Broken Dreams (50 page)

“Shit.”

“Wha’?”

“The road. It looks like the traffic goes on forever. Fuck!” Henry kicked the car next to him.

An intense growling came from the car. Henry swiped the snow off the window, and he and Thomas both jumped back.

“Bloody hell!” There was an entire family of undeads inside the car, pawing at the windows.

“How the…?”

“One must have been bitten, and they were trying to take them somewhere, maybe to the hospital. There’s one off the exit up a ways.”

“Do we shoot them?” Thomas nervously asked. Henry raised his gun. Four shots later, all were true dead.

Sophie heard the gunshots off in the distance. She stopped what she was doing. “Henry!” She called out. No answer. “Henry!” She yelled louder. Still no answer.

Sophie decided to follow Henry’s and Thomas’ tracks. She walked faster and faster until she ran into Thomas, his Sig aimed right at her head.

“What the fuck, Thomas?!”

“Sorry, I thought you were…”

“Yeah, I got it. Henry, what’s going on?”

“Took out a couple.” He sighed. “The traffic is backed up a ways. If we plan on continuing on this path, we’re either going to have to push through, or we’ll have to turn around.”

Sophie looked around. “Well, there really isn’t much of a choice, is there? Let’s head back to the trucks, and we can rotate pushing.” Henry nodded.

***

Henry opened the door and hopped into the truck. He threw his gloves and aviators on the dash, pulling his ball cap off before running his hands through his hair.

“How’s it look?” I asked with concern.

“Not great. A lot of traffic. We’ll have to push through.” I didn’t like the sound of that. “A couple of us will push if we can’t do it with the truck.”

“This isn’t a good idea. Someone will get hurt.”

“We will be fine. We just have to proceed cautiously.”

“Right,” I said, skeptical.

“It will be fine, Elaina. Trust me.” I laughed and he glared at me.

He put the truck in drive, and crept through the middle of the road. We barely fit, metal scraping on metal. Henry was cursing like a truck driver, and I decided that I would sit there with my hands covering my eyes. It was just easier for me that way. I felt us come to a stop.

“Thomas, I need you to hop out.” Then Henry got on the walkie talkie. “SJ, we need a push up here.”

“Copy,” she replied.

I moved my hands from my eyes. Henry jumped out and cleared the cars of undeads. When Thomas and Nick began pushing the cars off the edge of the highway, he got back into the truck.

The snow seemed to have lightened up, but it was still coming down at a steady pace. Visibility was quite bleak. Henry was impatiently drumming the steering wheel to a Calvin Harris song, while watching and waiting for Thomas and Nick to clear enough space for us to continue.

After several minutes of continuous finger drumming, I smacked Henry’s hand.

“What?” he snapped.

“You are driving me batty!”

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Finally, Thomas and Nick rushed back to the trucks. Thomas was rubbing his hands together, trying to warm them back up.

“We thought we heard some undeads, but we ain’t sure. It’s still hard to see out there.” Thomas’ teeth were chattering while he was talking.

“Thank you, Thomas,” Henry said, all business. It sounded like “Program Henry” was back for a visit. Oh, the joy. He put the truck back in drive, and slowly moved forward again.

We couldn’t have moved fifty feet before we saw them. There was an enormous herd roaming back and forth on the highway. I couldn’t see how many exactly, but there were more than I had ever seen…more than I ever
wanted
to see.

“SJ, we have company,” Henry said again, like it wasn’t a big deal. It was creepy when he used his “business” voice.

“How many?” Sophie barked back.

“Hmmm…maybe fifty? Not sure. The vehicles and snow are making it difficult to see.” When he said fifty, I felt bile roll up in my esophagus. I could see them, but just hearing the amount made me want to flee.

“I’m stopped directly behind you. I’ll hop up on top and pick them off. Wait for my cue.” I was trembling. There were so many, a few of them kept bumping into the front of the truck. They looked partially frozen.

“Copy,” Henry said to Sophie. He looked over at me. “Hey. Love, it will be okay.” He rubbed his cold hand down my cheek. “We’ve got this.” He always tried to be so reassuring, but I knew that he was just as scared as I was. “Thomas, pass me the sniper rifle.”

“HD, I’m up.”

“Copy. I’m going up, as well. You kneel, I’ll lie down.”

“Copy.” When I looked back, I saw Nick reach out the window and grab the walkie talkie from Sophie.

“Henry, no! They’re so close. They could get you while you are trying to get up there. And what about the carrier?” My words came out rapidly. I didn’t like the plan at all.

