Breath of Fire (31 page)

I was still tied to Erik, and I felt his flinch as Julian’s words hit home.

Julian turned his back on Erik and took hold of my elbow, leading me toward the exit. I had to concentrate to put one foot in front of the other. I was numb.

“Is this what you wanted, Rena?” Erik yelled across the room. Pain laced his voice, and his breathing was erratic. “He could be the very one who took our father away from us. Yet you stay with him and condemn the rest of our people to be led to slaughter like cattle.”

“You’re wrong, Erik,” I said, turning around to face him. I knew what I had to do, and hated myself in that moment almost as much as I hated Julian.

“I am your Archos, and he is my lifemate. He is not the Destroyer. He is the one who will save us all. Go home, Erik.”

I held back the tears until I’d turned away from the room. The silence was deafening, and our footsteps echoed across the hard wood. It was the moment of truth for all the clans. They would have to decide if they were with us or against us. The line in the sand had been drawn.

“I will follow you into battle and fight at your side, Julian of the Belgae.”

I recognized the thickly accented voice and dreaded what was coming next. Feng took a step forward and bowed mockingly, his hands placed in the position of prayer above his chest. “I will fight beside you, but when the battle is over we will have our own to contend with. I challenge you, Julian of the Belgae, for the kingdom of our people, until the day the Promised Child is delivered.”

I stared at Feng and saw straight to his soul. To his future. And in it was Julian’s death.

Julian returned Feng’s bow and arrogantly raised his brow. There was a small smile upon his lips, and I realized he was elated at the prospect of a good fight.

“So shall it be.” Julian’s words rang like a death toll.

We exited the room. My legs shook and my heart thundered against my chest. Excitement shone in Julian’s eyes, and I decided then and there that I would never understand the male psyche. My mind and my heart were both frozen. I either needed a good cry or a good fight.

I picked the fight.

Chapter Twenty-Six

As soon as we crossed the threshold, I drew from Julian’s magic and slammed the doors shut with a resounding thud. I sealed them with our combined powers and ignored the pounding that came from the Drakán on the other side. They could all stay in there forever as far as I was concerned.

“Are you out of your mind?” I said.

The calmness of my voice was the complete opposite of the turmoil that wreaked havoc inside of me. My inner dragon roared and fire spread beneath my skin. But something kept me from bringing her completely out and unleashing her rage against Julian. My dragon’s anger was an aphrodisiac to Julian, and I knew he’d never get the point if I used her. So for the first time in my life, I sent her away.

But once I’d locked her away and could no longer feel my beast, magic still pulsed within me and filled me to bursting with the need to break free. It wasn’t power I was drawing from Julian. It was my own. And it felt comfortable inside my skin, like it had always been there. Maybe it had. The room dimmed to a soft glow around me, but the target of my rage stood out like a beacon.
Julian
. His eyes flared, and he called on his dragon, but for once I didn’t react as his animal came to the surface. It was as if I were no longer Drakán. And while there was a part of me that was terrified at the unknown, my body embraced it fully. And wielded it.

A great wind swept through the hallway from out of nowhere. Gale-force winds that tore priceless paintings from the walls. Antique vases crashed to the floor and shattered into tiny pieces. Julian’s hair swirled violently around his face. But he kept his balance against the rage of my storm and leaned into it.

“How could you do that to Erik? Don’t you have any compassion? You ridiculed him in front of everyone. Brought his greatest shame to light.”

The hallway was long and narrow, and we faced each other like gunslingers. My dragon wanted to come out and play, but I held her back, reveling in the new power that coursed through my body. This power didn’t need my dragon. Didn’t want her. And it felt wonderful.

“I did what I had to do,” he said. “Your brother is weak. And I would have lost ground with the other clans if I’d let him get away with questioning my authority. You know this. You’d been having the same thoughts about your own clan and their disobedience. Don’t question my authority. You agreed to this, lifemate.”

Thunder echoed in the narrow walkway and lightning crackled horizontally along the ceiling.

“What has come over you, Rena? You feel different.” Julian didn’t seem worried, only curious. “Your thoughts are projecting in shapes and colors. I can’t read you.”

“You’re no longer welcome in my head. And besides, you did this to me. You asked me to give you all my power last night, to open myself to everything. This is my power. And it has nothing to do with the Drakán. This power is not something that is yours to control. I’m free of you.”

“Not completely. You just aren’t as fully mine as you once were. But we are still lifemates, and there’s nothing you can do to change the fact other than sell your soul to the Shadow Realm.”

“It’s a tempting thought. You swore to protect my family, to treat them as your own.”

“And I’ve kept my promise. Erik is still alive.”

The violent wind rushed past me, the force of it aimed straight at Julian. But still he stood his ground. The chandeliers rattled and shook, and pieces of them slashed down around us like daggers. Another violent rumble echoed in the chamber and the windows cracked at the concussion of sound.

“Control yourself, Rena.” Julian stepped aside as the chandelier fell from the ceiling and shattered at his feet. “You know I had no choice.”

“And what about Feng? Could you not see your death in his soulless eyes, Julian? Could you not see mine? He is determined to see you dead. By any means possible.”

“Sometimes we see the future because it is true. And sometimes we see the future because it is what we wish it to be. Which is it for you? Do you have so little faith in my ability?”

“Faith!” I screamed. “You have given me nothing to have faith in.”

Heavy copper urns lined each side of the hallway. I put the force of my wind behind them and launched them at Julian’s body one by one. He put both hands in front of him and the urns bounced off the shields he’d placed around himself. They fell to the ground impotently.

“You have used me, insulted my intelligence, planned my future and risked us all, yourself included. My life force is connected to yours, and I do not wish to die because you are in the middle of a power struggle. What is there for me to have faith in? I am your lifemate, goddammit, and you have treated me no better than a whore.”

