Breathe Into Me (25 page)

My cheeks felt like they had been lit on fire, “Jessi! No he doesn’t have any more piercings! I can’t believe you would ask me that!” I don’t think it was the question that had really embarrassed me, it was the fact that I was kind of turned on thinking about Kane having more piercings and wondering if he would ever consider it.
Stop!
I needed to stop thinking right now.

“Look, I can’t go into details with you right now. I am getting ready to hop in the shower.” I heard her inhale and I knew the question that was getting ready to pop out of her mouth. “Alone, Jessi. Before you even ask. I am taking a shower
alone.
”

“Well that’s just boring,” she said. “You know you could conserve water and shower together?” she giggled. She knew she was killing me.

I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see. “I just wanted to let you know not to wait up for me. I am supposed to meet Nate at nine to go over the group project. You sure you can’t make it?”

“Nope, sure can’t. You crazy kids have fun with that. I’ll just play catch up.”

“Like always?”

“Don’t you start with me, Kelsey Rien. Just because you are a woman now doesn’t mean you are the boss of me,” she giggled again and I huffed. I knew later she was going to want every single detail about what had happened tonight, and because she was my best friend, I would tell her. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t tell her
everything
. It was special. I wanted to keep it something that was just between Kane and me, but I would give her enough to pacify her.

“Just know that it was special and that he made me feel comfortable. He was tender and great and it was everything I could have hoped for.” I smiled at the memory of tonight.

Jessi let out a deep sigh, “I’m so happy for you, Kelsey. I bet it was romantic and I’m glad it was special for you. You deserve good memories like that.” This is why she was my best friend. Even though we had never spoken about making new memories to cancel out the old ones, she understood exactly what I was doing.

“I love you, Jess. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Love you too, Kels. And just think, if it was good the first time when it’s supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable, just imagine how it’s going to be … the next time,” she laughed.

“Bye, Jessi.” I shook my head at my friend.

“Later, babe.” She replied and I hit end.

Could she be right? Could it get better than what it had been? This time was pretty great, when it had not been painful. Maybe she was right, maybe the next time would be even better. I felt a heat rise up from my chest and I knew I needed to get in the shower—a cold one at that—and stop thinking about a next time. Who even knew if there would be a next time?

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, Kane was sitting on his couch watching his huge TV. I quietly walked to the end of the couch and stood. He must have heard me anyway because he picked up the remote, pointed it at the TV and turned it off. He leaned forward placing the remote on the table, then stood and made his way to me. I swear it had probably been twenty minutes since I had seen him last, but it felt like it had been an eternity because all I wanted to do was throw myself at him and kiss him … hard.

“Hi,” he said as he stood in front of me.

I looked up at him through my lashes and bit the corner of my lip out of nervous habit. He smiled and used his thumb to pull my lip free from my teeth. “You really have to stop doing that.” He smiled, then leaned in to kiss me.

The kiss started out soft and sweet, but quickly grew as I wrapped both arms around his neck and ran my hands over his short hair. I broke from the kiss, needing some air, or so I thought. But the light-headedness I was feeling had nothing to do with lack of oxygen, it was all simply due to Kane and what he did to me. With his mouth now free from mine, he began kissing along my jawbone up to my ear.

“You should really just wear my clothes all the time.” He seductively breathed in my ear and my body automatically responded. I tightened my arms around his neck and he let out a throaty laugh. “You call Jessi and tell her you weren’t coming back tonight?” he asked.

I nodded because honestly I didn’t think I could form any words at the moment, but bringing up my phone call with Jessi also reminded me that I needed to tell him I had to be at the library at nine. But when he began kissing my neck, I lost that thought and could only focus on his lips and what they were doing to me.

Kane slid his hands around my waist, pausing to grip my backside before sliding down to hook his hands under my knees. He lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I didn’t realize we were moving until I heard the click of a door being opened. At first I thought someone had come in his front door, but when I opened my eyes I found myself in a different room. I quickly took in my surroundings. I couldn’t see much because the light was off, but Kane had left the door open so the light from the hall filtered in enough for me to get a feel for the space.

All the furniture looked dark. Either it was dark wood or it was black, I couldn’t tell for sure with the little light I had. Beside the bed was a small night stand and there were two picture frames sitting atop it. There was a large bed in the middle of the wall and a chest at the foot of the bed. Just your standard room. I guess he didn’t let Emma get ahold of this space.

Kane walked over to the bed and gently laid me down and all thoughts of the room went out the window. He laid me on his pillows and his scent engulfed me. I could get used to this. Being able to fall asleep smelling Kane.

He laid down beside me and his mouth found mine again. He was playfully kissing me, giving my lips tiny little teasing licks or bites, never fully kissing me the way I wanted. Finally fed up with his teasing, I grabbed the back of his neck and held him still while I took control. I could feel him laughing around my kiss but he finally gave in and kissed me how I wanted to be kissed.

We laid there kissing for what seemed like hours. I’m surprised the kissing didn’t lead to more considering what we had just done a few hours ago, but to be honest, I didn’t know if I would be able to handle more so soon. I was still a little sore. Kane pulled away from me and stopped me when I leaned back in for more.