“Love, I know what I am doing. Now, roll up my window when you see me get up there. You’ll be safe in here as long as you stay put.” He rolled down the window, opened the door, and climbed up it like it was a ladder. I would have fallen on my ass.

I pulled the door shut, and rolled up the window just as an undead was trying to reach in. Thomas had his gun ready. He was breathing heavily, and I could feel his fear.

“Elaina, pick up.” Claire’s voice was shaky. I almost dropped the walkie talkie on the floor of the truck because my hands were shaking so much.

“I’m here.”

“I just wanted to say…” Static.

“Claire?”

“I’m sorry.” Claire was crying. “If we don’t get out of this, I just want to let you know how much I love you, and how much I appreciate what you and your family have done for me over the years…” She paused. “You know, since my parents died.” I fell apart. The sounds of gunfire surrounded us.

“I love you, too, Claire. You’re my sister in every sense. Nick…?”

“I’m here.” Even Nick’s voice was shaky.

“I love you, too.”

“Likewise.” I turned to Thomas.

“Thank you for all that you have done for us.” His eyes were wet. He was trying to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks so he just nodded. The gunfire continued. It seemed to be more than fifty rounds, but I wasn’t counting.

A second later, I saw Henry scramble down off the roof, but he didn’t get back into the truck. He took off toward Sophie’s truck.

“Elaina!” Claire screamed over the walkie talkie. “Sophie’s hurt!”

“I have you covered,” Thomas said as he opened his door and began shooting the undeads that were still trying to get to us. I got out of the truck. Nick came up to help Thomas hold them off. I ran as fast as I could in the snow-covered road. Henry and Claire were squatting over Sophie’s lifeless body.

“What happened?!” I yelled.

“She fell. She must have slipped.” Henry cradled her bloodied head in his arms. “Jesus, Sophie…come on! Sophie, wake up! Please…”

Claire was trying to assess her. She peeled back my mother’s fur coat and I gasped. Her body was awkwardly positioned. Her upper half was toward the right, her bottom toward the left. When I looked at Claire, she shook her head. Even if she did survive, she would be paralyzed.

Losing it, Henry held on to her tightly. “Sophie… Sophie! Damn it, Sophie! Why did I allow you to go up there? Why? I should have told you no…” Henry broke down, stroking her hair.

Claire listened for breathing and checked for a pulse. Thomas and Nick were still firing.

“Henry…” Claire whispered. Henry rocked Sophie, the tears freezing on his stubble. “Henry… She’s gone.”

“No!” He was adamant.

“Henry, we have to…”

“No!” he growled at Claire.

“She’s going to turn, Henry!” I sat, watching the scene in front of me. Henry was in such despair. He held Sophie close to his body, rocking her. “Please. We have to…”

“Go!” he barked at Claire and I. “Go, both of you! Get in the fucking trucks!” I stood up and walked backward, watching him. I heard him talking to Sophie. He got up on his knees and picked her up. I watched him carry her lifeless body to the side of the road.

By then, Nick and Thomas had stopped firing. Thomas opened the door for me. “Is she okay?” As soon as Nick said the words, we heard Henry’s gun go off. Claire strode off toward Sophie’s truck.

Henry dropped to his knees. His entire self was exposed. Every emotion poured out of him. It was like the scene when Kellan told Henry about his mother. Instead of getting in the truck, I ran to Henry. “Henry! Henry!” I grabbed him, but he wrestled me off.

“No!” he screamed at me, and immediately focused back on Sophie’s body. “I’m so sorry, Sophie. I’m so sorry. I should have protected you better. I’m so fucking sorry.” He was shaking all over. He kept telling Sophie how sorry he was, that he would find her babies, and he would make Roger pay.

I tried to grab him, and he shrugged me off of him again. “Henry… I’m so sorry.” He turned and looked at me, fire and rage in his eyes. “Henry, please. You’re scaring me.” He stood up and pushed past me.

“Get in the fucking truck!” He wiped the frozen tears off of his face. I ran to the truck. “Nick! Drive Sophie’s truck…and if you so much as put a dent in it, I will kill you.”

Nick looked back at her already battered truck: the cracked windshield, part of the grill missing, and countless amounts of scratches and dents. Nick looked at me curiously as Henry shoved past him. I scurried into Henry’s truck, along with Thomas.

Henry threw open his door and jumped in. Then he slammed the door with such intensity that I thought the window would shatter. He sat there for a moment with his head in his hands, clutching his hair. Then he screamed, “Fuck!” He punched the dash and steering wheel a few times. I didn’t know what to do for him, and I didn’t know what to say because nothing would make him feel any better.

