Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy (94 page)

“There is no possibility of his production
becoming a success. No one likes him. Closing day will come shortly
after his opening. Then he will be thrown in jail where he
belongs,” he commented one night after we had just returned from
the night’s performance. In my mind I agreed, but insisted for the
sake of remaining anonymous with my feelings for Richard that he
not talk about him in my presence.

“I know you despise that man. I’m sorry for
bringing his name up in our home,” Ned said and nuzzled his lips
against my neck. “I wished you had never fallen for such a
conniving man such as Richard Parker. But that is all in the past
now; we can move on and only look ahead.”

We had been lovers and companions for several
months, and as much as he pampered me, worshipped me, and
proclaimed we would someday marry, I managed to keep myself from
any emotional attachment, which left Ned needing and longing for me
even more. It wasn’t easy balancing my plan to take Richard down
and have Ned believe I was in love with him. I put forth my best
acting abilities, shut my mind off to all reality, and pretended
that Ned was some mysterious prince who had saved me from all the
evils of the world when he loved me.

When spring finally arrived to chase away
winter, it was announced all over town that Richard’s show was
finally going to open. He had revamped an old abandoned theater and
spent money no one knew came from where. The whole city was excited
to see if he could pull it all off and save himself from jail.

The night of his opening, Ned closed his
theater, knowing everyone would show up ten blocks over at
Richard’s theater. “No use performing if no one is in the
audience,” Ned told his actors, and he gave us all the night
off.

“Are we going too, Ned?” I coolly asked. I
didn’t want to seem anxious; in fact, I wanted him to believe I
didn’t want to go. I succeeded.

“My sweet girl, I wouldn’t make you do such a
thing. I know how he hurt you. I’m certain you never want to see
the likes of him again,” he said softly, caressing my cheek. How
tender and considerate Ned was. I planned to use that to my
advantage.

“I think we should. We need to see our
competition,” I said.

Ned appeared skeptical, and not to make him
suspicious, I smiled and added, “Don’t you want to see him
flop?”

Ned’s brows rose at the alluring idea, but he
announced he had other plans instead.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh?”

“I have made plans for us to travel upstate,
to a beautiful place that overlooks a spectacular, serene lake near
a picturesque waterfall. It’s a lovely time of year - the flowers
are beginning to bloom, the trees are coming alive. Let’s go away
for a few days, get out of the city, and be alone - just you and
me.”

How long I had waited for a man to love me
the way Ned did. He doted on me, wanted me with him day and night,
and talked of marrying me. Now he wanted to take me on a romantic
getaway, and I could only think of Richard and getting even.

Ned noticed my distant gaze and took hold of
my chin. He made me look up into his yearning eyes. “What are you
thinking of? Could it be the same thing as I?” he murmured, then
tenderly kissed me.

He was taken aback when I pulled away
slightly. I realized I let my guard down - not playing my part
well. So I smiled, cupped my hands around his face, and agreed to
go away with him.

Early the next morning, after reading
Richard’s rave reviews in the newspaper, we set out for our trip.
Ned had his assistant, George Furgs, take over for him while we
were gone. Because I hadn’t yet taken the star role, I could take
leave. Ned promised as soon as we returned, because I looked so
healthy again and my voice had recovered, Leigh Lang would become
my understudy.

The ride reminded me of journeys up north to
the estate with Richard, and as the landscape passed slowly by, I
thought of nothing but him. Ned was talking, but my mind was
elsewhere . . . on years past, on the estate, Rachael, and
Sterling. Then briefly, my mind wandered to Heath. I wondered if he
and Sarah had married.

When I didn’t respond to a question I didn’t
hear, he became concerned and slightly frustrated. “You’re thinking
of him, aren’t you?”

My heart skipped a beat. Was it that obvious?
I worried. Could Ned see into the thoughts I tried desperately to
keep to myself. But if he had, then he would realize how much I
loathed Richard, I reassured myself.

“I just hope he won’t be the fierce
competition everyone is saying,” I replied, hoping he wouldn’t read
more into my melancholy mood.

