Bundle of Joy (30 page)

Now she knew she'd trade them all away in an instant if it meant she and Charlie and Erin could be together forever.

But it was too late now for happy endings. Maybe if she'd been honest from the start, they might have had a chance but now with each day that passed she realized that the moment for truth was long gone.

#

Charlie finished work on the cradle Saturday afternoon. Every inch of it had been lovingly sanded and stained and polished and now it stood ready to occupy the position of honor in his daughter's nursery. Sam's mother had volunteered to outfit the cradle with the necessary goodies that Charlie knew nothing about and so he lugged it over to the Deans' house in Rocky Hill early that evening.

"What a treasure!" Betty Dean exclaimed as he set it down in their living room. "Erin's one lucky little girl."

Charlie beamed at the praise. "Why is it I feel like I'm the lucky one?"

"Just you wait until those two a.m. feedings, Charlie. You'll be wondering how lucky you really are!" Betty's words were teasing and Charlie didn't have to look far to see the absolute delight she took in everything to do with babies.

He glanced down at the coffee table which was piled high with photos and clippings.

"Did I interrupt something?"

Betty motioned for him to take a seat on the sofa. "I'm putting together a family scrapbook for the little one." She held up a green leather volume and a cranberry one. "Which do you like best?"

He pointed toward the cranberry. "Birth announcement and that kind of thing?"

"Family history," said Betty, fingering some black and white photos. "So Erin knows where she came from. I'm alternating pages so if you could get together some of your favorites, I'll add them."

He nodded, drawn to a glossy color photo on the stack closest to him.
"You have photos of Caroline as a little girl?"

"Why, of course, I do," said Betty as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

And as it turned out, it was.

#

Late Sunday morning Charlie showed up at Caroline's apartment in Bill O'Rourke's Dodge.

"Ready to get the baby?" he asked, as if she wasn't already chomping at the bit to get to the hospital.

"Ready," she said, outwardly cool and calm.

Charlie negotiated the trip without hazard. The closer they got to the hospital, the louder Caroline's heart beat inside her chest. In less than one hour that tiny bundle of baby girl would be her responsibility. Helpless. Demanding. Beautiful and precious and deserving of so much. A full-time father, for one.

How on earth would she ever manage to be all things to that child?

"Cold feet?" asked Charlie.

"Of course not," she said. "It's chilly in here, that's all."

He said nothing, just raised the thermostat.

"Best of luck, Mr. and Mrs. Donohue," said the head nurse fifteen minutes later as she placed Erin in Caroline's trembling arms. "She's a wonderful little girl."

Caroline bit back tears as she kissed the top of Erin's downy head. Charlie looked away, eyes downcast. The baby slept the sleep of the innocent. The head nurse looked from the new mother to the new father and shrugged. Usually first-time parents were giddy with excitement, eager to race home with their precious bundle of joy. Caroline and Charlie stood in the middle of the lobby, Erin cradled in her mother's arms, and looked as if they had no place better to go.

"Well, best of luck," the nurse repeated. "I know you three will be very happy."

The noon siren sounded.
Charlie brought the car around to the front.
Six more hours,
thought Caroline as they struggled to bundle the baby into the infant car seat Sam had sent along. In just six more hours the christening would be over. Party guests would be saying their goodbyes and when the front door closed behind the last one, Caroline and Charlie's marriage would come to an end.

#

Jean Donohue had been unable to get a flight up from Miami, but she'd sent along a beautiful, lacy christening dress for Erin. It didn't come with a family history, but it did come from the heart and even Charlie was touched. Caroline's family sent a Hallmark card, which was more than she had expected.

Only Sam and Murphy, the baby's godparents, attended the church service.

"Oh, will you look at this little doll?" Sam crooned as she cradled her goddaughter in her arms. "She's the image of the two of you."

Caroline and Charlie made a point of avoiding each other's eyes.

"She has your hair, Charlie," said Sam, oblivious to the tension between them. "Dark as a raven's wing."

Murphy, however, seemed to pick up on the vibes. "Sam only gets poetic around babies."

Caroline forced a smile but Charlie seemed too jumpy to manage even that.

The ceremony was short and solemn, yet joyous. Charlie found himself laughing with tears in his eyes as the baby's little face wrinkled in a frown at the touch of the holy water on her forehead. Caroline, in one of her elegant Chanel suits, stood straight and proud near the baptismal font. She looked even more beautiful today than she had the first time he'd seen her, singing atop the piano at O'Rourke's Bar and Grill a lifetime ago.

He half-expected a choir of angels to swoop down on them and touch the day with magic. Truth was, he might need exactly that.

They drove back to Caroline's apartment slowly, easing their way over the ice-encrusted roads. Huge mountains of snow were piled on either side, giving the impression of driving through an enormous arctic tunnel.

The baby, of course, slept through it all.

Bill O'Rourke popped out on the balcony of Caroline's apartment as Charlie pulled up to the front door. "They're here!" he called out. "Let the party begin."

"I wish we weren't doing this," said Caroline as Charlie helped her out. "I'm not in much of a party mood."

"It won't last long," said Charlie. "I told Sam to skip the buffet and just bring over coffee and cakes."

Caroline swallowed past the lump in her throat
. Oh, Charlie,
she thought.
You can't wait to be free, can you?