Quietly, he sat there with his forehead pressed against the steering wheel, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. I went to take his hand. Blood was trickling out of the wounds.

“Henry…we need to take care of your hand.” I gently took it and he hissed. “I think it may be broken.” It was already swelling up. He continued to look forward, lost in thought. “Do you want me to get Claire to look at it?” He didn’t respond. I looked back at Thomas, looking for an answer. He shrugged. “Henry…?”

“Can you just wrap it up for now?” he asked in such a soft voice that it took me a moment to figure out what he had asked.

“Of course I can. Whatever you want me to do. Thomas, grab me something.” Thomas dug around for a minute, and passed me an already torn up t-shirt. I tore another section off of it and carefully wrapped Henry’s hand, trying to be as gentle and as tender as I could.

“Henry, I’m so sorry about Sophie. I know what she meant to you. I love you.”

He swallowed hard, his brilliant green eyes filling with tears again. His breaths were getting caught in his throat. It took him a minute to swallow his immense sorrow. He cleared his throat. “I love you, too. Tell Nick we’re ready.” I picked up the walkie talkie.

Henry put the truck in drive. He still hadn’t released the brake. I could feel the agony radiating off of his body. I know he didn’t want to leave Sophie there, lying in the road. I touched his arm. “She’s here with us, inside of us. You are not leaving her behind.” He nodded once. “She would want you to keep going.”

Then he took his foot off the brake and inched the truck forward, crawling over the many true deads that littered the highway.

Chapter 31

y the time we crossed the New Jersey border, the snow had let up a great deal. Surprisingly, we had made good time. Not one word was spoken in either truck. Henry turned off of the highway and began looking for a place for us to camp for the night. I couldn’t deny that I was worried.

It seemed to be an area where we could run into a lot of undeads. He turned down into a subdivision of townhomes. It looked deserted. They were a little run down, and trash was blowing around the street.

“Henry, I don’t think this is a good idea. We should try to find a home in the country or something. Too many things can go wrong in an area like this. I’m not getting a good feeling.”

“I’m going to knock on a few doors.” Before I could stop him, he dragged his sorrowful, battered body out of the truck. I sighed.

He proceeded to the first house we pulled up to. There was no response. He went to the next couple houses, also peeking in a couple of windows.

Either no one was truly alive in the neighborhood, or we were being watched. I was going with the latter because that made more sense. Henry walked back to Nick. They talked for a minute, and then he came back to Thomas and me.

“What did you find?” I tried not to have any sort of tone in my voice. I knew if I did, he would flip out.

“That one’s empty, like the people moved out. So we are going to camp there. Nick and I are going inside to clear it first, just in case.”

“Be careful.” He forced a slight smile and touched my hand. He pulled out his Sig. “Thomas, keep watch over the girls.”

“I will.”

“Thank you.” Thomas jumped out, and looked around like his head was on a swivel. Henry and Nick stalked off. I watched him pick the door locks, while Nick looked through the windows. Henry opened the door, and they went inside.

When they finally emerged a short time later, I was getting antsy. Henry jumped in the truck and pulled up in the driveway. When he shut it off, he said, “It’s not a palace, but it will keep us dry for the night.”

“As long as we’re safe.”

“As long as I am around, you will be safe. Don’t you worry about that. I want to unload the trucks, though.” That seemed like a daunting task. I sighed. “There may be looters around. We can’t risk losing everything we have.”

We got out and went to the back of the truck. Claire waved me over so I walked to her, keeping my eye on Henry.

“How’s he doing?” she asked quietly, looking around.

“I…I don’t know. He’s not really talking. He went nuts when he got into the truck afterwards. I think he may have broken his hand. It’s really swollen.”

“Nick said he saw his hand bandaged, but he wasn’t sure why. I’ll look at it when we get unloaded.”

“Thanks.”

Claire smiled at me and handed me Sophie’s pack. I hesitantly took it. “Put this in a safe place…for Henry.” I put it on my back. It was as safe there as it would be anywhere else. Claire smiled at me again.

I looked at the mound of supplies. Everything was haphazardly thrown in the trucks when we left, trying to escape the bombing. The thought of the bombings made me cringe. I really hoped my family home was unharmed but, deep down in the recesses of my mind, I knew that it was probably gone.

Luckily, we hadn’t heard anything as the night began to swallow us. I think it was safe to assume they stopped for the time being. I grabbed a box of supplies and headed into the empty townhome.

