Bringing Up Bebe (32 page)

Unicef. “Child Poverty in Perspective: An Overview of Childhood Well-being in Rich Countries.” Innocenti Report Card 7, 2007. UNICEF Innocenti Research Center, Florence, Italy.

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. American Time-Use Survey Summse oteary, 2009 results.

Warner, Judith.
Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety
. New York: Riverhead Books, 2005.

Zellman, Gail L., and Anne Johansen. “Examining the Implementation and Outcomes of the Military Child Care Act of 1989.” Research brief. Santa Monica, Calif.: Rand Corporation, 1998.

Zigler, Edward, Katherine Marsland, and Heather Lord.
The Tragedy of Child Care in America
. New Haven and London: Yale University Press, 2009.

index

The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. To find the corresponding locations in the text of this digital version, please use the “search” function on your e-reader. Note that not all terms may be searchable.

adult time, 7, 187–88, 194, 223

American Academy of Pediatrics, 124

American Baby
magazine, 125

attend
,
xv
, 60

authority of parents

absence of, 68–70, 225–26

allowance of
bêtises
,
xv
, 161–62, 234–35

authoritative versus authoritarian, 232–33, 236–37

the big eyes,
xvii
, 221, 232–33

building
cadre
, 228–30, 237

caprices
,
xvi
, 72–73

child-king syndrome,
xvii
, 5, 223, 228

child’s security and happiness, 53, 84, 86, 221

complicité
,
xvi
, 232, 237–40

édr. cité
versus discipline,
xvii
, 7, 220, 233–34

fear of stifling creativity, 70–71, 224–25

leadership in family hierarchy, 226–28

punishment, 240

saying “no,” 71–74, 220–21, 240–41

shouting, 233

strictness, 234–35

autonomy

as child’s need, 246, 256–57

child’s time alone, 53, 66–67, 144–45

classe verte
,
xvi
, 246

colonies de vacances
,
xvi
, 243–44

cursing,
xv
, 166

dealings with other children, 248–50

overprotection and smothering, 146, 245, 250

praise, 251–56

school vacations, 243–44, 246–47

self-reliance,
autonomie
,
xv
, 244

tattling,
rapporter
,
xviii
, 249–50

trust and respect for children, 247–48, 257

awakening and discovery

within
cadre
, 237

éveillé/e
,
xvii
, 82

independent play, 53, 66–67, 83, 144–45

as natural developmental process, 78–84, 110, 244

for pleasure, 84

Baby and Child Care
(Spock), 92, 186–87

BabyCenter Web site, 17, 56

baby weight

gain, 19, 26–28

loss, 124–28

bedtime.
See
sleep

bêtises
,
xv
, 161–62, 234–35

the big eyes,
xvii
, 221, 232–33

birthing.
See
childbirth

Bitoun, Pierre, 121–22, 124

Blessing of a Skinned Knee, The
(Mogel), 245

Bloom, Paul, 95–96

bonjour
,
xv
, 154–58

boundaries and limits

for child’s happiness, 84, 221

permissiveness, 68–70

boundaries and limits (
cont.
)

