Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy (13 page)

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Authors: Roxane Tepfer Sanford

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BOOK: Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy
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“Stand up girl,” he then ordered. “Stand
before God and ask to be saved!”

I turned back to Eugenia for a moment then
stared up at the reverend. His eyes were fiery, as if he himself
were possessed by the devil. When I couldn’t speak because I was
trying so desperately not to bawl, Reverend Carter grabbed me,
shook me, and demanded that I ask God to be saved.

“SAY IT, AMELIA! SAY IT!” he commanded.

Finally I found the courage to speak.

“I don’t have the devil in me,” I uttered. “I
am not full of sin.”

Stunned by my retort, Reverend Carter took
hold of my shoulders and began shaking me violently, so much that
my hair came undone.

“Devil leave her, devil leave her, devil
leave her,” he chanted over and over.

I quickly became dizzy and frightened and
couldn’t focus on him. The storm outside grew more intense, the
lightning snapped from the black skies outside, all the way down to
the wet ground, as the rain violently pelted against the tall
stained-glass windows. Then, just when I thought he was finished
desperately shaking the devil out of me, before I could catch my
breath, I felt my clothing being violently being torn off me.

“As the servant of God, I will personally
strip the devil from you,” he bellowed as he quickly peeled one
piece of clothing off at a time, until I stood in front of him at
the altar, exposed, humiliated, and drained.

“Fall to your knees and thank God for saving
you!” he demanded. “Thank God for saving you!”

“SAY IT!” Eugenia raged from behind me. She
had come forward and appeared out of the shadows of the pew.

“Thank God for saving you here and now!”
Reverend Carter cried.

Above the thunder, I shouted as commanded,
willing the torment to end.

“Say it again!” Eugenia ordered.

I had to say it over and over, on my knees,
naked, shaking, with my head bowed, hiding the hot tears that
wouldn’t stop flowing.

Finally the storm settled, and the heavy,
angry rain lightened to a gentle drizzle. I was told to rise.

I couldn’t look at Eugenia or the reverend or
Curtis P. Boyd, who was standing at the entrance to the church. He
had apparently witnessed everything.

With less than an ounce of dignity, I stood
at the altar while they all kept a watchful eye on me, looking as
if they were expecting to see the devil actually leave my soul. I
waited to be told to dress, frozen in shame and disgraced beyond
belief.

I was then permitted to dress, and I did so
numbly, not even realizing I was now alone in the church. The
reverend, Eugenia, and Curtis P. Boyd were outside the church
doors, whispering.

I stayed motionless until they called for me.
It wasn’t until I was outside that I tumbled to the wet ground and
began to vomit.

“See? It worked. The devil is leaving you!”
Eugenia cried with delight. “And from this day forward, you shall
keep pure. It is my promise to God to keep you free from sin!”

Along the buggy ride home I slowly came out
of my stupor, and I listened tentatively as Eugenia revealed how it
was my own father who instigated the unholy cleansing ritual.

“Thomas came to me with worry, time and time
again. You have become a woman well before your time, and in fact,
the reason he was so worried is that your mother was the same way.
She had wiles that drove men crazy, from an early age, and he sees
those ways in you.

“Now,” Eugenia continued in an unfamiliar,
subtle tone, “your mother has passed and it certainly isn’t kind to
speak of the dead, but the fact of the matter is your father has
told me she was a wild thing that seduced him, made him smitten
with her, had him chasing after her, and finally trapped him, the
same as you have attempted to trap Perry. You’re the child that was
created out of wedlock, and that’s how you became to have the devil
in you. You were born of the devil himself, and you should thank
God again for having me come into your life to save you from the
same bad fortune as befell your own mummy.

“She died giving birth to you, and that was
God’s way of punishing her for taking to bed an already married
man. Do you want to die the same horrible death? Do you want to be
punished as well?” she demanded.

Eugenia’s words hurt like a punch straight to
my already weakened stomach. I knew Mummy had died while bringing
me into the world, but I didn’t know she had seduced my father
while he was married to another woman.

