Breaking the Rules (21 page)

Julia slapped her brother and turned her attention back to Carly. “So, as you were saying...you're going to live at Gran's for a while?”

“No,” Adam said firmly. Carly looked over at him, knowing this was a discussion they needed to have, and they needed to do it soon. She wasn't sure if she was ready to move in with him. Sure, they had spent plenty of nights together, and Adam had left some of his stuff at her apartment when they first started dating, but that was different. Actually moving in and having everything she owned in his house seemed like a huge step.

“We'll see,” Carly said, glancing over to Adam, begging him with her eyes to let it go for the time being.

“And what about work?”

Carly bit her lip. She still worried about whether or not she was doing the right thing, leaving New York and the opportunities she knew were co
ming her way the following year. “Well, Adam got me an interview at Little Theater in Madison. They're looking for someone to lead the children's workshops and eventually take over operations.”

“Is that something you want to do? I thought you wanted to direct someday.” Carly knew Julia wasn't trying to be a downer by asking this. When they were girls, directing in New York was all Carly ever talked about, so to come home and take over business operations of a children's
theater was a huge deal.

Carly stared out the window as the cab inched
away from the curb and down the crowded streets of New York. As much as she was looking forward to getting on with the next phase of her life, one that hopefully included Adam for a long time, she was going to miss the city.

“Yeah,” Carly sighed. “I think it might be. It's not something I ever thought about, but I think it'll be a
good move for me. Gran's getting older and I want to make sure there's someone there to look after her. And it'll be good to have real friends again.”

“You have lots of friends here,” Julia stated. Of
course, she would think that, given how much time Carly spent out of the apartment. But they weren't friends like the ones she had back home. Her friends from Brooklyn would drop everything to help each other. Her New York friends would help as long as it was convenient for them or if there was something in it for them.

***

The cab pulled up in front of the apartment, and everyone except Julia raced to get out. She was going to meet with her boss to break the news that she was leaving. Carly watched as Micah and Adam raced up the stairs, both of them in a hurry to get the apartment packed and get on the road. She shook her head, wrapping one arm around Caleb's shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.

“Do me a favor?” She asked quietly.

Caleb looked at her, his brown eyes obscured by his disheveled hair. Maybe now that there would be women in his life, he'd get to the barber a bit more often. “What's that?”

“Don't grow up to be like them. Got it?” They both laughed and continued up the remaining four flights of stairs. This was definitely something she wouldn't miss about New York.

The smell of coffee and fresh baked cinnamon rolls wafting through the house
woke Adam from an uncomfortable sleep. He was fairly certain the mattress on the full-size bed he and Carly fell into when they arrived after midnight was pushing fifty years old with its broken springs and musty aroma. He had tried to convince Carly that they should go to his house for the night, but she was adamant that she wanted to spend her first Christmas morning back in Wisconsin at Gran Turner's house.

“Merry Christmas, Peanut,” he whispered, trailing kisses from her collarbone up to her ear.

“Too early,” Carly grumbled. “Go away.” She pulled the handmade quilt over her head, burrowing herself into the middle of the bed.

Adam reached under the bedding, tracing circles along Carly's bare torso. As he thought about how different his life was from six months earlier, he decided he didn't care where they slept or how uncomfortable the bed was. As long as he could wake up next to Carly every morning, he would wake up happy.

“Come on, baby. It smells like Gran already has breakfast on the table.” He laughed as she batted at his hands, trying desperately to get him to let her sleep.

Carly poked her head out from under the covers. For a moment, she looked confused by the fact that she was waking up in her childhood bedroom. “Merry Christmas, baby.” He said again once he was looking into her brilliant green eyes.

“Merry Christmas,” she replied, her facing breaking out into a wide grin. She bounded out of the bed and raced down the hall for a shower.

When Adam reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard two voices coming from the kitchen. He had managed to forget that Karen, Micah's ex-wife, was living with Gran. That was sure to make Christmas dinner
interesting. Not wanting any surprises, he pulled out his cell phone.

Adam: Hey does J know that K is living here?

Micah: You're at Gran's?

Adam: Yeah. So?

Micah: Yeah, we talked about it. She's willing to deal since K is Caleb's mom. That way he has both of us there for Christmas.

Adam: You better not screw up with her again. You seriously don't deserve J.