***

“Alright, let me take a peek at that hand of yours.”

Henry leaned against the side of Sophie’s truck while Claire untied the scrap of fabric. She held his hand with both of hers, and pushed down on the back of his hand with her thumbs. He hissed. She looked up at his face, but he had turned away.

“I’d imagine that it’s broken. I would like to put some antibiotic cream on the cuts. I am thinking you might need a course of anti-inflammatories, as well.”

“No pain meds,” he mumbled, still looking away from her.

“It hurts, yes?”

“Of course it does.”

“Then…why not?” She was confused by his refusal.

He turned and looked at her. “The pain… It makes me feel alive.” His voice cracked. “I need to know I’m still alive.” That broke Claire’s heart.

“Henry…it’s not just for pain. It helps with the inflammation.” He looked down at her hands. She still held his, gently stroking it. His brilliant, but sad, eyes bore through her. Even though he had exploded on a few occasions in front of her, that was the first time she could actually feel his pain. She reached up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He was a little surprised by the embrace, but he accepted it. “I’m so sorry, Henry. I’m so sorry for all that you have gone through.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, as a tear trickled down his face.

“Let me get the cream, and then I’ll wrap it back up.” Henry nodded. She turned around and walked back to his truck, wiping the tears away from her eyes.

***

I walked upstairs. All the bedrooms were about the same size as the one in my apartment. I laid out a few blankets and pillows on the floor for Henry and me.

“Hey. Can I come in?” Claire was standing in the doorway, looking defeated.

“Sure. Are you alright?” She looked as if she had been crying.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t want to talk about it right now. Anyway, I think we should try reorganizing and repacking everything to be more efficient.”

“Yeah, good idea.” I rubbed my arms, thinking of how heavy some of the boxes were. “I think we should eat first, though. Henry wants to find gas, as well.”

“Right,” she said. Something was off, but I would get it out of her eventually.

We both jogged down the stairs as Henry was rummaging through boxes looking for food. My stomach was more than ready. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I saw that box of granola bars. Not that they were something amazing, but it was better than nothing.

“Here, love…” He looked at the box. “S’mores?” he said, questioningly, as he handed me two granola bars. “What’s that?” Claire sat down on a box and fell apart.

Nick squatted down beside her, and took her hands into his. “Babe…talk to me.” Nick rubbed her thighs.

“We had a conversation about s’mores with Sophie when we went to get supplies from Henry’s apartment. At the time, it was a meaningless conversation.” The sound of her name made Henry clench his jaw. Nick reached out and held onto Claire.

Thomas grabbed a bottle of vodka out of one of the boxes, passing it right over to Henry. He removed the cap and lifted the bottle a little. “To Sophie,” he said quietly, before taking a long pull from it. He passed the bottle around, and we all followed suit. When the bottle made it back to Thomas, he nearly put it to his lips when Claire grabbed it from him.

“You aren’t old enough.”

“What does it matter? There ain’t no laws.”

“Maybe not, but I won’t condone drinking at your age, law or no law.” Claire seemed to forget all the parties we went to in high school, but I wasn’t going to bring it up.

“I agree, mate…” Henry said. “Not until you are at least fifteen.”

We all looked at each other and had a good laugh. We needed it. It had been tense between all of us since Sophie’s passing. Thomas sat down on the floor and pouted while he watched us pass the bottle, bypassing him several times.

Henry said, “You know, the first time I got to actually converse with Sophie, she was, quite frankly, off her rocker.” Henry looked down at his boots, while he pushed around the matted, stained carpeting. “The innocence in her pale blue eyes is what drew me to her.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear about his feelings for her because I felt like he was talking about a lost love. I suppose, in a way, he was.

“She was the only girl recruit in our grouping. I felt the need to step up and keep an eye on her. Roger tried to hurt her the first time he laid eyes on her so I had to step up. I won’t tolerate seeing a woman abused after what I saw with my mum.” He took a deep breath. “I hope she knew how much I cared for her, and how much I wanted to help her, even when she was strong. We had a common thread…her pain ran as deep as mine.” He cleared his throat, trying to hold it together.

“Elaina, I know you guys didn’t get off on the right foot, but she was really happy for us. She confessed that she still loved me and hoped that we would have gotten back together, but she knew how much I loved you,” he finished, pausing to look at me. It was a long pause, and I felt the need to say something.

“She told me something like that.” I remembered back to our conversation when she said that Henry never loved her as much as he does me.

