I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and
nodded in understanding. “How was he killed?”
“The man who brought him in told me your
husband got into a skirmish with some soldiers who had been after
him. Shot him dead before he had a chance.”
The undertaker moved the curtain aside, and
before he led me in, he informed me, “You will be legally
identifying the body, since you’re his wife.”
After enduring the agonizing formality of
identifying Perry, showing the undertaker our marriage license, and
signing the required document, he left me alone with Perry.
“Take your time.”
Although the marriage was brief, barely a
moment in time, the love I felt for Perry was overwhelming, and I
instantly fell apart when I stood beside him and took his cold,
lifeless hand in mine. He was still wearing his blood-soaked suit.
His lids were closed, his usually happy expression now stone cold,
his natural smile permanently erased from his face.
I sobbed uncontrollably and placed my head on
his chest. I didn’t care if I got his blood on me; in fact I wanted
it. “Why couldn’t we have had more time, even one more day?“ I
moaned. “This is all so unfair. I love you, Perry. I have loved you
for so long. Now you’ve been taken away from me, and for what
reason?”
I went talking to him, even reminiscing about
how he had me smitten with him. I told him every secret I ever
wrote about him, and although his lust frightened me, how I longed
for it as well. I held his cold hand, not ever wanting to leave
him, and I asked for his forgiveness.
“I’m so sorry I have to leave, Perry. Rest in
peace, my love. Wait for me in heaven,” I whispered and placed one
last farewell kiss on his lips.
The undertaker was sitting in a chair near
the front door reading a newspaper. He stood when I came out.
“I have some of Mr. Montgomery’s things for
you,” he said, going over to his desk.
“I suppose he was on his way to give this to
you. Here is the receipt if you want to sell it, perhaps to pay for
the burial.”
I gazed down at the gold wedding band, and it
was all I could do to keep from bawling all over again.
“That won’t be necessary. Here is fifty
dollars. I’m certain that will cover all the expenses. I want my
husband buried on the farthest side of the cemetery, overlooking
the river. Place his belongings inside the casket,” I
instructed.
“Certainly, Mrs. Montgomery.”
I slipped the gold band on my finger, staring
down at it with tear-filled eyes, wishing Perry were alive.
Without any fear and without allowing myself
to crumble and die along with Perry, I decided to fulfill our dream
and travel to Florida with the help of what was left of Perry’s
money. He had hundreds of dollars, enough money to sustain me for
some time.
I didn’t anticipate the obstacles and
hardships that would come my way. I focused on the then and now,
for if I were to foresee even a glimpse of the future, it would
only put fear in me, possibly enough to stop me from wanting to
live another day.
This time, as I made my way to the train
station, I was much more cautious, and I looked around, making sure
I wasn’t again leaving myself open to any harassment.
Darkness had fallen over the city; only the
faint glow from tall gas lampposts along the walk allowed enough
light for me to see where I was going. The station was not far, and
I assured myself that I could make it there safely and without
incident.
When passing the saloon, I could see the
saloon girl inside, waiting on tables. I stopped for a brief moment
and considered if I had enough time to thank her again. But I
needed to hurry to the station and purchase my ticket to leave
Savannah as soon as possible. I should never have stopped looking
for the danger that seemed to follow me.
Without warning, a man came out from the
shadows, covered my mouth to stifle my screams, and dragged me
away. I dug my heels down, grabbed onto his arms, and desperately
tried to pull them down, but he was much too strong. My hands
flailed widely, and I reached behind me to scratch at his face.
“Stop it!” he commanded. I immediately
stopped. We were beside a hitching post, and he untied the reins to
the horse.“I’m taking you back.”
I stood defiant. My trembling was no longer
from fear but from pure anger.
“I won’t go back with you. I hate you. I hate
Eugenia. Go away, leave me!”
In an instant, Warren grabbed me, threw me up
onto his horse, and jumped into the saddle. He held me by the waist
and kicked the horse into a full gallop, taking me back to Sutton
Hall.
