Authors: Brenda Kennedy
I can’t say anything and I can’t imagine my
life without either of them. Just the thought of never seeing
either of them again brings tears to my eyes. I hear giggling as
James and Raelynn run down the hallway towards his bedroom. “Would
you turn the hamburger over for me?” I ask.
After a dinner of tacos with two giggling
children, I am grateful that they are able to lighten my somber
mood. Dinner is carefree and light with the kids at the table. We
have ninja cupcakes and milk for dessert. When Alec looks at his
watch, I wonder whether he needs to get home to his wife. The
thought of that make me sick to my stomach as I stand up and begin
to clear the dishes from the table.
“
I’ll be back in a few
minutes,” Alec says, and then he walks out the door.
I continue to clean up the table. I want to
look to see where he is going, but I don’t. James and Raelynn skip
down the hallway towards his bedroom. I wipe off the table and put
the food away before Alec re-enters the house.
“
Emma, let’s go for a walk,”
Alec says.
I look up and Brooke is standing beside him.
“I’ll watch the kids,” Brooke says as she walks down the hallway
towards James’ bedroom.
“
Ok.”
He reaches for my hand, and like a fool, I
take it. I always take his hand. We have been a perfect couple for
months and this has been the norm for us. We walk and we hold
hands; today is no different. We walk to the beach and he leads me
to the empty bench. The sun is low on the horizon and there is a
chill in the air; I shiver. He wraps his arm around me and asks,
“Are you cold?”
“
No,” I lie. I don’t want
him holding me. He’s married and he belongs to someone
else.
He turns to face me and with a sad smile he
says, “I am married. I should have told you before, but Emma, my
marriage isn’t like everyone else’s.”
I just look at him. I can’t speak, but I want
to. God knows there is plenty I want to say, but the lump in my
throat won’t allow me to speak.
“
I met Molly while working
at the hospital. I was doing my internship and she was an R.N. on
the medical/surgical floor. We had an immediate attraction and
started dating shortly after. She was beautiful, fun, and
smart.”
“
Alec, I’m done listening to
this.” I start to stand and he reaches for my
hand.
“
Emma, wait and listen to
the rest and you’ll understand.”
I sit down, although I want to run.
“
We dated and got married
shortly after. Life was great. After a year, we had Raelynn and my
life was right where I wanted it. A great career, a job, a
beautiful wife, and a beautiful daughter.”
“
Alec?”
“
Wait, I’m getting to the
good part. After Rae was born, Molly changed. She became irritable,
moody, she would be happy, extremely happy, and then she would be
low, so sad that she would just cry for no reason. She would call
in sick at work, or just not show up at all. It got so bad that I
would have to hire childcare for Raelynn, even when Molly was home.
I couldn’t trust my wife to care for our daughter. Do you have any
idea how that feels?”
I stare at him and shake my head. I hear what
he is saying, but I can’t believe it. He cracks his knuckles before
speaking again.
“
Molly was letting herself
go, she stopped eating, bathing, caring. I had no idea what was
wrong with her, The Molly I loved and knew was gone.” Alec cracks
his knuckles before speaking again. “Her long brown shiny hair was
matted and dirty, her flawless skin was bruised and covered in
sores, she was so thin, and I remember seeing her hip bones when
she stood up. I honestly had no idea what was wrong with her. I
thought she was sick. She refused to go to the doctors. I tried
everything to help her. I honestly did.”
He takes a deep breath and wipes a tear from
his eye before saying. “I was at work doing rounds one day when I
got called into a meeting. I walked into the conference room and
was shocked to see Molly was there with upper management. That is
when I learned that Molly was caught stealing and taking
prescription painkillers from the hospital. It wasn’t a meeting; it
was an intervention.”
“
Oh, Alec.” That is all I
can say.
“
The hospital pressed
charges. They immediately initiated a drug intervention. Molly had
to do 28 days in a drug rehabilitation and treatment center. Molly
went straight from the hospital to an in-house drug-rehab
program.”
I look at him and for the first time since we
met, I see tears in his eyes. I hold his hand and offer what little
support I can.
“
Anyway, to make a long
story short, she signed herself out of the treatment center after a
few days and has since upgraded her drug of choice from
prescription drugs to intravenous heroin, cocaine, and even crack.”
He looks at me and says, “I swear to you I haven’t seen Molly in
almost a year. She had ran off with some guy last year and I
haven’t seen her since. I went to a divorce attorney before I met
you and my divorce is going to be final in two weeks.”
“
And last
night?”
“
Last night was the first
time I saw her in ten months. Emma, I swear to you. I had no idea
she was still around. I should have told you my sad and pathetic
story from the beginning. But you are so innocent that I didn’t
want to taint you with my life.”
I look at him and I can see the pain evident
on his face. He has dark circles under his eyes and stress lines on
his forehead.
“
Baby, look at me.” I look
at him and he gives me a sad smile. “I want you to know, I will
never hurt you. Please tell me you know that.”
“
I know that. But when she
was on your bed dressed like that and she said she was your wife,
what was I supposed to do, to think?”
“
Honestly, I would have done
and believed the same thing.”
“
Where is she now?” I
ask.
“
She’s in the hospital. She
overdosed last night at the house, after you
left
.
We got into a
huge fight and she went into the restroom. I later found her on the
bathroom floor, unconscious. She still had the needle stuck in her
arm. I called her mom and dad and they met us at the
hospital.”
“
Oh, my God, I had no idea.
I am so sorry.”
