Broken Dreams (26 page)

“Stop talking like that. You need to sleep off some of that whiskey. Let me know what happens.”

“Okay.” There was another long, heavy silence.

“Henry?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Sophie’s love for him went far deeper than just a friend.

“I love you, too.” He hit the END CALL button, and laid the phone on his chest. The whiskey wrapped around his brain, and he passed out.

***

The alarm on his phone scared the shit out of him the next morning. The whiskey had a death grip on his brain, squeezing it so hard that he thought it was going to be crushed.

“Damn…” He rubbed his head. He was slow to sit up, working up the courage to open his eyes. Once he was able to do that, he took his time to stand up. “Fuuuuck.” He rubbed his sandpaper-lidded eyes, tripped over the ottoman again, and just about took out his closet door.

Henry stripped naked and headed to the shower. He stepped into the spray without waiting for it to warm up.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he yelled. His spine jacked straight up, and his muscles contracted. Hello, instant sobriety. He shivered all over and, finally, the water went hot.

He grabbed his shampoo and made a quick job of that. He reached for his body soap, and realized he had forgotten to get a washcloth and a towel. He squeezed some into his hands and rubbed them together. He started with his face and worked his way down. As his hands ran across his relaxed flesh between his legs, it jumped to life.

“No…shit. Bloody hell!” He stood there for a minute, trying to think of everything repulsive and ugly that he had ever seen. Didn’t work. “Fuck me.” He washed down to his toes, trying to keep his mind off the rock hard pole that was mocking him between his legs.

He sighed and decided to just get it over with. He closed his eyes and pictured Elaina’s beautiful, long, straight black hair running over his body like a silky curtain. He groaned and palmed himself. He worked it slow, running his palm up and down his shaft, making sure that he squeezed his tip hard every time. He visualized her taking him into her mouth. As she ran her hands over his thickness, she sucked the life out of him.

“Fuuuck.” He stroked faster. He leaned up against the light blue glass tile wall, pressing the side of his face into it. He swallowed hard and his lips parted. In his mind’s eye, she was naked and kneeling below him, much like the first morning that they woke up together.

“Oh, god…” He stroked harder. He groaned so loud, it was like a quake in his chest. Elaina mouthed,
Come on me, lover.
Henry moaned and cried out her name. He exploded all over her neck, chest, and stomach.

He stood there, pressed against the tile with his eyes closed, while he continued the slow palming of himself, milking himself dry. When his panting finally subsided, he still didn’t want to open his eyes. He knew if he did, Elaina wouldn’t be there.

“Get a grip, mate,” he said out loud. He opened his eyes and saw that he had come all over the shower wall. “Perfect.”

Once he cleaned up, he got out of the shower and brushed his teeth. He thought about shaving, but didn’t feel like it. He dressed in a button-down, checked Burberry shirt and a pair of dark, distressed, straight leg True Religion jeans. He quickly slipped on his Varvatos dark gray Schooners, checked his mug in the mirror, adjusting his purposely messy hair. He stared at himself in disgust for a few seconds, then stormed out of his room.

While he drove through the streets like a maniac, Henry hoped the flowers were delivered and the letter would work. A song from Bruno Mars started to play on the radio.

“Fuck me.” He shut it off. He knew any song would remind him of Elaina. He was feeling self-conscious of the letter he wrote. It wasn’t worthy of his Elaina. A letter from the queen, herself, wouldn’t be worthy of his Elaina. She was more to him than what he had written, but he had no idea how to put it on paper.

He walked through the doors of the blood bank and saw that there were several people already waiting. He cringed, knowing he was going to have to exchange pleasantries with them, and he was not in the mood to do that. He stopped at Jennifer’s desk.

“You look like shit. How are you this morning?”

“Thanks. Slightly hung over and worried out of my mind.” Henry leaned against the desk. “I drank myself into oblivion at Cam’s last night.” He paused for a moment, then looked her in the eyes. “Jennifer, I might snap if the flowers don’t work.”

