Breaking Pointe (2 page)

I'll admit it, by ballet class on Monday afternoon, I felt a bit lazy.

Not a sloth, like Aidan when he comes home from school and steals the couch for an hour while he scoffs Nana's babakau (Fijian pancakes) and plays Call of Duty.

But just a little bit over it all, like,
there's nothing that special about today, it's just another ballet class, it probably won't matter if I don't give 100 per cent.

Here's the truth – even when I only give 90 per cent, I'm still one of the best in class.

Unlike poor Paige, who was getting frustrated because Ms McGlone kept yelling at her to maintain her turn-out.

‘Better yet, turn around and walk out,' Jasmine whispered to her when no one was looking.

Paige went red.

‘Better still, don't bother turning around, just fall flat on your face,' I said to Jasmine as I
chassé
'd past. ‘It'll be an improvement.'

We were practising our
sissonnes
, which is a series of jumps where you jump from two feet onto one, when Ms McGlone dropped her big news of the week. She has a habit of giving these huge info dumps when we're in the middle of doing something hard. As if that isn't torture enough.

‘Who wants to hear some good news?' she asked.

‘I do!' said Jasmine, like a total suck.

I swapped glances with Paige. Paige doesn't have a mean bone in her body, but Ashley and Ellie don't take ballet, so I've got to bounce off Paige whenever Jasmine does something annoying.

‘Anyone else?' asked Ms McGlone.

Most of the other girls said yes, but I didn't. I don't play up to the teachers.

‘So you all remember we have the Southern Ballet Eisteddfod coming up, yes?'

‘Oh yes,' said Jasmine, ‘three weeks from Saturday. I wrote it on my kitchen calendar.'

‘You're so organised,' said Jasmine's best friend, Tove.

I exchanged another look with Paige.

‘Well, the good news is you'll all be in the Under 12s section,' said Ms McGlone.

‘Hooray!' said Jasmine.

I snorted my amusement. Who says hooray?

‘We'll be doing the same dance from the last eisteddfod, the Fire and Ice one.'

The Fire and Ice ballet is something Ms McGlone came up with: there is an Ice Queen who has a band of followers. She freezes them to make them as emotionless as her, because her heart has frozen over, and she can't bear anyone to have feelings if she can't.

But along comes the Fire Maiden, who melts the followers and then tries to melt the Ice Queen as well. But the Fire Maiden only manages to melt her heart, and the Ice Queen can't take it – it burns her up, so she rips her heart out. But then the Ice Queen dies because that last bit of love and warmth in her heart was all that was keeping her alive.

I bet you know who the Ice Queen was.

No, not me – Jasmine!

I was the Fire Maiden. It was a part I really loved playing, especially because I got to triumph over Jasmine, if only in dance.

‘I want to rework the end slightly,' said Ms McGlone. ‘All your movements should be flowing and beautiful when you're melting, rather than that sharp, shocked look we had before. Girls, are you still okay to play the leads?' She looked at Jasmine and me.

‘Of course,' said Jasmine, ‘I've been practising that dance in my sleep.' She turned around and beamed at everyone, as if she really was a queen.

‘Yeah,' I just said, shrugging it off as if it was no big deal.

‘You could at least be excited,' Tove muttered.

I let my eyes slide across her and away, and she turned back around and took a step closer to Jasmine.

Of course I was excited. But I wasn't going to do a Jasmine and be all uppity about it. Yuck.

It wasn't until later, when we were in the middle of our
fouetté
practice, that my stupid head caught up to my body and put everything together.

Athletics carnival. Basketball final. Ballet eisteddfod.

All on the same day.

‘And then there's this really cool bit when the lights come back on and we're all facing the back, and each of us is doing one small movement, like with our fingers, or knees, or ears –'

‘How do you just move your ears?' asked Ashley.

‘You know what I mean,' huffed Ellie, hands on her hips.

Ashley tried to move her ears but all she made was an ugly facial expression. ‘Not really,' she said.

‘Benji can wiggle his ears,' said Paige. ‘It is possible.'

Benji is Paige's ballroom dance partner. He's also in Ashley's hip hop crew. We all think that Paige has a crush on him, but you would never get her to admit it.

‘Okay whatever, so not an ear, a shoulder or something – it doesn't matter. Anyway, so there are all these little movements going, right …' Ellie babbled on about her musical theatre class, which was lucky for me, because I had so much going round and round in my head.

Basketball. Athletics. Ballet.

Trouble.

I was so mad that the three things I was most looking forward to had ended up being on the same day.

I don't know who or what I was mad at exactly, but my body had that energy where if somebody looked at me the wrong way I might explode.

The heel of my jazz shoe got caught as I tried to slip it on, and that made me so angry I threw the shoe across the room.

Ellie, Ashley and Paige went silent and looked at me.

‘Oh sorry, are we boring you?' teased Ashley.

‘Not every story has to be about you,' added Ellie, only half-joking.

‘Are you okay?' asked Paige.

She picked up my shoe and placed it back next to me very carefully, like she was handling a puppy.

