Brooklyn & Beale (10 page)

“So what are you going to wear to torture everyone tonight?” Inky asked, having returned from her nap.

Chloe’s skin heated and an embarrassed smile spread across her face. “I’m not torturing anyone,” she scoffed.

“Bullshit,” Greer coughed into his hand, causing everyone to laugh.

“Stop, I do not.” The attention made Chloe uncomfortable, even though she knew that wasn’t anyone’s intention. She didn’t want people to notice her because of her outfit, although she was smart enough to know she wouldn’t receive half the applause she got had she worn the equivalent of a potato sack.

“As a man,” Greer said, his voice even, solemn, “I can attest that you do, in fact, torture every guy who sees you on stage. And for the really unfortunate bastards, the ones trapped in close quarters with you for extended periods of time . . . their suffering never ends.”

Chloe threw her pen at Greer and giggled. “Oh my God, you’re completely ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously serious,” Greer retorted with a wink.

“Oh boy,” Inky sighed. “You two are going to be trouble.”

“How about we concentrate more on the show we have tonight and less on what outfit Chloe’s going to wear?” All eyes turned in Reid’s direction, the sharp bite of his voice a stark contrast to the lighthearted conversation seconds before.

“Of course,” Chloe said, shooting Reid an apologetic smile. However, Reid wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was locked on Greer, his expression a stony mask. He was angry, annoyed, and if Chloe wasn’t mistaken, maybe a little bit jealous.

As they exited the bus, the air around the group remained thick with tension. The crew set about removing their equipment from under the bus and hauling it inside. Chloe sorted through her things, making sure to put what she needed for the show in a second bag. Inky appeared by her side and peeked over her shoulder.

“That’s a badass shirt.”

“Thanks. Although, maybe I should pick a different one so I don’t torture all those helpless men.” The sarcasm in Chloe’s voice was clear, but a small part of her wondered if maybe she should tone down her outfits.

“Whatever. Don’t let them get to you. Men are like packs of wild dogs, constantly asserting themselves as the alpha and fighting over every bone they see. Even though
some
of them already have a bone and, therefore, have no business fighting over a bone they can’t have anyway.”

“Why do I get the feeling I’m the bone in this metaphor?”

Inky grinned and moved into the open area of the bus. “Because bones are smart.”

“Well, this bone thinks you’re crazy. But for the record, I’m not interested in being a chew toy for anyone.” Chloe grabbed her things and turned to follow Inky, but she stopped when she noticed Inky hadn’t moved. Pulling in a deep breath, she moved into the open area, unsurprised to find Reid leaning against the counter, his eyes on Inky. Chloe had no doubt he overheard their conversation.

“Hey,” Chloe said, breaking the silence. “Were you looking for me?”

Reid hesitated a moment before answering. “Actually, Tom’s looking for Inky. He had a couple of questions about the merchandise inventory.”

“He inside?” Inky asked, moving to the door.

“Yup.”

Inky left without another word, leaving Chloe and Reid alone in the bus. “Everything okay?” she asked.

Reid nodded and pushed his hands into his pockets. The movement caused the muscles in his arms to strain under his colorfully inked skin. The sight distracted Chloe, but only for a moment before she adjusted the shoulder strap of her bag and shifted her weight.

“Did you need to talk, or are you here for some last-minute Jedi schooling? I feel like our training time has been sorely lacking.”

Reid pushed away from the counter, his smile easy, his stance less rigid. “I blame the lack of homemade pastries.” After a moment, he exhaled and dropped his chin. “Listen,” he said, looking toward the floor. “I wanted to apologize for earlier. I wasn’t angry with you.”

“You sure seemed angry with someone.”

“I guess I’m still stressed about the show, the changes we still need to make and . . .” Reid groaned and pushed his hair back. His jaw ticked and his eyes darted from place to place.

“And, what? You seemed fine before your phone call. Is everything okay?” She didn’t mention Jess by name. She didn’t have to.

