Breathe Into Me (21 page)

“Now that that’s done, come sit and talk with me.”

She led the way to a small corner table that had a pitcher of lemonade sitting there. We both took a seat and she filled up two glasses that sat beside the pitcher.

“That grandson of mine has not stopped talking about you. I think he might be in love.”

I choked on my lemonade. Kane … love me? That was just crazy. Though I had some crazy strong feelings for Kane, I wasn’t even sure the feelings were mutual. I could always hope they were, but until he said the words to me I would never know.

“Kane has never brought a girl here or even talked about one to us before. You must be something special.”

I could feel the blush creeping up my neck. I was nothing special. It made me happy to think that she believed I was but when she found out about my past it would be a hard fall. I should probably set her straight about it now, but I didn’t want to. For just a little while I wanted to be someone different. I wanted to be special.

“Kane is something else. I have never met anyone like him before,” I said in between sips of my lemonade.

“He sure is. That boy has not had an easy life. Losing his parents so young changed him. He went through a faze for a while where he wouldn’t let anyone close to him. He was out of control. The rage that was inside him about things he could not change, and the fact that he wouldn’t let himself grieve over the loss of his parents, had me fearing he was ruined. His first instinct was to react with his fists. I don’t know how many times I had to go to the school and talk to the principle about him fighting with the other kids. He actually broke one poor boy’s nose with a locker door once. We tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t let us in. As soon as he graduated he moved out and hardly came around for a while.”

I couldn’t believe the things she was telling me. This didn’t sound like the Kane I knew at all.

“Oh, sweetie, I didn’t mean to scare you. I can tell by that look on your face that you never expected to hear all of this. He is nothing like that boy anymore. From time to time we would hear the rumble of that dang motorcycle go by and we would see him park at the park down the street. His daddy used to go there when he was a teenager and had been taking Kane there pretty much since he was born. Then one day instead of driving right by our house he surprised us and pulled in. Ralph and I had been sitting on our porch and he walked right up to us and hugged us, apologizing for everything. He said that he knew that his parents would be disappointed in the way he had turned out, and it made him sick to think of the way they would look at him now … and from that day on he has been a completely different person. He goes to school, he works, and he still takes time to come see his old Paw and Maw.”

Now that was more like the Kane I had come to know. Considerate and kind. I knew Kane had a past, everyone does. Lord knows my past is far from fairytale perfect, but it hurt me to know that he went through so much pain and fury over his parents the way he did. It also made me hope, though. Looking at where he had been to where he is now sparked some faith that I too would one day heal. That I would be able to come to terms with what had happened.

“He has also changed since he met you.” Her words jarred me from my thoughts and she placed her hand on mine. “He has seemed happier these last few weeks. When he talks about you he lights up. I haven’t seen him light up like that since he was a boy. Sure he has come to terms with his parent’s death and has learned to live again, but you my dear, you make him
happy
again. And I thank you for that.”

I just smiled back at her. I didn’t really know what to say. Kane made me happy too. I never thought things would end up here but I was glad they were. I was glad Kane was in my life. I was surprised when I felt a set of warm lips brush against my cheek and when I turned, I found Kane’s gray eyes and his wide smile.

“Can I have her back now, Maw? Paw is pulling the steaks off the grill and everyone is already sitting at the tables out back. I came in here to get the two prettiest women I know.”

Emma got up from her chair and patted Kane on the cheek. “Such a kiss ass, but I love you anyway.”

I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in my laugh. I never thought I would hear the word
ass
come out of that little old lady, but boy was it funny. Emma headed out back where everyone was waiting, leaving Kane and me alone in the kitchen.

“So how did it go in here?” he asked as he jumped up on the counter and popped some kind of Emma’s sugary goodness that was sitting in a basket on the counter into his mouth.

I got up from my chair and went to stand between his legs. I just wanted to be near him, to hug him for a minute because of all the pain he’d gone through in his past. I was so happy that after some time he was able to find peace with it all.

When I was tucked between his legs, I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. I hadn’t had a
home
in quite some time, but whenever I was in Kane’s arms, I felt at home. I felt comfort and peace.

“Not that I am complaining about this, but did something happen? Did my Maw say something to you?”

I just shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him she had revealed some of his past to me. When he was ready to tell me about it, he would. “No. I just missed you and I am happy you brought me here today. Your family is great and I can see why you care about them so much, and it’s obvious they adore you.”

He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. When he pulled back he looked me in the eyes. “But come on, who wouldn’t adore me though?”

I laughed and shoved his chest hard, catching him by surprise and almost knocking him off the counter.

“What? I was being serious.” He winked.

“Come on, let’s go see if we can eat enough to fill our bellies as big as that head of yours.”

Kane hopped from the counter and wrapped his arms around my waist before lifting me into the air. “I don’t know how I ever went without you in my life, Kelsey Rien, and I sure as hell never want to be without you now that I have you.”

I softly kissed his lips as he held me suspended in the air. I knew exactly what he meant and I made myself a promise right there in his grandmother’s kitchen that I would learn to live again. There was too much good happening in my life right now for me to keep dragging everyone down with me. Like the tiny dandelion seeds, I had longed to be set free. Free from the memories, free from the pain … and the shame. Maybe Kane was that tiny puff of wind I had been waiting for to come and set me free.

We took our seats at the table out back with everyone else. I glanced around and finally spotted Jessi sitting a few seats down from me beside Landon. I had almost forgotten about them being here. There was a clatter and Kane’s grandpa stood up with his cup in hand.

