Brush of Shade (24 page)

I scanned the
area, trying to spot Trent. I was hoping we could talk about our plans for the
break. A group of little kids were skating on a man-made rink and pre-teens at
the toboggan run were lined up in clusters of three or four. Families were
gathered around picnic tables eating and laughing. I shivered. Who thought an
outdoor potluck in the middle of winter was a good idea? Then I remembered
,
Shade had warmed a cup of tea in the palms of his hands.
At least his food would be warm, if we ever ate. I found Aunt Claire, sitting
at a filled picnic table with people her age. Only if I was desperate would I
squeeze in there. Lights turned on at the shed at the base of the ski lift.
That would explain the comment I’d overheard about a race after dinner.

“Here you are.
When I ask you to wait somewhere, I’d appreciate you staying put,” Shade said,
sounding way too much like his twin for me to feel like anything but a burden.

I took the
steaming mug from his hand and continued to stare into the dancing flames that
had calmed upon his arrival. “I’m not a dog. I’ve been deciding when to sit or
stand on my own for years now. Just so we’re clear, I’m not a toddler who might
get too close to the flames.”

“Sorry, guess I
was gone kind of long. I ran into an old friend and couldn’t get away.”

“Talk to whoever
you want,” I replied past the growing lump in my throat.

He tilted his
head and squinted down at me. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.
Go hang out with your friends.”

“That would be
rude. I brought you.”

“Then introduce
me or take me home. Standing around bored and ignored isn’t fun.”

“No one is
speaking to you?” he asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

One person did,
and that went so well. “Apparently I make people uncomfortable or something. I
came over to the fire and everyone sort of moved off. Are you sure the clans actually
like my family? You haven’t been hiding the ugly truth have you?”

“What are you
talking about?”

“Well, I’ve just
been snubbed. So I’ve got to wonder, did people actually like my dad?” I
couldn’t imagine why they wouldn’t. He was thought highly of in the diplomatic
community. It could be that in this day and age folks didn’t like the idea of a
warden. I already had one dissenter in Shade’s own twin, and Aunt Claire had
mentioned problems with the purist.

“You’ve been
through a lot. Folks are trying to respect your feelings considering how new
all of this is for you.”

“I was snubbed.”

“I think you’re
being overly sensitive,” he replied, nodding at a group of guys that called his
name.

“Well, whichever
is the truth, it’s lonely and sort of depressing.” Foolish me, I’d assumed a
harmless comment about the beautiful evening would seem friendly. “Why don’t
you take me home, and then come back on your own.”

His gaze
alighted on something that made him smile. “I’ve a better solution. Follow me.”

Following wasn’t
an option. Shade took my mug and hooked my right arm with his left. At a nice
companionable pace we cut through the center of the crowd, past the tables
laden with steaming food on warming plates, and into the main body of picnic
tables.

Oh joy; it was a
repeat of the first day of school. I tried to ignore the craning heads and
well-placed elbows jabbing neighbor’s sides. Conversations fizzled out as we
passed by only to be reenergized by new, hot topics interspersed with my name.
I spotted a couple faces I recognized from school. All but one returned my
hesitant smile. If Shade noticed the hard, unwelcoming expressions from that
table, he covered it well as he exchanged holiday greetings with what felt like
half the valley.

“Wait a minute,”
I said, tugging on his arm when I realized our destination.

“What, you
wanted company?” he answered, grinning down at me. “It’s time you met my
family. Hey, don’t look scared, they’ll like you.”

Easy for him to
say; he didn’t understand the problem. Voices rose in enthusiastic greetings
except for those of Grandpa Fern and Shadow whose animated grins turned sour. I
felt Shadow’s burning eyes follow me down the length of the table.

 “Everyone,
I’d like to introduce, Olivia Pepperdine,” Shade announced.

“Sit next to me,”
a young girl called out, elbowing the two boys on either side of her and then
scooting over to make room for both of us.

“Meadow, always the social butterfly.”
Shade chuckled as he
ruffled her yellow-blonde hair. “I’ll leave my precocious nine year’s old,
going on twenty-one, cousin Meadow to take care of the introductions while I
get us something to eat.”