“I guess you’ll find out. She’s a lucky woman. I hope she realizes that, but I do have a good feeling that she will come back.” He gave her a sad smile. He wasn’t going to hold his breath waiting for Elaina, though, because he wasn’t expecting the flowers to work.

“Any calls?”

“Actually, not yet. But we could use some help. Steve is backed up already, and Sandy is off today.” She waved her hand toward the seating area. He cranked his head around and looked at the people waiting.

“Right. Let him know I’ll be right there.”

He walked back to his office, dropped his laptop case on his desk, and grabbed his lab coat off the back of the bathroom door. He walked around the back, through the lab area and toward the draw room. He went straight to the sink and washed up.

“I know you’re busy, bossman, but we’re backed up.”

“Yeah. I’m on it.” Henry sighed. “Uh, listen, I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I’m dealing with some personal shit. I shouldn’t let it affect me here.”

“That’s alright. We all get a little jacked-up once in a while. Don’t sweat it.” Henry smirked. “Anyway, that’s the pile of the ones waiting.” Steve pointed to the charts.

Henry grabbed the one on top, and headed out to the waiting room. He called out the first name on the chart and a middle-aged, well-dressed woman sauntered her way toward him. Shit, here we go again, he thought. For some reason, women always threw themselves at him. He never understood it.

“Well, hello, Mr. Phlebotomist,” she purred. “I think I’m going to come here more often,” she said, as she looked him up and down. Henry’s face was blank when he looked at her.

“Name and birth date.” He had no emotion in his voice. She looked at his left hand for any signs of a ring.

“Dina Emerson, and you know it’s not polite to ask a lady’s age.”

His first thought? Cougar.

“Ms. Emerson, I need your birth date to verify that I have the correct chart.” He was all business.

“Oh, fine. 7/12/60.”

“Thank you. Follow me.” He shuddered. He could feel her eyes working their way up and down his backside.

“You know…that lab coat does nothing for you.” And there it was.

“Exactly why I wear it, Ms. Emerson.” They walked into the draw room, and Henry pointed to the chair that was waiting for her. “Have a seat there, please, and remove your jacket.” He was annoyed. He didn’t want someone old enough to be his mom trying to flirt with him, especially when he only had eyes for Elaina.

He walked over to the supply cabinets and accidentally hit an open container of iodine. It fell over, spilling all over his coat. “Shit.” He was gripping on to the side of the sink, feeling like he was close to putting his fist through the wall.

“Whoa, there. Here.” Steve handed him a bunch of paper towels. “You alright, bossman?” He could see the steam rolling out of Henry’s ears. He took a few deep breaths.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just stressed beyond belief.” He peeled off the lab coat, realizing the iodine had drenched his shirt, too. He groaned.

“You have a change of clothes in your office? If not, I have an extra set of scrubs in mine.”

Henry let out a loud breath, and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I think so. I think I have a t-shirt, at the very least. I’ll be right back.” He ran out of the draw room, back to his office.

He ran into his bathroom, and pulled the white t-shirt off the back of the door. He realized it was just a white fitted undershirt. “Christ,” he said in a whiny voice. There was nothing else he could do. His shirt was stained and stunk like iodine. After changing, he went back to the draw room, pulling out everything he needed to do a draw on the Cougar.

“Damn, bossman. I see you’re still spending all of your free time at the gym.”

“Yeah, and maybe more if Elaina doesn’t take me back.”

“Ohhhh, I see. That bad?”

“I don’t know. I sent her flowers. It’s going to eat me alive until I get a response from her. If I get a response from her,” he mumbled. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He looked at the number, hoping it was Elaina, but it was Roger. He felt like he was punched in the chest. He groaned again. He hit the IGNORE button, and went over to the Cougar. It was starting off to be a shitastic day.

“Wow.” She quirked a brow at him. “Looks like you took my advice.” Henry sighed while she tried to make herself look seductive.

“I spilled some iodine on my coat and shirt.”

“Flustered?” She adjusted her button-down top a little to show her cleavage.

“Nope,” he lied, but he felt he needed to shut her down.

“Oh.”

Henry put the supplies down on the table, and sat down on the swivel stool. He turned away from the Cougar to put on gloves, and opened the packages.

