list.

“What the hell
were you up to all weekend?” she asked, fisting a hand on her hip as she glared
at him.

She was all decked
out in a black business suit that did little to hide the luscious curves that
routinely gave men whiplash.

When Evan didn’t
respond to her question right away, she crossed her arms and began tapping her
designer stiletto on the plush carpet under her feet. “I haven’t got all day. I
asked you a question.”

Evan knew he’d
made a mistake allowing the boundaries of their relationship to get blurred
this past year. Evidently, he needed to remind her who the boss was. “Watch
your tone with me, Courtney. Don’t forget that I’m the guy who signs your pay
checks.”

Looking properly
chastised, she relaxed her stance. “I’m sorry, but we have a lot of work to do
on the benefit before this weekend.” She ran a manicured hand through her hair.
“I still can’t believe you pulled the rug out from under me like this at the
last minute.”

He glared at her.
“I’m the client, remember? It’s my prerogative to change my mind.”

“Still,” she said,
sinking into the chair across from him. “Pullin’ the plug on that other charity
at the last minute was a pretty lousy thing to do.”

His conscience had
chastised him for that, but he knew it was for the greater good. He needed an
excuse to spend more time with Erika, and his plan worked. The only time they’d
bothered to get dressed all weekend was when they took the dogs out for some exercise.
“I made a sizeable donation to their cause. Besides, I didn’t like what I heard
about their director.”

“You know they
fired that guy, Evan.”

“Yeah, but that
doesn’t mean some of the others weren’t in on it.”

She rolled her
eyes. “If you believed that, you wouldn’t have donated your own money.”

He rolled his
finger over the mouse to refresh his computer screen. “Bottom line, I’m more
passionate about this cause. Second Chance is exactly the kind of charity I
want Titan associated with movin’ forward.”

She crossed her
arms again and glared at him. “That wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact
that your ex-girlfriend is the founder, now would it?”

Evan sighed. Given
the nature of their relationship, he knew he owed Courtney some explanation
about his plans. “Yeah, as a matter of fact, it would.” Turning away from his
computer, he pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing he’d taken the time to
have an extra cup of coffee. This was bound to be a long day. “Erika and I have
a long history, you know that.”

“Yeah, but I
thought that was over. I mean, you and I have had this going for-”

He held his hand
up to silence her. “You and I both know that was just a physical relationship,
nothin’ more. I never made any promises. You were free to see other people and so
was I.” Evan cursed softly when he saw the hurt in her eyes. “Look, I’m sorry
that sounded harsh.”

“This has all been
for her, hasn’t it?” she demanded, crossing one shapely leg as she leaned back
in her chair, gripping her armrests.

He knew women like
Courtney didn’t wallow in hurt for long before anger and resentment moved in.
“What’re you talkin’ about?” He didn’t want to continue this conversation, but
he knew getting rid of her would be easier if he just answered her questions.

“All of these
changes you’ve made. That house in the middle of nowhere, that mangy old dog,
bringing Trey on board…” She ticked the items off on her fingers, but she
dropped her hands when she saw the warning in his stare.

“First of all, I
don’t need your approval to buy a house or adopt a pet, and I sure as hell
don’t need you to tell me how to run my business.”

“Just tell me one
thing,” she said quietly.

If she’d demanded
to know, he would have thrown her out of his building, but the twinge of sorrow
lacing her words made him realize she was smarting beneath that ice cold
veneer. “Fine, what do you want to know?” he asked, leaning over his desk.