Break Me Slowly (20 page)

T
he delicious smell of his skin helped calm my mind. I tried not to think about what had just happened. Tried not to think about the familiar feel of my head being bashed in.

Adam tucked a curl
behind my ear. “Did she come in at night when you were sleeping, and attack you?”

The question
made my chest tighten. I ran my foot along the edge of the mattress.

“
Not always at night. She’d lock me in my room for hours, sometimes days at a time. I tried to stay awake, but it was like she knew. The moment I fell asleep, she came in, yanking me up by the hair…the face…”

Adam s
troked my hair softly.

“
I don’t know what I did to make her so angry. I got the most scared when she pinned me down and dug her nails in my throat.” A sob broke deep in my chest. I had never said any of this out loud.

Adam p
ulled me tighter against him.

“
She told me once when she was choking me that I had ruined her. Not just her life, but her. I learned that if I knew where the edge of the bed was, I would be able to jump off it before she got to me, and try to make a run for it.”

Adam exhaled harshly.
“Do I scare you?”

I rolled over to face him.
“No.”

He ran his thumb along my lower lash
es, dabbing the tears away. “But you run from me.”

I nodded, because it was true. From the moment I
’d met him, I knew Adam was something I could never obtain fully. And over the last several weeks, I realized that I had fallen in love with him, opened myself to him, and he hadn’t given any part of himself back. It scared me. Made me feel like this state of bliss I was in would never be permanent.

“
At some point, you’ll break my heart, and it will hurt. Now or later, it will happen.”

He cupped my cheeks.
“Yes. I’ll fuck up, hurt you, and make mistakes.” His eyes were searing when he said, “But I’ll never abuse you.”

Despite Adam’s grumbling, I had gone to work today. I had a bad headache, but it was time to move on. Megan said she’d file a report with the police, but nothing had been stolen or damaged aside from the backside of my skull.

Between Adam
’s move-in proposition and the recent head trauma, my brain was neither functioning fully nor able to tackle big life choices at the moment. We were safe, the locks changed, and that was that.

It had been a long day. Adam
called and texted relentlessly to check in on me. The walk home in the crisp air felt good against my face. When I came to my front door, ready to kick off my shoes and relax, I was greeted with red tape and a sign that said
Undergoing Construction
.

Megan was outside s
tomping her foot and talking to Phil, our landlord.

“
What is going on?”

“
I’m sorry, ladies, but you’ll need to find another place to live for the next month or so.”

“
What? Why?”

Megan glared
at Phil and I followed suit, utterly pissed off. “We’ve never missed the rent, and you haven’t given us any notice.”

“
I’m sorry, we were bought out and the new owner found black mold. Due to health risks, it has to be removed and your whole apartment is undergoing construction.” Phil handed Megan and me an envelope. “All the documentation is in here, as well as a check that will cover all living expenses for you girls for the next month.”

I looked down the hall.
“No one else is being forced to move?”

“
Nope. Just us,” Megan snarled. “Apparently our apartment is the only one with this
severe
case of black mold.”

“
We’re just trying to keep you girls healthy.”

Megan opened her envelope and when she yanked out the check, her eyes went wide, then turned into pissed
-off slits. My gut churned and a nagging sense of doom crept through my pores.

“
Phil, who bought this complex?” I asked.

Megan shoved the check back into the envelope and didn
’t give Phil a chance to answer. “Take a wild guess!” she barked.

A slow simmering rage began to b
oil as the dots connected. I returned my attention to my landlord.

He look
ed bewildered, tentatively glancing between Megan and me. “Kinkade Enterprises bought it.”

~

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I yelled, storming into Adam’s office.

His secretary and
the entire security staff knew me by first name now, so this time I got my dramatic entrance.

He sat back in his chair.
“Good evening, lover. Something the matter?”

“
Don’t give me that crap! You’re kicking me out!”

“
Do I need to remind you of what happened last time you stomped in here in this manner?”

“
You bought my apartment complex and are kicking me out because I didn’t agree to move in with you right away.”

“
I’m looking out for your health. The renovations should be done in a month, at which time you’ll have your newly updated apartment back.”

“
Is there even black mold?”

His face was like stone.
“There was something black on the wall.”

“
I’m sure there is. Simon drew on it with crayon two years ago.”

“
I felt it needed further investigation.”

I shook my head.
“Oh, really? And how does this work now, huh? All my things are in an apartment I can’t get into, because you’re throwing a tantrum about living together.”

He sat back in his chair
and threaded his fingers over his lower abdomen. “It looks like you are the one throwing a tantrum. I gave you and Megan plenty of money.”

I clenched my jaw. The check Adam
had written could keep both of us living in the penthouse of the Four Seasons for well over a month while dressing in a different designer outfit every day and eating caviar for breakfast. But that wasn’t the point.

“
I don’t want your money.”

He shrugged
. “Being the owner of the complex, I have insurance for cases like this.”

