Brain (10 page)

Brain

Harmony Alexis Johnson. It fit her. Or, it fit who she was becoming. Who I thought she wanted to become.

I watched her from a distance, her hair longer, brushing her shoulders. She wore a casual sundress with Teva sport sandals, and was completely aware of the people around her, no matter how nonchalant she appeared.

I could get into her hotel room, if I wanted, but if I was too heavy handed she’d run again. I needed to play this smart, let her come to me.

I’d hacked into the auction house’s servers months ago, and watched for correspondence I thought might be from her. As a result, I now had the alias she was currently using, as well as the email address she’d used, which let me find her other email addresses and identities.

I hacked into her hotel’s database, found which room she was in, and then got myself a room in a downtown Atlanta high rise across the street, hoping I’d be able to watch her.

Yes, I’d gone so far past stalking, I was aware it was a problem. I didn’t care.

She was on her laptop when I got into my room, and I considered the best way to approach her. Finally, I sent an email.

I don’t mean you any harm, and I’m no longer with the Chattanooga RTMC chapter. I found the house where you were being held, and arrived to rescue you about twenty minutes after you rescued yourself.

Has enough time passed for us to meet and have a meal as friends?

I know you well enough to be certain you’ve probably learned everything about me by now, and you understand how much we have in common, besides our intelligence.

When I walked away from my family, Duke brought me into the fold and became my best friend when I was alone in the world.

However, he broke our trust, our friendship, when he took you away from me, and now I find myself alone again. I have my brothers in the Atlanta RTMC, sure, but… please, can we talk?

I’ll be in Centennial Park by the Olympic fountains at noon tomorrow, and I’ll take you to whatever restaurant you want, either within walking distance, or on the back of my bike, if you’ll trust me enough.

If you’d like to choose another spot, let me know and I’ll be there.

I watched her open the email and read it, saw her body language go from fear, to anger, to interest, and finally to resignation.

She paced the hotel suite five minutes before responding, “You can’t be serious.”

How to cajole her without pressuring? I considered her body language and choice of words, and emailed back, “So, not enough time has passed? Shall I try again in three months? Six months?”

No time at all before she answered, “What will it take to make you go away?”

I smiled as I typed, “A couple of dates, complete with goodnight kisses? Enough to see if we’re compatible. I think we are, and I’m pretty sure you do, too. I’m sorry about the way we met, but I can’t change the past.”

More pacing before she responded this time. She typed it and then paced some more, debating whether to send it. She backspaced, typed some more, paced some more. While I waited, I thought my heart would beat its way out of my chest.

Finally, she sent it.

“I need you out of my life. If having lunch will make you go away, I’ll be there. No kissing, and if you try to capture me you’ll regret it.”

I read fast and then breathed in relief, and emailed back, “No funny stuff. I know I’ll have to earn your trust and I don’t intend to blow it right off the bat.”

Ice

Why the hell had I agreed to this?

I’d taken my nail polish off this morning, and I was wearing fatigues and a tight, black t-shirt, with black hiking boots. Unwilling to cut my hair, I French braided it and tucked it under itself, so he wouldn’t realize how long it’d grown. Always conscious of the NSA’s facial identification methods, I left a hunk of hair free and allowed it to completely cover one eye. I could pull it away from my face once we were in the restaurant, but it would need to stay over my eye while walking down the street.

I wore no makeup, and I had my hotel keycard, credit cards, ID, and some cash in my pocket. No purse or backpack to hassle with.

I also had pepper spray, a fully charged taser, and my knife. I had no idea what I was walking into, but we’d be in a public place and I intended to be careful.

My gut told me I’d be safe with him, but common sense told me I was an idiot for meeting him. I rationalized it by telling myself if I were to make a truly clean break, I’d need to get him to stop looking for me. Odds were, he’d figured out I’d go to the identity auctions sooner or later, and had found me through them. This meant he likely knew my new name, which meant if I intended to use the name for the rest of my life, I had to get him to back off and go away, because he’d always be able to find me once I began using Harmony’s identity.

I’d hacked into the cameras around the park, and watched the area most of the morning. I directed the feed to my phone, and I kept an eye on it as I approached. Brain was there, waiting, and I didn’t see anyone else who appeared to be with him. If I’d thought other members of RTMC were there, I would’ve aborted.

I walked to within fifteen feet of him and stopped, unsure of what happened next, or even whether I wanted to be any closer.

Brain is tall, but his presence is so much bigger than his physical body. I always feel as if there’s more than one of him, inside his body, though it makes no sense. Until I met him, I didn’t truly understand the term
larger than life.

With the kids running around and playing between us, it was doubtful he’d hear me, but I still said, “Hi,” because just standing and staring was awkward.

He took four steps towards me and stopped, as if I were a wild animal he didn’t want to spook. His smile was gentle, and suddenly it took every ounce of willpower I owned to stand in place instead of turning and running.

I crossed my arms, and realized how it looked as I did it, but didn’t care. I needed a barrier between us, something to protect my heart, and my arms were the best I could do at the moment.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, his voice soft, but loud enough I could easily hear. “I’m sorry you’re so uncomfortable. What can I do to help?”

