Broken Like Glass (15 page)

The first few days at Uriah’s is hard on me.
For one thing, I don’t like being there. Not that I’m not grateful, but I’m right about people talking. For another, it feels weird. I didn’t like it last time, and now I’m staying even longer this time.

Uriah’s house is different than anyone’s on the block. It’s older too. From what I’ve gathered from talking to Mrs. Pendleton, her big old farmhouse was passed down to her through the generations.

Foaming Springs was a good ten or twenty miles away and over time, it just kinda spread in the direction of the house. Now there were a few houses around them. It still wasn’t like a regular neighborhood. Like the house I grew up in, with sidewalks and neighbors you could almost touch.

This house was enough distance from other houses it was comfortable. I love their porch. It’s big, like the movies. I’ve started going out in the evening, sitting in one of the big rocking chairs and watching the horses across the way. It’s fun to watch them run and play with each other.

They won’t let me help with nothing yet so I’m sitting out on the porch, enjoying the sun and the breeze when Mrs. Pendleton sits in the rocking chair next to me. “See anything interesting?”

I look at her and smile. “All of it’s interesting to me. I like to sit outside.”

“Me too. Uriah’s finishing up the dishes. I asked him to fix the front fence tonight. It’s bugging the daylight out of me.”

The fence she’s talking about is a white picket fence that runs in front of the house and down the sides. It’s not a tall one, maybe three or so feet tall. Just tall enough to need a gate and just short enough it doesn’t block the view.

“He likes to work with his hands.”

Mrs. Pendleton is looking out over the horizon like me. “Yeah, he does. Gets that from his daddy. I suspect here soon he’ll start his own business. He’s been working on houses in town here and there. Doing real good work. Getting calls for more work.”

“Does he regret getting out of the Army too early?”

“Nah, he was done. He was coming home to find you.”

“He told you that?” I look at her in shock.

“My boy and I talk a lot, sugar.”

Sugar, that’s what Mrs. Pendleton calls me. I don’t know why cause most people say I’m anything but sweet.

I settle back down and look back on the horizon. “He deserves better than me. I’ve told him so.”

Mrs. Pendleton stops rocking and places her hand on mine. “Look at me, sugar.”

I look at her.

“Who says you’re not good enough?”

“No one has to say it. I just know.”

“Well, you don’t know anything.”

I feel tiny. “I just know my family isn’t good.”

“Listen,” she says and starts rocking again. “Family is family. We can’t change where we come from, but we aren’t defined by them. Sugar, I’ve watched you grow up. I’ve known your momma for years. I’ve known your daddy too. I’d say you’ve turned out pretty good if you ask me.”

“I’m not sure they’d agree.”

“Well, they’d be wrong then. A daddy don’t beat his baby like your daddy beat you. You’re not the trash, sugar, you’re the flower that grew up in the midst of trash.”

I turn so she can’t see the tears in my eyes. “No one’s ever talked to me like that. Except maybe Uriah.”

“My boy’s been sweet on you for a long, long time. He’s talked about you for as long as I can remember.”

“I had a crush on him in school. All the way through.”

“You don’t remember much about being little in this town do you?”

“No, most of the bad is what fills my mind.”

“Well, let me tell you some good so maybe we can erase that bad, and fill your mind up with the good.”

“You remember things about me?”

“Oh, sugar, I sure do. You were the only little who would come in the kitchen and want to help with the potlucks. You’d ask to help and your momma would snap at you. You’d go to the corner and just boo hoo. I’d find you and get you to working on something. You’d never complain about the job either.”

“I don’t remember that, Mrs. Pendleton.”

“You were also the one to be the first to say hello to someone new.”

“I was?”

“Uriah told me that. He’d come home with a Lilly story all the time. How you’d helped someone or sat with someone who wasn’t as popular. Sugar, you were a sweet little thing.”

“I had no idea.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing you get to stay here a while then huh?” As Mrs. Pendleton finishes saying that, Uriah comes stomping out the front door and stops. There’s a big tool belt strapped around his waist.

He smiles at the two of us. “I’m gonna work on the fence now. Okay, momma?”

“Okay, honey. Make sure to get the gate too. I’m sick of that thing squeaking.”

Uriah smiles and winks at me then he trots off to the fence to work on it.

Mrs. Pendleton looks over at me and smiles. “Uriah doesn’t want you at that cabin anymore. Says it’s not safe.”

“I know, but it doesn’t feel right being here. I don’t want the town to say hateful things about you and him.”

“Sugar, you worry too much about what other people say. Let ’em talk. What goes on in this house is between me, you, Uriah, and Papa.” She gives me a pointed look.

My mouth drops open. “He’s told you about that?”

“First time you told him. He came home telling me all about it.”

“You think I’m squirrelly too?”

“Nah, I think you’re one of the few people in this town who does more than go to church.”

“I don’t go to church.”

“You can start coming with me and Uriah. Anyone says anything I’ll hit ’em with my purse,” she says and winks at me.

“You know about that?”

“Of course, it was the talk of the town for weeks. Your wild momma crackin’ someone over the head for that mean-as-a-snake man.”

“You know daddy is mean?”

“Sugar, I grew up here. Lived here all my life. I was here before your momma came to live here. I know a lot of things about a lot of stuff.”

“You know my daddy knows a lot of people then. When he gets out he’s going to come for me.” I stop rocking. The idea that my daddy can get out and come after me scares me. There’s just no better word for it.

“He knows a lot of people, but all those people he knows have been fooled by his slick tongue. I saw you right after you got to the hospital. If people see what I saw, he’ll be lucky he doesn’t get the electric chair.”

