Broken Rules (20 page)

Alex stilled, wondering if she said the wrong
thing, even though everything about his expression, his body language said it
was all right, “does that scare you?” she asked softly and he bellowed a laugh.

 “
Mi amor
, I keep telling you, I’m not
the one who’s scared. You are!” He laughed as he talked.

 “Well, I am scared of getting pregnant.”

 “Would that be the worst thing in the
world?” he asked sincerely and Alex froze.

 “You’re kidding me, right?” she said without
a single twinge of humor.

 “No, Alexandra, I’m not.” He said, serious
as a heart attack.

 “Marco, we’ve known each other for a few
weeks, a month. And we won’t even be able to be out in public for the next two.
And you’re talking children?” Alex was pissed, not an emotion that came to her
easily. It took a lot to push her there. For someone who worked in the
industry, she had seen far too many people take their jobs, their roles and
their status far too seriously, getting upset over the tiniest things. Alex had
never been that person. And given what happened with her parents, she learned
from a young age not to sweat the small stuff.

But this was not small stuff. And she was angry. A
29-year-old man being caviler about an accidental pregnancy. She shook her head
and got up out of bed, heading towards the bathroom. As she started to close
the door, his foot stopped her.

 “Alexandra,
mi amor
, I know this is
fast, I know it’s scary. But I know what I feel with you.” his eyes so sincere,
his stance leaning in.

 “Marco, as nice as that is to hear, you
haven’t asked me. We don’t even know each other well enough for you to know if
I even want children!”

That set him back, leveling the expression on his
face to a scowl accompanied by knit brows.

 “You don’t want children?” he asked
incredulously.

 “Marco!” she exclaimed, “I’m 37. I’ve never
really been in a serious relationship. I lost my parents when I was a teenager.
I, shit, I already feel like I have a kid with Jesús.” Alex paused to breathe.
Her voice lowered as she calmed, “And no, I don’t want children. I never have.
I know too well what it’s like to lose your parents, to be a kid growing up
without a rudder. I could never do that to someone else. Ever.”

 “Ever?” he asked as he took her into his
arms, sweetly enveloping her, “Not even
conmigo
?” he purred as he kissed
her head, “Imagine the pictures you could take, every day, a new photo of our
babies, and they’d be so beautiful, they’d be tall, with dark hair like both of
us,
y mi abuela, dios mio
, she would love them so much…” he cooed as he
held her.

Alex tried to pull away but he refused to let her
go. As nice and beautiful as it all sounded, she knew he was young and male and
the reality was, they didn’t know each other. They hadn’t talked about things,
anything really. This was crazy talk. This was the talk of a man who saw his
entire world being organized and planned by other people. And he was grasping
at whatever he could to control things, to have a stamp on his life, because
right now, he had no say. He had a team of people telling him exactly what he
would be doing, who he would be seeing, how he would be reacting… Alex knew not
to take this to heart. She was the adult. And she knew that pursuing this
conversation was pointless. She would go to her doctor that week and get on the
pill. Case closed.

At a prelight the following week, as Alex was
waiting for the set to be assembled, she sat down in the studio lounge. As soon
as she did, she wished she hadn’t. Staring up at her was the latest copy of
In
The Know
magazine with a shot of Marco and Kimberly walking arm in arm out
of a restaurant. Alex told herself not to look at it, not to pick it up. She
knew better. But jealousy prevailed over logic as she grabbed the gossip rag
and flipped open to the spread about their ‘budding relationship’ and ‘love on
camera and off.’ It wasn’t that hard of a story to sell with the amount of
photos they had. It showed the two of them together everywhere, from walking
down the street with coffee in hand, or at night clubs and a couple that looked
like they had been taken on set during their most romantic scenes.

 “Real nice.” Jesús said sarcastically as he
came up behind Alex, reading over her shoulder.

 “It’s all fake, Jesús.” Alex said icily,
more defensive than she wished.

 “You sure about that?” he asked sincerely.

Alex sighed, “I don’t know. I think so. Marco
tells me it’s all fake, but God, it’s hard to believe when it’s right here in
my face like this.”

Jesus reached over, grabbed the magazine from Alex
and threw it in the garbage. Alex knew he was just trying to protect her. She
looked up and over her shoulder at him and he just shrugged. “Jesús, if it’s
not that magazine, it’ll be others.”

 “Whatever. But you don’t need to torture
yourself.”  

Alex smiled, touched as usual by Jesús’ unwavering
support of her. “You don’t even like Marco.” She teased.

 “It’s not him I’m concerned about.” He said
flatly as he crossed his tattooed arms.

 “I’ll be ok, I promise.” Alex nodded over to
the sets, “Looks like they’re finished. Come on.” She said, grateful for the
distraction as they made their way back to set up the lighting.

