Broken (6 page)

"Don't you ever
listen?"

The voice seemed to come from my dreams. I was
standing in my driveway with my head inside the car helping William put on his
seatbelt when I heard it. It was loud and very clear. Not dreamlike. I pulled
my head out of the car and there she was. I couldn't believe it. Standing right
in front of me with a little girl by her side. A girl who resembled her younger
sister
Halona
whom I knew and loved many years ago.
The woman's light brown eyes stared at me with crossness very similar to that
of a young child. But she was no child. She was a full grown woman. More
stunning than ever. My heart was pounding as I gasped for air.

"
Aiyana
?"

"I have called for you three times now. When were
you going to listen?" she said.

The sun hit her light brown eyes causing them to light
up like those of the jaguar she became at night. I couldn't help but smile.
Tears were pressing on from behind. "
Aiyana
?"
I repeated. Ten years of longing to just see her face again and now here she
was. All of a sudden. Out of the blue.

"Are you telling me you're surprised to see
me?" she asked.

I laughed so loud it sounded awkward. I loved it when
she listened in on my thoughts. It made me feel like she and I were one. What I
had always felt like we were. "Well I certainly didn't expect you to come
here," I said.

"I have called out for you three times,
Christian. But still you never came? You didn't even try to find me?" I
detected a hurt in her voice that I never knew before. Not from her. Something
had changed.
 
There was a
seriousness in her eyes I had never seen before. She was no longer that same
innocent young girl I had known and loved so dearly. She was a grown woman who
had seen and experienced a lot. Even hard times. Her skin and body hadn't aged
one day but her soul and spirit had. In that way she seemed to have aged far
more than I had.

I looked back at the house and especially the window
leading to our bedroom where Heather was right now. She only needed to get out
of bed and walk to the bathroom to see us. One single glance out the window was
enough to ruin everything. Enough for her to see
her,
the woman she probably despised more than anything in this world in her own
driveway talking to her husband. If that happened hell would surely break
loose. I couldn't let that happen. "Let's go somewhere else to talk,"
I said and took
Aiyana's
hand. Our eyes locked in
that second. She smiled shyly and lowered her eyes. I put a finger under her
chin and lifted her face until her eyes met mine again. Then I smiled lovingly
and led her gently towards the car.

I got in the driver's seat with butterflies in my
stomach. A thrill of heavenly proportions went through my entire body. How I
had dreamt of this moment many times. The day that
Aiyana's
prophesy would come true and our paths would finally cross again.

Chapter 7

I
drove us to
the beach. I have no idea why but I wanted
to feel the warm salty breeze from the Atlantic Ocean. Maybe it was because
Aiyana
always made me think of the beach and the endless
ocean. Maybe it was because I had longed to go there lately but never did. It
always amazed me how seldom we went to the beach when we lived so close to one
of the world's most beautiful ones. There just never seemed to be any time.
Plus Heather never wanted to go. Too much sand for her.

I called William's school and my office from my cell
phone in my Lexus to let them all know that none of us were coming in today. We
were taking the day off.

"But what about your appointments?" Julie
said, startled.

I couldn't blame her for reacting like that since I
had never taken the day off. I was always there working late, devoted to my job
and patients. I had never even left early.

"They'll just have to reschedule," I said, a
huge smile across my face as I crossed The Bridge of Lions. The anticipation of
the long sandy beaches right ahead of us filled me with such a joy I had a hard
time containing it.

"But ..." Julie stopped, at a loss for
words.

"Just do it, Julie. Just tell them that I am very
sorry but I had to reschedule. It's very simple."

I hung up the phone, feeling like a teenager skipping
school to be with a girl. I looked at
Aiyana
and she
gave me another of her shy looks along with a stunning little smile. I laughed.
There was no better moment than this. Nothing more joyful than the moment when
you realize that everything you will ever need in life is right there with you,
right there in that car.

I gazed in the rear-view mirror and spotted William.
He too seemed dazzled by this sudden spontaneity and the presence of a new
friend. Had he been older than five I would say that he was quite taken by
Aiyana's
little girl who was sitting next to him in the
backseat. Why wouldn't he be? She was beautiful beyond anything else in this
world. Just like her mother.

"What's her name?" I asked.

"
Luyu
. It means
wild dove,
"
Aiyana
said.

"She looks to be about the same age as my
William?"

Aiyana
nodded. "Five."

"William is five and a half, right buddy?" I
said to him while looking at him in the rear-view mirror again.

He nodded.

"It's very important that I don't leave out the
half, you know," I whispered.

Aiyana
smiled and whispered back. "I know."

"I'm in Kindergarten now. Next I'm going to be
six," William said to
Luyu
while showing six
fingers in front of him.

Luyu
looked at him with very impressed eyes. "Me too," she said.