He pulled me closer against him as the
carriage flew over the awful bumpy roads, and he placed a kiss on
the top of my head. “Don’t you worry, my sweet girl. When we return
with you as the star, we will blow his show out of the water.”

I was ready for the challenge, for my name to
be in the headlines to capture Richard’s attention and make him
regret the day he had let me go. I would not rest or think of
anything else until it happened.

The first hotel was just a halfway point to
our final destination. We slept like logs, drained and achy from
the long, dusty road.

We woke early, ate, and began the final leg
of the journey to a mystery location. Ned had a smug smile on his
face as we made our way into the small, sleepy town of Ithaca, New
York. Ned had obviously been there before. He had an air of
confidence about him as he led me down a few quaint tree-lined
streets with our suitcases in each hand, until he stopped before a
large four-story rooming house. There was a white painted sign out
front on the sparse lawn that simply read, “The Inn,” and a smaller
sign hanging by two hooks under that read,
No Rooms.

“There are no rooms available here,” I said,
looking around and wondering where we would find another place to
rest for the night. I was hungry and grouchy and wasn’t up to the
ordeal of searching for another rooming house.

“Let me handle this,” he said confidently and
insisted I follow him up onto the front porch.

There were two porch swings, one on each end,
which I thought looked very homey and inviting. The double dark
cherry front doors held two oval panes of etched glass, and I could
vaguely make out the shape of a thin framed woman coming to the
door to see who was knocking at such a late hour, even after the
sign said,
No Rooms.

I stood a step back from Ned and waited for
her to shoo us away. I was surprised when she threw her slender
arms wide for Ned to give her a welcoming embrace. “Ned, you didn’t
send word you were arriving!” the silver-haired elderly woman
cried, then moved aside to allow us in. Then she followed behind me
and called out for someone named Norman. “Come see who wants a
room!”

“Hush up, old woman or you’ll wake the whole
town,” Norman barked as he came out from a room adjacent to the
narrow, dimly-lit foyer.

Ned's father was a tall, lean man with gray
hair beginning to show at his temples. The rest of his thick hair
was still very dark like Ned's. His eyes scanned his son, and then
slowly he revealed a scowl. Ned didn't appear surprised; in fact,
he welcomed his father’s animosity.

"Sorry to drop in without prior notice,
Father," he said with a chuckle in his voice.

As pleased as Mrs. Griffin was to see her
son, it was entirely the opposite for Ned’s father. Without another
word, Mr. Norman Griffin muttered something under his breath I
couldn't hear and disappeared into one of the back rooms.

Ned shrugged his shoulders and turned to his
elderly mother. She appeared years older than his father. I thought
the relationship seemed odd right from the start. Then again, it
couldn't have been any odder than my parents’ marriage.

"Ma, this is my new love, Lillian, the girl I
wrote you all about," he said with a beaming smile.

She peered closely up at my face, sizing me
up with her warm, gray eyes. If my relationship wasn't such a ruse,
I would have worried she would see the horrible sins of my family
and my impurities, and not think I was worthy. But she quickly
smiled and patted me on the hand, then said, "Welcome,
Lillian."

Ned reached over and pulled me close. I
briefly glanced around the well-kept rooming house, then my eyes
flicked back onto his mother. I smiled nervously and felt a
familiar nagging fear that things were going too far. There was
Ned's mother waiting on me, offering me a hot cup of tea, sitting
me down on a lovely but old sofa in the parlor, and all the while,
I knew, just knew, what she was thinking. Ned had talked of
marrying me. After hot, passionate nights when I lay in his arms,
he would talk of our future. “I want to marry you someday, Lillian.
You are the woman for me, the one I have been waiting for all my
life. You make me feel the way no other woman has. Now don't jump
to any conclusions. I haven't had as many women as you think. Not
like some other men I know."

I knew he was talking of Richard. Richard was
very much a ladies’ man - handsome, sophisticated, and sensual. Ned
was those things as well. But, he chose not to abuse them. Most of
the girls in the show had wanted to date Ned. They flirted and
sauntered around him, flaunting their big bosoms and exposed
cleavage, just to capture his attention. None of that fazed him. "I
only have eyes for you," he said to me more than once.