“I doubt it. He’s good at getting out of things.”

Mrs. Pendleton shakes her head. “No, sugar, not this time. This time, he’s got a reckonin’ coming. This time, he’s got to answer for his actions.”

“I wish I could be certain like you.”

“He’s brainwashed you and terrorized you since you were little. Always did make me fightin’ mad, a man like him could have a sweet thing like you.”

“I’m not all that sweet, Mrs. Pendleton.”

“You hush. I know you are. I don’t know if you remember this or not, but, one time, I caught your daddy beating the tar out of you behind the church. You were screaming your little heart out. I swooped down and grabbed you. To this day, I still don’t know why he was whooping you like that.”

“I asked daddy when he was beating on me why he hated me.”

“What’d he say?”

“He said it’s ‘cause I look like Will. He hated Will because he was trash and I was trash too.” I chew on the inside of my cheek and wipe my eyes.

Mrs. Pendleton purses her lips and shakes her head. “Worthless man. He doesn’t know how blessed he is. I lost two babies before Uriah. The last was one a girl, stillborn. I wanted a girl so bad. I wanted to braid her hair, dress her in pretty dresses, and love on her. It’s what made me so mad your momma and daddy got you. I never could understand how God could give a sweet’ems like you to them and take mine from me, but then I had Uriah.” She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her dress. “That boy is the best thing I ever had. He’s sweet and kind. Now, he’s brought me home the little I’ve loved since the first time I saw her.”

I put my hand over my mouth. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You can’t be talking about me.”

“Sugar, you were mine from the moment I saw you. I have prayed over you every day since you were little. When you left here, I prayed for God to watch over you, to love you, and to work in a way to bring you back. Uriah don’t know none of this, but I wanted you to know. I don’t want you thinking you have to leave anytime soon or that I don’t think you're good enough.”

Oh, Papa, what have you done?

Through the tears, I say, “You mean you wanted me?”

“Oh, sugar, yes. Funny thing is, Ray and I was done after one. That’s all we wanted. So, if my little girl had made it, I wouldn’t have Uriah. Now, I’ve got Uriah and you.”

I can’t believe my ears. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Nothing to say. I thought we needed to have a talk. I thought you needed to know. Now you do. I love you to pieces Lillian Louise James.” Then she reaches over and pats me on the hand. Her face is streaked with tears and she’s smiling this big smile. “It took a while, but I got everything I prayed for. Maybe not on my timing. Maybe not the way I wanted, but I got it.”

“What’s all this?” Uriah asks. I didn’t even remember he was working on the fence. He’s drenched in sweat, hair is sticking against his head and his shirt is soaked.

“Oh, nothing, just me and Lilly talking. You thirsty?” Mrs. Pendleton asks and stands.

Uriah looks between us and I can see the wheels turning. He’s wondering what’s been said. No doubt, he’ll ask as soon as he can. “I could use something.”

She smiles and walks into the house without saying anything.

Uriah sits down in the same chair she was using and looks at me, curious. “What’s with the tears? Why’s my momma crying?”

I shake my head. “That’s between us.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

“You’re really not gonna tell me are ya?”

I shake my head again.

He sits back in the chair and wipes his forehead with his hand. “It’s not fair you keeping secrets with my momma.”

About that time, the screen door knocks open and Mrs. Pendleton comes out with three glasses of water. “Something you ain’t meant to know, son.”

Uriah pops out of the chair and gives it back to his mom and she hands him a glass, then me. I take a long drink and Uriah is still looking at us both like he can’t believe we’d keep a secret from him. “That’s not fair.”

“Little about life is fair,” she says as she sits down.

Uriah drains his glass, wipes his mouth, and goes back to the fence, looking back and grumbling.

“Mrs. Pendleton?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you want me? I don’t remember coming to your house or being around you much.”

“Your momma didn’t like me. We had words about you more than a few times. I told her I didn’t like the way your daddy did things and she didn’t like my opinions.”

“You?”

“Sugar, I’m not one to hold my opinions when I see a baby being mistreated. You stayed here a few times.”

I stare at the ground, trying to think of spending time with the Pendletons. I can’t. I can’t remember any of this. “I don’t remember any of it.”

“It don’t surprise me. You had it rough. When you got older, people in this town didn’t make it easy on you. You were friends with Bo, but I think he only stuck to you ‘cause he was sweet on you. I didn’t like the look of him at all.”

“Uriah told you?”

“Uriah and I don’t keep many secrets. Now that his daddy’s gone he confides in me even more.”

“When did Mr. Pendleton pass?”

“A few years ago. We were going to bed one night, and he felt a sharp pain down his arm. Next thing I know, he was having a massive heart attack. There was nothing to be done.”

“Uriah had just signed another contract for the Army. That’s part of why he came home early. He knew I was here by myself.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nah, sugar, don’t be. Me and Ray, we had a long love affair. He was a good man. Only thing that burns me is that daddy of yours gets to live a long life and my sweet Ray didn’t. Why God lets some folks live long and others not so long baffles me at times.”

“I don’t understand Papa sometimes either.”

“I think we all feel like that at times.”

Colors begin to splash across the horizon as the sun gets lower in the sky. I feel more peace on this porch than I’ve felt…well, then I’ve ever felt. “I think some people feel it more than others.”

Mrs. Pendleton laughs. “I bet those others feel the same way.”

I chuckle, and the chuckle turns into a full on laughing fit which feels great and hurts like crazy all at the same time. Mrs. Pendleton glances at me and she starts laughing too.

Uriah steps back up on the porch, still somewhat sore we didn’t tell him what we were talking about earlier. “More secrets.”