To my horror, I realized my wedding ring had
fallen off my finger while I was fighting Warren off.
“You can’t do this!” I shouted. He said
nothing. “I won’t stay. I will run off again.”
The more he ignored me, the more enraged I
became. Without anticipating the fall I would endure, I slammed my
elbow up into his face, causing him to instantly release his grip.
Luckily, I landed on my side, unscathed, and quickly got to my feet
and ran blindly into the woods.
“Amelia!” he called as he led his horse after
me into the woods.
I ran on without looking back - jumping logs,
ducking branches, crossing muddy puddles, just to get away. Warren
was able to track me and caught up the instant I tripped over a
rock, falling hard onto the ground. He leapt off his horse, took
hold of me, and shook me violently. “You stop acting like a fool.
You’re going to get yourself killed!”
“It would be better that way. I would rather
be dead than with the likes of you!” I spat and slapped his
face.
He forcefully grabbed my wrists and twisted
them behind my back, causing me to cry out.
“Come, let’s go. It’s for your own good,” he
said. “I have been sick with worry. Thought I wouldn’t find you.
The city is no place for a young lady such as yourself.”
Once we were back on his horse, he exhaled
and pulled me close against him. “I still love you, even though you
wickedly lusted after your own brother. In a way, I find that
exciting,” he snickered into my ear. “I saw you two in bed
together, loving one another. I admit I was overcome with jealousy.
I was beside myself. Telling Eugenia was the only way I could stop
it and have any chance with you. In time, you will grow to love me.
And it will be an honest, decent love, unlike the perverted one you
shared with Patrick.”
He urged his horse on into what might as well
have been hell. If it wasn’t, it was the nearest thing there was to
hell on earth.
~ ~ ~
My punishment was carefully laid out,
designed to make my existence as miserable as possible. A scant
number of my belongings were brought up to the attic where I would
remain locked away with the windows sealed shut. My linens, and
most of the furniture had been removed from my room and thrown
away. All but the armoire and a piece here and there had been
hauled to the attic, along with my bed. Inside, the armoire was
left surprisingly intact, almost as if Eugenia hadn’t found the
time to order Mammy to empty it. I had only a small table, a chair,
and a lamp, and my daily orders were to rise before the sun and
open the Bible. I was to read from the time my eyes opened until
nearly midnight of each day. My sentence seemed effortless compared
to the brutal beating Eugenia had inflicted on me through the night
when Warren had brought me back to Sutton Hall.
“Take her to the attic,” she’d told
Warren.
He marched me upstairs without comment and
locked me in until she arrived. I knew what was going to happen,
but wasn’t prepared for how brutal it would be.
“Strip your clothes off!” she commanded.
I eased off my dress, and she became annoyed
at my slow pace.
“Hurry up!”
I shuddered and closed my eyes, wishing
myself away, wishing this was all just a terrible dream. But I knew
it was no dream. She ordered me to lie face down on the bed and
began whipping my bare bottom with one of Daddy’s belts.
“One lashing for being a lying tramp,” she
hollered as she snapped the strap against my skin. “Two lashings
for lusting after your own brother!”
With each brutal lashing she gave a comment,
and I began to sob from the sheer agony of my punishment.
“Three lashings for seducing your brother.
Four lashings for becoming intimate with your own brother. Five
lashings for being a whore, just like your mother.”
On and on it went until she reached twenty
lashings. By now my cries and screams had become muffled moans, and
I lay helplessly, praying for it all to end.
Finally, she flew out, locking the door
behind her.
The blood stopped dripping and was replaced
by oozing welts. I couldn’t stand or sit or move without
excruciating pain. So, I lay in bed that night and the next day
until Mammy was sent up to clean me and dress me. Then Eugenia came
and dictated the remainder of my punishment, which included being
locked away from the world in the drab, dark attic.