Most often, I didn't respond. I didn't agree
to marry him or spend the rest of my life by his side as he
desired. Little did Ned realize, as much as his sights were set on
having me as his wife, to love and cherish me - probably the way
Daddy did Momma, I wasn't about to fall in love with any man ever
again, not even one so obviously wonderful as Ned Griffin. I had my
sights set on Richard, and taking him down. Still, I wasn't certain
how that would come about.

I sat beside Ned and casually listened to him
converse with his mother about the production, city life, and on
and on. His mother was so happy to see him. I learned it had been
three years since he had been back home.

"This is Ned's childhood home," Mrs. Griffin
said as she poured me another cup of tea. "Born and raised here
with his older brother, John."

Ned had never mentioned a brother.

"He was killed at Gettysburg. Only nineteen
he was," she added somberly.

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss," I said as Ned
took hold of my hand and tenderly placed it in his.

"I know it's late. You two look exhausted.
Let me show you to your room, Lillian." I stood, and Ned followed
closely behind me. I expected us to sleep in the same room, for we
had been together as lovers for nearly six months. However, it
became apparent his mother had no intention of our sleeping in the
same small bed in the cozy little room that overlooked the moonlit
lake.

"Ned, you'll have to sleep in the parlor. I'm
afraid all of the other guest rooms are taken until tomorrow."

"That's fine, Ma."

"Fresh linens on the bed. Make yourself at
home. I'll have breakfast ready bright and early," she said as she
bade me goodnight.

Ned stood in the room waiting for his
goodnight kiss. I couldn’t remember a night he hadn't snuggled next
to me as I slept, sometimes stroking my hair while I drifted away
into my recurring nightmares. If only he were Richard, I would tell
myself each time his soft fingers traveled through the long strands
of my thick hair. As much as I loathed Richard for deceiving me and
planned to torment him with every asset I had - including my
relationship with Ned - when it was late and dark, I still longed
for it to be Richard loving me and not Ned. Sometimes, when his
arms wrapped around me and his lips pressed against mine, I swore
in my mind that he was the man who had promised me fame and
fortune, and love most of all. He’d sworn to care for me and
protect me. And in fact, he had betrayed me, almost as much as my
own father had. Richard had led me to believe he was my rock, my
anchor, and that he would sacrifice anything or anyone just to make
me happy. It was all an illusion to win my trust, suck me in like a
giant whirlpool in the foreboding sea, and then swallow me down to
such a cold, dark place I would lose myself.

When I stared up at Ned, I wondered if he,
too, could possibly take me down as Richard had. Was I still so
naïve to believe he was truly in love with me? Did he have my best
interests at heart, or was he just as selfish and calculating as
all the rest?

"Why do you look at me with such doubt? Why
do I see such disenchantment in your eyes?" he asked somberly. "You
know I will do nothing to hurt you."

"I do know that, Ned. I do," I lied.

I wasn't so sure about his intentions,
although they truly seemed honorable. Yes, he may have owned and
produced a risqué show, surrounded himself with sly, greedy
businessmen whom Richard modeled himself after, but there was a
certain look in his eyes and a sound in his voice that was always
filled with such sincerity. It would be hard not to fall into any
trap he may have set.

Ned came and embraced me, then placed a long,
long kiss on my lips. Finally, when he drew away, I let him have
the beautiful confident smile that he constantly seemed to
crave.

"That's better. Forgive me for bringing you
here and surprising you with my parents and my family home. If I
had warned you beforehand, I feared you might not have come. I
wanted so much for my parents to meet the woman who stole my heart.
Am I wrong for that? Tell me I'm not."

Just to have him believe we were still on
track, that I wanted and needed him in my life, I smiled again and
relieved his fears of my displeasure. "I’m glad you brought me
here, Ned. I think we will have a wonderful time. Your mother seems
like a sweet woman . . . very genuine. I can see she loves you very
much."