Broken Hearts Damaged Goods (20 page)

When it grew dark a number of colored lamps were
lit, and the sailors danced merrily on the deck. The little mermaid could not help
thinking of her first rising out of the sea, when she had seen similar
festivities and joys; and she joined in the dance, poised herself in the air as
a swallow when he pursues his prey, and all present cheered her with wonder.
She had never danced so elegantly before. Her tender feet felt as if cut with
sharp knives, but she cared not for it; a sharper pang had pierced through her
heart. She knew this was the last evening she should ever see the prince, for whom
she had forsaken her kindred and her home; she had given up her beautiful
voice, and suffered unheard-of pain daily for him, while he knew nothing of it.
This was the last evening that she would breathe the same air with him, or gaze
on the starry sky and the deep sea; an eternal night, without a thought or a
dream, awaited her: she had no soul and now she could never win one. All was
joy and gayety on board ship till long after midnight; she laughed and danced
with the rest, while the thoughts of death were in her heart.

The prince kissed his beautiful bride, while she
played with his raven hair, till they went arm-in-arm to rest in the splendid
tent. Then all became still on board the ship; the helmsman, alone awake, stood
at the helm. The little mermaid leaned her white arms on the edge of the
vessel, and looked towards the east for the first blush of morning, for that
first ray of dawn that would bring her death. She saw her sisters rising out of
the flood: they were as pale as herself; but their long beautiful hair waved no
more in the wind, and had been cut off.

"We have given our hair to the witch,"
said they, "to obtain help for you, that you may not die to-night. She has
given us a knife: here it is, see it is very sharp. Before the sun rises you
must plunge it into the heart of the prince; when the warm blood falls upon
your feet they will grow together again, and form into a fish's tail, and you
will be once more a mermaid, and return to us to live out your three hundred
years before you die and change into the salt sea foam. Haste, then; he or you
must die before sunrise. Our old grandmother moans so for you, that her white
hair is falling off from sorrow, as ours fell under the witch's scissors. Kill
the prince and come back; hasten: do you not see the first red streaks in the
sky? In a few minutes the sun will rise, and you must die." And then they
sighed deeply and mournfully, and sank down beneath the waves.

The little mermaid drew back the crimson curtain of
the tent, and beheld the fair bride with her head resting on the prince's breast.
She bent down and kissed his fair brow, then looked at the sky on which the
rosy dawn grew brighter and brighter; then she glanced at the sharp knife, and
again fixed her eyes on the prince, who whispered the name of his bride in his
dreams. She was in his thoughts, and the knife trembled in the hand of the
little mermaid: then she flung it far away from her into the waves; the water
turned red where it fell, and the drops that spurted up looked like blood.

She cast one more lingering, half-fainting glance
at the prince, and then threw herself from the ship into the sea, and thought
her body was dissolving into foam. The sun rose above the waves, and his warm rays
fell on the cold foam of the little mermaid, who did not feel as if she were
dying. She saw the bright sun, and all around her floated hundreds of
transparent beautiful beings; she could see through them the white sails of the
ship, and the red clouds in the sky; their speech was melodious, but too
ethereal to be heard by mortal ears, as they were also unseen by mortal eyes.

The little mermaid perceived that she had a body
like theirs, and that she continued to rise higher and higher out of the foam.
"Where am I?" asked she, and her voice sounded ethereal, as the voice
of those who were with her; no earthly music could imitate it.

"Among the daughters of the air," answered
one of them. "A mermaid has not an immortal soul, nor can she obtain one
unless she wins the love of a human being. On the power of another hangs her
eternal destiny.  But the daughters of the air, although they do not possess an
immortal soul, can, by their good deeds, procure one for themselves. We fly to
warm countries, and cool the sultry air that destroys mankind with the
pestilence. We carry the perfume of the flowers to spread health and
restoration. After we have striven for three hundred years to all the good in
our power, we receive an immortal soul and take part in the happiness of
mankind. You, poor little mermaid, have tried with your whole heart to do as we
are doing; you have suffered and endured and raised yourself to the
spirit-world by your good deeds; and now, by striving for three hundred years
in the same way, you may obtain an immortal soul."