As they strode over, Jesús’ cell buzzed with a
text. He stopped, and as he read it, a big grin spread out across his face. His
thumbs quickly typed their reply and he replaced the phone in his pocket. When
he looked up, still grinning, he saw Alex grinning back at him. “You and Teresa
texting each other?” Alex asked as casually as she could.

Jesús shrugged and nodded, embarrassed, like he
was somehow caught.

 “What? You don’t have to be embarrassed,
Jesús! I like Teresa, and I think it’s great that you guys are keeping in
touch.” The truth was, Alex was happy for him. Teresa was a sweet, good,
quality person. Just like her brother. Only hopefully a lot more innocent.

 “I’m trying to save up enough money to fly
her out here.” He said, and then shoved his hands in his pockets and looked
down at the floor.

 “Wow, that’s kind of a big deal, Jesús.”

 “Yeah, I know. She’s not so sure her mom
will let her come.”

 “Has she asked her yet?” Alex asked with
trepidation.

He shook his head, “Nah, I told her to wait till I
got the money together.”

 “Um, and Marco?” she asked with even more
trepidation.

He shook his head again, this time sporting a
mischievous smile, “He’s going to freak out when he hears.”

 “Jesús!” Alex reprimanded.

 “What? She’s an adult! And it’s not like he
really has a say, he’s her brother, not her father. Plus, what about him, and
you?”

 “Hey, I’m not saying I have a problem with
it. I’m just saying, he’s going to be pissed.” Alex shook her head, thinking
this would be one more thing in his life that he wouldn’t be able to control.

That week, Alex and Marco saw each other almost
every night. They alternated spending time at each other’s houses and Alex
convinced herself that only getting together at night wasn’t out of the
ordinary for most couples. But she knew the reason they could only see each
other then, and the reason they stayed at their houses, not going out. It was
where it was safest, under the cover of darkness when prying eyes wouldn’t see.
And Alex tried to shove all the publicity about him and Kimberly out of her
mind, though that was becoming more and more difficult as each morning when she
logged onto her computer and checked her various regular sites, she couldn’t help
but see one of their names or a picture of them. She knew it was all part of
the publicity machine keeping their names and images out there leading up to
the premiere. But knowing it and being comfortable with it were two totally
different things.

Alex stayed home Friday night, the night of the
premiere knowing that Marco would be walking the red carpet with Kimberly. Alex
curled up with a glass of wine, a good romance novel and read of undying love,
heaving breasts and throbbing manhoods as Annie and Ansel snored contentedly on
the rug next to the couch, and Tabitha curled up in the curve of Alex’s chest,
purring as the night wore on.

Eventually, after drinking almost the whole
bottle, Alex dragged herself to bed, all the animals dutifully following her.
Bill and Hillary were already in their spots, curled up next to each other on
top of the comforter. Tabitha took her spot spooning with Alex and Annie and
Alex went to their beds. Between the snoring and the purring, and the gentle
nudges of affection, Alex calmed, reminded of how happy her animals made her,
their unconditional love and affection ever-present. It was with those thoughts
that she drifted off to sleep.

Until her cell buzzed at 2:30am startling her
awake. After fumbling a bit, she finally answered it groggily, “Hello?”

 “Alexandra!” Marco slurred, yelling into the
phone. Alex could hear the party still going on in the background.

 “Marco? What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

 “Nothing’s wrong,
mi amor
! I just
wanted to call you and hear your voice!” he yelled, still slurring.

 “Marco, it’s 2:30 in the morning.”

 “Oh, shit, is it that late?
Desculpame,
mi amor
.” And then Marco hiccupped, followed by a loud laugh. Alex rolled
her eyes. She didn’t want to be a buzz kill on the opening night of his big
premiere, but she had a hard time finding this cute or amusing.

 “Let’s talk tomorrow, Marco, ok? Go back to
the party.”

 “But I want to see you,
Corazon
! I
want to come over tonight.”

 “Marco, you’re not driving, are you?” Alex
asked with real concern.

 “Oh,
dios
, no. The studio has a
driver for me.” He hiccupped again, and then laughed. Then Alex heard some
female voice, “Marco, come on, dance with me again!”

That was all she needed to hear. “I’ll talk with
you tomorrow, Marco. Good night.”

 “But Alexandra…”

 “Good night, Marco.” She said again, this
time hanging up.

Even the soothing tones of her slumbering animals
couldn’t lull her back to sleep. Finally around 4:30 she drifted off for a
fitful couple of hours.

The next morning, after a long run, Alex went online
to see a grinning and presumably drunk Marco with, not only his co-star, but
other actresses and models who all were at the after-party. She tried to shrug
it off, knowing he was young, this was a huge deal, a big movie and a big
opening, but it was all starting to get to her.

She was starting to believe everything she was
seeing, even though she felt like she knew the real Marco, it was hard not to
look at what was on paper, literally. That, coupled with having to sneak around
and the drunken phone call, Alex was ready to call it quits. Until her phone
rang.

