Breaking Through (Atlanta #3) (8 page)

Jenna's lips tingled from their brief, sweet connection. He pulled her a half-inch closer and kissed her again with more pressure. Then, as she hoped he would, Luke pulled her solidly against his body and kissed her deeply. His fingers found their way up into her hair so he could cup her head and keep her lips against his. His other hand wrapped around the small of her back so he could pull her in even farther, arching her body into his.
More, please
.
 

Soon, both of his arms wrapped around her, holding her close in the strong warmth of his entire body. His slow, deep, kiss warmed her to the tips of her toes. The tenderness in his touch gave the butterflies a break, replacing their fluttering nervousness with warmth, comfort, and an excitement that belonged to Jenna alone. No butterflies were invited to this kiss.
 

She melted into his arms, giving herself over to him completely. He could have her lips however he wanted them. His tongue moved with hers slowly and smoothly and was
so
warm. He wrapped her up in his strength and kept the kiss going for an eternity, holding her up. She could feel the planes of his thick muscles along every surface of her. Her hands rested on his strong chest while those muscles flexed gently around her. Anger or not, this man's kiss was beautiful and gentle.
 

She understood the control he exercised while he held her. His bad-boy aura was well-earned, she knew, and he probably never offered "gentle" or "sweet" to his dates before. Jenna was blown away that she inspired such tenderness from him. Half of her wanted him to drop the gentle kiss and release all his obvious passion, but the other half remained happy to be lost in this long, sweet moment in his arms.
 

After forever, he ended the kiss with another sweet brush of his lips. Still with his eyes closed, Luke rested his forehead against hers and took a slow, deep breath. His arms released her, only enough to move his hands gently to her face, resting her cheeks in their strong warmth. He pulled her in for one more deep kiss before letting her go. Without a word, he took her hand again and walked with her for a long, quiet while.
 

Jenna felt nothing but peaceful excitement. The combination made no sense on a logical level, but the contradiction settled into her body with ease anyway. She basked in the lingering glow of his kiss and allowed Luke to lead her around the park and back to his motorcycle.
 

Still silently he helped her onto the bike and drove them to her apartment. Not a word was spoken after their amazing kiss until he stood at her door and turned her to face him again.

"Jenna…" he breathed, searching her eyes and seeming at a loss for words.

She smiled at him. She didn't mind his silence because she didn't know what to say, either. She was certain he felt the same depth of connection she did. He wouldn't have been able to kiss her that way if he didn't.
 

"I get it," she said with a smile, letting him off the hook.

Luke let out a half-laugh at himself and gave her a genuine smile.
 

"Good."
 

He leaned down to kiss her again with the same gentle intensity as before. When the kiss broke this time, he clenched his jaw before he opened his eyes. "I better go," he smiled. "Can I call you?"

Jenna nodded with a shy, warm smile. He leaned down to kiss her with one more soft moment on her lips before he turned and descended her stairs lightly. Jenna stood on the platform by her door and watched him pull the helmet over his head, start his bike, and speed away. Even from a distance, the strong muscles of his back stood out under his tight t-shirt. Her eyes lingered on the bold tattoos of his arm for as long as she could see him down her street. Luke Baylor was the definition of beautiful badass.

She closed her eyes for a moment and leaned against her door, trying to convince herself all of this was real. A smile played across her face as she remembered every sweet bit of the evening. Of course this was real. Her body wouldn't hum like this if Luke hadn't kissed her with such careful, gentle intensity.
 

She let herself into her apartment, changed into her favorite pajamas and dropped happily into her bed. She let her mind wander through every minute of her time with Luke until drowsiness took over. By then, the reality of the evening melded with sleep-induced fantasies of their next time together. Beautiful visions swirled through her waning consciousness and inspired wonderful dreams of Luke Baylor.