Micah: Yeah, I know. Same could be said for you, putz. Cya in a few hours.

“Good morning, Gran.” Adam hugged Carly's grandmother and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He loved the fact that there wouldn't be that awkward “getting to know the family” phase in his relationship.

Gran wrapped her arms around Adam's waist, holding onto him as if he was her own grandchild. “Thank you, Adam. Thank you for everything.”

While Adam wasn't sure what she was talking about, he had a feeling Carly had talked to her grandmother to let her know she was moving home. He was surprised to find out that Carly had let her know they were coming home for Christmas but hadn't mentioned the fact that it was a permanent move.

“You're welcome.”

He tried to ignore Karen as he poured himself and Carly each a cup of coffee. While she and Micah were getting along, and Micah said Julia was okay with her being part of their Christmas celebration, Adam wasn't as forgiving. This woman had caused his sister a tremendous amount of pain, and he wasn't ready to forgive her.

“Merry Christmas, Adam,” she said when it became painfully obvious Adam wasn't going to engage with her.

“Back at ya,” Adam said, raising the steaming mug to his lips. “Gran, if you want to take a seat, I can clean up for you.”

He was amazed to see that Gran had not only made rolls for breakfast, she already had the ham ready to go in the oven, potatoes soaking in a pot of water waiting to be boiled, homemade dinner rolls rising on the counter and green bean casserole ready for the oven. It wasn't even eight in the morning
, and she had done more than most people did all day. He knew that was where Carly got her drive and ambition.

“Nonsense, child,” Gran scolded.
“You're a guest in this house; I won't have you doing the cleaning.”

“Gran, you're making dinner for nearly a dozen people and you're only related to one of us. I think we
should all be happy to pitch in with the cleaning.” He looked over at Karen, annoyed that she was so comfortable sitting there watching Gran do all the work.

“Oh, Karen did most of this. All I did was the rolls, and that's because no one except Carly will get my recipe for those.” She looked over to Karen, “No offense, but it is passed from one generation to the next in our family.”

“None taken,” Karen said, holding her hands in the air. “Adam, if you want, you and I can finish up the dishes after you eat. Gran told me the good news that Carly's home to stay. Maybe those two can sit down and talk since they haven't had much time in the past few years.”

Was this the same woman who hired someone to grab Julia as she walked into a dark bathroom so they
could “talk” to her? Yes, Karen had apologized for everything and said that she was on drugs at the time, but that didn't change the fact that she had managed to violate Julia twice in less than twenty-four hours.

“Thanks, Karen, but I think I can handle it.”

***

Carly stared out the window as she dried her long blond
e hair. Seeing a blanket of snow covering the fields outside her bedroom reminded Carly how much she loved the peace she felt on her grandparents' farm. Even when the snow first landed on the ground in New York, it seemed dull and gray compared to here where blinding white snow coated everything.

Gran
sat bundled up on the front porch, drinking a cup of hot tea by the time Carly finished getting ready. She grabbed a spare quilt out of the cedar chest so she could enjoy the morning with her grandmother.

“It's good to have you home,”
Gran said softly as she held Carly tight.

“It's good to be home,” Carly admitted. “I didn't realize how much I missed it here until recently.”

Gran nodded. “Yes, falling in love will do that to a person.” Her eyes twinkled as she laughed. “I'm assuming you'll be moving in with that fine young man?”

“I'm not sure yet.”
Despite it being their main topic of conversation since she had told Adam she wanted to move back to Wisconsin, she was still struggling with where to live. She wanted to live with him, but she feared that was moving too fast.

Gran shook her head, looking into the distance as she always did before saying something she felt was
important. “Carly, that boy loves you, and you love him. Go. Be with him.”

Carly almost choked on her coffee at her grandmother's advice. She expected Gran to push
her to stay on the farm until she was married, not wanting her only grandchild living in sin. “You'd be okay with that?” Her voice cracked as she said the words.

Gran was right. She did love Adam, so much it freaked her out most of the time. And she
really
loved their house.
Their house.

She knew the decision
had already been made the moment she realized that she already considered his house as theirs. When Adam first called it theirs, she felt sick to her stomach. At thirty years old, she had never lived with a man. Okay, so there was Aaric, but gay men don't count. She was very careful to keep a safety net where she could run to if the relationship became too deep, too committed, too real. And now, she was sitting on her grandmother's front porch on Christmas morning, getting ready to have dinner with his family and hers like so many other families.

