Bound in Darkness (15 page)

“Then I'm going to another inn. I'm not sleeping with you.”

He was up against her with a step, the room being as small as it was. He pressed his chest to her back his hands settling on her hips, his nose nuzzling her ear through her thick braid.

“You would sleep alone and unprotected somewhere else? Come on. Would it really be so bad?”

She shivered as his warm breath washed down the side of her neck.

“I've slept on my own for all of my life,” she said, clenching her teeth as a warm, wanting sensation was born in her belly. No! She refused to be conned by his charming ploys! He was just doing this to gain dominance over her, to prove he was the one in charge of her destiny. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Only she was in charge of her life.

And then he pulled her hips back into his body, bending at his knees a little so that her bottom nestled snugly against his very obvious erection. She gasped in a breath as she felt the heat of him penetrating her pants, the hard length of him an unmistakable thing to be reckoned with. She went to pull away but he held her tight and fast.

“Always fighting,” he murmured, his lips brushing down the side of her neck. “Wouldn't it be simpler just to relax and flow into the moment?”

Simpler? With him? Never. There was nothing simple about him.

“I'm not fucking you,” she ground out between her teeth as she fought with the swirling, melting heat rushing all around her body.

“No. You're not,” he agreed. “This would have so much more depth than simply fucking.” He let one hand slide off her hip and come around to rest on her belly right above her pubic bone. He pressed his palm into her, his fingertips teasing where her curls would be had she been naked. She felt naked. She felt raw and exposed to him. She knew this was just a game to him, but it didn't seem to keep her from responding to him.

For just a moment she relaxed against him, simply allowed herself to feel everything he had the power to inspire within her. She just wanted to enjoy it for a moment. She would have to fight him off in just a second, but for this moment she wanted to stop fighting and simply feel. Feel what it would be like to allow herself to be a woman aroused by a man. She hadn't known that feeling in so long…too long. Not long enough. She tried to remind herself that there was a price that would be paid for giving in to cravings of the flesh. She could become pregnant. Though thanks to the dragon's hoard she could easily afford to raise a child now.
And what a child it would be,
she thought. As handsome as his father, fair haired and green eyed. As stubborn as his mother. As clever as them both. What an amazing child that would be.

She jolted at the thought. The last thing she wanted to do was raise a child alone in the world. If and when she had a child the father would be present, would be willing to face up to the responsibility. Would be able to take over if something should happen to her. It wouldn't be like it had been for her…a child raised by a woman alone, only to have her die and be left with nowhere to go at the young age of only eleven full turnings.

The cold hard reality of that doused whatever passion she had been feeling. Maxum would never be responsible as a father. There was no future between them. She could barely stand to be in the same room with him at times! No. Maxum would be off chasing power and glory and wouldn't think twice about his responsibilities to a child.

She broke away from him with a little cry, wrenching her body around to face him, her eyes burning with frustration and fury.

“No. It would be fucking,” she spat, the word as cold and hard as it needed to be. “And it would potentially have ramifications. Are you willing to face up to them? Would you stop all your glory-hounding ways and settle into being a father and provider?”

His gaze turned hard and harsh.

“I am not seeking glory. Those days are done for me.”

“Then what are you doing?” she asked, her tone suddenly imploring. “Just give me a little something to understand you better!”

His jaw clenched tight, a muscle ticking stubbornly. It was obvious he had no intention of letting her in the least little bit.

“And that is why I will never go to your bed, Maxum,” she said bitterly.

She bent to grab up her saddlebags and then stormed out of the room and down the stairs. She found Doisy and walked up to him.

“I'm going to another inn. I'll be back here an hour after dawn.”

“Why aren't you staying?” he asked, glancing up to the balcony that ran along the guest rooms. Maxum had exited his room and was standing at the railing watching her with dark, brooding eyes.

“There's no room for me,” she said.

“But I thought…” He glanced back up at Maxum meaningfully.

“You thought wrong.”

“I see. Well, I'll tell them. I'll make sure they wait for you.”

“If they do they do, if they don't they don't. I'll be fine either way,” she said with a shrug.

Doisy looked at her hard for a moment. “All right. But you shouldn't let him chase you away if this is where you want to be. He may be our leader, but I'm fully aware of what kind of bastard he can be. Still you'll never want for anything as long as you're with him.”

“Oh, I'll want for something. I'll want for peace of mind. See you tomorrow,” she said, turning and leaving him behind.

Doisy watched her go, then watched Maxum come down the stairs and head for him.

“What did she say?”