Recognizing his number, her first impulse was to
ignore it. But she knew that wouldn’t solve anything, so she reluctantly
answered, “How are you feeling, Marco?”

 “I’m sorry, Alexandra.” He said in a tone
that Alex had yet to hear.

 “So you remember calling me?” she tried to
keep the edge out of her voice.

 “
Si
, and I probably shouldn’t have.”
Gone was any sense of happiness in his voice. All she heard now was regret and
embarrassment. “I just wanted to see you, to share the night with you.”

Alex paused, soaking in his sincerity. But she
wasn’t a girl in her 20s and getting a call at 2:30 from a drunken guy wasn’t
funny or cute. It was annoying and immature. “You’re right, you shouldn’t
have.”

 “Don’t be so angry, Alexandra. Let me make
it up to you.” he pleaded in his raspy, sleep-deprived voice.

 “Maybe it’s best if you just sleep it off
today, Marco.”

 “Are you punishing me?”

 “No, I’m just trying to evaluate things. It
shouldn’t be this difficult, not in the beginning at least.”

That gave Marco pause. “Ok, Alexandra. I just
wanted to be with the one person in this town who I knew, and trusted, and
thought would be happy for me and my success.” He sounded exhausted and sad.

The guilt trip hit squarely and Alex actually
winced. “I
am
happy for you, Marco. You know that. It’s just hard to
show that when you drunk-call me at 2:30 in the morning and I hear some girl
asking you to dance. Again.”

He softened, “so it’s just jealousy?” he asked
sincerely.

Alex rolled her eyes and shook her head, not that
he could see either, “that’s partly it, yes. But it’s everything else too,
Marco.” She didn’t want to get into this over the phone. “Look, neither of us
likes the phone, at least not for these types of conversations. Please, go to
sleep and call me this afternoon. Maybe we’ll get together later.”

 “Ok, Alexandra.” Was all he said before he
hung up. Alex stared at the phone, unsure what to think. It was impossible not
to wonder whether he was calling out of guilt, not just for the late night
call, but perhaps for something else? Could he have slept with someone? The
woman she heard in the background? Alex hated that she was even having these
thoughts. Would it be any different if she were dating someone who weren’t an
actor? Alex knew well enough to know that if someone were going to cheat, it
wouldn’t matter what they did for a living. The difference was, in Hollywood,
and especially with someone who looked like Marco, the opportunities were ever
present.

Alex kept herself busy at the lab, processing out
a shoot, and then running errands, taking care of all the things she had put
off. It was nearing 6pm and she still hadn’t heard from Marco. Every time the
thought of him would enter, she would do every mental trick she knew to push it
from her mind. Unfortunately, there weren’t nearly enough tricks, and her mind
kept drifting back to him. As much as she hated to admit it, as scared as she
was, and as much as his call last night pissed her off, she missed him.

The sun was setting when she finally pulled into
her driveway. Distracted as she started pulling the packages from the car, she
heard his voice behind her, “Let me help you with that,
mi amor
.” Just
hearing his voice made her entire body tingle and tense. She paused, took a
deep breath and turned around to face him. As she looked up, she was confronted
with an expression that was part anger, love, guilt and resignation. She wasn’t
sure how one person could express so much, but somehow, Marco did just that.

Alex smiled and handed him a couple packages. She
grabbed the rest and, without saying a word, led the way into the house. Once
the packages were set down, Marco pulled Alex into a tight hug and held her.
She could feel his heart beating fast, the rise and fall of his chest moving
her own. She rested her cheek on him and they stayed like that while the dogs
came up smelling them, thumping their tails wildly, Tabitha rubbed against
them, and even Ansel whined a little, wanting to get some affection as well.
But Marco kept a hold of her, slowly stroking her back, breathing in her scent,
and finally after minutes of a thundering heart, he relaxed his breathing. Alex
didn’t make a move. She knew he needed to control the pace, the situation.
Eventually Ansel and Annie flopped down on the floor beside them, resigned that
their cookies would not be forthcoming. And finally, Marco kissed the top of
her head as he released her.

Alex was awash in emotions. She actually felt
tears start to prick her eyes, which was not like her. In fact, she had been a
lot more emotional lately, which she chalked up to the roller coaster of being
with Marco. As nice and loving as this embrace felt, the see-saw of highs and
lows, of easy-going vs. drama, was starting to worry her. The intensity that
was Marco Flores wasn’t something she was used to. Not just that, she wasn’t
used to not calling the shots. In her job, she told people what to do, she was
used to directing, not being directed.

And, as nice as it was that he just came by, as
good as that attention felt, or the notion that his need to see her was so
great that he just couldn’t wait any longer, Alex was starting to realize it
was more than that. It was once again him needing to control the situation. She
had told him to sleep it off and that they’d talk later. His response was to
show up at her house. As much as she wanted to just see the romantic gesture,
she couldn’t help but see red flags too.