“
The doctor said she’ll be
fine. As soon as she is well enough, she’ll sign herself out
against medical advice. This is my guess anyway. This is the
routine and sadly, I don’t see that changing.”
“
She’s done this
before?”
“
Many times. She is in
search of that ultimate high.”
“
Ultimate high? What do you
mean?”
“
It’s the best high of your
life or you die trying to find it.”
I shiver before saying,
“What are you going to do?” I hold his hands
in both of mine.
The ultimate
high.
I shiver again just thinking about
it.
“
Well, I have work tonight.
I’ll take Raelynn to my parents’ house and I’ll check in on Molly
throughout the night on my breaks, assuming she is still there. I
have a meeting in the morning with my attorney and will see if this
changes anything concerning my divorce.”
“
The house is in both of
your names, correct?”
“
No, it’s in my name. I’ll
offer her a large sum of money and she’ll be excited to have
it.”
“
This is what I think we
should do.”
“
I’m listening,” he
says.
“
I’ll keep Raelynn while you
work. I can drop her and James off at school on my way to work in
the morning. You go to work and don’t worry about Rae. Call me on
my cell phone after you see your attorney in the
morning.”
“
Are you sure?” he asks. “I
don’t want to put you out.”
“
Alec, I love you. You are
not putting me out; I love Raelynn and I want to help anyway I
can.”
He stands up and pulls me up with him. “God,
I love you.” He holds me close to him. We walk home holding hands,
and we decide we won’t do anything drastic until after we talk
tomorrow evening. We need to at least wait to hear what the
attorney says.
Alec
I walk in to work and the
first thing I do after getting report is to see if Molly is still
admitted. I know she should be, but I am not surprised to see that
she isn’t. I work well with the charge nurse on night shift and
text Emma in the middle of the night to check on things. It is the
first time she has kept Raelynn, and I just need to make sure
everything is all right. I am more than
surprised when she texts me back in the middle of the night.
As I knew it would be, everything is fine.
I meet with the attorney first thing in the
morning after I complete my shift. I go over with him that Molly is
back and I have no idea for how long or where she is. I still have
a court date in two weeks and unless Molly shows up to contest it,
everything will be fine. Sadly, I can’t imagine Molly staying sober
long enough to show up for court. The attorney said they will need
to attempt to get ahold of Molly to let her know about the court
date for the divorce. Although they have made many unsuccessful
attempts, they’ll need to try again.
Once I am home and showered, I text
Emma.
Alec: Hi, Baby, I’m home.
Everything went well with the attorney.
Emma: That’s good. I was beginning to
worry.
Alec: I’m sorry. It took
longer than I thought. I just showered and I’m going to lie down
until I have to get Rae from school.
Emma: I should have given
you the house key. You could have slept at my
house.
Alec: That would be nice,
but I would rather sleep there when you are there with
me.
Emma: I doubt that we would
sleep at all.
Alec: I’m sure you’re
right.
Emma: I have to go. I have a
customer. Sweet dreams. xoxo
Alec: See you soon, Baby.
x
I go to sleep, but I am startled awake by a
pair of arms wrapped around me. I jump out of bed and see that
Molly is in bed with me.
“
Jesus, Molly!” I look down
and I am forever grateful I have my boxers on.
“
What’s the matter with
you?” she asks. She is covered with a sheet to her chest, but it
looks like she is naked beneath the sheet.
“
You! That’s what the matter
with me.”
“
This is still our house and
our bed, and you are still my husband. Don’t you remember the good
times we had?”
“
Really, Molly? How long
have you been gone? You think you still have rights to me? And no,
I don’t remember the good times.” I pull out a pair of sweat pants
from my dresser and quickly put them on along with a tee
shirt.
She sits up in bed and the sheet falls to her
waist, exposing her bare breasts. I quickly look away. I grab my
wallet, phone, and car keys from the nightstand and walk towards
the bedroom door.
“
You’re leaving? I just got
back.”
“
What is it you want? The
house, everything in it, the car?”
“
Some money would be good,
for starters.” I watch her and she starts to scratch her arms; this
is a classic sign of detox. While coming off drugs, drug addicts
often complain of feeling that things are crawling on
them.
“
I’m not giving you money to
support your habit. You need help. If you want help, I’ll help
you.”
“
Screw you and your help.
How about that?”
I walk out the house and slam the door shut
behind me. I text Emma and ask her if I can go to her house for
awhile. I also tell her about the uninvited guest at my house. I
stop by her work to get the house keys from her. Brea is in there
with a Pack ’n Play set up with a sleeping baby in it and Sara is
at her desk on the phone. Emma stands as soon as she sees me and
smiles. Her smile is very welcoming.
“
Hi,” she smiles.
“
Hi, Baby, sorry about
having to come over here. I don’t have a key.”
She reaches into her desk drawer and pulls
out a single key. “Now you do. I had one made for you this
morning.”
I smile at her, take the key from her, and
pull her closer to me. “That is why I love you.”
“
Because I give you house
keys?” She giggles.
“
Well, that, too. But mostly
because you are always on top of things. You know what needs done
before I even know there’s a problem.” I kiss her and I can feel
her smile.
“
You better go, I still have
work to do.”
“
Emma, if you want to call
it a day, you can go,” Brea says, standing at the coffee maker. “As
soon as Arturo wakes up, we’ll be leaving, too. Maybe you guys can
have lunch together before you pick up the kids.”
“
Are you sure? I don’t mind
staying while you both leave.”
Sara hangs up the
phone and smiles. “Go on and enjoy the sunshine. Business is slow,
and there isn’t any need for all
of us to
stay. ”