“Go away and never contact me again?”

He shook his head. “I want to get to know you better, want to hold you when you need comforting, and…” he took a breath and spoke with so much conviction, I could only stand and stare. “I
need
to be sure you’re safe. I know you can take care of yourself, and I know I failed you once and there’s no reason to trust me again, but I’ll never again put the club, or anything else,
anyone
else, ahead of you.”

I shook my head and took the final steps to close the distance between us. “If I fuck you a few times, will that be enough? I need to get on with my life,
Thurston
, and I can’t do it if you keep popping up. I need to sever all ties to my old names, surely you understand?”

“If you’re offering sex after lunch I won’t turn you down, but only because I want to get to know you better, want to get closer to you. I don’t intend to walk out of your life, Harmony. I can find a way to make money no matter where I live, and I’m sure you’ve verified I broke all ties with the Chattanooga RTMC. For now, I’m officially part of the Atlanta chapter, but Bud will give me nomad status, should I want to move so far away he can’t keep claiming me as one of his.”

I shook my head again. “You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions and taking too much for granted, Brain. We aren’t an item, and you aren’t moving to another city with me.”

He gave me a cocky grin. “Free country. I can move pretty much wherever I want.”

“Good to know. I’ll make sure I end up in a city where RTMC rivals are in control. It would be a shame for someone to tip them off a nomad, or an ex-Rolling Thunder member was living in their city.”

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t take well to threats, Ice, but I’ll handle whatever you throw at me.”

“Even if I fuck every one of ‘em?”

His eyes went dark, my stomach jumped into my chest, and I took a few steps back, forcing myself not to run in terror. “This meeting’s over. I’m not hungry.”

“I’m sorry, Ice. Sorry. You aren’t mine and…
damn
, I’m fucking this up.” He put his hands in his pockets, lifted his shoulders towards his ears. “How about Chinese? It’s just across the street, and it’s pretty good.” He let his shoulders down, but still looked tense, his hands still in his pockets as if he were trying not to look threatening.

“Don’t call me Ice.”

“What should I call you?” His voice soft, his eyes wary, but probing.

I’d always felt as if he knew more about what I was thinking and feeling than he should, and today was no different.

“I’m not ready to be Harmony yet.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to tell you to call me. I’d settled on Destiny before I met you, but then I had to give up all of the ID’s I’d been using, to get you off my tail, and…”
Shit
, I wasn’t going to get fucking emotional in front of Brain. Once again, when confronted with sadness, I drew upon my inner anger. I remembered Brain with the needle, giving me a shot, knocking me out so he could take me to the cabin… and then Duke giving me a shot. Remembered waking up in the cell, naked, with Gonzo watching me. And remembered having to shit in the floor.

Brain turned and walked ten feet to the steps surrounding the fountain, and sat on the second one. I could see despair in his eyes, and for the first time, I believed he had true feelings for me.

I’m not sure exactly what I’d thought before… stupid stalkerish behavior, or the fact I’d walked away and told him
no
when he wasn’t likely used to women refusing him, or maybe guilt induced feelings because he hadn’t been able to look after me when he’d captured me.

I hadn’t expected to see real feelings, though. I walked closer but still stopped about six feet away. He’d have to stand up and step towards me to touch me.

With him sitting, we were closer to eye level, and this was easier, not having to look so far up to have a conversation.

“I don’t know what to do with you,” I told him.

“Start by having lunch with me?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Fine. Chinese is okay. Get your ass up and c’mon.”

He walked beside me, and I saw his arm move towards me twice, as if to touch me, or make sure I was safe as I walked across the street, but he dropped it and didn’t.

We were seated almost immediately, even though there was a lobby full of people waiting. They put us at a cozy little table for two, with a half-divider so we had some privacy from the rest of the room.

“Did they put us here so we don’t scare the other patrons, or did you pay them for privacy?” With Brain in his RTMC vest, and me in my shit-kicker boots and fatigues, people had given us plenty of room on the sidewalk.

He ignored my question and said, “Thanks for agreeing to lunch. Have you been to the Georgia Aquarium? I’d love to take you, whether you’ve already been or not.”

I wasn’t about to agree to more than lunch. “I thought you and Duke were best friends. You aren’t talking to him at all?”

He shook his head. “Haven’t seen him in months. Haven’t talked to anyone from the Chattanooga chapter.” He seemed to remember something, and added, “Well, except for Duke’s wife. She emails me, checks in on me to be sure I’m okay. I don’t have a beef with her, and she’s nice.” He shook his head. “Not the kind of woman you’d expect Duke to end up with, but they work together. Anyway, she doesn’t talk about Duke or the club too much, mostly tells me what’s going on in her life apart from Duke — work and family stuff. I don’t tell her anything I don’t want Duke knowing, but it’s nice to keep in touch with her.”

“You like her. I mean, as a person. You like and respect her.”

