Breathing For The First Time (4 page)

Come to think of it, neither do I anymore.

Still, I owe Rachel an explanation about Brooke. We shared three years of our lives. I can’t really expect her to be over us already. It sounds callous that I am, but I started moving on, giving my heart to Brooke, before Rachel and I broke up. She needs time to heal. And she needs to know I’m moving on so she can, too.

I need to find Brooke first.

No, whether Brooke is mad at me or not, Rachel deserves to know that there’s no chance of us getting back together. And Brooke, she needs to know how I feel about her, and why I’m here with Rachel.

Rachel finally settles at a slot machine and slides her key through, activating the lights. She pulls the handle down, spinning the numbers quickly. Her first spin teases her with a small win. She jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck. When she pulls back from me, she looks up at me through her lashes, batting her eyes at me.

She’s definitely not done with me. Why was I stupid enough to believe Jon?

I gently push her away and take a step back. Rachel keeps playing the machine, quickly losing $20.

I glance around the casino, hoping to see Brooke, but know she wouldn’t be here. Rachel sidles up next to me, a disappointed look on her face, but hope in her eyes and asks if I’m ready to go to bed. I sigh and surrender, following her to our shared room.

CHAPTER FIVE

Brooke

Tears burn my eyes as I push the door to our room. I walk to the balcony, staring at the fading horizon. A moment later, I hear the door open. I knew Paige and Tiffany would follow me back here, but shit, I don’t want to talk about it.

My friends join me on the balcony in silence. They know I don’t usually freak out over nothing, but they have no idea what is going on. I can feel them trying to figure out what to say.

Paige breaks the silence first, “So, who was that?”

I take a deep breath, trying not to cry. “That was Tyler.”

I can’t see them, but I can feel the look they exchanged. “Hot, study partner Tyler?” asks Tiffany.

“Yes.”

“I thought he broke up with the girlfriend,” Paige states instead of asking.

“I did, too... when I slept with him last night.”

The silence would be deafening if it weren’t for the waves slapping the side of the boat. I’ve finally shocked my two best friends speechless.

Paige finds her voice before Tiffany, “You did what?”

Tiffany jumps in before I have a chance to answer, “So, why is he with someone else?”

“I think that’s why she’s here, and not at dinner, Tiff. Did he tell you he was going to be with her for spring break?”

“No. We didn’t do a whole lot of talking last night. I told him I was flying to Florida to see y’all. He said he was going to be hanging out with some old friends from college, but didn’t say who. I’m guessing she’s the ex-girlfriend.”

“You know you have to talk to him,” Paige tells me. Poor communication almost sunk her chances for a relationship with Dante. She’s big on telling someone what you’re thinking. I agree, but I’m a little crushed right now. That’s not true; I’m completely shattered.

“I’m not sure I can face him. He stayed with me, after. He slept in my bed last night. This morning we cooked breakfast together before he went home to pack for his trip. He told me he was going to miss me.”

Hot tears escape my eyes and trace lines down my cheeks. I’d be angrier if I wasn’t so hurt. I really thought we had something. One night together is quick to start thinking about a future, but not impossible. We’d gotten all the getting-to-know-you stuff out of the way over the few months we’ve been friends. Last night was stepping it up to a relationship, I thought. But now, today, I’ve been slapped right back to one night stand.

Why the hell did he do this to me? I’m sure he made plans for this trip a while ago, but he knew last night, when he slept with me, that he would be here today with someone else. I really didn’t think he was such an ass. He was supposed to be different.

Paige steps off the balcony leaving Tiffany and I alone. Tiffany is never one to pull punches so I brace myself for whatever she is going to say. “I’m sorry,” floats from the darkness.

I turn around, stunned she didn’t blast me for being stupid or not yelling at him when he was right there. I start to say something, but she continues, “It’s not fair that he did this to you. You’re not one who sleeps with someone easily, so I know you really care about him. You don’t deserve this.”

Fresh tears fall and I nod my head, thanking my friend. She crosses the balcony and drapes her thin arms around my neck, wrapping me in a hug from behind. Tiffany is loyal, and I know she’ll help me out this week.