The weeks that followed were unbearably long,
and one day melted into the next, creating a desperately lonely
existence. I was surrounded by thick attic dust, which crept into
my lungs, causing me to cough and choke all hours of the day and
night. I couldn’t sleep at night or stay awake during the day. I
saw eerie shadows creep along the walls. I thought I saw spirits
hover over me when I slipped into a sullen sleep. When it happened,
I tried to convince myself that it was my mind playing tricks on
me, that it was my imagination gone crazy. I buried my face deep
under my pillow and prayed to God to save me.
During the hours between reciting my Bible
verses to Eugenia, as I lay motionless in the dark attic, more than
anything, I craved fresh air, sunlight, and the freedom to do as I
pleased. On the occasions Mammy was allowed to see me, she cared
for me as best she could; but she was kept from me most of the
time.
“Mrs. Arrington is making a big mistake. When
Mr. Arrington returns, he gonna be furious at her for doing this to
you,” Mammy said as she put down my plate of food and left before
Eugenia came looking for her.
Eugenia now reigned as the wicked queen of
Sutton Hall. She finally seemed to have found the role that suited
her best, and everyone around her jumped in her wake. It was as if
she had cast some evil spell, convincing those around her to enlist
in her evil conspiracy to make me suffer for my sins.
I did as I was told and day after day read
verses and passages from the Bible. Warren was assigned to let me
out and escort me down to the parlor.
“You are one of her evil servants, I see,” I
remarked as we walked downstairs.
“You are the one who is malevolent, Amelia,
not I,” he retorted.
I stood before Eugenia, keeping my eyes from
meeting hers. She sat in her favorite chair nearest to the window
and instructed me to begin. It was decided only by Eugenia which
verse I would recite, and it required me to know them all by
heart.
“Being with Proverb Seven.”
“Proverb Seven,” I repeated, thought hard,
then went on to recite the entire chapter, word for word. It took
nearly ten minutes to finish. When I did, I took a breath and
waited to be dismissed.
“Again,” she said flatly.
“Again?”
“Recite it again!” she snapped.
I cleared the dust tickle in my throat and
began again.
“My son, keep my words and lay up the Ten
Commandments with thee. Keep my commandments and live; and my law
as the apple of thine eye. Blind them upon the table of the heart.
Say unto wisdom, Thou are my sister; and call understanding thy
kinswoman: That they mean keep thee from the strange woman, from
the stranger which flattereth with her words. For at the window of
the house I looked through my casement. And beheld among the simple
ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of
understanding. Passing through the street near her corner; and he
went the way to her house. In the twilight, in the evening, in the
black and dark night. And behold, there met him a woman, with the
attire of a harlot and subtle of heart. She is loud and stubborn;
her feet abide not in her house. Now she is without, now in the
streets and lieth in wait at every corner.”
I took a breath and coughed, then continued
as Eugenia stared at me with stone- cold piercing eyes.
“So she caught him and kissed him, and with
an imprudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me,
this day have I paid my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee,
diligently to seek thy face and I have found thee.”
I paused, and a heated flush came to my face
as I recited, sickened and repulsed that I should have to speak
such words out loud in front of her.
“I have decked my bed with coverings of
tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt. I have
perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take
our fill of love until the morning, let us solace ourselves with
loves. For the Goodman is not at home, he is gone on a long
journey. He hath taken a bog of money with him, and will come home
at the day appointed. With her much fair speech she caused him to
yield, with flattering of her lips she forced him.”
Warren was standing in the doorway, and
Eugenia was either unaware or unconcerned. I swallowed, trying to
get enough moisture in my mouth to go on, tired and dreading the
end of the chapter.
“He goeth after her straightaway, as an ox
goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the
stocks. Till a dart strike through his liver, as a bird hasteth to
the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life. Harken unto me
now therefore. O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.
Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her
paths. For she hath cast down many wounded, yea, many strong men
have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to
the chambers of death.”