Broken (13 page)

Ussay put the tray down and curtsied. “Forgive me, my lady. I will give her mine.” She slipped her shoes off and put them over near the hem of Kira’s dress.

“Mara, please don’t be angry with Ussay. She offered her shoes several times and I refused. She even took me to the cobbler, but he didn’t have anything that would fit me. It isn’t her fault.” Kira pushed the shoes toward Ussay. “They are too big anyway and will make it difficult for me to walk. I go barefoot all the time at home.”

Ussay stood there watching Mara’s expression, waiting to hear her next command.

Mara eyed the shoes and Kira’s bare feet. “Very well, then. Take your shoes, Ussay.” Then she kicked off one of hers. “Perhaps mine would be a better fit. We cannot take the chance of you cutting your foot again in a castle filled with Royals.”

Ussay slipped her shoes back on. “Oh, no, my lady. You must not offer your own shoes. I will find some for her.”

“Nonsense. I have plenty of shoes.”

Kira reached down to pick up the shoe, but Ussay grabbed it and knelt in front of her.

“Allow me, my lady.” She took Kira’s foot and settled it into the shoe—a perfect fit.

“There,” Mara said. “Ussay, go to my dressing chambers and pick out a pair of shoes for Kira. Make sure they are comfortable.” She waved her hand in the air to dismiss her.

“Mara, I couldn’t,” Kira said.

“My dear, I have more than enough shoes for one woman. The cobbler seems to think if he brings me a pair before each moon phase I will not eat him.” She laughed. “I do not have the heart to tell him my craving for the flesh of a commoner left me years ago.”

Kira wasn’t sure what to say. Hearing her talk about brutality in such a cavalier manner struck her as beyond strange and made Kira very uncomfortable. She didn’t know if she could ever get used to it.

“I am sorry dear. I forgot my manners.” As she poured them both a cup of tea and nibbled on one of the cookies, Kira glanced at their surroundings. A major case of Déjà Vu struck her as the memories Lydia shared with her the night of her attack flashed through her head. They sat near the same fountain where Lydia’s mother struck her head and died. It made Kira very uneasy.

“So, when are you due,” Kira asked, trying to shake the bloody image from her mind.

“Pardon me, dear?”

“The baby, when are you due?”

“I am not sure I understand your question.” She seemed irritated with Kira for not speaking more clearly.

“When will the baby be born?”

“Oh, that is up to the child. When he is ready, he will certainly let us know.” She rubbed her stomach. “I am hopeful it will be soon. He is getting too big.”

“You know it’s a boy?”

Mara nodded. “It is my gift. I can sense a woman’s womb, feel the child growing within and this is going to be a strong boy.” She jumped. “And he can kick as well.”

Kira’s back hurt from forcing herself to sit straight. When Ussay came through the doors with an armful of shoes, relief washed over her. Maybe she could slouch while everyone focused on her feet.

“Ussay, what have you done? And why did you bring so many shoes? Honestly, girl. Can you make a decision on your own?”

“Forgive me, my lady. I thought perhaps Kira would like to choose.” She quickly arranged the shoes in front of her. “I will take them back if you like.”

Mara considered the selection Ussay displayed. “No, that is fine. You were right. It should be her choice.”

Well, finally
. Mara paid Ussay a compliment. Kira’s first impression of Luka’s mother wasn’t a good one. If this is how a woman of royalty acts, Kira would never fit in. She tried to imagine herself as the wife of a prince, strutting around the castle in a pair of blue jeans and sneakers. The image made her snicker.

Kira pointed out the pair that looked the most comfortable, a simple tan slipper with flowers embroidered on the top. Mara seemed to approve. Ussay gathered the rest and started for the door, but Mara called her back.

“Ussay, have you changed the linens in Kira’s room?”

“Not yet, my lady. I will do it immediately.” Then she curtsied.

“Actually,” Kira interrupted. “Is there another room I can stay in?”

Mara looked confused. “Is Octavion’s chambers not to your liking, dear?”

