Broken Promises (Broken Series) (13 page)

“I can’t. Not today. Let’s just focus on Mallory today,” she suggested.

I didn’t want to push her into telling me, but I was also dying to know.

“Of course,” I said. “I’m always here if you need me, though.”

She nodded her thanks and took off into the house, presumably to fix her makeup. Why women wore makeup to a funeral, I would never understand. I opened up the screen door and walked inside. One look at Mallory and I immediately understood why they wore makeup.

She was seated on the couch, her hands in her lap. She looked up when I walked in but her face didn’t change. She was pale and didn’t have any make up on. She looked like a ghost. The black dress and tiny black veil made her blue eyes pop, the color lighting up her face a bit. But there was sadness in those pretty eyes, a sadness that reached into her soul. She might never be the same again.

“Mallory, let’s finish getting you ready,” Gabby said, pulling on Mallory’s hand.

Mal went with Gabby without a word, seemingly uncaring about how she looked. I knew this would be hard for her, but I never imagined it would crush her like this.

In the last three days, she’d spoken less than ten words to me. She didn’t answer my calls and she replied to my texts with one-word answers. She was distancing herself from me. I was angry about it, but what could I say? Joe’s death would probably be the hardest thing in her life to overcome. But she would. Eventually. She just needed time to grieve.

When Rainey reappeared in the living room, she looked no worse for the wear, and a sweetly sad smile was plastered on her face. She avoided eye contact with me and went into the kitchen to help with the food. There was going to be a reception here at the house after the funeral. I had protested that a reception Mallory couldn’t escape from was a bad idea, but I was overruled. I sighed. These women were always overruling us men.

Gabby entered the living room with Mallory trailing behind her. Mal was wearing makeup, her eyes coated in thick black mascara that made her eye lashes look extra-long. I hoped Gabby had been smart enough to use that waterproof stuff; there was no way Mallory wouldn’t cry today. I walked up to her and she looked up at me expectantly.

“You can do this,” I said. I wanted only to give her comfort but it backfired.

“Of course I can do this, Luke. I don’t have any other choice,” she said.

Her voice was unnaturally calm and not even the slightest bit emotional. As I pondered the meaning of that, she turned away and went to join the women in the kitchen. Something about her was off, but I couldn’t place it. She seemed more distant than normal, but I expected that. There was something else going on. I followed her to the kitchen.

“We need to get going,” I said to the room. The four women turned to me and I felt like a child. “It’s almost eleven,” I added.

Irene glared. Rainey rolled her eyes. Gabby sighed. Mallory didn’t do anything. She just looked at me with her baby blues void of all emotion.

“Yes, girls, let’s get going,” Irene said finally.

She gathered her purse and ushered me and the girls out of the house. She was a mother hen, but I didn’t complain. She was able to get those women out of the house when my efforts had been wasted.

Once we were in the car, the five of us settled into an awkward silence. There were no words for a day like this. No amount of compassion and apologies about her loss would console Mallory. Not that she seemed in the mood for consoling. The silence went on and on until we finally reached the only funeral home in town. There was a parking lot on either side, but we were early, so it wasn’t filled yet. After the effect Joe had on this town, I imagined both parking lots, and even the parking lot of the bank across the street would be full.

I took a deep breath before we walked inside. There was a distinct smell about the building, one I was sure lingered from the hundreds of dead people who had come and gone through this place. I led the way through the double doors and into the room to the immediate right. There was a large hall with plenty of seating for anyone who came. A single aisle lead down to the casket that was sealed closed. I wasn’t afraid, per se, but death was never easy. I made my way toward the casket and laid my hand against the cool wood.

“I’ll take care of her, Joe.”

I made my final promise. I knew he wasn’t inside; he’d been cremated the day before. But I still felt a connection to the man whom I’d looked up to for the past few years. I walked away from the casket and turned back to where Mallory stood frozen at the back of the room. Rainey motioned me toward them, a look of severe anxiety on her face.

“Mallory is refusing to go to her seat,” Rainey whispered as I approached.