protection of child from own desires, 74–75, 237

stifling of creativity, 70–71, 224–25

See also
cadre

breastfeeding

American recommendation on, 124

as competition, 119

size="-1" face="Goudy Old Style MT Std">French disinterest in, 119–22

lack of correlation with baby’s sleep pattern, 39–40, 51

Bronson, Po, 254–55

Bruckner, Pascal, 193

caca boudin
,
xv
, 149–50, 166–67

cadre

allowance of
bêtises
,
xv
, 161–62, 234–35

child’s blossoming within, 237

child’s predictable and coherent world, 84–85

in consumption of sweets, 213–15

definition,
xvi

flexibility within firm limits, 68, 109–11, 210–11

talking with child about, 228–30

See also
boundaries and limits

caprices
,
xvi
, 72–73

career.
See
work, return to

carnet de santé
, 35

Carroll, Raymonde, 252

Child and His Sleep, The
(De Leersnyder), 42–43, 53

childbirth

epidurals, 30, 34

hospital experiences, 33–35, 173–75

plans and customization, 29, 31–32

child care, freedom from

équilibre
,
xvii
, 147

mother’s separation and independent identity, 129–32, 147

mother’s time to herself, 106, 130, 142–44, 146–47

parents’ adult time, 7, 187–88, 194

child-care facilities.
See
crèche; day care, American

child development

awakening and discovery, 53, 66–67, 78–84, 110, 144–45, 244

competitive parenting, 4, 80, 83, 139–42

intensive supervision and concerted cultivation, 139–42, 181

Piaget on, 79–80

quality of parenting, 115

child king,
xvii
, 5, 223, 228

chocolat chaud
recipe, 218

classe verte
,
xvi
, 246

cognitive development.
See
child development

Cohen, Michel, 44–47, 52–53, 139

colonies de vacances
,
xvi
, 243–44

Commission Menus, 203–6

competitive parenting, 4, 80, 83, 139–42

complicité
,
xvi
, 232, 237–40

concerted cultivation, 140–42, 181

creativity, 70–71, 224–25

crèche

caregivers, 108, 113

definition,
xvi

dining experience, 111–12, 203–6, 229–30

enrollment process, 106–7

French enthusiasm for, 101–2, 105–6

government control, 100, 113

history, 98–101

mother’s time off from child care, 106, 130

parenting model and enforcement of
cadre
, 109–11

as social experience, 101, 105–6

crying it out, 38–39, 51–52, 54

curse words,
xv
, 149–50, 166–67

 

Daily Mail
, 37

Dati, Rachida, 148

day care, American, 97–98, 102–4, 115

day care, French.
See
crèche

delayed gratification.
See
patience

Denisot, Michel, 134–35

discipline versus
éducation
,
xvii
, 7, 220, 233–34.
See also
authority of parents

discovery.
See
awakening and discovery

Dolto, Françoise

on autonomy of children, 144, 234, 246, 257

on children as rational beings, 88–89, 90–92

influence on French parenting, 87–88

ht=quote

Major Stages of Childhood, The
, 144, 234, 246

own childhood ambitions, 89–90

on parents’ ability to solve problems, 93

respect for children, 90, 93, 257

doucement
,
xvi
, 94–95

Dusoulier, Clotilde, 65, 233

 

eating.
See
meals

école maternelle
,
xvii
, 150–53, 156

éducation
versus discipline,
xvii
, 7, 220, 233–34

Elle
magazine, 144, 147

Émile, or On Education
(Rousseau), 81–82, 241

Enfant
magazine, 121

enfant roi
(child-king),
xvii
, 5, 223, 228

epidurals, 30, 34

Epstein, Jean, 186

équilibre
,
xvii
, 147

éveillé/e
,
xvii
, 82

 

feeding schedules for infants, 50–51, 52–53, 56

female bonding, 15, 117–19

Ferber, Richard, 41

Ferrari, Laurence, 193

Fischler, Claude, 210

food.
See meals

French Women Don’t Get Fat
(Guiliano), 28, 127

frustration

benefits of, 53, 71–72, 75

coping with, 61–62, 73, 210–11

hearing “no,” 71–74, 220–21, 240–41

 

gâteau au yaourt
, 64, 77

gourmand/e
,
xvii
, 217

Goutard, Audrey, 157–58, 249

goûter

chocolat chaud
recipe, 218

chocolate, 214–15

definition,
xvii

gâteau au yaourt
recipe, 77

official time for, 57, 64

saving treats for, 64–65

Grand Journal, Le,
television show, 133–35

Grand Livre de la Famille, Le
(Goutard), 157–58

Granju, Katie Allison, 139

les gros yeux
,
xvii
, 221, 232–33

Guidebook for Mothers to Be
, 28

Guide for New Mothers, The
(French health ministry), 26

Guiliano, Mireille, 28, 127

guilt

bottle feeding, 124

eating during pregnancy, 28

focus on marital relationship, 187–88

imperfection as mother, 145–48

mother’s guilt-free time to herself, 130–31, 146–47

use of day care, 98, 114

valorization of, 145–46

 