“That she'd be back an hour after dawn tomorrow.”

“We might be gone by then,” Maxum said punitively.

“We might? We've never left town that close to dawn before.”

“We will if I say we will,” he said coldly.

“All right. It's up to you. But you're the one who said we need her. And she has come in handy.”

Maxum looked at the door of the inn, as if looking might conjure her up somehow.

“She may be more trouble than she's worth.”

“Kilon would agree. You'd make him so happy.”

“Nothing makes Kilon happy.”

“This is true.” He looked at his leader thoughtfully a moment. “What would make you happy?”

“You mean besides wringing her little neck?”

“Besides that.”

“I don't know. I…honestly do not know.” Maxum glanced out a window. “I better get going.”

“Right. Sunset.”

Maxum eyed him a moment. Doisy didn't know why his leader left at sunset every day, but he wasn't so obtuse he hadn't noticed it. And it wasn't that he didn't care. Whatever it was that had him leaving and staying away until after juquil's hour…it was serious. Doisy could sense that. Serious enough to have him jumping overboard in stormy seas. It didn't get more serious than that.

But if Maxum was deluding himself into thinking his men hadn't noticed or didn't have concerns, then he was not the man Doisy thought he was. Maxum was far too smart for that.

“One day” was all he said before he turned and left.

One day.

One day he would tell them what was going on.

But clearly, today was not that day.

A
iri didn't know what to expect when she entered the inn common room the next morning. Half of her fully expected them to be gone…and that half wished that was exactly what would happen, taking all the decision making out of the equation for her. The other half…well…she wanted them to be there. She wanted to join them on this next adventure—if for no other reason than to see how it all worked out.

So in truth she was relieved when she saw Doisy and Dru and Kyno readying their belongings. Doisy hefted a bag onto his shoulder and came up to her with a grin.

“Ready for our next adventure?”

“Are you?” she countered. “Has he told you what he's planning next?”

Doisy shrugged. “No. But I'm betting it'll be interesting.”

“Is that why you stick around? For the entertainment?”

“Sure. Why do you?”

Good question. “For the same reason, I guess. And gold. I want gold.”

“Don't we all?”

“But I'm not sure how much of that we're going to see this time out. He's not looking for a dragon's hoard this time.”

“What is he looking for?” Doisy asked with mild interest.

“A weapon.”

“Ah. Well, weapons have value. Especially enchanted weapons.”

“How did you know it was enchanted?”

“Why else would he go out of his way looking for it?”

“Oh. True. Sorry.” She was treating Doisy like he was an idiot. The man might be a bit shallow, but he wasn't stupid.

“Don't worry about it. Come on, let's pack up the horses.”

She nodded and turned to follow him through the door when out of the corner of her eye she saw Maxum leaving his room and stepping out onto the balcony. He was a commanding sight, a man sure of himself and his purpose in the world. He wore skintight breeches in a buff color, a linen shirt dyed a dark indigo, and a tooled leather vest. The shirt gaped open at the neck and she could see the chain to the talisman. His boots were a strong hard dark leather. They were loud against the wooden floorboards of the inn.

He looked down in her direction and a brooding expression entered his eyes. Well fine, she thought. If he was going to pout she'd just let him. She was sure he wasn't used to not getting his own way, but he was just going to have to cope with it. Hopefully he would get over it before too long. Otherwise it was going to be a very uncomfortable journey.

Once again she entertained the idea of staying in Calandria. But she only did so for a brief moment. There was time before winter set in. She would see how things went until then. If things didn't work out right she could always come back with Hero later on.

They were on their way out of the city within the hour. They traveled on in relative silence for a good long time. Then Dru pulled up beside her and gave her a shy sort of smile.

“We missed you at dinner last night.”

She laughed. “You're speaking for the group?” she asked.

He flushed. “Well…I missed you. Doisy was preoccupied as usual.” He gave her a meaningful look, making her laugh. “And Kilon was his usual sour self. Kyno…he never says much of anything. But when Maxum got back, it was clear he wasn't happy you were gone.”

“How was that clear?”

“Well. He kept grumbling something about ‘stubborn, willful women.' I can only assume he meant you.”

Good,
Airi thought. Let him think long and hard about the way he treated her.

“I wonder where we are off to this time,” Dru said.

“I'm going to hazard a guess and say the village of Corm.”

“Why there?”

“I'll let Maxum tell you that.”

Dru let it be and once again she found herself wondering how these men could so willingly follow Maxum wherever he wanted to go without question. It was a level of trust she wouldn't have associated with any of their personalities save maybe Dru. The young mage seemed very much the trusting sort.