I figured as much. I nodded to Rainey and took Mallory’s arm. She tried to pull back but I wouldn’t let her.

“I’m not ready for this,” she whispered harshly.

I heard the fear in her voice and saw it in her cloudy blue eyes. I tugged her gently away from the crowd of people, further back in the room.

“You don’t have to do this, Mallory. We can leave, right now. I’ll take you home and you will never have to come back here.”

I watched her consider my words. I knew a part of her wanted more than anything to do what I suggested and just skip out on the funeral. Her shoulders slumped as she weighed her options. She looked at her feet and after a full minute, came to a decision. Her shoulders went straight and her head came up. She met my eyes without a tear in sight.

She gave me a soft smile. “Dad wouldn’t have wanted me to run away,” she said. “Will you go up with me?”

“Of course,” I answered.

I hadn’t expected her to be so strong. I wanted to believe she would need my shoulder to cry on, but she proved her guts when she walked down the aisle to the casket alone. I trailed behind her, just to be certain she didn’t break down.

But she didn’t.

With her head held high, she whispered a goodbye to her father’s casket and then sat in the front row to wait for the service to begin. I sat next to her, amazed by her determination. She looked completely calm and at peace with the situation. It was only when the pastor walked up to the front of the room that I had any idea of the terror she felt inside.

She held onto my hand with an iron grip, her fingers clutching mine like a lifeline. I gave her hand a little squeeze for support.

As much as I wanted to cry, I refused. Dad wouldn’t want me to mourn him. He would want me to cherish all the moments I had with him when he was alive. Of course, that didn’t make this dreadful day any worse. I took refuge in the fact that he wasn’t inside the death box from hell.

The place was decorated nicely with an assortment of flowers, which I thought was the perfect embodiment of my dad: here today, gone tomorrow. It was ironic, really. The beautiful flowers would wilt away in the summer heat, much as my father had done in the past few years. No matter how much he’d told me he wanted me to be happy in Boston, I couldn’t help the guilt that plagued my soul. I should have been here for him. He’d suffered alone while I had been living a perfect life in the city. Well, not entirely alone. He’d had Luke.
Luke.

Luke was the one person who understood my guilt. He sat by me through the service as I held onto his hand for dear life. He was my lifeline. He made me feel strong enough to deal with the death of my father. Even though we hadn’t talked much over the past few days, we were still connected. We needed to work out some of the details of our on-again relationship.

Although
we
didn’t need to work anything out. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Luke wanted to get back together. I was the one who was fickle. As much as I adored Luke, and yes, I probably loved him, I wasn’t sure I wanted to settle for this small town. Dad’s terminal status had resigned me to spending a few months here, but now that my ties to Casper were gone, all I could think about was Boston. My roommates weren’t intrusive about my personal life like Rainey and Gabby. I loved them, but my Boston roomies didn’t dig deep into how I felt about things. Rain and Gab were two of the most infuriating women on the planet.

They hadn’t left my house since the night of the slumber party. One of them was with me at all times. They refused to leave me alone
in my time of need.
Ha! What I needed was for them to leave me in peace. I just wanted to grieve my dad without dealing with inadequate condolences and people telling me about the people they lost in their life. But Gabby and Rainey were constantly at my side, both before and after Dad’s death.

Except, of course, for the few hours I managed to slip out before he died and spend some quality time with Luke. And oh, what an amazing few hours it was. I was sixteen the first time I slept with Luke. It was the night he graduated high school. It had been beautiful and terrifying and everything I dreamed it would be, even if it were a little awkward.

Luke had learned some moves; he wasn’t shy or afraid to take what he wanted. We’d both grown up, it seemed, and sex had been a thousand times better than when we were kids. I couldn’t believe he was the same man I’d left years ago. He matured over the course of three years, but so had I. I wasn’t a naïve little girl who believed in happily ever after. My dad’s death was proof enough for me that it didn’t exist.

I clung to him at the funeral service, even though I knew I would leave him again. I couldn’t live in this town without my father, no matter how much I cared for Luke.