“My daddy loved my mummy,” I moaned.

Eugenia snickered and wasted no more time
filling me in on all the dirty details.

“Your father was happily married to Madeline.
A dark-haired, fair- skinned woman from a good, upper-class family
in London. Madeline was your father’s own age. They grew up
together and were married soon after your father joined the Royal
Navy.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore,” I begged.

Eugenia readily ignored my request and
continued.

“Nine months to the day from their wedding
night they had a son. They lived happily for many years until
Thomas was seduced by a lowly chambermaid. Thomas admitted to me
that he was infatuated with Charlotte. He bedded her, all because
she openly teased him when Madeline was sick and in the hospital,
recovering after nearly dying from whooping cough. She wouldn’t let
Thomas alone, undressed before him…”

“Stop!” I cried and threw myself out of the
buggy, which had stopped before the mansion.

“Amelia, you need to hear this!” she yelled
after me.

I didn’t listen . . . couldn’t listen to it
anymore. I ran to my room, slammed the door, and flung myself onto
my bed.

Daddy had another wife; he hadn’t truly loved
my mummy. And the only reason I was born was because he was
seduced, teased, tricked into lying with her. He didn’t really love
her! He loved Madeline!

Of course Eugenia and Daddy thought I would
turn into her. Why wouldn’t I? Daddy always told me I looked so
much like her, and now he must see how I am growing to be just like
her - a seductive woman whom men can’t resist.

That night I lay awake, wondering if Mummy
was indeed in heaven after all. All those years I had pictured her
as an angel, up in the clouds, lovingly looking down upon me,
watching over me and Daddy. Now, I saw her burning in hell, sitting
beside the devil, laughing at me, hoping I would be just like her
and steal a married man away from the wife he adored, just for the
thrill of lying with me for one night.

I vowed to myself that night that I would
never to be anything like my mother, and that I would become
everything Eugenia wanted me to be.

 

~ ~ ~

 

~
Ten
~

 

The remainder of the summer slipped by
without my leaving the safe haven of my bedroom, except to attend
church services with Eugenia.

Daddy no longer accompanied us, for he was
too engrossed in the business of the plantation. I knew from
hearing the servants talk that Daddy was routinely up all hours of
the night in his office. Eugenia explained to me, though I had
little interest, that troubling times were ahead, now that the
country was in turmoil over the possible abolition of slavery.

“Those Yankees have no business telling us
how we should run our plantations. There is a war ensuing, Amelia,
and we Southerners will not lose. Slavery will thrive in the South,
that I guarantee,” she stated, while our buggy headed toward the
church.

All I could think of was studying the Bible,
staying out of harm’s way and certainly far from Perry Montgomery.
It was only a month before that I had been caught in his bedroom in
his lustful embrace when his wife was in labor. Sadly, that very
evening, Myrna Montgomery died minutes after giving birth, along
with her stillborn son. He was said to be suffering inconsolable
grief. I had seen it for myself during the funeral. That was the
last time I had seen him or his daughters. After that sorrowful
day, they hadn’t been to church. And it was for the best, I
believed. I didn’t need any other distractions. I prayed God would
forgive me for all my sinful thoughts and dreams, forgive me for
having a figure men desired; and I prayed not to be punished as my
own mother. I was a good servant to him, I believed, and for once,
I felt at peace.

Daddy stayed far from me, buried in his
political and financial worries. Eugenia left me be, content that I
was now the servant of the Lord, keeping myself locked away, far
from the any man who would want me, unremittingly studying the
Bible, saying my prayers, and attending church.

 

Beatrice and Violet returned from England,
briefly giving me more time away from Eugenia. She was engrossed
with her daughters, shopping and gallivanting all over Savannah,
preparing them for the upcoming school year. To my surprise and
joy, I learned that they would be returning to England in only a
week to attend a private all-girls’ school, tuition paid in full by
their rich Auntie Camille.

The night before their quick return to
England, we all gathered downstairs for a formal farewell supper.
It had been quite some time since I’d had supper anywhere other
than my bedroom, let alone in the main dining room with the rest of
the family.

