Breathe Me (A 'Me' Novel) (13 page)

Flags that I ignored.

“If I wanted this, I don’t have to be
nice
to get it, trust me. I’m an asshole and women love assholes. And I do want to fuck you.” He applied a small amount of pressure, almost making me whimper before removing his hand. “I damn sure don’t have to be
nice
to kiss you into giving it to me. We both know you want me to fuck you.”

I watched in stunned silence as he brought his hand up to his nose and sniffed, giving me a knowing look.

Holy shit.

I knew in that moment that no matter the outcome of this, whatever
this
was, I would always compare every book boyfriend—past, present, and future—to him.

Chapter 18

Deklan

I swear I felt her pussy pulse in my palm when I said that shit. I don’t even know why I said it except for the simple fact the shit needed to be said. I was focused on her fucking situation, but when she started telling me I was being nice to her, that made me want to prove to her how fucking nice I wasn’t.

“Did you just…? I can’t believe you did that. You’re such an arrogant asshole.” She jerked back from me, trying to mask her embarrassment or arousal to the whole act.

I was aching to touch her again, to slam her down on my shitty-ass childhood bed and smash her, but I didn’t want my ma to hear all that, so I was resigned to get all up in her space again. I leaned in close to her face and whispered against her mouth, “I call it like I see it, babe.” Then I let my mouth graze across her chin, and I felt her stiffen with anticipation as I slowly made my way down her neck and stopped at the sensitive flesh just under her chin. She let out a small gasp as I pressed my mouth briefly to her skin, and because I couldn’t help myself, I darted my tongue out to taste her flesh.

Fuck, the sound that escaped from her lips hardened me faster than a lap dance with a stripper would have. If she had been here for any other reason, and if we were back in my hotel room instead, I would have had her on her knees with my dick in her mouth right about now, and I was that much of an asshole that I was half thinking about still trying to accomplish that. I knew she would let me. She was so ready for me, for anyone, to take her to that place. But I couldn’t, not because I was nice, but because my mother was awake, and despite the fact that I could give two shits what Royce would say to me, I didn’t want him to say some shit to her and give me a reason to sleep in a cell tonight. Nah, I’d fucking wait.

“Why does your mom need a nurse?” Her voice cut through my thoughts as she put more space between us. Yeah, like that would stop me.

“She’s dying. Your turn. Who did that to you?” I replied, quickly throwing that shit back on her. She was going to give me a damn answer before we left, of that I was damn sure of.

She looked as though she was deciding something, and then she squared those shoulders that sometimes looked like they carried the world and looked me in the eye before saying, “Someone who doesn’t love me enough not to,” and walked past me before I could even attempt to decipher that shit.

“Hold up, what does that mean?” I grabbed her and spun her around before she reached the door. She flinched away from me like I was about to swell her up, and it pissed me off. Why did she think I was gonna hurt her?

“Look, I’m not the type of motherfucker to hit women, especially someone like you. You have nothing to be fucking scared of with me.”

Her eyes widened a fraction like she was going to say something then thought better of it and stared, fixing her mouth to say sorry.

Nope, didn’t want to hear that shit either.

“If you apologize to me, I swear on my stack of comics I will fuck that confession out of you now rather than later.” I hated that my dick jumped at the mention of fucking her, and I had no inclination to hide it from her. She should get used to it. If I had my way, she was going to see it, and soon.

“I wasn’t going to say that,” she said snappily and yanked her arm out of my grasp. This was the most I had seen her get angry or annoyed or whatever the fuck she was. I could see why she had everyone believing that shit she spit about being all tough and shit.

“You’re not like how Matty told me. Why?” I demanded. I knew the answer, but I wanted her to tell me.

“You’re not going to let me leave until I tell you something, are you?” She eyed me up and down.

“Now you’re using that head of yours, babe.” I pulled up my desk chair and sat, then motioned for her to sit her ass down on the bed and start talking. She sighed all heavy and shit like it bothered her, but I knew she wanted to tell me something or else why be all cryptic and shit before now? Nah, she was begging for someone to see her. I wasn’t no hero or a damn shrink, but I’d been to enough of them to know you gotta listen sometimes to what people don’t say. I adjusted my dick to make sure I still had it ’cause that was some bitch-ass shit I’d just thought.