Feeling every
pair of eyes on me, I stepped over the bench. With Shade’s supportive hand on
my arm I avoided an awkward klutz moment. Once again, his perceptiveness does
not go unappreciated by me or unnoticed by Shadow who glowered from the other
end of the table. I suppressed an exasperated sigh and forced myself to smile
in his direction.

Amongst those
seated at the long table were Meadow’s parents and her thirteen-year-old
brother
Rylan
. As luck would have it, Shade’s uncle
on his father’s side turned out to be my physics teacher.

“How’s the
makeup work coming along?” Shade’s uncle asked.

“I’d love to say
great, so I don’t have to spend half my break studying. It might as well be
some ancient text for all the sense it’s making.”

“I can help you
with that.”

Before I could
thank him, he’d turned and leaned forward to look down the table. “Shad, Olivia
needs tutoring and some make up lab work. Stop by the house for keys to my
lab.”

“What?” Shad
said, pinning me to my seat with a hostile glare.

“Tutor, Olivia,
lab, keys. I think those are the highlights.”

Could the day
get any worse? I didn’t dare look down the table at Shadow. Instead, I
concentrated on smiling politely through Meadow’s introductions. Alright, I
couldn’t help it, I turned. Frigid, hate-filled eyes were boring into my head.
Because I knew it would irritate him, I dredged forth a smile. Unfortunately,
Shade’s parents were also seated that direction, so I was forced to endure
Shadow’s angry glowers for the duration of the introduction.

“Mr. and Mrs.
Grisland
, I’d like to apologize for monopolizing Shade’s
time,” I said.

“Call us
Keeley
and Logan, dear,” Shade’s mother replied, smiling
down the length of the table at me.

“Thank you, but
I can’t. My dad’s voice is in my head ready to spout the appropriate lecture on
respect for one’s elders.” It hit me what I had said so casually. I clenched my
eyes shut, waiting for the sadness to pour into every cell in my body where it
would bake and harden, sealing me in. But this time—thanks to Sister Willow’s
treatment—I was a nonstick surface capable of relating and thinking without the
gripping full body pain.

 “In your eyes,
we’re strangers. To us, dear, you’re family. Our hearts are gladdened now that
you’ve come home,”
Keeley
Grisland
said sincerely, her smile, like Shade’s, warm and caring. Others at the table
made similar comments, except for Shadow, who stuffed his mouth with food.

Determined to
honor my parents, I struggled to my feet before Meadow could perform the last
introduction. “Sister Willow, it’s a pleasure to see you so soon. I hope our
session today wasn’t too taxing. I’ve been feeling bad about darkening your
holiday with my memories.”

“Don’t worry
about me, dear. I’m the tough, old matriarch of this brood. When you’re ready,
the collective will share in your distress. Our deep love will ease your sorrow
and our joy will sweep away the ugliness you were forced to endure. Until that
day, my door is always open should you require my touch to continue your
healing journey.”

Completely
undone by her heartfelt expression of support, I sank mutely onto my seat. I
listened as Shade’s family quickly filled the awkward silence with lighthearted
teasing that flowed so easily between them. This is it, I thought, realizing
what had been missing for years. In an instant, it had been taken from my
family, never to return. Mom had never really recovered from the blow, and Dad
had buried himself in his work and this valley. Now it was too late. Mom and
Dad were gone, and I was still living this empty life, always the outsider
looking in. A powerful ache built in my chest. Had these people really meant
that I was family? Would they still when they discovered I was a poor
substitute for Danny? My face scrunched up. To cover, I sipped my hot
chocolate, trying hard to block out the conversations sprinkled with laughter.

The minute Shade
returned, Meadow dragged him onto the bench and whispered into his ear.

“Ask her,” he
said, giving Meadow a nudge. “She won’t bite.”

“Olivia, what do
you want for Christmas?” she asked, poking her head out around her cousin and
then quickly ducking out of sight.

“I haven’t given
it much thought.”

She gasped. “Not
thought about it? My list is a page-and-a-half long.”

“Yes, we know,
dear,” her mother said, smiling indulgently at her daughter.

“Things have
been unsettled at your house this season, Olivia. If you and your aunt don’t
have any plans, feel free to stop by our place,”
Keeley
Grisland
offered. “Don’t worry about intruding. It’s
not Christmas if the house isn’t overflowing with family and friends. It’ll be
a great way to kick off your first Christmas in the valley. We sing carols and
play cards.”