Beatrice and Violet were dressed in their
newest dresses, looking happy and radiant. Eugenia, sitting beside
Daddy, gazed adoringly upon them. Daddy looked pale and stressed.
His brow had by now turned into a natural frown. He had noticeably
lost weight.

That evening he did his best to smile and
even acknowledged me for the first time in weeks.

“Amelia, Eugenia tells me you have been
keeping up with your biblical studies. I am pleased to hear that,”
he said. “Keep up the good work and perhaps we can begin your piano
lessons again.”

“Really?” I asked.

“You must continue to be on your best
behavior,” Eugenia added.

Violet and Beatrice snickered and whispered
to one another, but I didn’t care. I was going to play the piano
again and sing.

“And you will be instructed to learn only
hymns,” Eugenia said.

Daddy stared at me, waiting for a typical
rebuttal, though I honestly had none. I was delighted.

Supper went on without Daddy acknowledging me
again, although he mentioned Perry Montgomery a few times,
commenting that he was in a bad way. His wife’s mother and father
had sold their mansion in Baton Rouge and traveled to Savannah to
live with Perry Montgomery and assist in raising the girls. There
apparently wasn’t much else that Daddy felt the desire to say.

“I don’t understand why the servants don’t
tend to the girls,” Beatrice said.

“Money is growing tight; he has let the
governess go. Every extra dollar needs to be saved. Troubling times
are ahead,” Eugenia said, and glanced over to Daddy with a dire
look.

Daddy again became distant, even from his
wife, and excused himself early. “I have matters to attend to that
simply can’t wait,” he said.

Before sitting down and opening my Bible, I
watched from my window as he set off into the evening. I hoped he
was going to visit Mammy before going to see Perry Montgomery,
though his trail led down the road and straight toward the
Montgomery plantation.

Before I became engrossed in my studies, I
thought of Mammy. I had been cooped up for much of the summer and
hadn’t seen her or Hattie. I knew Hattie was out in the cotton
fields, and it pained me, when I gave my attention to anything
other than the words of the Lord, to think of how they were
suffering. I tried not to remember how things used to be. I knew
that no matter how much I tried, it would never been the same.

As I reflected back, a hot, misty breeze blew
through the room, and the sweet smell of magnolia filled my
nostrils. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, then sighed
heavily, when I heard a soft knock on my door. Hattie didn’t wait
for an answer. She quickly slid in and closed the door softly
behind her.

“Hattie!” I cried.

Hattie came over and hugged me tight. I was
delighted that she had come to see me and thought she must have
read my mind. She knew I missed her and that’s why she came.

“Come play outside with us,” she begged. “It
has been too long. The others are gathered in the woods for hide
and seek. Even Eliza Sue is there. Come,” she insisted and took
hold of my hand.

“I can’t. I need to study.”

Hattie took the Bible from my hands and
gently placed it down on the bed.

“You’ve been studying all summer while I’ve
been in the fields. Come away and play.”

The last time I played hide and seek, I’d
found myself in peril, standing before the eyes of the Lord,
begging for the devil to be removed from my soul. I nervously shook
my head and turned away so Hattie wouldn’t see the fear in my eyes
from the memory of that horrible day.

“I don’t want to. I have things I need to do.
You go on with the others. Say hello for me,” I said, and quickly
wiped the tear that escaped and trickled down my heated face.

Hattie wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
She abruptly spun me around and made me look at her. “We’re
sisters, aren’t we? Or since I’ve been become an ordinary slave
maybe you think otherwise?”

“Hattie, no! Don’t you dare say such a thing.
I love you like a sister and always will. You just don’t
understand,” I cried.

“What don’t I understand? Tell me. I
insist!”

“I can’t . . . I just can’t,” I sobbed and
fell onto the bed.

Hattie sat beside me and caressed my hair,
hushing me just the way Mammy used to.

“Come now, we always promised never to keep
secrets from one another. Remember?”

I nodded with my face still pressed into my
duvet.

“Then what is it?”

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