“It’s perfect. I just don’t want to put Octavion out. If you have a smaller room, maybe in the servants quarters? I’m pretty easy to please.”

Kira caught the look on Ussay’s face out of the corner of her eye. Her mouth hung open again.

“Nonsense, my dear. We would not dream of putting you in such a place.” Mara paused for a moment. “Ussay, prepare Lyd—the room next to Arela’s. Kira will be quite comfortable there and she will enjoy the morning sun.”

Lydia’s room?

If that’s what she’d meant to say, Kira wanted to see it. Maybe she’d feel closer to her there. If nothing else, the familiar surroundings might put Altaria at ease. “Are you sure? I don't want to intrude . . .”

“It will be no intrusion.” She smiled and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her stomach again. “I do have to warn you, however. You will be next door to my daughter, Arela, and she can be a pest.”

“I’m sure she isn’t that bad. Besides, I love kids.”

Ussay stifled a giggle.

“You do not know my daughter.” Mara put her hand out and patted Kira’s. “I must take a nap now, dear. The little one is complaining.” She stood and turned her back to her, then barked a command to Ussay. “You
will
see the linens are clean in Kira’s new room?” Then she disappeared. Ussay’s face blurred until Mara's wake drifted into a nearby bush.

Kira rolled her eyes. “She’s fun,” she said sarcastically.

Ussay curtsied. “I will prepare your room, my lady. I apologize for my rudeness, I forgot my place. If you would be so kind as to follow me, I will show you to your room.”

At first Kira thought she was teasing—being sarcastic—but then she caught the glimmer of a small tear in the corner of one eye. “Ussay, did I say something wrong?” Kira stood and went to her.

“No, it is me. I forgot you will be royalty and I should treat you as such.”

So that was it. “Ussay, you’re my friend. I understand if you need to treat me differently when someone else is around because this is your job. I don’t want to jeopardize that, but when it’s only us, we’re friends.” Kira put her hand on Ussay’s shoulder. “And I’m
not
royalty.”

Ussay smiled. “You are to me.”

“Now, where’s my new room.” Kira was actually excited to see it. She’d visualized Lydia’s room in her head ever since she’d shared her memories of the grand ball. She knew it would be strange without her there to show her everything, but she missed Lydia. Maybe seeing where she grew up would help Kira cope with the loss.

The girls slowly climbed the staircase, stopping once to rest Kira’s shaky legs. Ussay offered to have Luka carry her, but she didn’t want to give him another opportunity to give her a hard time about injuring him. Besides, she needed to rebuild the strength in her legs. When they reached the top of the stairs they turned and went down a long hallway, stopping in front of the first in a series of wooden doors.

“Where is the room I stayed in before?”

Ussay pointed behind them. On the other side of the staircase, another set of stairs led upward. “Octavion’s rooms are there. He has the entire wing to himself.” She struggled to open the latch on the door while balancing an armful of shoes.

“Why don’t you get rid of those? I can do this.” Kira put her hand on the latch and pushed the door open. She was so taken aback by what she saw she didn’t hear Ussay’s response, only her footsteps echoing in the hallway as she walked away.

She put her hand to her heart as a dull ache threatened to squeeze the blood right out of it. Tears filled her eyes and she thought her knees might buckle and send her crashing to the floor.

“Oh, Al . . . it’s beautiful.”

She stepped inside and leaned against the wall for support. The entire room was Lydia . . . no, it was Altaria. She could easily imagine both kindred spirits happily coexisting in this space.

In the center of the room, with no wall or headboard against any part of it, stood a huge four-poster bed. All the linens were white, even the overstuffed pillows that filled almost half the bed. White gauze-like fabric, delicately embroidered with pink and lavender roses, hung between the posts and were swooped to each corner by narrow green ribbons.

Two very large windows flanked French doors that opened onto a balcony. A built-in seat nestled below each window, their cushions of white topped with lavender and pink pillows. Curtains made of a thicker tapestry material with similar embroidery hung from the ceiling and puddled on the floor.