I cruised down the Beach Boulevard and parked the car
at a park. We got out and the children ran towards the water. None of us had
brought any swimsuits or any beachwear but that didn't matter. I took William's
shirt off him and let him run around in his shorts and didn't mind if he got
wet. Heather wasn't there to complain about it anyway.
Aiyana
didn't seem to mind either, that
Luyu
ran in the
water and got her summer dress soaked. It was ninety degrees and the air felt
incredible. Even the water felt warm touching my toes as we kicked off our
shoes and carried them in our hands.
Aiyana
wore a
deep purple light summer dress that stopped at her knees. I had to roll up my
trousers so they wouldn't touch the water. The children ran, laughed, fell and
rolled in the sand holding on to one another like they had known each other
their entire lives.

I inhaled the scent of ocean air and enjoyed this
moment walking barefoot along the beach with the only woman I had ever truly
been in love with. The woman who owned my dreams. All the while the ocean water
softly caressed our feet.

"She is such a solitary child. It is good to see
her playful and smiling,"
Aiyana
said looking at
Luyu
running while holding William's hand in hers.
Her hair was wet and filled with sand.

"William doesn't have many friends either."

"He has such a seriousness to him,"
Aiyana
said. "A kind of melancholy."

I felt her eyes on me. I turned my head and our eyes
met. I almost gasped

. I thought I had remembered how astonishing beautiful
she really was, but my dreams was nothing compared to the real
Aiyana
. Her beauty was indescribable. Words simply didn't
suffice.

"Like his father," she said.

I chuckled lightly. No one knew me like
Aiyana
. No one saw me the way she did.

"Probably from the absence of a mother," she
continued.

I stopped walking and looked at her, startled.
"William has a mother," I said.

"I know. I meant the emotional absence." She
kept walking and I caught up with her.

I was shocked by her insight. Until this moment I
hadn't realized that William was growing up exactly like I had. With a mother
who wasn't there even if she was physically present like mine hadn't been, she
was never really
there,
she was never present. He
even had a dad a lot like mine. A dad who always worked and never took time out
of his busy schedule to just take a walk on the beach. I'd like to tell myself
that I was more there for my son than my own father had been for me, and I know
I was, but my job had always been my first priority. I had missed a lot of his
childhood already. I had missed too much. Even if I knew I couldn't change
Heather I could still change my way. I could still change my approach to my
job.

"I always said you should have been named
the wise one
instead of your sister," I said laughing.

She smiled lightly then continued walking in silence.
I fell a little behind and stared at her long thick beautiful brown hair
caressing her tanned shoulders. I was glad to see that her hair hadn't changed
either. It was still wild and unruly.

"So you said something about me not
listening?" I asked. I wanted so badly to grab her hand and hold it in
mine. I wanted to touch her again, feel her skin and smell her scent. I had
missed her so badly. "What didn't I hear?"

She turned to look at me. "I think you
know."

"The visions? I saw you? That was you? While I
was trying to sleep and at the party? I knew they were too real to be
dreams!"

She nodded with a smile. "But you refused to
listen," she said.

"You talked to me didn't you? You talked to me in
my mind? You can do that now? You're not just listening in on my thoughts
anymore; you can also put messages in there?" I asked.

She nodded with her lips slightly pressed together.
"It's still very new. I wasn't sure I could make it work with you. I
wasn't sure we still had the connection, that you were still open for this kind
of thing. Your thoughts have been so awfully quiet the last five years."

"You still listen to my thoughts?"

"I try to every once in a while. When I miss you.
I find a quiet spot and listen, but lately it has been no more than a whisper
coming from you. A whisper I haven't been able to get anything out of. It's
like your mind is closing up."

I sighed. Paused for a few heartbeats. "Well I
have had a lot on my mind lately. Life hasn't exactly turned out like I wanted
it to."

"You still need to water your gift, remember?
It'll wither if you don't."

I scoffed.
 
"I don't need it. I don't want those voices and images messing with
my head anymore. It's just a lot of noise really. I try to block them out. If I
don't pay any attention to them they tend to become almost quiet. I like that.
I like having it quiet in my mind."

"But this is the one thing we have, you and I,
Christian." She spoke with urgency in her voice. "If you close up we
won't be able to communicate. Don't do it. I need you in my life, Christian.
Even if I can't be with you. I need you."

I was surprised. Happy, thrilled even but still
startled. She needed me.
She
had missed
me. I had never heard those words from her before. But oh how I had longed to
hear them one day. To know that I meant the same to her that she meant to me.
It wasn't just a dream. What we had together wasn't just in my head. It was real.
It was very real.

I reached out my hand and took hers. We walked for a
few minutes in silence watching the kids enjoy themselves, taking our time to
just be there, present in this very moment not caring for what the next will
bring. I wanted to tell her about my latest discovery with my eyes and the
nightly visit to the swamps, but I never got to it. I sensed that whatever she
had on her mind was far more important. I was right.

"So why did you call for me?" I asked.

She paused before she spoke. "I need your help
with something."

I nodded sensing the importance. "I will do
anything for you."

"I know you will. But this is for
Luyu
."

I nodded again. "Anything for her as well,"
I said.