“Don’t forget
spoons.” Logan
Grisland
elbowed Shadow. “This year,
you’re going down.”

“How about this
year, we avoid putting a hole in my wall,”
Keeley
said, shaking her head fondly at the men in her house. “After Christmas dinner,
we end the night by dropping off appreciation tokens at each clan member’s
house.”

“Sometimes they
invite us in for hot chocolate and cookies. Two years ago, the clan held a
mega, last man standing snowball fight,” Meadow said, bouncing up and down on
the bench. “You have to come.” Meadow turned pleading eyes first onto me and
then onto the others at the table. “Mom, tell her she’s got to come.”

Logan
Grisland
paused between mouthfuls. “I remember Claire
joining us when she’s been here for the holiday. So what have you two got
planned? Maybe you could squeeze us in?”

“Planned?” I
fumbled for an answer finally settling for a lame response. “I’ll deal with
whatever my aunt wants to do.” From the anxious look
Keeley
Grisland
exchanged first with her husband and then
with Shade, I knew I needed to head this off before this conversation got back
to my aunt. “What I meant to say is that we’ll probably exchange gifts, and
then just do what we usually do on a Saturday, put a movie on.” Copying Shadow,
I stuffed food into my mouth.

It should’ve
occurred to me that people would be curious. All those pairs of happy, caring
eyes staring at me were just too much. The injustice of it all spilled the
words out of my mouth before I even realized it. “After Danny died we stopped
celebrating.”

Silverware
clattered onto plates or froze mid-scrape. A low hum filled the air. Where
Shade’s thigh pressed against mine, I felt a quick flare of heat accompanied by
the equally brief pressure of his mind wrapping about mine, giving me a mental
hug. He wadded his napkin in his hand, but when he
spoke,
his voice mirrored the sadness on everybody’s face. “That explains why I didn’t
see a tree. I thought maybe it was still in the garage waiting to go up on
Christmas Eve.”

Why had I been
upset when no one spoke to me? Great, now I’ve spoiled the mood. I should’ve
just made something up. Someone please change the topic. I buried myself in my
plate of food, letting conversations swirl about me. Every so often, Shade
leaned forward to stare at my profile. I said nothing and eventually he left me
in peace.

It wasn’t until
the plates were being stacked together that I realized the bonfire had died
down and that many of the nearby tables were empty. I tuned back into the
conversation in time to hear Meadow pleading with Shadow.

“You promised.
It’s going to start any minute.”

 “They’re
lining up,”
Rylan
shouted, pointing up at the ridge
line, his voice cracking shrilly as it changed, making everyone within hearing,
grimace.

Meadow grabbed
my arm and tugged. “Olivia, come with us.”

Spend time with
Shadow, no thanks. Unfortunately, I couldn’t say that, especially with helpful
people like Meadow’s mother around.

“Go, Olivia.
You’ll enjoy this.”

“I’m sure Olivia
isn’t interested,” Shadow said before I could answer.

I handed a stack
of plates to his mother and noticed Shade’s icy eyes chiseling into his
brother. I was glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of that.

“Just kidding,
of course the warden’s heir should join us,” Shadow said flatly.

When Shade joined
the kids, I breathed a soft sigh. “What are they doing?” I asked, trekking
along behind, keeping an eye on the activity at the shed next to the top of the
ski lift.

“Getting ready
for team vibe skiing,” Shade answered. “The idea is to create a glide path by
focus vibrating on the area around your smooth-soled boots, creating a slick
streak of ice for speed or the right consistency patch of snow from powdery to
packing for control. The trick is to stay on your feet while being faster and
more accurate than the other teams while navigating through a series of gates.”

“Once we get
higher up the slope, you’ll be able to see the two types of gates. Each member
of your team must pass through the red gates. If someone misses, points are
deducted. Black gates require only one member to pass through but a pair
working in tandem to get it accomplished. A board man launches his glide man
through a gate that sends the glide man rocketing into the air. If the next
gate is black, the glide man becomes the board man for his teammate. The
waiting teammate has to judge the glide man’s air time and landing site, timing
his approach and subsequent hook up for launch. On the high courses like this
we run a six person team with five teams out on the slope. Interspersed along
the slope are seven red and five black gates. The team with the fastest time
less deductions wins.”