Once she was settled on the bed, she just stared at her feet and played with her hands. I sat waiting.

“I got all day, babe,” I drawled, because I really
didn’t
have all day. Royce would be looking for me if Greta told him I was here, or worse, Matty would look for me and think whatever the fuck he wanted to. I couldn’t give two shits, but for some reason, I cared that
she
didn’t want to see him.

“What did Matt say about me?” she finally asked, looking past me at the wall. Okay, looked like she was gonna zone the fuck out on me. Whatever, as long as she talked.

“That you were used to being on your back with any random dick in you on any given night. That he would be surprised if your pussy wasn’t falling off with how stretched out it must be.”

She flinched but nodded like she knew this already.

I continued. “But from what I see, if I whipped my dick out right now, I have a feeling you wouldn’t know the first thing to do. Hell, you’d probably run at the sight of it.”

“I wouldn’t run.” Her eyes flared and her cheeks stained, giving her lie away.

“Babe, you’d do something, and if I had to bet between dropping to your knees and sucking me off or running, my money would go to running.”

“How can you say those things to me? It’s so, so…you talk to me like I’m a dude, like I’m used to—”

“Fucking?” I cut her off. I was tired of dancing around the truth.

“Yes,” she admitted softly, then hung her head as if in shame. Who the hell beat her down so much she hung her head in shame about this shit? I’d like to choke his ass out.

I moved off the chair and sat beside her on the bed. She started to flinch but then caught herself and sat stiffly next to me, ready to bolt upright at the hint of distress. Calling up on all that research I did last night, I carefully guided her chin up and turned her head to look at me.

“I’m no good with this shit, babe. You gotta cut me some slack. I knew when I slipped my tongue in your mouth that you’d never been touched, especially by someone as dirty as me. But why does everyone think that you have, is my question.”

Her gaze darted from my lips to my eyes, to my chin, to my neck, then back to my lips again before she licked hers and responded with a meek, “Because I want them to.”

“Why the fuck would you want assholes like my brother to think you’re easy?” I asked, letting go of her chin slowly when it looked like she had relaxed a little.

“It’s easier.”

“Easier than what?” I tried to ease it out, but by the pained look on her face, I could tell it came out assholish.

“It’s complicated,” she tried, as her way of explaining. Nah, I needed her to spell it the fuck out for me.

“ ‘It’s complicated’ is a Facebook status, not an explanation. Elaborate.”

“Easier than being who I really am,” she all but blurted out.

Took me a while to process that shit, but when I did, I got it. “I feel you on that,” I said. “But why are you not that way with me then if it’s so fucking easy?”

“I don’t know actually,” she admitted. She carefully lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, then the words started flowing. “I guess when I first met you, you seemed to actually look at me, through me, into someplace deep and buried. No one has ever cared, or I’ve never let them care, to look at me closer than the surface. It’s…disarming. I’m more of myself around you than I am with my best friend, and I don’t know how to feel about that.”

I was a dick, this I knew, so I shouldn’t have felt bad about focusing on that taut piece of skin that was peeking out from her shirt while she told me some deep shit. Not that I wasn’t listening, I can multitask, but damn it was hard.

“Go on.” My voice cracked like I was going through puberty. What the fuck? Over the creamiest piece of skin I’d ever seen? Damn.

“What more do you want me to say? You already know I’m a virgin, and until last night, I had never been kissed, but people think I’m the biggest fucking slut this side of Dacula.”

“Hold up, you mean last night was your first kiss?” I asked, shocked. Hell, if I’d known that, I wouldn’t have been so aggressive with her. Who the fuck was I kidding? I had known that deep down, and I still would have been aggressive with her, just maybe a little gentler, but still aggressive. That knowledge made me want to rectify the first one, to top it somehow. I was selfish enough to want her to compare my kiss to all other kisses she would receive after me. I wanted to mark her.

“Yes, don’t sound so disgusted by it. I thought guys liked kissing virgins.” She propped opened her eyes but didn’t look at me, embarrassed. Oh, it was on.