“No. I . . . it’s just hard being on the road again. Jess and I—” Reid paused again, his fingers tapping in rapid movements against his thighs. “We haven’t been back together very long. I worry what this tour might do to us. You know how fans are with social media now. Everything is uncensored and in your face.”

“Ah. I see. You can’t control what others say, though. Trying would be pointless.” Chloe assumed Jess read or saw something she didn’t like. The way Reid reacted to the conversation between her and Greer, Chloe figured it had something to do with her.

“I know.”

“Everything will be fine. One day at a time and all that.”

Reid smiled and moved to the front of the bus. “Thanks. I’m going to head inside and start setting up for rehearsal.”

“Okay, I just need to run to the back and drop off some things and I’ll meet you there.”

Chloe waited until Reid was gone before falling onto the seat behind her and letting out a heavy breath. They weren’t even a week into the tour and already there was drama. If this kept up, it was going to be a really long year.

Sweat rolled down the side of Reid’s face as the heat of the lights beat down on him. In long, slow strides, he paced the stage. The heels of his boots scuffed along planks of weathered and worn wood. The roar of the crowd smothered his thoughts, even though he was completely alone. Moving to the center of the stage, he lowered his head and pulled in a deep breath.

Images danced in his mind. Pictures of past shows, past lives, all the things he’d gained, and all the things he’d lost. He was trapped in a torturous euphoria. He wondered if he would ever find his way to the other side of the looking glass, get back to the man he was, or more importantly, if he deserved to.

With his eyes closed, he let the last couple of weeks play like a slide show as a beat formed in his head. It started off slow, pulsing, new. The blood rushing through his veins echoed in his ears. His fingers tapped against his thigh as the rhythm grew, and he swallowed hard to keep excitement and hope from rising to the surface.

A thump and a beat. A pause and a breath. A low hum rose from the back of his throat, deep and dark. Words floated and fluttered in his mind, moving close then dashing away, teasing and taunting. His muscles tensed as the beginning of a melody worked its way to his lips.

“Steel and silk,” he whispered, his mouth dry. “Soft strands floating in the wind, a canvas of color covering her skin . . .” He paused when the words and melody began to fade. He tried to pull them back, hold on to them just a little longer, but as always, blackness closed in, the colors and wind fading to all-consuming nothingness.

“
Goddammit
,” he roared, grabbing the mic stand next to him and hurling it into the open space past the stage. Defeat and frustration lay across his shoulders like a blanket of concrete, causing his knees to buckle until he dropped to the floor.

“Reid?”

The sound of Chloe’s voice caused him to stiffen. His heart pounded in time with her steps as she moved closer. He worked to compose himself, but when the tips of her fingers pressed gently against his shoulder, he knew it was pointless to try. He’d faked his enthusiasm about the tour since rehearsals in LA. Through Dublin, Belfast, and Manchester. He was so tired of pretending.

“Are you okay?” Silence hung heavy in the air. “Reid?”

“I can’t write,” he whispered.

“What?” Chloe’s confusion resonated in her words as she eased to the floor. “What do you mean?”

Reid never looked in her direction, keeping his eyes on his hands as he spoke. “Writing. Composing. I can’t do it.”

Chloe laughed. The sound caused the tension in Reid’s body to double. When he spoke, his tone was sharp, angry. “How is that funny?”

Chloe laughed harder. Reid cut his eyes in her direction, ready to say things to a woman he’d never imagine himself capable of when he saw the expression on her face. It wasn’t mocking or degrading; it was understanding. It was disarming.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I’m relieved,” she said, pulling herself together. “You’ve been so agitated lately. Once the shows and fan signings are over, you disappear every time. I was starting to think maybe I was bothering you, hence the avoiding thing.”

Reid’s brows furrowed and the familiar feeling of guilt washed over him. He had avoided her. Intentionally or not. “What made you think you were the reason for my agitation?”

Chloe shrugged. “I’m the newbie around here. Isn’t everything the newbie’s fault?”

Reid sighed and pushed his hair out of his face. “Believe me, if I was going to avoid anyone, it would be Greer.”

