Break My Fall (38 page)

Opening my eyes I scanned the room, there were machines everywhere, and everything was white.

“Hey sleepy head.”

I turned my head to see Cam sitting in the chair next to my bed.

“Cam?”

She leaned over to me and hugged me tightly.

“You had us scared for a while there Lee,” she chuckled, her voice laced with concern.

“You’ve been out with twelve hours.”

I pulled myself up slowly, wincing from the sharp pain in my lower stomach.

“What happened to me?”

Cam dropped her eyes from mine, “Maybe I should get a nurse to explain it?”

I grabbed her arm.

“No Cam, please, I want to hear it from you.”

She nodded slowly, straightening in her chair.

Leaning over she grasped my hand in both of hers.

I sucked in a sharp breath; this was bad.

“Do you remember the ride in the ambulance Lee? You were awake for parts?”

I thought back and my mind froze on one word.

“They said I was pregnant? That I was losing my baby?”

Oh god I wanted to keel over.

“I didn’t know Cam, I swear I hadn’t a clue,”I paused as tear fell down my cheek, “This is my fault.”

Cam squeezed my hand, “No Lee, this was not your fault; the doctors said you had what they call a concurrent ectopic and intrauterine pregnancy.”

Looking at my confused face she smiled kindly, “It means, you were carrying twin’s Lee, and one of them was in you tubes instead of your womb, that’s what caused to get so sick.”

She shivered, “You nearly died Lee. The surgeons had to remove you one of your fallopian tubes, and I’m so sorry sweetie but the baby inside it was already dead.”

Tears flowed down my face.

I closed my eyes, desperately trying to hold it together.

Just because I didn’t know I was pregnant did not mean that I did not want my baby.

It wasn’t just my baby to lose, I had lost Kyle’s baby too.

It had been dead inside me and I never knew.

If I had been checked out sooner and listened to my body.

I could have changed this.

I curled my hands around my stomach, feeling empty, and dead.

Cam was smiling at me.

I frowned at her, confused.

“The baby in your womb survived the surgery Lee,” she squealed, scooting up on to the bed beside me.

“It’s healthy and the perfect size for twelve weeks.”

Survived?

Twelve weeks?

I had been pregnant for three months.

But I’d never skipped a period?

I was stunned.

“But how, how is that possible? All the blood? How could a baby survive that?”

Cam shuddered, remembering all too well what I was talking about.

“They never operated on your womb, just removed the tube. The doctors say it’s very rare to have a survivor twin from those circumstances but this little one is a fighter, just like her momma.”

Cam patted my belly excitedly.

“Her?”

“Oh it’s too early to know but I’m guessing she’s a girl,” Cam practically cooed.

“So I’m due in June?” I guessed.

I covered my hand over my belly, amazed at what was inside there; a baby, mine and Kyle’s miracle baby…

I was just about to ask where he was when Derek walked into the room.

“You’re awake,” he smiled, his green eyes twinkling,

He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, “Don’t you ever scare us like that again Lee, I nearly had a fucking heart-attack.”

He brushed his lips against Cam’s then plopped into the chair beside my bed.

“Yeah I’m sorry guys,” I winced as I pulled myself up further in the bed, “But I want to thank you both, you saved our lives.”

I patted my stomach, already loving the little miracle growing inside me desperately.

I was gutted that I had lost one of my babies, but I could have lost both and that put things into perspective for me.

“I remember your voice in my head,” I said to Derek, “You were telling me to hold on, I held on to your voice, I think that’s how I pulled myself back.”

Derek blushed crimson, and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“Uh, no problem, just don’t got telling all the guys that,” he muttered, “I don’t wanna be nicknamed ‘the baby whisperer.’”

Cam and I both chuckled at that.

“So where’s Kyle?” I asked, wondering what could be delaying him from being here, “Is he outside?”

Cam shifted awkwardly, “You can deliver that news baby whisperer.”

KYLE

I turned my key in the front door and let myself inside.

The house was eerily quiet.

“Derek? Cam?” I called out.

I did not dare call Lee’s name out, she was probably asleep.

I couldn’t wait to talk to her, to finally let her all the way in.

I had messed up by leaving her last night, but I could fix everything now.

I was free.

There was crap all over the place, and Bruno was passed out on the couch, the little snake.

I walked into the kitchen, and it looked like a shit heap.

Goddamn Cam, she knew the rules, ‘throw a party, and clean the shit up after.’

I needed a shower; I would deal with the mess later.

I was bone tired.

I’d had a long fucking night, and all I wanted was to shower and crawl into bed with Lee.

I trudged up the stairs and passed Lee’s bedroom door.

I stalled by the door, this was definitely weird.

Lee never left her door unlocked, let alone wide-open.

Her bed was empty.

Something strange was going on.

Had they all bailed out on me?

I shook my head and opened the bathroom door.

My chest heaved, and my stomach twisted when I took in the sight.

There was blood everywhere, blood drenched towels were scattered all over the blood encrusted floor.

I staggered back from the door and grabbed my phone from my pocket.

The battery was dead.