When the pastor began his short sermon, I expected it to be preachy, but I was pleasantly surprised. And heartbroken all the same. He started with a greeting and then went into the story of the footprints in the sand.

I wanted to cry as he recited the words of the poem I had memorized as a child. My lips moved in unison with his as he read. I felt the reality of Dad’s death and I fought to keep my composure. It was a ridiculous struggle, but I believed that tears at his funeral would make him look down on me in shame.

“When we face the most troubling times of our lives, we must remember that God has a plan for us, even if we can’t see that plan,” he said. The pastor continued on, discussing the afterlife and how we should rejoice that another of God’s children had been called home.

I didn’t see anything to rejoice over, especially not when I’d lost the last member of my family. I was completely and utterly alone. Not even thoughts of my time with Luke could console my aching heart. I wanted to crawl into a hole and just die.

When the pastor asked if anyone would like to speak a few words about my dad, Luke squeezed my hand and stood. The pastor moved away from the microphone to let him speak.

“When I met Joe Wells, I was just a punk kid who only cared about seeing how far I could get with his daughter,” he started. I blushed furiously. “But when our relationship ended, as most teen romances do, my relationship with Joe only grew. He was like a father to me, but he was also one of my closest friends. He was more than just a good man—he was an amazing person as a whole. He believed in second chances and seeking out dreams. He taught me to believe in happy endings.”

I was shocked by his speech, especially since it was the beautiful opposite of my inner thoughts. Luke returned to my side without hesitation and I grabbed for his hand again.

“Joe’s family has prepared a video slideshow of photos they would like to share,” the pastor informed us.

I wanted to demand Luke take me home, but he gave me a gentle squeeze and we watched the show together. Pictures from my childhood flashed in front of us. The photos I’d pulled out of the box in my bedroom, plus some I didn’t submit. I glanced at Luke but he kept his gaze straight ahead. A photo of Luke’s senior prom, arm draped over my shoulder while my dad made a face beside us. A picture of Dad pretending to strangle Luke caused laughter to filter throughout the crowd. My high school prom photos, the ones Luke and I had pretended to be happy in. I pushed down the lump in my throat.

When the funeral service ended, I let myself be led to the car. We were hosting a small reception at our house. It never dawned on me that I wouldn’t want to deal with so many people. The house was already crowded when Luke pulled his car in the drive. I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened the passenger door. Luke was there in an instant to help me out. I wanted to thank him but I couldn’t form the words.

The inside of my house had been transformed into a social gathering with people I was sure I’d never even met standing around eating food and chatting. It was all so
normal
, so very much like a party that I couldn’t take it. I made a beeline for my room but I was stopped by two older women wearing ridiculous hats.

“Mallory Wells, is that you?” the one with a yellow hat asked me.

I couldn’t help but notice that with her yellow hat and dress, she looked like a marshmallow Peep.

“Why, it’s been years since you’ve been back, hasn’t it? At least you came for your daddy’s funeral service,” she remarked.

I was about to punch an old woman in the face when Luke saved me.

“Ladies, is this Easter? It is customary to wear dark colors in respect for the deceased. And may I say you both look like you’re attending a party instead of a reception to mourn the dead. I’m sure Joe is up in Heaven, thankful for the two of you,” he said as he pulled me away from them and toward my bedroom.

I could imagine my dad laughing at the old biddies. It brought a smile to my face.

“Thank you,” I said once he shut the door to my bedroom and cut out the world outside.

“Anything for you, Mal,” he said.

I had him alone, and I knew I needed to be honest with him. He moved in for a hug but I pulled away.

“Luke, we need to talk,” I started.

His laughter surprised me.

“I hope it’s not the same talk we had a few days ago. I think Joe would frown upon us,” he said, jokingly.

I realized the last time I said those words to him, I’d jumped him. He wouldn’t like the outcome of
this
chat.

“No, Luke, it’s not like that. Honestly, it’s the opposite of that. I wanted to let you know that after the reading of the will next week, I’m going back to Boston,” I said in a rush.