It was so silly I let out a snort of laughter.

‘I'm fine,' I said, getting up and pulling my warm-up sweater over my head.

‘Are you sure?' said Paige.

‘Did the shoe try to steal your
sole
?' joked Ashley.

‘Or just your good mood?' added Ellie.

Now I felt ganged-up on. ‘I'm fine, really,' I said. ‘I'll see you out there.'

I grabbed the shoe and headed down the dark hall to the jazz studio. It was empty when I walked in, so I went over to the far corner and stood at the barre.

I
could
do them all. The athletics carnival would start in the morning and, if I was lucky, my events would be over by the afternoon, and I could come back in time for the basketball grand final, which started at four, and then I could go to the ballet eisteddfod in the evening.

It would be pretty tight, but I'd already be warmed up, so I wouldn't have to waste time doing that.

How tired would I be, though? Especially because the carnival would be an early start at
Olympic Park, and then I'd have to travel to get there, which was ages away.

Plus, I knew Nana wouldn't be happy having to rush about driving me everywhere, especially when she was trying to look after my little sister, Del.

But why shouldn't I be able to do it all? I'd worked really hard to get to the top in athletics and basketball and ballet, so I deserved good things to happen to me.

And now I wasn't supposed to take them?

I really just wanted to show everyone. I hear it all the time: from Silver Shoes or Stacey the coach or my teachers at school – ‘Riley, you need to choose, you can't do everything, you'll wear yourself out, blah blah blah.'

Well, I didn't want to choose, and I didn't see why I should.

I would go to the athletics carnival, and I would get first in all my events.

I would go to the basketball grand final, shoot most of the goals and win the trophy.

And I would go to the ballet eisteddfod, and be the best Fire Maiden Silver Shoes has ever seen.

I would be amazing.

Then why did I feel so sick?

‘
Entrechat, entrechat
!' Ms McGlone yelled at me.

I jumped into the air, beat my legs together and came back down, but when I landed my foot rolled and I stumbled.

‘No good,' said Ms McGlone. ‘Again!'

My foot twinged but I kept my face blank and did the move again, this time managing not to stuff up.

‘Finally,' I heard Jasmine mutter under her breath.

Ms McGlone had cornered us after jazz. She wanted to quickly go over our duo for the eisteddfod, so Jasmine and I would remember it in time for our next ballet class.

‘You two are the main dancers,' she told Jasmine and me, ‘and you need to lead by example. In dancing and in attitude. You can't go to our extra practice on Friday not knowing what's going on.'

Ms McGlone likes to win when we go to competitions, whereas Miss Caroline, the owner of Silver Shoes, is happy just to see all her girls having a go on stage.

Ms McGlone used to be in the ballet corps for the Royal Academy of Ballet, but a knee injury meant she had to step down and take up teaching instead.

She used to teach at Dance Art Academy, Silver Shoes' main dance competition. But she and another teacher had a massive
disagreement, so Ms McGlone left and came here.

She is very strict and serious. Some of the girls think she's a bit stuffy compared to the younger, more easy-going teachers like Miss Caroline or the musical theatre teacher, Billie. Then of course there's Jay, the hip hop teacher, who everyone loves.

But I admire Ms McGlone. She doesn't like mucking about – she wants her students to take pride in their dancing. I can relate to that. Why would I bother doing anything if I didn't strive to be the best?

‘Relax your arms, Riley,' Ms McGlone told me now. ‘Watch yourself in the mirror. All your movements must come from the heart. All your limbs must be an extension of this great burning passion at the Fire Maiden's core.' She pointed at the mirror. ‘Do it, now.'

I started to move like she told me, although I felt a bit silly at first.

‘Keep going,' she said. ‘Jasmine, you are the opposite. Your movements must be sharp and strong. They must act as a defence to your vulnerable heart; they must show how all your joints have locked in place because your heart can no longer pump blood, only ice.'

Ms McGlone likes to narrate our dances. Sometimes I catch the other girls rolling their eyes at her, but I love it.

It's so beautiful to be able to convey with your body the words that someone is speaking, and to capture their emotions. ‘You have to circle each other, the ice and the heat:
promenade
around,
chassé
,
chassé
, stop, look,
relevé
, pause. You see each other. Hold the look, don't throw it away. The arms float down and
the Ice Queen's subjects will spill in around you.'

Ms McGlone watched us, her face soft. When we were done her posture stiffened once again, and she gave a quick, brisk, clap. ‘Good, now once more, let's go.'

My feet felt like there were knives scraping away at the bones, but I went back to my starting position. I would never bail out before Jasmine.

What I should have said to Ms McGlone right then was: ‘I don't know if I can make the dance eisteddfod in time, do you maybe want to consider someone else for the Fire Maiden?'

But watching us side by side in the mirror, I felt like there was no way I could let Ms McGlone down, she was so stern and sad and full of love for dance.

So I made myself like the Ice Queen: stubborn, determined, and cold.

I wondered how much it would take to make me crack.