I leaned over her, my top half on the side of her and my leg pushing in between her hot thighs. I wanted her to feel all of me, but with her back being fucked up, I settled on easing closer to her so she felt what I was about to say.

“You feel that?” I asked, swiveling my hips once so my erection jabbed at her hip bone.

She gasped, and her eyes went wide as hell, letting know she felt me.

“Does that feel like I’m disgusted?” I rolled my hip once more, letting the fiction of my knee rub on her clit through her jeans. She squeezed her legs together, locking my knee in place, and all that did was cause me to ease it up higher into her heat, causing my pants to get uncomfortable as shit as she started squirming against my leg.

“N-no,” she answered breathlessly.

Yeah, she wanted this as much as I did. Fuck it, I was going to ease her into this kiss, but with her looking at me like she was, and with her all but riding my thigh, I had to take it now or else I would have ripped off her clothes and fucked her, and it wouldn’t have been gentle. And she needed gentle.

I crushed my mouth to hers so fast she didn’t have time to protest, not that she would have. She immediately opened for me, and I had to calm the hell down. For a virgin, she was so fucking ready for it. I slowed the kiss, covering her tongue with mine, and took pleasure in the way she molded her body to mine as I moved my knee back and forth, back and forth, determined to make this count.

She broke away to gasp as she caught on to the rhythm and started moving with me. I didn’t hesitate and brought my mouth down on her neck, sucking and biting that smooth skin I had been slowly obsessing over. Shit, she was prefect, everything about her, then she made those mewling sounds out of her mouth when she closed her eyes as the friction became too much. Everything about this girl was prefect. And I was fucked.

I latched onto one of her nipples through her thin shirt and felt it pucker up as she started to really move. I bit down lightly on it, and boom, she fucking exploded, grabbing my shoulder, my hair, my shirt, anything she could to calm that wave of intensity she was feeling. In that brief moment, I saw it: the person she was hiding, the person she let people believe she wasn’t, weak. I saw it, and I’m not gonna lie, I almost let it go, too. It took all I had not to sink so deep into her that she would still feel me hours later. Guys liked to fuck virgins because no matter what, they would always remember who they lost it to, but I wanted to fuck her for a different reason that I wasn’t too comfortable thinking about too much right now.

“Fuck,” I hissed out as her nails bit into my shoulder. She let go and just stared at me for a beat as her breathing calmed down, and then she started to get all panicky.

“Oh my god, did I just…did you just…oh my god, I am a whore.” She slung her arm over her face.

“Nope, don’t do that. What just happened was…I don’t even know what it was. But you coming undone by grinding that pussy on my knee like that? Fire meets gasoline, and the next time that happens, we
will
be naked so I can feel your juices on me right before I fuck you.”

I was about to suggest we actually do that again, or do a meet and greet between my mouth and her pussy, but my door swung open and in waltzed Royce with the little puppy on his heels. This should be interesting.

Chapter 19

Harley

I could not believe what just happened, that I’d actually experienced my first orgasm fully clothed, with the world’s hottest man, on what was his childhood bed. Holy shit. Hoooly shiiit.

I also couldn’t believe that I was looking up at Royce Kane of Kane’s Dry Cleaning. Holy shit, Royce Kane was Deklan’s father? I’d never asked Ember about Matt’s family. I hadn’t needed to, but now I was kinda wishing that I had. Holy shit, and he was looking at me like I was…like I was…trash, a whore, too dirty to be in his house on this bed with his son. Holy shit.

My mind blanked, and of all the times to wish to be invisible, this was the time I wished it the hardest. Deklan didn’t seem to care that his father and his brother, who was giving me the “you dirty bitch” look, were staring at us. Us, him half on top of me, with his leg in…places, and me with a just-orgasmed glow that I knew was blatantly obvious.

Holy shit.

“Don’t you have a jank-ass motel for this?” Matt asked in a bored tone, but his eyes said he was anything but. Now he actually looked disgusted.

Fuck him.
He
was easy to fool. He would fall for the lie because I’d given him no reason not to. I didn’t give a shit what he thought, and it occurred to me that that was the reason I couldn’t pretend with Deklan, because I
did
give a shit. I cared.