Fuck, how long had it been dead?

I ran into my room and plugged it into the charger.

I waited impatiently for it to start up.

What the fuck had happened here, and where were they?

I had only been away a fucking night.

Finally, my phone booted up, and was inundated with missed calls and text messages.

I scrolled through them; fifteen missed calls from Derek, twelve from Cam.

Dread filled my guts.

I was afraid to read the texts.

Derek: (Dude get your ass home a.s.a.p.)

Cam: (Come home Kyle, there is something wrong with Lee. There is blood everywhere. Im scared.)

Cam: (Where are you? We are in the ambulance with Lee, taking her to hospital, Call me.)

Derek: (Answer your phone you stupid sack of shit, this is your girl I’m tryna save. Pull your dick outta Rachel, get in your fucking car, and follow us to the hospital. You stupid shit.)

Ice ran through my veins.

I couldn’t read anymore,

I ran for my truck.

I dialed Derek’s number; he answered his phone on the third ring

“Dude, about fucking time-”

“Is she okay? I demanded, “Where is she?”

I heard Derek snort, “In the fucking hospital. She’s lucky to be alive, no thanks to you.”

Jesus Christ.

“Which hospital is she in?”

I drove down 10th, towards the city.

“I don’t think that’s…”

“Which hospital is she in Derek? I’ll find her either way.”

He sighed loudly, “St.Lukes.”

I nodded, taking a left, “I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Kyle, you might want to brace yourself dude, there’s something you need to know…”

I needed to get to Lee, not listen to Derek and his bullshit. I should have never left her last night. I was fucking stupid.

“Spit it out dude, I’m tryna drive.”

He paused for a moment, and then I heard him speak the words that tore through my heart with the force of a hurricane.

“Kyle, she’s pregnant.”

Chapter Forty-three

LEE

I woke from an unsettled sleep to raised voices outside my room.

Cam who was asleep in the chair beside me jerked awake, and darted out of the room.

“Get out of my way Derek.”

Oh god, no.

“All I’m saying is come back tomorrow let her sleep. She’s fucking fragile right now dude.”

That was Derek’s voice of reason.

The door of my room burst open and Kyle marched in.

I clenched my eyes shut and feigned sleep.

“If you upset her Kyle, I’ll kill you, I mean it,” Cam warned, “We’re gonna go grab a coffee, you better not be here when we get back.”

I heard the door close and the chair beside my bed scraped against the floor.

His warm hand gripped mine.

“Oh baby wake up please,” he whispered, “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry.”

When his hand touched my stomach, I twisted away, pulling my hand away from his.

I opened my eyes and focused them on him.

“Why are you here?” I asked coldly.

His eyebrows jolted up in surprise.

“I had to see you, make sure you were okay. My battery on my phone died, I didn’t know you were here, until I got home.”

I stared at him, “I want you to leave.”

He flinched.

I didn’t care.

“Lee don’t do this. You’re pregnant? Talk to me please.”

He reached his hand out for mine but I pulled back.

“I want you to leave Kyle. I’m not ready to speak to you about my baby.”

He shifted helplessly.

He looked at a loss for words.

“Please don’t block me out of this baby; I’ve been going out of my mind with worry.”

I bet he had.

“You’ve been going out of your mind?” I choked, anger and tears pouring out of my soul, “Have you any idea how afraid I was last night?”

He grabbed my hand, but I pulled back.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t,” I warned, “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.”

I was bawling now, big, fat, ugly tears.

“I nearly died last night Kyle. While you were with Rachel, I nearly bled to death on the bathroom floor. No matter what happens, she always comes first doesn’t she? She’s your weakness Kyle.”

Tears fell from his eyes.

Well good, I wanted him to suffer.

I wanted him to feel my pain.

“Rachel? No baby she is not my weakness. She’s my fucking punishment. You baby, you are my biggest weakness.”

I wanted him to open up to me.

I needed him to tell me the truth.

“Why?” I sobbed, “Tell me why you left with her last night?”

He was shaking.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you,” he sobbed, “I needed to talk to Rachel, finish things. There are things you don’t know, things you don’t understand. But it doesn’t matter. I’m here now.”

I balled my fists, “You’re too late,” I whispered, “You should have finished things with Rachel months ago. But you kept me your dirty little secret instead. I’m not stupid Kyle, I watched you keep our relationship hidden. There’s no apology in the world can make up for the fact that you knowingly left me, sick and alone. I didn’t know until today but yes, I am pregnant, and it’s yours in case you might think otherwise. And I didn’t mean for it to happen, in case you think I tried to trick you. I know how low your opinion is of me.”

He flinched, and anger carried me forward, “I might be carrying one of your babies inside of me, but do not for one moment forget that I lost another.”

He laid his head in his hands, on the bed beside me.

His shoulders were shaking.

My hand reached out to comfort him but I snatched it back.

I couldn’t comfort him, not now.

“Is it… is the baby okay?”

He was trembling, “Are you?”

He lifted his face and looked at me.

I turned away, unable to look at the sadness in his tear filled blue eyes.