Happy Child, A
(Pleux), 72

health measures and comparisons, 26, 30, 122

hospitalization for childbirth, 33–35, 173–75

 

independence, child’s.
See
autonomy

independence of parents

adult time together, 7, 187–88, 194

équilibre
,
xvii
, 147

mother’s time to herself, 106, 130, 142–44, 146–47

relation fusionnelle
, 146

separation and own identity, 129–32, 147

intensive supervision, 138–42

It Is Permissible to Obey
(Marcelli), 236, 238–39

 

James, William, 86

J’élève mon enfant
(Pernoud), 202–3

 

Kamerman, Sheila, 104, 114

 

la Fressange, Inès de, 147–48

Lareau, Annette, 140, 251

Leersnyder, Hélène De, 42–43, 48–49, 53–54, 187

limits.
See
boundaries and limits;
cadre

 

Major Stages of Childhood, The
(Dolto), 144, 234, 246

Maman!
magazine, 40, 48, 53

maman-taxi
,
xvii
, 143

Manger
(Fischler and Masson), 210

Man Who Ate Everything, The
(Steingarten), 206–7

Marbeau, Jean-Baptiste-Firmin, 98–100

Marcelli, Daniel, 236–37, 238–39

marital relationship

acceptance of inequalities, 191–93

adult time, 7, 187–88, 194, 223

cocooning period after birth of baby, 185–87

date nights, 181–82, 188

feminine mystique, 25, 121

impact of concerted cultivation on, 181–83

sex, 23–25, 183–85

sexiness and shedding of baby weight, 124–25

sleeplessness and exhaustion, 177–78, 179, 180

women’s anger and resentment, 189–91

Masson, Estelle, 210

maternelle (preschool),
xvii
, 150–53, 156

meals

acquiring taste for new foods, 201–3, 205, 206–8

adult schedule, 56–57, 75–76, 216

balance, 209, 216

cooking and baking, 63–64, 208

courses, 65, 111–12, 209, 215–16

crèche dining experience, 111–12, 203–6, 229–30

dining as family, 208–10

discussions about food, 112, 203, 208

enforcement of rules, 229–30

gourmand/e
,
xvii
, 217

hunger at mealtime, 64, 216

infant feeding schedules, 50–51, 52–53, 56

kids’ menus, 198–200

during pregnancy, 18–19, 25, 27–28

snacks,
goûter
,
xvii
, 57, 64–65, 199

sweets, 212–15

visual appeal, 204, 205, 217

Merle, Sandra, 204

Merryman, Ashley, 254–55

Message support group, 28–29, 120

Mischel, Walter, 57–59, 60, 62, 67, 72

Mogel MT29, Wendy, 245

Mother and Infant Protection service (PMI), 100, 123, 177

 

narrated play, 138–40

National Sleep Foundation, 37

Neuf Mois
magazine, 23, 24

nighttime waking.
See
sleep

n’importe quoi
,
xviii
, 68–70

“no,” 71–74, 220–21, 240–41

nursing.
See
breastfeeding

NurtureShock
(Bronson and Merryman), 254–55

 

observation of baby’s sleep cycles, 42, 45–49, 50

Ollivier, Debra, 163, 191

 

Pailhas, Géraldine, 131

parenting style

authoritarian model, 86–87

choice of philosophy, 6, 17, 23

competitive parenting, 4, 80, 83, 139–42

concerted cultivation, 140–42, 181

in crèche, 109–11

équilibre
,
xvii
, 147

maman-taxi
,
xvii
, 143

narrated play and intensive supervision, 138–40

oppositioStdht="0">

overprotection, 4, 245, 250

permissiveness,
n’importe quoi
,
xviii
, 68–70

praise, 251–56

sensitivity to needs of child, 67, 115