The birth certificate was signed, sealed, and delivered. Erin had been baptized and blessed with godparents who adored her. The baby's parentage had been proudly proclaimed and documented. The only thing left was the party and that would be over before they knew it.

#

"I want to be the first to toast the wee one," Scotty declaimed in his best professorial manner. "To a beautiful little girl who is surpassed only by the goodness in her parents' hearts. May you three lead a charmed life together."

"Oh, Scotty." Caroline hugged her dear old friend, struggling to control her tears.

"Now none of that," said Scotty, handing her his linen handkerchief. "This is a day for celebration!"

Involuntarily Caroline's eyes sought Charlie's, but he was deep in conversation with Sam's mom. There was something about the sight of Mrs. Dean talking with Charlie that gave Caroline pause but she brushed her uneasiness away and edged closer to where they were standing.

"You should've seen her when the holy water dribbled on her chin. I'm surprised the whole town didn't hear her howls of indignation."

Betty laughed out loud then noticed Caroline. "So your little girl has made her presence known, has she, honey?"

"That she has, Aunt Betty." Caroline gave her surrogate mom a kiss on the cheek. "Her lung power is something to behold."

"Sammy was like that, too," said Betty with a shake of her head. "Afraid it's something she's never outgrown." Betty launched into a hilarious description of the differences between her daughter and her daughter's two children that had Charlie laughing uproariously.

Did Betty Dean have any idea how lucky she was to have a husband and children and grandchildren who loved her and shared in the good times and the bad?
Oh, Charlie,
she thought, holding the baby closer to her heart
. If only....

"Would you excuse me?" asked Caroline. "I think she's tired. I'd better put her down."

She disappeared down the hallway with Erin.
You will not cry in public,
she warned herself. No matter how much it hurt, she'd keep her tears private.

The door to the nursery was closed. She shifted Erin and reached for the doorknob.

"Need a hand?"

She started as Charlie came up behind her. "The door," she said gesturing with her head.

He turned the knob and the door swung open. There, in the middle of the room, was the pine cradle they'd bought on that other Sunday afternoon when life had seemed wonderful.

"Oh." Her breath rushed from her lungs. "It's...it's so beautiful, Charles. You put so much work into it."

"I wasn't sure what to put in it besides the baby," he said with a sheepish grin. "Sam's mom helped me with that."

"Mrs. Dean is a terrific seamstress," said Caroline stiffly. "Those coverlets are lovely."

"Should we put the baby to bed?"

Caroline's cheeks reddened. "I think she's hungry."

"I put the rocking chair near the window. I thought that would be a good place for you to nurse her."

"Thank you."
You look so serious, Charlie. Is it that hard to say goodbye?

She settled herself in the rocking chair and he handed her two of the pastel towels stacked near the stuffed dogs. He squatted down next to her and gently stroked Erin's petal-soft cheek. Despite the fact that they'd created the baby in her arms, Caroline couldn't bring herself to nurse in front of him. Once she'd dreamed of a scene like this, the sweetness and joy of it. Now it only made her feel like exposed and vulnerable and terribly, terribly sad.

"I suppose I should start packing now," he said, as casually as you'd ask someone if they needed a loaf of bread from the store.

She struggled to keep her gaze focused on her daughter. "There's no r
ush, Charlie. Take your time."
Take forever, please...

"The moving men are coming next week. I have to get things ready."

Tears slid down her cheeks faster than she could blink them away. "I understand."

"I don't think you do."

Her backbone of steel snapped into place. "I'm a big girl, Charles. I took care of myself before, I can take care of myself and Erin now."

"Fine," he said with a lazy smile, "but wouldn't you be happier taking care of her in that big Victorian farmhouse we saw?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed. "The one where we found the cradle?"
That wonderful, family house?

"That's the one."

"You bought that house?"

He nodded. "I bought it."

"When?"

"A week before Erin arrived."

"Without asking me?"

"I figured I'd take a chance,
Carly.
"

It took a second for his words to sink in. "What did you call me?"

"Carly." He paused. "That was what they used to call you when you were a kid, wasn't it?"

"I--I don't understand. How could you possibly--?"

"I was at Mrs. Dean's place picking up the stuff for the cradle. She showed me a photo album she's putting together for Erin."

"Baby pictures?"

"Childhood pictures." He took her hand. "Of you."

Her heart pounded violently, but she kept her tone cautious, measured. "So now you know."

"Why didn't you tell me you grew up near Rocky Hill?"

She struggled to seem casual but failed miserably. "You never asked."

"Sam's mom said you even spent a few years with them."

Her look was defiant. "Yes, I did. Funny thing, how forgetful families can be. I'm still waiting for train tickets to Ohio."

"I don't think you'll need them."

"I don't know if you can understand this, but here goes: I didn't go to the 'right' schools, Charles. I didn't grow up with servants and limousines and respect." Her laugh was bittersweet. "I didn't even have parents who cared whether I was with them or not.

"If you think that matters to me, then we have a bigger problem than where you grew up."

"This isn't funny," she managed. "If this is some kind of joke...."

She looked into his eyes and to her amazement she saw right into his soul
. He loves me,
she thought. Carly Bradley. The real woman behind the facade she'd worked so hard to create. The glitter didn't matter to Charlie; the grit in her soul did
. He loves me just the way I am.

"That house is meant for us," he was saying. "There's a big room upstairs that would make a great nursery."

"I thought you didn't want to be tied down."