“Just want to take a minute to welcome everyone and say how much we love having you people here for this every year.” He warmly smiled at everyone around the table. “We have been grilling out for this game as far back as I can remember. Probably since Paul—may god rest his soul—was a baby, and over the years some of the faces we were used to seeing would dwindle off and new ones would come.” I couldn’t miss his eyes glance in mine and Kane’s direction.

“But Emma and I would just like to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts for finding the time to spend with an old man and woman, and making these years more enjoyable. Now I’ll stop flapping my jaws and let you people eat. I’m pretty sure Landon down there is having a hard time keeping the drool running down his chin wiped away.”

The entire table erupted in laughter and you could hear Landon throwing a ‘Har har har’ over all the commotion as Ralph sat back down. I kept my eyes on him and I could have sworn he might have winked at me, but Kane began piling my pate full of food and Ralph and I lost eye contact.

After the game—which we won—everyone started to say their
goodbyes
and go home. When most of the crowd had gone, it was just Kane’s grandparent’s, Jessi, Landon, Kane and myself left. The men were outside putting away all the tables and chairs, and Jessi and I were in the kitchen helping Emma clean up and put away leftovers. We were just finishing up when the guys came through the back laughing and shouting at each other about what their favorite parts of the game had been.

“No, man, you’re wrong. He sacked the kid so hard I swear I could hear bones breaking through the TV.” Landon was shouting over Kane and Ralph.

“Yeah, Landon, we hear ya.” Kane rolled his eyes, then they landed on me and he gave me one of his deep dimple smiles.

“You laugh but I am serious! I would not want to get tackled by that dude. He’s a fuc—” he stopped what he was saying and glanced at Emma who had a wooden spoon pointed in his direction.

“You want to rephrase that last comment?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Sorry, Miss Emma, just a little caught up in the moment.” He sweetly smiled and came over to wrap her up in a hug.

“Good. Cause I had a pie all ready and waiting for you to take home. I would hate to have to take it away from you as punishment for using that ugly word.” She patted his cheek.

“Oh, Maw, I don’t know what you’re all worked up about. Didn’t you just call me a kiss ass not more than five hours ago?” Kane raised his eyebrow at her and in return got the wooden spoon pointed in his direction.

“Boy don’t you sass your Maw. I may be old but I will still wear your tail out with this spoon you hear me? The F word is just an ugly word, and the way you kids spill it out of your mouth all the time”—she stopped and began shaking her head back and forth—“Soap! All of you need a good bar of soap in the mouth and you would think twice about using such ugly words.”

“I know, Maw, I know,” Kane cooed as he walked over to her with his arms open wide for a hug; but instead he received a quick thump to the forehead with the spoon she had been threating everyone with.

“Ow! Maw! That hurt!” he said as he rubbed the top of his head.

“That was just for good measure. Let me hear the word fall from your lips and I will give you more than just that one little tap.”

We all couldn’t hold in our laughter at the sight of Kane rubbing his head and his grandma still pointing that spoon at him.

“All right, Em, I think you have given the young people a good enough life lesson.” Ralph cut in.

“Yeah, don’t use the F word or you will have little old ladies chasing you around with bars of soap and wooden spoons,” Landon finished and took off out of the room when Emma turned to look at him, throwing a ‘thanks for the food’ over his shoulder.

Jessi and I thanked Kane’s grandparents for having us and told them goodbye, but as Jessi walked out the door I felt a hand touch my arm and I stopped.

“I don’t know what pain you have gone through in your life, but I can see it all over your face.” It was Ralph that had stopped me. Kane was still in the kitchen with Emma. “Kane used to have the same hurt about him. There is nothing anyone can say to make that kind of pain go away. You either learn to deal and move on, or you let it consume you and you shut down. I don’t think its just coincidence that you and my grandson have found each other. Maybe he is what you have been needing all along to finally let go of the things that haunt you.”

I looked into his eyes and noticed they were the same gray as Kane’s; they just didn’t shine as bright. His looked duller from age and sadness. All the thoughts of Kane losing his parents had made me completely overlook the fact that these people had also lost a son. I found myself flipping the charms on my bracelet and Ralph gently took my hand to stop my nervous habit.

“All I am saying is when the time comes for you to finally let it all go … let it. Let Kane be there for you. We will be there for you too, Kelsey. It doesn’t take an idiot to see you are a special young woman. Even my grandson who can be a complete fool was smart enough to see it and scoop you up.” He smiled, which made me smile.

“Thank you. For … everything.” I meant more than just his hospitality and for welcoming me into their home, but I think he knew exactly what I was thanking him for without me having to say the words. He nodded and Kane came out of the kitchen with a bag of the leftovers Emma was sending him home with.

“You ready, beautiful?” he asked me and I nodded. He then gave his grandfather a quick hug. “I’ll be back over in a day or two to change the oil in Maw’s car.”

Ralph nodded. “I told you I can handle it but if you insist, go right ahead. You can be the one to get your hands dirty and I will just stand back and boss.”

“What? Like you don’t do that already?” Kane joked back and they both laughed.

“You’re exactly right, boy. Now get this pretty girl home before it gets any later.”

I gave Ralph a quick wave and Kane and I headed down the sidewalk. We were making our way to Landon’s truck which was still waiting on the curb. I figured since I rode over here with them I would just catch a ride back since he was taking Jess back to the dorms anyway; but when we got to the truck, Kane handed his bag of leftovers through the window to Jessi.