CHAPTER FOUR

Leaving Jenna at her door was one of the most difficult moments of his life. He only wanted more of her body, her smile, her lips, her touch…
 

Every ounce of his self-control was required to walk away. The restraint was worth the effort he knew, because she was too important to push into sex on the first date. First-date-sex was usually his favorite kind, but also started a fiery, one-night affair like his hot fling with Miranda and countless others where he only thought with his dick.
 

Jenna stood out. Her beautiful, shy warmth was worth his restraint…that painful fucking restraint. The kiss in the park…that amazing kiss…he felt her give in. Every soft ounce of her belonged to him in that moment. He was sure he could've had her body after their date. She would have said yes. Why the hell was he waiting?
 

Easy. He didn't want to fuck this up like he did almost everything else. She affected him on every level, and he didn't want to lose their indescribable connection for some quick, easy sex. Like he expected, she owned nearly all of him now, so he'd be what she needed, no matter how difficult…just in the hopes he could keep her.

His restraint paid off, though, because at her door, she understood. She understood their connection, his desire, and his reason for holding back.
"I get it,"
she said so sweetly for him when he couldn't find the right words, and he could tell she did by the look in her eyes. Words never came to him easily, and she got him anyway.
 

He considered the perfection of his time with her the whole ride home, but also the one thing which bothered him. Because of their common acquaintances, his anger was brought center stage under a big, ugly spotlight. She didn't seem to care, but still. His darkness wasn't a part of him he wanted her to see. If he was honest with himself, he had hoped to keep his darkness hidden forever, no matter how impossible.
 

And what to do about a relationship? He knew that's where things could head with Jenna. They both wanted more time together which was both obvious and unbelievable. His hold-back stemmed from his many issues. The worst issue was his anger, even if he was good at hiding it. Too much ugliness lived in his brain. Some of the darkness came from his wild days as a teenager when he hurt his family. Some of the darkness grew from recent months when he beat up strangers in bars to relieve stress. Most of the darkness, however, permeated his entire body from his time in Afghanistan. Two tours of duty in that country left him with far too much ugly shit in his head. He didn't want any of his internal nightmare touching Jenna, Sophie, or anyone else.
 

Luke was pretty sure, though, that his training with Marcus would keep those issues at bay. He had the physical stress release with fighting in addition to Marcus's version of therapy and lessons on control. Luke wished those issues didn't exist, but they were his to deal with alone. He could handle them.

What he couldn't keep Jenna away from were his social issues. One, he was a father. Sophie and Jenna adored each other, so that wouldn't really be a problem…until Miranda entered the equation.
 

Miranda could make Jenna miserable for several reasons, including jealousy. CB didn't love Luke, but seemed to think she owned him anyway. She would resent Jenna simply for being in a relationship with him, and would resent Jenna even more for any time spent with Sophie. CB's bitterness would only get worse when she realized how much Sophie and Jenna had fun together.

Luke couldn't protect Jenna unless they hid the relationship from CB. They'd have to hide completely. Sadly that would mean keeping the too-chatty Sophie away, too. She'd innocently clue Miranda in immediately. What a shame he had to protect both of them. Sophie would have to miss out on time with Jenna. Every child should feel adoration from as many people as possible.
   

Moments after considering those options, though, he realized something important. No matter how much he cared about Jenna already, he
couldn't
let Sophie get close, regardless of CB's involvement. Luke was sure he'd inevitably fuck up and lose Jenna, which would cause Sophie to lose her, too. He couldn't set his little girl up for that kind of devastation.
 

The best way to protect everyone involved was to keep the relationship a secret from everyone, even Marcus. The fewer people who knew, the better for Jenna. How insanely difficult would secrecy be with common friends? Would the group ever connect the dots? Frustrated, Luke gritted his teeth and tensed under the anger that filtered into his consciousness strongly. He hadn't realized how peaceful he had been with Jenna until all his darkness surfaced again.
 

Even if they were able to pull off a stealth relationship, how much would he hurt Jenna by suggesting such a thing? Would she think he was ashamed? Would she feel used? Dismissed? He hated the thought of hurting her in any way.
 