Kira pushed away from the wall and stepped to the bed. She reached up and let the green satin ribbon run through her fingers, then turned to get a better view of the rest of the room. She slowly lowered herself to a small bench at the foot of the bed. All around the perimeter of the room were bits and pieces of Lydia and Altaria—ribbons and bows neatly arranged on the top of a dressing table, colored bottles adorning the back of three dressers and a full length mirror in the corner near one of the windows. On either side of the door stood built-in book cases, like in Octavion’s room, but these held bolts of fabric, rolls of ribbon and several ceramic vases. The books, though not as many, were all neatly arranged in order of size. On one shelf there were tiny figurines of young women adorned in beautiful gowns with hems swirling up as if they were dancing.

Kira thought being here would bring her peace, perhaps even closure, but she’d been wrong. It only brought the memory of Lydia closer to her heart, causing real pain. It was almost as if she were there, calling out to her as before, but there were no words echoing in her mind, only the constant throb of loneliness in her chest.

Altaria.

She would never again feel smooth fabric between her fingers or look at her beautiful face in a mirror. She’d never hold a sword in her hand or speak her mind. Her thoughts would forever be locked in a body that wasn’t hers. Kira wondered how much longer she’d feel her presence or if she’d slowly wither away.

She put her head in her hands and released the gut wrenching sobs she’d held back for days. She missed both of them—and the pain she felt in her chest was the only part of Altaria she had left.

“Kira?”

She slowly raised her eyes to find Octavion standing in the doorway, his face weary and worn. Seeing him only made her sorrow worse and the tears came faster. She couldn’t speak as she lost herself in her grief.

He hesitantly moved closer and knelt in front of her, but he didn’t offer his embrace to hold or comfort her. Instead, he looked into her eyes for the longest time before finally speaking; his voice laced with deep emotion. “I have hurt you far too many times to count. Seeing you like this . . .” He turned his head away. “I do not blame you for wanting to be as far away from me as possible.” When he turned back and their eyes met, his were filled with tears as well.

Kira shook her head. “I’m not mad at you.” She looked around the room and then back to him. “It’s this room. I . . . I miss her so much.”

The pain in his eyes sent her into his arms. He scooped her up and carried her to one of the window benches and sat, cradling her to him. Having his strong arms around her was exactly what she needed.

“How can you not be angry with me?” he whispered in her ear.

Kira pulled her face back enough to see his eyes. “How can I be mad at you for something that isn’t your fault? You didn’t choose to be this way.” She paused for a moment and wiped a few tears from her face. “I
am
angry that you weren’t honest with me, though.”

She took a deep breath and adjusted herself so she sat next to him. “You should have told me you were fighting the pull of your moons. I would have understood.”

“I know. And I am sorry, but I could not leave you. I waited for days for you to wake, worrying you would die, so once you woke there was no way I could leave you.” He gently wiped away the rest of her tears.

“I understand that, but if you told me you needed some space and what was happening I wouldn’t have cut my foot or disabled Luka. I also wouldn’t have had to listen to you outside Ussay’s cottage growling and snarling half the night. If I would have known what to expect I . . . why are you looking at me like that?”

He’d suddenly straightened, his whole body gone ridged. “Kira, I was not in the village last night or the night before, nor do I know where Ussay’s cottage is.”

“But you said my name. I heard you say my name.” A shiver ran through her.

Octavion stood and put his hand to his forehead. The eerie feeling she’d become accustomed to returned right before Luka appeared in the room.

“Luka, have I been in the village at all these past two nights?”

Luka looked at Kira with her tear stained face and then back to his cousin. “You know we did not. I would never allow that to happen. Is there a problem?”

Octavion repeated what Kira told him. “Send a message to all the Royals in our kingdom, see if any were in the village. If we have Royals from another kingdom hunting here, we need to increase our patrols and send a warning to the villagers.”