A slight smile pulled at the corner of Chloe’s mouth. “I can always count on Greer to get on people’s nerves more than me.” Chloe fidgeted and let out a breath. “You know it’s normal to go through dry spells.”

“Dry spells, I can handle. What I’m going through right now? This is different. I haven’t written a single song in over a year.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I haven’t been able to do the one thing that makes me who I am. I’m a fucking fraud.”

“Oh,” Chloe exhaled. Reid didn’t need to look at her face to see the surprise reflected in her voice.

“And it’s not just that. It’s everything. Nothing’s familiar anymore. If it weren’t for Jess . . .” Reid’s thoughts drifted to the nightmares plaguing his sleep almost every night. They were always the same. He was stuck, and the only thing keeping him from falling back into old habits was the thought of Jess. She was his lifeline. She was his connection to something real.

“I know how much it sucks to feel like you’re all alone. I’m glad you have someone.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re not, though. You know that right?”

Reid cocked his head to the side and met her gaze. “What?”

“Alone,” Chloe said with a smile as she stood. Extending her arm, she motioned for Reid to take her hand. “I might not be able to help you the same way as Jess, but I can help.”

Reid averted his gaze. “I’m not sure anyone can help me.”

“We’ll see about that.” Chloe looked at her watch and back at Reid. “Are we going to add any new songs in rehearsal this afternoon?”

Reid rubbed the back of his neck and shoved one hand in his pocket. “Yeah. ‘City Nights’ and maybe ‘Ropes.’ Are you ready?”

Chloe nodded. “I’ve spent a lot of free time working on my parts.”

“Shit, Chloe. I’m sorry. I should have been working with you.” Only a week had passed since he blew up at Greer on the way to Belfast, but it was a week he should have spent working with Chloe and not wallowing in weakness.

Chloe waved him off. “It’s no big deal. Greer took one for the team and volunteered.”

Indignation crept up Reid’s spine. The thought of Greer working with Chloe on his music bothered him in ways he wasn’t prepared to contemplate. “I doubt Greer can be very helpful since it’s not his music. I’m the only one who can decide if you’re ready or not.” He sounded like an angry, petulant child.

“Okay.” Chloe spoke in a soft tone, but Reid could hear her discomfort. He was being an idiot. And a little bit of a jerk.

“I’m sorry. It’s just, considering my current writing issues, I’m really protective over the songs I do have.”

“Understood. We’ll run through them, and if it’s not quite right, you and I can work on them later. Deal?”

Reid felt the need to apologize again, but instead, he just nodded. “Go grab some lunch. I’ll see you back here in a couple of hours.”

“You got it, boss.” Chloe flashed a wide smile and did a quick salute before disappearing the way she came.

“Jesus Christ,” Reid muttered, still staring in the direction Chloe had left. It was the first time they’d been alone since Jess had casually mentioned the review she read about their show in Dublin. She’d tried to act like she wasn’t bothered, but Reid knew better. It made him paranoid. He didn’t want to give Jess any reason to doubt him. It was a complication he couldn’t afford. Not when there were so many other things trying to pull him down. Not when Jess was one of the things holding him up.

Still, he couldn’t hide from his problems the entire tour. His music and his reputation—what was left of it—were on the line. He needed to be stronger. He would be stronger. He just needed to figure out how.

Chloe stood in front of Greer and Drew with her hands planted on her hips. She gave them a stern look, but she knew from their expressions she wasn’t threatening. Bullying wasn’t really her thing. Bargaining, however, was something she excelled at.

“Listen,” she sighed. “I swear he’s not going to be pissed.”

Greer’s eyes widened with disbelief. “I’m sorry, are we talking about the same person? The one who has acted like he’s been on his period for a week?”

Drew wrinkled his nose. “Dude. Gross.” Chloe cleared her throat, and Drew grimaced when he saw her annoyed expression. “Sorry, Chloe. It is gross, though,” he added in a mumble.

“How about we make a deal? You guys do this for me, and if it pisses him off, I’ll hand-wash your clothes for two weeks.”