I threw my hands up.
“That’s not the point. I want my home. Not a hotel. What am I supposed to do? And don’t you dare say live with you.”

“
Why? It makes sense. It’s a good trial period. You can see that you belong with me, yet retain that false sense of security you have with that apartment.”

“
False sense of—” I took a deep breath. My anger was dialed to defcon-freak-the-fuck-out. “How do you not see what you’re doing?”

“
I’m going after what I want.”

“
You’re strong-arming me.”

This
was another moment where I knew that Adam was trying to do something nice—sort of—but going about it the wrong way. He wanted me to move in. It was a big step. Part of me loved that he felt something for me. Something strong enough that it would enable him to share his space with me. But this wasn’t how a normal couple approached things.

“
You seem to have a fancy for kicking Gunn women out of their homes,” I snapped.

He
stood up quickly and rounded the desk, walking toward me. “I’m not tearing down that complex. You mother can stay. Though everything in my being says I should throw her ass on the street. I don’t want you to ever have to deal with her again. Her rent is taken care of. She can live there indefinitely without a single bill as long as she stays away from you.”

“
Are you serious?”

He nodded.
“It is not my intention to burden you. Ever. I want you happy. And I want you with me.” He cupped my chin. “What is keeping you from giving in? Why do you choose to fight me on everything?”

“
Because you can’t force someone to feel something they don’t.”

He took a step back.
“So you feel nothing for me?”

Heat left my cheeks. What I felt for Adam was not nothing, it was
everything
. I didn’t know if it was the headache or the bombardment of all this new information, but I was exasperated.

“
Adam, you drive me nuts, but you’ve also helped me realize that while I have these crazy emotions, it doesn’t make
me
crazy. I crave you in a way that borders on unhealthy. You know me. You force me to deal with things. You know my secrets, my weaknesses, but I know nothing about you.”

“
You know me,” he argued.

I shook my head.
“You close yourself off. I don’t know what causes you pain. I don’t know about your past. You demand all this from me, yet keep half of yourself hidden. It’s like walking along a cliff. Any moment you have the power to throw me over and I’ll be left shattered and broken while you escape without a scratch.”

He stared at me for a long moment.
“You bring me to my knees, Katelyn. Every damn day you have me ready to beg.”

His words hit my heart. He
hadn’t said he loved me. Hadn’t admitted to anything deep or personal, but it was a start. Admitting he was off kilter just as badly as I was.

He swept me up into his arms. I locked my legs around his waist and kissed him with all the
breath in me.

I woke up in Adam’s bed. I’d agreed to stay with him while “renovations” were being done on my apartment. My only other option was to go to my aunt and uncle’s—which would never happen—or use the money Adam had given me to stay at a hotel. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to spend it.

So far, things were going well. We
woke up, had coffee and breakfast together. Drove into work together. Convenient, since we worked down the block from each other. He always dropped me off first and kissed me good-bye. A few times we snuck in a quickie in the backseat and I walked around the rest of the day with my skin tingling and smelling like his cologne.

I was happy.
Deliriously so. And if it was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.

~

“How’s domestication treating you?” Megan asked. Her anger had ebbed over the last couple of weeks when she’d put the check from Adam to good use. She was living it up and I was happy because she had seemed a little down lately.

“
Pretty good. How’s staying with Brian?”

“
I’ve only stayed there a couple of nights.” Megan looked down. She and Brian had been together a lot longer than Adam and I, yet he’d made no move to take their relationship to the next level.

“
You okay?” I asked.

Her head snapped up and she waved away whatever sad thoughts had obviously been churning.
“I’m great. I took a peek at our apartment the other day—state-of-the-art alarm system, new fixtures and appliances. It’s looking really good.”

I liked that Adam had left me the choice to move back, though secretly, I didn
’t think it was a choice. He had been doing his damnedest to convince me to stay with him permanently. And I just might be caving.

“
So, you were saying that Mr. Moneybags has a birthday tomorrow, right?”

I nodded.

“What are you supposed to get a man who has everything?”

I groaned.
“My thoughts exactly.”

“
Well, did you ask him?”

I smiled.
“Yeah. He said for his birthday, he wanted me.”

Megan rolled her eyes.
“I don’t know exactly what to make of you two, but it kind of grosses me out.” She winked at me. “Besides, he already has you.”

Yes, he did, b
ut I knew what he was really getting at. He wanted total control. No more running or questioning. Giving myself over to him would require my soul.

He made me feel beautiful. Cherished. And
completely crazy. When was the last time someone had told Adam how amazing he was? I did my best to tell him, show him, every day, the same way he showed me.

An
idea hit me.

Adam wanted my heart for his birthday? He just
might get it.

“Good morning, birthday boy,” I whispered, and kissed his lips.

He smiled.
He was doing more of that lately and I never tired of the sight.

“
Best birthday ever,” he said, cupping my ass. He rolled me over and parted my thighs with his knees.