“As much as I hate to stop doing what we are doing, I still have to take a shower.” He smiled.

I couldn’t help the pout face I gave him. Kissing Kane was just too enjoyable for me to be okay with stopping. He tucked a strand of my now-damp hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead.

“I will back in a few minutes.” I gave him a look letting him know I would rather him just stay in bed with me, but he started to get up anyway. “I will hurry. I promise.” He smiled as he excited the room.

I sighed and rolled to my side, facing the only window in the room. They must have been slightly cracked because a soft white glow was just barely showing through. I touched my lips and smiled. Yep, they would definitely be swollen the rest of the night and maybe even tomorrow. Just another reminder I would have of Kane.

I let out a long yawn. I guess now that all the excitement had died down and all the endorphins I had being running high on had ceased, my body was finally starting to feel how tired I was. I could still hear the shower running but I thought I would just close my eyes for a little while. Just rest them for a minute. I would hear when he came back in the room and it would wake me up anyway. Only that didn’t happen. Once I closed my eyes exhaustion took over and it felt like I had fifty pound weights holding them closed.

I barely recall being lifted and then slid under the covers. I also faintly remembered Kane sliding in behind me and wrapping me up in his arms, but the last part I couldn’t be certain if it had really happened or if it was a dream. But if it was a dream, it was one I hoped I remembered tomorrow because I didn’t want to forget the feel of Kane’s lips on the back of my head as he kissed me, and the way his breath felt on my ear as he whispered goodnight.

But out of all of that I didn’t want to forget what he said after that. “I never thought I would have someone like you in my life, Kelsey. Maybe there was a reason for me waking up and becoming a better person. Maybe it was because all along I was meant to find you and the person I was before wasn’t worthy of having you. But I swear, now that I have you, I’m never going to let you go.”

His words echoed through my head before the blackness of sleep engulfed me and I drifted off.

I went to stretch my body and was immediately aware that I was not alone in my bed. Better yet, I was not alone in
someone else’s bed.

The memories of yesterday and last night came rushing back to me and I smiled. I turned onto my back, I could feel Kane’s heavy arm draped across my torso. I slowly ran my fingers along some of the tattoos on his forearm. Beautiful. Each and every one of them … just beautiful.

When I had traced and fully memorized most of Kane’s tattoos, I took a good look at his face. He was soundly sleeping and had a peaceful look on his face. His long lashes rested on his cheeks. The sun was shining through the tiny cracks in the window blinds and reflecting off his lip ring.

“You know, I could say that it’s really creepy for you to be watching me sleep.” His eyes slowly opened to look at me. I was a little embarrassed I was caught. “But you’re so damn cute I don’t think you could make anything really creepy.” He smiled and I could see the dimple in his right cheek sink in.

“How long have you been lying there awake?” I asked.

“Since you started tracing patterns on my forearm, which I might add is an excellent way to be woken up. Way better than my annoying-ass alarm clock. I may just have to keep you around,” he said as he leaned in to nuzzle my neck.

“I’m sorry I crashed on you last night. I guess I was more tired than I thought.” I sighed as he ran his nose up the side of my neck. If he thought me tracing his tattoos was a great way to wake up, he had no idea how much better this was.

When he finally reached my ear he lightly kissed my lobe. “Why don’t we stay here, just like this, all day?”

“Mmm, that sounds like an amazing plan.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed along my jaw ‘til his lips finally connected with mine. It was only a brief kiss before I realized I had not brushed my teeth yet this morning and jerked away, immediately covering my mouth with my hand.

Kane chuckled. “What are you doing?” he asked as he held himself above me on his elbows.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth yet. I have morning breath,” I said with my hand still shielding him from any type of odor that may or may not come from my mouth.

“You tasted fine to me,” he said, leaning back in and I automatically sank my head further into the pillow to get away from his attempt to kiss me.

“Kane, really. Do you have an extra toothbrush I can borrow?” I asked as I slinked my way out from under him to the edge of the mattress.

He huffed and rolled to his side to give me the room I needed to stand. “In the bathroom. Top drawer. There should be a couple in there. Maw stocked it in case I ever had guests, but I have never had anyone stay the whole night so they never got used.”

“No one has stayed the whole night before? But I thought…” I stopped. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I could see the expression on Kane’s face darken before he scooted to sit on the edge of the bed.

He took my hands and pulled me between his knees. “Yes, as you know I have had girls over before, and as you also know I am not proud of my past. What I did with those girls was satisfy my needs and then send them on their way. Letting them stay the night would have complicated things and I didn’t want complicated. I wanted what I wanted and nothing more. You are the only person I have ever let spend the night. The only person I have held in my arms all night. You, Kelsey … only you.”

While the thought of him being with another girl tore me apart, and knowing that he was so cruel as to kick them out after getting what he wanted, horrified me. The fact that I could be his first in
anything
sent a tiny thrill through me. He would be my first of many things. I wanted him to at least have that with me too.