Paige returns and tells us she ordered room service. She knew I wouldn’t want to face him again, and that we could all use a quiet evening. I thank her and realize, again, that I couldn’t live without my best friends.

CHAPTER SIX

Tyler

Rachel wants to push our beds together. I laugh when she suggests it, but quickly realize she’s serious. What is she thinking? She’s incredibly comfortable with me, walking around the room in her underwear and dropping her towel to get dressed in front of me.

I’m trying really hard to be a decent guy, but she’s making me crazy, and not in a good way. If I weren’t so into Brooke I might give in and sleep with Rachel, but it’s just not going to happen. The truth is, if Brooke never came along I would likely still be with Rachel. But I know I wouldn’t be happy.

I’m up before Rachel so I head to breakfast before her strip show can begin. I guess I’ll have to spend most of my waking hours out of the room, and hopefully with Brooke, to avoid Rachel.

Breakfast is in full swing already this morning. I look around and don’t see Brooke or Jon and Jessica. I find a stool along the side of the ship and fill myself with eggs, turkey sausage, and wheat toast. I stare out the window watching the sun climb it’s way into the sky, hoping I’ll run into Brooke today.

After breakfast, I hit the gym. I need to work out some of my frustration and it’s either sex or the gym. Since I don’t know where Brooke is, and she’s not speaking to me right now, it’s definitely going to be the gym.

I step onto one of the available treadmills and turn the speed up until I’m running. I’ve always enjoyed running and usually run through the city. Growing up in Texas, I’d gotten used to hot summers and running in extreme heat. Columbia is more humid, but the heat isn’t much different. The treadmill is a bigger adjustment for me than the weather.

I let my mind wander as I run. The treadmills are facing the ocean, and I feel like I’m running on the water. I let my mind float back to my night with Brooke, the way her skin felt, bare under my fingers. The taste of her mouth. The way she moved against me. The sound of my name on her lips as her orgasm claimed her body. The way it felt to be inside her.

I feel alive when I’m with Brooke. Rachel was crushed when we broke up, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I was no longer in love with her. I’d already started to fall for Brooke. Being with her made me forget Rachel entirely. I always had a bad habit of comparing girlfriends. Ever since high school, I would subconsciously compare my current girlfriend to my previous one. With Brooke, no woman can come close.

Brooke is beautiful, but it’s not just her looks that I love, or making love to her. She has a kind heart, the sort that makes you feel like everyone in the world is loved because they are when she’s around. She always reaches out to our classmates that are struggling, helping them study. She claims the studying helps her out too, but I know it’s because she wants to help people.

Brooke has shown me time and again that she will make a great psychologist. She can look at you and calm you down, hold your hand and give you her strength, or silence your doubts and fears with her words. I know my life won’t be right unless she’s a part of it. 

The beep of the treadmill alerts me to my 30 minute time limit and I step off the machine, wiping it clean for the next person. I walk over to the weight machines and spend the next hour lifting weights and daydreaming about Brooke.

I check the clock in the gym. Rachel should be out of the room by now so I decide to go for a shower. I take the stairs, knowing Rachel will only ride elevators. For such a fit woman, her laziness astonishes me. I slide the key in the lock and the door clicks open. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see the room is empty.

I take a quick shower before changing into my swim trunks, ready to find Brooke.

The pool deck is crowded, as I expected it to be. I kick my flip flops under a vacant chair and lay my t-shirt across the surface. I jump in, sending a splash around the edges of the pool. I stretch my arms and legs, letting the water loosen the muscles tightened from my morning workout.

I swim a few minutes and pull myself out of the pool, lying down on my chair. The sun blazes down on me, drying my suit and warming my body. I close my eyes, knowing I’ll feel it when Brooke walks in.

I doze off waiting for Brooke to show up, and wake to see someone standing directly in front of me. The sun is shining in my eyes so I can’t tell who it is, but I know the voice as soon as she speaks. “There aren’t anymore chairs. Do you think I could share yours? I can just lean against you,” Rachel says.

I get up quickly before she tries to sit in my lap and tell her she’s welcome to the chair and I’m going for a swim. Jon and Jessica come up behind Rachel as I’m getting up and ask us to try out the water slide.