“I don’t know, Chloe.” Greer scratched his chin, a mischievous smile on his face. “That doesn’t seem like a fair trade. If he gets pissed, then we’ll have to deal with the fallout.”

“Greer, I know for a fact you didn’t pack enough clothes to last between laundering. I know all about your theory that inside-out boxers are the same as clean boxers. Let me just say, it is not the same. I promise. They still smell like sweat and funk. Honestly, I have way more to lose than you if he gets mad.”

Drew laughed. “She has a point.”

Greer sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

“Sweet.” Chloe smiled, her eyes bright. Greer and Drew never stood a chance. She handed each of them a slightly modified version of the original sheet music she’d worked on the past few days. Ever since she’d left Reid on the bus. She would have liked to have spent more time tweaking a few things, but what she’d done would have to do for now. If Reid liked it, they could work on it more later. “I didn’t change a lot, but you might want to look these over before we play, or at the very least, keep them handy.”

“Damn, this is pretty cool,” Drew commented, banging out a few notes on the drums.

“When did you do this?” Greer asked, doing the same as Drew.

Chloe shrugged and fiddled with her violin. “It’s nothing. Just something I’ve been playing with the last couple of days.”

“Impressive,” Drew praised.

“Thanks. I’ll cue you when to start. Cool?”

“Everyone ready to get started?” Reid asked, interrupting their powwow. Chloe spun around, her smile a little too wide.

“Absolutely.” Her overenthusiastic response garnered a side-eye from Reid before he addressed the others.

“We’re going to add ‘Ropes’ and ‘City Nights’ into the rotation if Chloe is ready.”

“She’s ready,” Greer said, causing Chloe to grimace. She cut her eyes to Reid, who stood with his shoulders squared and his jaw taut. This wasn’t how she wanted to start the rehearsal. If Reid and Greer got into a pissing contest, there was no way Reid would be okay with what she had planned. She’d sworn to stay out of their battle of egos, but this time she needed to do damage control.

“Eh.” Chloe shrugged. “I played ‘Ropes’ earlier and missed a couple of notes. I might need a little more practice. Reid, can you let me know if anything seems off when we run through it? I don’t want your fans pissed if I mess up one of their favorite songs.”

Reid chuckled and relaxed his shoulders. “You’re not fooling anyone, Chloe.”

Her innocent expression was almost cartoonish. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Chloe, I heard you yesterday. You didn’t miss any—”

“Let’s do this,” Drew interrupted, sending Greer a meaningful look.

Chloe smiled at Drew and avoided eye contact with Greer as she got into position. The last thing she wanted to do was demean Greer’s help, but he knew how protective Reid was about his music. Sometimes she wondered if Greer pushed his buttons on purpose. Regardless of his motives, the moment Reid turned away from the group, she turned to Greer and mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes before nodding with a sigh. “It’s fine,” he mouthed back.

“Let’s start with ‘In the Dark,’” Reid instructed.

Everyone got into position as Drew counted down with the tapping of his drumsticks. Chloe closed her eyes as the opening beat flooded the silence. The soft sounds of the keyboard and violin harmonizing with the deep bass of the drum pulled Chloe into the music. Lulled into an almost sedated state, she wasn’t prepared for the crushing emotion that saturated the air when Reid began to sing. Song after song, his voice mimicked the lyrics. Soft and sad, rough and tender, hopeful and despairing. It was like nothing she’d ever experienced, and it affected her in ways she didn’t realize were possible.

She wanted to step behind Reid and wrap her arms around his waist. She wanted to press her cheek to his back and hug him as tightly as possible. She wanted to do anything to stop the pain in his voice. The more he sang, the clearer his lyrics became. Puzzle pieces fell into place and Reid’s past began to take shape. She’d heard these songs more than a hundred times but had never really thought about the inspiration behind them. Until now. Jess wasn’t just some girl; she was
the
girl. The one he sang about, longed for, and mourned the loss of. The one he’d finally gotten back.