This was her new normal
, and she liked it. She liked not being scared of the what-ifs in life. She knew that had it not been for Adam pushing when necessary, she never would have gotten past her issues. Where she began didn't matter as long as she didn't let the past keep her from her happy ending.

The sun was shining as Carly wound her way down the country road home.
Home.
It had been five months since she moved back to Wisconsin and she was in love with everything. She had a wonderful man who supported her in whatever she wanted to do, friends who were finally getting back to being as close as they had been in school and Gran was doing well.

The most surprising part of Carly's life was her job. When she took the management position with the children's theater, she worried she
would eventually feel like she had given up on her dreams. Instead, she was learning every day how much she loved introducing theater to children. With summer coming, she knew it would be busy with all the summer camps, but she was looking forward to the chaos.

Before pulling into the long driveway, Carly stopped at the side of the road to pull the mail out of the mailbox. As she crossed back to her car, she flipped through the envelopes and magazines. In the middle of the stack was a letter addressed to her with no return address. The postmark was Fargo, North Dakota. She tried to think of anyone she knew in Fargo who knew where she lived but came up blank.

As soon as she was inside, curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to get dinner cooking, but this letter had her intrigued.

Dear Carly,

I thought long and hard about whether or not to write this letter. I'll understand if you stop reading, but I hope you won't.

By now, you're a grown woman. For all I know, you have a family of your own. If you do, I can only hope you haven't made any of the mistakes I made with you. I'm sure your grandparents did everything they could to make sure you were a great person.

Carly, the biggest regret I have is leaving you. I was scared. I was addicted. I was weak. I was anything but the person you needed me to be as your mother. Instead of leaning on my family for help, I ran away from my problems. I ran away from you. That's not to say you were a problem because you're one of the first things I did right in my life, but it was all too much.

I can't expect you to forgive me for leaving you over 25 years ago. I can say I'm sorry; I am and will be until the day I die, but that doesn't change what I did to you.

I've been in touch with your grandmother
, and she gave me your address. We'll be coming out to visit in June, and I would like to sit down with you so we can talk.

I also want you to meet your half-sisters.
They know about you, and they are loyal to you without having met you. It's because of them that we're making this trip. They're both upset with me for keeping you from them for so many years.

I love you, baby girl. I always have. Please know that, at the time, I did what I did because I knew it would give you the best chance at having a
good life. The type of life I could never give you.

Love,

Your mom

Carly stared at the paper for a long time. After all these years, and it was closer to twenty-seven years, why now? Sure, she said it was because Carly's sisters wanted to meet her, but why? Had their mother just told them about her? Were they young enough that they worried she would leave them too?

***

Adam could see Carly through the sliding glass door when he came home. Normally she would come barreling toward him when he got home. Sure, it was pathetically cheesy, but that's who they had become as a couple. He loved it when she would jump into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Today, she didn't flinch at the screech of the door sliding along the track.

She jumped when Adam wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissing her cheek.

“Hey, everything okay?” Adam was trying to stay calm, but something obviously had Carly on edge. He couldn't remember ever seeing her this way.

Carly didn't respond, other than to shake her head furiously. She handed him the letter
, and he sat down next to her to read.

Every word that he read made his blood pressure spike. They had just gotten to the point where Carly wasn't waiting for him to leave her. Now, this woman who didn't give a damn about Carly for most of her life wanted to “sit down and talk?”

His throat was thick by the time he finished. Swallowing hard, he brushed the hair away from Carly's face to see tears streaming down her cheeks.

“You don't have to see her, you know?” He said softly. No matter what she decided, Adam would support her.

“I know.” She didn't look at him. He could feel Carly internalizing everything. She was shutting down on him. “But my sisters...”

Adam rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, giving her time to continue.

“Adam, I have sisters. Two of them.” Adam couldn't tell how she felt about that. He knew she had struggled with being an only child, but to find out you're not an only child at thirty couldn't be easy.

“I know,” he whispered.

“I need to meet them.” It was the first time since he had walked in that she sounded sure of anything. He was proud of his girl. “You'll be there, right?”

Adam leaned in to kiss her. “There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I will
always
be there when you need me.”