We climb the steps to the top of the slide. Jon and Jessica are holding hands and kissing on our slow ascent. Jessica fingers her ring unconsciously, adjusting to wearing something new. Rachel laces her fingers through mine and plants a kiss on my cheek without a word. I pull my hand away from her and tell her the line is moving.

Rachel tries to ride the slide with me, but the attendant tells her only one rider is allowed down at a time. I climb onto the slide first, wanting to make it into the pool before Rachel tries anything else. When I reach the bottom, I move to the side and scan the crowd for Brooke. I still don’t see her, but know she’ll show up sometime.

Jon slides down after me, followed by Jessica, and finally Rachel. As soon as we’re all in the pool again Rachel says, “Hey, are y’all up for a chicken fight?”

Jessica jumps up and down before climbing onto Jon’s shoulders. Rachel approaches me with a dangerous look in her eyes. I duck into the water and she reaches for my hands to steady herself as she settles on my shoulders. She leans over and lets her breasts dangle in my face when she says, “Let’s get ‘em.”

This trip was a mistake in more ways than one.

I stand up in the chest deep water and feel the air spark, my body aware that Brooke is here. Of course, this is the moment she would arrive. Now she’s caught me two separate times looking incredibly comfortable with Rachel.

But, shit, Rachel doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. Enough, I need to talk to Brooke.

I loosen my grip on Rachel and let her fall into the water behind me. I apologize as I quickly walk to the side of the pool. I climb out, ignoring Rachel’s protests, and approach Brooke, safely protected by her friends.

Shit, I don’t stand a chance.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Brooke

I know I have to leave the room, but I don’t want to face Tyler. But I can’t hide in here for a week. He’s not going to ruin my trip.

I dreamt of him all night long. First it was about our night together, his hands on me, his lips pressed against mine. Then it turned into him doing the same with the redhead he was with last night. I woke up confused and hurt all over again.

Paige and Tiffany said they won’t leave my side, unless I tell them to. I feel better knowing my friends will protect my heart. We are at sea all day today so my chances of running into Tyler and his girlfriend are pretty high. Hopefully I can control myself and at least manage to not cry in front of him.

Tiffany and Paige flank me at breakfast, making sure no one gets close. I don’t see Tyler, but my friends are fiercely protective, just in case he sneaks up on us. I’m out of luck when we go to the pool though. Just as we walk onto the pool deck Tyler lifts the redhead onto his shoulders for a chicken fight.

Paige and Tiffany each grab one of my arms as we walk past them, ignoring him even after Tyler calls my name. We find three chairs, by some miracle, and settle in for some sun, Tiffany and Paige taking the chairs next to me.

I pull my cover off to reveal my pink rose print bikini. I knew when I saw this suit that I had to have it, and it helps that I look totally hot in it. Tiffany whistles at me, drawing the attention of the few men on the deck that weren’t already watching us.

Just as I settle into my chair Tyler walks up. His hair is wet from the pool and beads of water slide down his bare chest, hugging his muscles like a second skin. It’s not fair that he looks so good. He flexes the muscles in his arms, a nervous habit of his, and I remember how it felt to have those arms around me.

My fingers twitch at the sight of him, aching to touch him again. I stop myself, of course. I can feel the anger rolling off my best friends toward him and almost feel bad for him. But then I remember why they’re pissed off as my pain plunges to the surface.

“Brooke, can we talk?” He glances between Paige and Tiffany before adding, “Alone?”

He’s nervous, but I know it’s just because he’s been caught in the middle of a lie. Even if I could act like everything was no big deal and his trip was planned ahead of time, he is obviously still very comfortable with her. Watching them you would never know they aren’t a couple madly in love.

I take my strength from my friends, sitting strong beside me, and tell him, “I don’t think so, Tyler. It’s pretty clear to me,” I gesture to the water, where the redhead is  watching us, “that I was mistaken about a few things. It’s all clear now.”

“It’s not like that, Brooke. Please, I want to explain.” Tyler is pissed and a part of me wants to give in. I can’t just let it go.