“It’s going to be hard for me to move forward without her. Later on, I have some things that I need to take care of for her.” He continued to take sip after sip out of the bottle. I knew “Drunk Henry” was just around the corner. I got up and put my hand on the bottle as he put it to his lips again.

“I’m kind of tired. You want to go to bed? It’s pretty late.” I had to stop the train wreck that was about to happen. His drinking was worrying me. I slowly pulled the bottle out of his hands and capped it.

“Yeah. I guess.” I grabbed his good hand, and led him up to the bedroom. I shut the door, sealing his sorrow in with us. The moon lit the room just enough for me to see Henry’s face. I reached up and stroked his tear-moistened cheeks with my hands.

“What did Claire say about your hand?”

“Probably broken.” Henry paused, and then added in a whisper, “You know, I couldn’t do this without you.”

As I put my arms around his neck, he put his arms around my waist. We swayed a little, as if there were soft music playing around us. He pulled me in tight and rested his forehead against mine. Then he confessed, “If I didn’t have you, I would have put a bullet in my head right next to her.”

Like a flash, I stepped back. “Henry! Don’t say shit like that!”

“What would I have to live for?”

“The cause!”

“Trying to stop this madness?” He laughed. “I’m doubtful I’m the man for the job.”

“No! You
can
do this.
We
can do this. I have faith that we can.” He shook his head. “Henry, without you, we would be all dead.”

“Without me, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Don’t do this to yourself again. This is not your fault. You have got to stop blaming yourself for what Roger did.” A look of disgust ran across his face when I said Roger’s name. “This would have happened with or without you. You were an innocent boy. He took advantage of you.” By then, he had let go of me and was running his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth. “You cannot change what happened, but you
can
change the outcome.”

“My outcome will never fucking change! Why do you not understand that?! And why do you have so much fucking faith in me?!”

“Lower your voice! And don’t you dare get angry with me! I am trying to help you!” I snapped. “And I do understand your personal outcome will never change! Why would you think that I don’t get it?” I stepped closer to him. I poked him in the chest with my finger. “Against all the odds, you are a decent man. I know I have had my share of doubts, but some good has come out of this situation.”

“What the hell could that possibly be, Elaina?”

“You know how to fight this! He never bet on you going rouge. He always thought you would be too terrified because of everything he put you through. He believed he had you trapped. But you have risen up. You have taken control of your own self as much as you can. He no longer owns you, Henry. You are your own man, not his anymore. You can control your own destiny now.”

“I depended on Sophie to help me. She has been…was an important role in fighting this. Now it’s just me who is trained, and I have to keep all of you safe. And I have to fight Gunther alone. I’m not sure I’ll make it through that on my own. He’s so much stronger than me, as you know.” I thought of how Kellan ravaged his body, then thought about Gunther kicking his ass at the bar.

“You don’t have to do it alone! You have me, Claire, Nick, and Thomas! We may be a little bit like riff raff, but I think we have done relatively well…considering the circumstances.”

“You don’t have the training, the power.”

“Then teach us. Train us. I will always fight next to you, no matter what. I would die for you, as you would for me.”

“Elaina, I have already put you in too many bad spots. I can’t do that. I can’t burden you.”

“Why?” I put my hands on my hips. “You don’t think we can do it? You don’t think we have it in us? Are we not worthy of the big fucking training secrets?”

“I can’t. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I
can’t
have anything happen to you.” His voice cracked more than once. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“What would happen if we lost you? You would be leaving us high and dry. We need you to lead us.” I could see him rolling these words in his head, over and over again. He knew I was right, but he would never admit to it. “At least train Nick, for fuck’s sake.”

“He doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me, let alone train for a mission he didn’t ask for.” He turned around and stared out the window. “I screwed him over, Elaina.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

He spun around to face me. “When is something going to be my fucking fault?! I’m the cause of some of this insanity around us! Why do you not understand that?! If I wasn’t such an asshole kid…”

“You weren’t the beginning of this! You are just a part of it. And you will be the one who ends it!”

“As long as I’m half alive, it will never end.” He walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

“Shit…” I said to myself. I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I knew what he was going to do. “So what are you going to do, Henry? Drink yourself into oblivion? You think that’s the answer? You think the answer is at the bottom of that bottle?” He unscrewed the cap of vodka and took a long pull.

“No! But it’ll numb me until I fucking find it!” Again, he took another drink from the bottle he was clutching.

“The only thing you will find at the bottom of that bottle is sickness! What if something happens in the middle of the night tonight and you’re knocked out cold?”