Suddenly he realized he was already such a fuck-up, simply by making a connection with her in the first place. He would inevitably hurt her, no matter how carefully he tried to avoid doing so. He brought way too much baggage along with him. He never should have asked her out in the first place.
Selfish bastard.
Even though he wanted to go home, he needed the gym again. Desperately.

Hoping Marcus or Bill would be there to let him in, he bypassed his new apartment and went straight to the gym. He had a serious need for some tension release, and the gym was the only place to go that wouldn't land him in jail or in bed with a random chick…both of which would hurt Jenna, too.
Fuck
! He was like poison to his angel, no matter what he did at this point. He only wanted to keep her as his angel, not hurt her.

As he approached the gym, he thanked his lucky stars the office light was on. He pulled right up to the entrance and parked his bike on the sidewalk against the office-wall of the gym. The blinds were shut, so he rapped his knuckles on the glass, hoping whomever was there would give him a chance for a workout, even this late on a Friday night.

A short moment later Marcus came to the door with confusion on his face and let him in. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm a fuck-up," Luke answered on his way to the locker room.

"Well, deal with it fast," he called back. "I'm leaving in a half-hour for work."

"Shit," Luke grumbled to himself, changing quickly so he could be out on the floor beating on everything he could for as long as he could. He didn't think thirty minutes would be enough. But then again, why would he deserve any more? Sometimes he felt he shouldn't get any relief at all.
 

The anger surrounding every dark part of him should remain stuck inside as a reminder not to fuck up anything else like he already did with Jenna. But since he was here anyway, at least he could cause his knuckles to burn again. Marcus wasn't getting anywhere near him with the tape. Not tonight. Luke wasn't training; Luke was here for self-punishment and release.

When he was out on the floor, Marcus stood there with his hands on his head, eyeing Luke like he so often did trying to figure out what his problem was for the moment.

"Don't," Luke uttered to him as he started in on the heavy bag.
 

"You know me better than that," Marcus replied when he steadied the canvas for him. "I'm going to."

Luke clenched his teeth and pounded away, offering primal grunts as his only means of communication. Marcus let him work through some of his aggression before speaking again.
 

"Knee-kicks," he instructed.

Without thinking, Luke threw his knee up into the bag with insane force, using every single muscle of his legs, abs, and back in one smooth, strong motion.

"Nice," Marcus nodded with approval. "Three more, then switch legs."

Luke, who had gone almost full-on caveman with his punches, slowly came to focus as Marcus encouraged him to think through his release rather than give in to his rage. As much as Marcus's intervention pissed him off, Luke knew Marcus was handling him like a pro. Luke silently appreciated his help.

"Speed bag," Marcus said.
 

Reluctantly, Luke walked away from the blunt canvas to a piece of equipment which required more precision. Marcus was too good at this, and would have Luke talking in no time.
Fuck
. How was he going to get out of this?

"Don't even think about it," Marcus said, reading his mind already. "You're
going
to talk. I'm not leaving."

"You won't stay. You'll miss your shift," Luke grunted while he smoothly pummeled the speed bag. He knew better than to sound smug, but there was no way Marcus would skip work. His night-shift janitorial job was needed to buy an engagement ring, plus he wrote to his girlfriend each night when he cleaned her office desk. That's how the two of them met, and they never missed a night with those messages. Luke always thought that sounded cheesy, but after tonight he understood.
 

Marcus broke his thoughts and proved him wrong with one easy sentence about missing work…actually,
not
missing work, damn it.
   

"No problem," he tossed out lightly. "I'll go in late for my shift and skip my three a.m. lunch break. I suggest you talk now so I don't have to…cause I'll take it out on your ass tomorrow if I don't get to eat tonight."

Luke gritted his teeth. Sometimes he really hated Marcus's way of doing things. He didn't have much of a choice now but to tell him at least something to appease him.