The little mermaid lifted her glorified eyes towards
the sun, and felt them, for the first time, filling with tears. On the ship, in
which she had left the prince, there were life and noise; she saw him and his
beautiful bride searching for her; sorrowfully they gazed at the pearly foam,
as if they knew she had thrown herself into the waves. Unseen she kissed the
forehead of his bride, and fanned the prince, and then mounted with the other
children of the air to a rosy cloud that floated through the aether.

"After three hundred years, thus shall we float
into the kingdom of heaven," said she. "And we may even get there
sooner," whispered one of her companions. "Unseen we can enter the
houses of men, where there are children, and for every day on which we find a
good child, who is the joy of his parents and deserves their love, our time of probation
is shortened. The child does not know, when we fly through the room, that we
smile with joy at his good conduct, for we can count one year less of our three
hundred years. But when we see a naughty or a wicked child, we shed tears of
sorrow, and for every tear a day is added to our time of trial!"

Dear Liselle,

This is the original version of the story that you
love so much.  I don’t have dark hair or blue eyes.  Although Brittany may have
presented herself as somebody pure when I was dating her, I knew about her past
when I was with you.

If you want any part of this story to be true for
us, you will have to accept that when it came time for me to decide which girl
that I wanted to marry that I chose the little mermaid.

I was busy preparing this story for you the morning
that you fought Brittany and walked out on me.  Despite what she might have
told you, I told her that I felt nothing for her anymore.  I don’t know why she
told you that, except that she was trying to get me back.

If you want the proper ending to this story (the
ending you’ve been wanting all of your life), meet me at the aquarium Saturday
night at 11:00 pm.

I will be waiting for you at the spot where you
found your voice and were able to tell me that you loved me.

Jack

Oct. 30, 2010

At eleven o’clock at night, I entered the aquarium
wearing the clam shell bra and fishtail bottom that Jack had left for me.  He
was standing in the very spot where I had shouted my love him.  He was dressed
like a prince, but even the royal clothes could not hide his fear that I
wouldn’t show up.  His fear faded the moment that he saw me.  Seeing his smile,
the relief on his face, and the joy that my presence had brought him would have
been enough to forgive him for everything that he didn’t do the past two days.

As I ran towards him, I started to speak, but he
stopped me by putting his finger gently to my lips and saying, “You can’t
speak.  You’ve given up your voice for a chance to be with me.”

I couldn’t help but to blush a little.  Some people
were looking at us, but I didn’t care.  I was about to get my happy ending.

“I’m sorry if I kept looking for that girl that I
thought had saved me, when it was really you.  When I started to realize that I
had feelings for you, I should have told you about it.  Instead, I made you
wonder what my true feelings were when we broke up.  This let Brittany mess
with your head and make you doubt me.  I can never really make that up to
you.”  He then got down on one knee, brought out the ring, and said, “Will you
be my girlfriend?  Not because we are pretending to be a couple, but because I
love you.”

With everything that was happening, I was
speechless.  I think my not speaking started to bother him.  He said, “You can
talk now.”

I kissed him and said, “Yes.  I will be your
girlfriend for real this time.”

He then put the ring on my finger and said, “I want
this to be a reminder of how we met and how it took me a little too long to
realize that you were the girl that I had been searching for.”

And then, with all of the things that I wanted to do
to him, I thought that it was best to go back to my place.  And although we
were starting to get pretty hot and heavy, I stopped him and said, “I’ve been
with more guys than I would care to admit.  Since this is going to be your
first time, I want it to be special.”

“You’re dressed like a mermaid, and I’m dressed like
a prince.  I would call that pretty special.”

“I want you to have the experience that I should
have had.  I know that it probably isn’t important to you, but it will be my
first time with a guy that actually cares for me.  I want it to be special.”

And he held me close, kissed me tenderly, as we
talked about all of the stupid things that we can always seem to talk about.

By

Jack Webber

S
he steps into the
bedroom like a ghost trapped forever within its own personal hell that can
never be free of that certain time and place.

Although there is sorrow
on her face, her beauty shines through.  Her stunning hazel eyes, long brown
hair, and soft pink lips invite you towards her.

And as she stands there
looking at you, the bedroom door slowly closes.  You aren’t really sure how it
happened.  You are too busy watching her disrobe and revealing her magnificent
flesh that reminds you both that you are human and that the moment you are lost
in is now.