I brought my foot down hard on the wooden floor beneath me. It buckled with the force of an earthquake and rippled in waves toward Julian. I took advantage of him being slightly off balance and launched everything I could find that I hadn’t already broken—vases, lamps, and an oil painting of a nude woman who looked far too satisfied with herself. Glass nicked the side of his temple, and blood ran freely down his face, but he swatted the items away with his magic.

“I’m beginning to grow tired of your tantrum. What is this really about, Rena?” he asked.

My anger vanished suddenly. The wind stopped and my power died. The air was still and weighed heavily around us—the calm after the storm. I was exhausted and heartbroken, and I didn’t know how to get through to Julian. How were we ever supposed to have a relationship when he didn’t know the first thing about compassion, or love or trust? Tears fell silently down my cheeks, and I think I began to give up—on Julian, our people and myself. I didn’t have the strength left to guard my mind or my heart.

“You love me?” Julian asked, surprised.

Just the fact that he could be surprised over such a basic emotion told me all I needed to know. Julian was hopeless, and our relationship was less than that.

“Yes,” I said. “But it doesn’t matter. I believe the mating affected me differently than it did you. I can’t seem to help it, though I want so badly to hate you. And I damn the gods for making me feel this way. Our lives are a diversion to them. Entertainment. And I’m tired of being played with.”

“Don’t do this, Rena.”

“I’ve made my decision. I’ll fight beside you when we face the Destroyer. But if we live, I will do everything in my power to release this bond we have. The gods are going to owe me one. I’m going to leave you and go back to my people. I don’t know if my clan will have me after what I’ve done to them. I’m not sure it matters. But I will not stay to watch Feng kill you, and I will not live with a man who sees me as nothing more than a pawn in his game and feels even less for me.”

I turned and fled the hallway, leaving chaos behind me. I didn’t want to hear his response or his excuses. And I didn’t want to give him the chance to talk me out of leaving. Julian had a way with words that made me lose sight of my own convictions.

The fight didn’t help as much as I thought it would. I ended up having a good cry anyway.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

My luggage had been placed in the room next to Julian’s—the one we’d thoroughly destroyed with the best sex I’d ever had. As soon as I found the strength, I was going to collect my things and move to the other side of the castle. Or maybe one of the more private bungalows down on the mountain.

I stumbled into my room and locked the doors behind me, and I did the same to the door that connected my room to Julian’s. My dragon stirred in sympathy and I felt her sadness at what had just happened. I tried to comfort her, and drew my Drakán magic around me so we could both be warm, and then I flung it outward to shield my room from intruders—mainly Julian.

The little black phone Noah had given me began to warble. I laughed bitterly and let it go to voicemail. I barely had the energy to breathe, much less speak. As soon as it stopped ringing I picked up the phone and dialed for my messages. I only had the one.

“Rena—” Noah’s out-of-breath voice was full of panic. I hoped everything was all right because I couldn’t deal with anything else right now.

“Rena, you’ve got to call me back as soon as you get this. You’ve opened your powers, and I could feel them as if you were standing beside me. So could everyone else. Secrets be damned. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. You’re walking around with the equivalent of a pistol cocked and ready to fire. And the part of you you’ve kept hidden so long is now shining like a beacon for all to find you. There will be those who want to hunt you. And I promise, you won’t want to meet them. You need to get away. Hide.”

“Shit.” I rubbed my fingers in a circle at my temple to ease the headache that had formed there.

“I mean it, Rena. Call me back. I don’t care what’s going on with the Drakán. This is life or death. I can protect you. I’ll talk to you soon.”

The message ended and I realized it was the first time he’d openly acknowledged what I was. Not only did he know who I was, but he seemed to accept it. I looked at the buttons on the phone, trying to decide if I should call him back. I wasn’t overly concerned about the life-or-death situation—it was pretty much par for the course with me.

I decided I’d call him later, stripped out of my clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. I crawled between the cool sheets of my bed and snuggled into the soft mattress. My life was out of control. Shuddering sobs wracked my body, and I hid my face in my pillow. I cried away centuries of pain—Alasdair, Erik, Julian. The men in my life who always found me just useful enough but never truly loved me.

The tears finally took their toll and I fell asleep. It had been several days since I’d dreamed, and my stomach clenched in dread as the vision began. My dreams were only ever filled with others’ horrors, and I couldn’t handle it right now.

But when the vision came, the only person I saw was me.

It was as if a movie were playing out in my mind. The screen was split vertically down the middle by a line—half the screen was white—half was black. I stood in the center so I was covered by both light and dark. But I’d never seen myself as I looked. Half of my body—the half that stood on the dark side was covered in silver scales. My mating tattoo was visible and scrolled intricately among them. The other half of me—the half on the light side—was human. And naked. But there was something different.

Another tattoo decorated the other side of my torso. The writing wasn’t Drakán, but it was still beautiful. I didn’t recognize the symbols. It started at the shoulder and formed a sleeve down to my wrist. It swirled around my stomach and curled up to my breast and ended at the nipple. It glowed cerulean blue.

A black dragon flew above me and circled around a sun that looked exactly like the torq I’d given Julian. But the sun had Noah’s eyes. A midnight blue sky shining with stars covered all of us like a blanket. The stars shifted and spun until they formed the face of a woman. She was ethereally beautiful. Her hair shone silver in the moonlight and her black eyes twinkled with the stars. With her she brought the scent of the lotus flower. Her eyes were kind and her touch gentle, and then her face transformed into that of a hideous beast just before she devoured us all.

I cried out at the emptiness she brought. She was desolation. True nothingness. And she’d swallowed me whole.