He nodded. “Yeah. She’s strong, and doesn’t take shit from Duke. She’s exactly what and who he needs in his life, but it’s a two way street. He’s good for her, too.” He shook his head again, his eyes sad as he told me, “If I don’t think I can be good for you, I’ll walk away.”

“You have to know bringing someone from the past into my new future puts me at risk.”

He lowered his voice. “They aren’t going to place the cute little Harmony who’s dating an Atlanta RTMC member as the old,
male
, Ice. And for those who knew you were female? There’s still no reason for them to put it together you’re the girl dating the biker.”

When I didn’t respond, he said, “I’m serious, Buttercup. I want you in my life, but only if we’re good for each other. If I can’t make you as happy as Duke makes Gen, I’ll bow out… though, not right away. You have to give me a chance. They weren’t happy right off the bat, either. Took Gen a while to get used to Duke, and took him a while to trust she could handle all of him.”

“Do you miss him?”

“I miss the friend I had who’d never turned on me. Don’t miss the one who fucked me over.”

I sighed, and couldn’t believe I was about to defend him, but said, “Duke seemed to me to be more of a general, in charge of his troops. And, as a general, looking out for the entire club, he probably had a point, Brain. You were too close to me. It turns out you were right, and the best way to get what you wanted from me was to work with me instead of against me, but… Duke had no way of knowing for sure.”

“Yeah, he did. We have a history, and I’ve never been wrong about the best way to proceed in… that kind of situation. We worked so well because he trusted me, trusted my strategies.” He paused a second, as if figuring out how to explain. “I think politically, and you’re right about him thinking like a general. For battle plans, we went with his recommendations, but when it came to handling things politically, he deferred to me. However, in this case, he was convinced I was thinking with my dick, putting you ahead of the club.” Brain shrugged. “I found a way to take care of both you
and
the club. He shoulda trusted me.”

“Were you really only thirty minutes behind my escape?”

He nodded and told me how he’d spent the night and day looking for me, starting by taking a few swings at Duke before hiding out in his control room so he could figure out where they’d taken me, and who was watching me. I grinned when he got to the part about Gonzo sitting on the front porch without a vehicle when he arrived.

But still, I’d been able to tell how close he and Duke were, and my research had told me they’d pretty much run the club as a unit.

“I’m sorry I came between you and Duke.”

He shook his head. “No, Duke came between us, not you. I supported him throughout his initial problems with his Duchess, and then he chose to turn his back on me, and put you in danger.” He gave a half smile as he said, “I told’em you’d be gone before daylight. They didn’t believe me.”

I laughed and smiled in spite of my intention to be unhappy in his presence. “Would you’ve known I could get the Master lock off with my nail, though? Really?”

“I wouldn’t have trusted the cell. It was a no brainer you could squeeze through the bars. The damned thing was built to hold big, burly, motorcycle dudes, not a little wisp of a woman. Also, I’d know better than to use a combination lock. Takes me anywhere from three to thirty minutes to open one, so I wouldn’t use one on you. Not to say you couldn’t use a shim on a keyed lock, and no, I probably wouldn’t have thought of you using your nail as a shim, but I’d have put other precautions in place. Gonzo thought he had the shackles, the cell, his guarding you, and the upstairs alarm, but once he was asleep, all he had was the shackles and upstairs alarm, and you were fast enough hotwiring the car…” He grew more serious and said, “If he hadn’t pissed you off, humiliated you, would you’ve run?”

I shook my head. “No. I liked the idea of a fresh start, a permanent identity, and a way to walk away from a life of running, but nothing was worth what Gonzo made me do. I have too much self-respect to let anyone treat me like an animal. You know the Russians had me a while, and I’m guessing you know it was bad, but you have no idea what I survived. Gonzo didn’t come close, but I refused to let him treat me as less than human. When I had an opportunity to escape, I took it.”

“I’m glad you’re working the fresh start on your own. Anything I can do to help? Do you have a plastic surgeon lined up? Someone to take care of you after the surgery?”

“Yes.” Okay, so it was a private nurse, but the auction house had recommended her, and she knew her care of me had to be good or I wouldn’t hire her to take care of Harmony in her final weeks.

“Someone you aren’t paying? Who’ll be there because he wants to make sure you’re taken care of?”

I shook my head. “My lifestyle hasn’t let me have relationships. Over the years, I’ve fucked a few guys for a couple of months, but when they started asking too many questions I had to publicly pick a fight with them, so I could break up with them and disappear, and they couldn’t claim I’d have never have voluntarily left like that and get the police involved when I disappeared.”

“Yeah, but things can be different, now, and you
do
have a guy in your life who’d be happy to take care of you. What are you having done?”

“It isn’t as big of a deal as it would’ve been with the other girl. I’m doing a chin implant, and some slight work on my eyelids, and he’ll pull the skin at my forehead, so my eyebrows are a different shape. He’s going to do something to the piece of skin between my nostrils, to make my nose look a little perkier, but that’s nothing like a full nose job. Since she’s so much heavier, the fact she’s lost weight will be enough to make people believe I’m her, apparently, without too much surgery. So, we just need to do enough so the facial recognition won’t ping as the old me.”