“Wow. That’s a nice tattoo.”

“Huh?”

“Your tattoo. It looks nice, from what I can see.” He looked down at his shirt and remembered what he had on.

“Right. Thanks.” He began hooking up the machine. “Ms. Emerson, are you ready?”

“Yes. This isn’t my first rodeo.” Henry hooked her up, and had the machine running in record time. His skin was crawling, knowing that the Cougar was eyeing him like a piece of meat.

He stepped around the curtain while peeling off his gloves. Elaina? He felt her. He looked up, and there she was, standing in the doorway, looking like a wreck. She looked just like he felt. He didn’t spare another second and ran to her.

-November 2014-

The door opened to the guest room. He looked up, hoping that it was Elaina. The sobs tore from his throat when he saw that it was Sophie.

She sat down on the floor next to Henry and tried to comfort him. He was holding Elaina’s ring between his fingers and he was destroyed, thinking he had lost the love of his life. Sophie held him, while the endless sobbing tore through his body.

“Shhh...it’s going to be alright. I’m here for you.” She inwardly smiled. She hoped Henry would fall back into her arms. Then she could take him back to the program as originally planned.

“I can’t live without her.”

“Yes, you can. You will be able to move forward.”

“I can’t, Sophie. I fucking can’t! I’m lost without her.” He pulled away from her. “She’s the only thing that makes me feel good.” His voice was riddled with sobs. “And I couldn’t deal with seeing her move on. I can’t fucking do this!” He sat with his head in his hands. His heart ached for Elaina. He felt alone and confused without her by his side. If she moved on without him, he would surely pull the trigger.

Sophie moved away from him to let him be for a few minutes so he could try to collect himself. His sobs jarred his body. Eventually, the tears stopped flowing, but his breathing was still staggered, making his body shake. She sat down beside him again, and tried to talk to him. “Well, what do we do now?” She reached over and ran her fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know. She does deserve to know the truth about us. At least about me.”

“She does, but we can’t. You know that. It will compromise everything.”

Henry shoved her hands away from him. “I don’t give a shit about compromising anything! The only fucking thing I care about is her!” He shouted at Sophie. “You know that I’m no longer continuing with the program. At this point, it’s all about survival.” His eyes began swimming again. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep his tears in his eyes, but his efforts were unsuccessful. “I cannot lose her. She’s the only thing that keeps me sane in this whole fucked up life of mine.” Henry jumped up and punched a hole in the wall. He yelled, “Damn you, Roger!”

Sophie jumped up. She grabbed him by the arm and tugged him over toward the bed. He sat down and put his face in his hands again. Sophie sat down and held him, while she gently stroked his hair as he cried some more.

“I know, Henry. I don’t want you to lose her, either. She’s a piece of work sometimes, but I do know you love her. As long as you have love, there’s hope.”

“Hope?” Henry threw his arms up in the air and hysterically laughed. “Hope? In this fucked up mess?” He shook his head. “I’m trying to hang on to hope, but it’s dwindling.”

“I know.”

Sophie laid Henry back on the bed so they were facing each other. She held him for a few minutes, much like she used to when he was so injured from a beating that he couldn’t move. She stroked his hair, touched his face, and ran her fingers up and down his arm until he settled down enough to talk in a calmer manner.

“I’m going to need to go back out soon. I wasn’t able to get my fix, and I’m feeling it.” Just then, he noticed her eyes were graying. He was too busy trying to hold himself together and worrying about how to get Elaina back to notice Sophie’s problems.

“What happened, anyway? How did Jacob get you?”

“He took me by surprise. I saw him come out of the building. I hid so I could sneak up on him. I figured I would cold cock him from behind, or just cut off his air supply to make him pass out, and then do a quick draw. I tried to reach into my vest for my needle to be ready. Believe it or not, the zipper was stuck and I couldn’t reach down far enough to grab it. I lost track of him. He came from behind, put me in a headlock, and covered my mouth with his hand. I raised my leg to kick him in the bollocks with my heel, but he grabbed my Sig out of the back of my pants.”