Do you think I’m
beautiful?

You want to speak, but
words fail you.  So you walk over to her.  You start to look her in the eyes as
you play with her hair.  As she longs for an answer, you can no longer take her
gaze, which searches your soul.  You find yourself looking at her lips and
wanting to kiss her, but you know you should answer her question first.

As the smell of her
perfume fills your senses and you feel her breathing increase with the beating
of her heart as she waits for your answer, you are so entranced by her and
everything that she means to you that you try to tell her what you’ve always
thought and have left unspoken.

You pray that her
feelings for you make your confused thoughts perfect to her ears.

I’ve always thought you
were beautiful.  I just
... 
I’m sorry if I made you think that you had to do your hair, makeup, and
undress to get me to say the very things I have been thinking each morning as
you wake up next to me.

Between admitting the
thoughts you have been trying to discount for so long and her total command of
the situation as she moves in still closer to you, you become more
uncomfortable as the demons you have been trying to control for so long start
to come to the surface.

Do you love me?

It is in that moment
that you realize that you were never really afraid of loving her.  You were
terrified that you weren’t worthy of her and her affections.

It is then that you
realize that she isn’t the ghost that is trapped in its own memory.  You are. 
Hurt by love, you have refused to come towards her light and leave the life you
once knew behind and move into the Great Unknown with her.

Do you give up your
past life that no longer has use of you, or do you hold onto it with an iron
grip knowing that it has been your security blanket for so long?

As the forces of good
and evil wage a heavenly battle for your soul, you look at the woman in front
of you.  You see how she waits for your answer.  She wants nothing more than to
hear you say the words she has already said to you.  As she stands naked before
you, you realize she has only hope at that moment, as she pleads silently:

Let me love you.  I can
love you.  I will always love you.

And a voice from a distant
past whispers in your ear:

Hold on to me.  I feel
you slipping away from me.  If you let go of me, I can never come back to you. 

As you start to waiver,
that distant voice makes another attempt:

She can never love you
like I loved you.

As the small glimmer of
hope starts to fade from the woman in front of you, you find your answer.

As unworthy, broken,
and scared as I am right now, the only thing that I can be certain of is the
fact that I love you.

As her body presses up
against yours, you become aware of the warmth coming from your heart and hers. 
As it envelops you, you let go of the fear that had been holding you back.  As
she kisses you, you step fully into the light and into eternity.

––––––––

––––––––

A
bout This Novel

As a writer, I
oftentimes get an idea for my next work while I am working on one piece, or
shortly after having finished one piece.  I find that there are ideas, themes,
and other small things that I didn’t fully explore with the first piece.  I
pick these up in the new work and look at them from a different perspective or
develop them in another way.  I have always found that there are two or three
different ways a story could go.  Sometimes the path that I do not take in one
story leads me to an idea for another story.

This is the case with
Broken
Hearts Damaged Goods
.  In many ways, it is the companion piece to
Fairy
Tale Romance
.  The two are similar in that both have a man and a woman that
do not really know each other living together.

With
Fairy Tale
Romance
, I was interested in the idea of telling four different fairy tales
and intercutting them into a single narrative.  This could only exist as a film
because of the need to show that the different characters in the fairy tales
were really the same person.

Broken Hearts Damaged
Goods
originally
started out as a film as well.  I had intended it to be a poetic film with Jack
and Liselle developing their relationship in bed.  It was going to be told
primarily through their conversations in bed.

The script for this was
started sometime around 2005 or 2006.  It was only completed up to the point
where Jack and Liselle are in the shower the night of the beer pong competition
against Steve and Brittany.  It was then abandoned.  It was virtually
impossible to write a poetic film with the majority of the dialogue happening
in the bedroom.

With some time and
distance between
Fairy Tale Romance
, I decided to pick up
Broken
Hearts Damaged Goods
again, but this time as a novel.  Although it might
share some similarities with
Fairy Tale Romance
, I was more interested
in telling the story of a couple as they try to heal from their previous
relationships.

My interest was in the
idea of the cocoon, with
Cocoon
being the original title of the work.  I
wanted to see what caused the couple to go into this protective state, how they
changed once they were inside of it, and how they would have to cope with the
changes once they emerged from it.