It was well past noontide before they broke their trip to have something to eat. Her bags were packed with fresh supplies, so she was able to make quite a nice lunch for herself. As she sat down under a nearby tree, Maxum finally broke his wall of silence and rejection by coming over and sitting down beside her.

“We can't continue on like this,” he said, surprising her. “If I offended you, I'm sorry.”

She was shocked by his apology. He had never struck her as the sort to apologize for anything he did. She would have thought the eight hells would freeze over first. So, of course, she regarded it with suspicion.

“All right,” she said carefully. “This trip will go much more smoothly if you promise to keep your hands to yourself.”

He frowned a moment, then a slow, lazy sort of smile tilted over his lips. “I can't make promises I have no intention of keeping.”

“Oh! You're impossible!” she cried, throwing a grape at his head. “Why do you have to act like this? Why can't you just be…” She floundered for a word. “Decent!” she said at last.

“What about me ever struck you as being decent?”

“Nothing. That's the point.”

“There isn't any such thing as a decent person. As a thief I would think you would know that already.”

“Not as a thief, but as a woman. But as hard as my life has been, there are some decent people out there. I've actually come across a few.”

“And stolen from them?”

“No! I never steal from anyone who can't survive without whatever I take.”

“You tried to steal my talisman.”

“You could have easily survived without it.”

“How do you know that? Now that I have the talisman nothing can harm me. If you had taken it someone or something might have killed me.”

“That would have just been the natural order of things. It wouldn't have hurt you to lose it is the point.”

“You're wrong. It would have hurt me very much. But you didn't take the time to find that out. Now who isn't decent?”

“All right then,” she said, immediately challenging their small truce, “tell me why you need the talisman so much.”

“Isn't it enough that I say it's important? Do you have to know all the details?”

“I'm a very detail oriented person,” she said.

He fell silent, eating the cheese and bread he had brought over.

She sighed. “Why is it so hard for you to open up a little? I'm not asking you to bare your soul.”

“That's exactly what you're doing, you just don't realize. Suffice it to say, I'm going to need every advantage I can get out of these magical objects.”

She ate another grape, chewing thoughtfully as she regarded him. “You're going to tell me one day,” she predicted.

“Well, that day is not—”

“Today,” they said in unison.

She laughed at him and he smiled. He was so incredibly handsome when he smiled. It was bewitching.

Maxum was thinking the very same thing about her. Damn her, she was caught in his blood like a cold he couldn't seem to shake. And like a cold he felt as though he were burning up with fever whenever he was around her. Why? She wasn't anything special as far as women were concerned. She was too small for him. Too short, too slender. Too much like a boy…except for those surprising curves of hers that, thanks to him and that corset, were set off to quiet perfection. When he'd had his hands on her yesterday, when he had drawn her body into his, it had felt a little bit like coming home. Like finding a special place meant just for him.

And then she had torn it all away, rebuffing him hard for something that hadn't even happened. A child? What child? And there were ways of preventing a child. Didn't she know that? All she had to do was ask Doisy. The man had ways of keeping women from getting pregnant. He had to or else he'd have bastards all over the countryside.

He would have to see to it she and Doisy had a conversation about it. But it had to be done delicately or she'd get her back up again. He wanted her to know he wouldn't do that to her. He wouldn't just use her and leave her to deal with the consequences alone. He was a bastard, but not that much of one.

But he wasn't going to be anyone's father either. Or significant lover. He was cursed. And he was on a mission. He didn't have the right or the inclination to become close to anyone. That was why he liked his men. No one was looking for any great friendships or any kind of attachment. There was no responsibility to that. They could just as easily leave him as stay.

The same was true of her. She could take him or leave him. She was no more into attachments than he was. He was sure of it.

“Have you been on your own all your life?”

“Since I was eleven.”

“That's young for a girl.”

“My mother died. There wasn't much of a choice.”

“But she was good to you. Your mother?”

“Yes. As good as any mother, I guess. She loved me, if that's what you mean. I never doubted it. But life was hard on her. She had to scrape by. We starved sometimes. She worked hard to make a life for me, but it shouldn't be that hard. You shouldn't have a child if it's going to be that hard.”

Ah. Now he understood her fear of becoming pregnant. She had grown up the hard way. Not that it was easy for anyone in this world.

“My father was the condant of a small city. As the children of the ruler of the city we had…I guess you could say a comfortable life. But my father was hard on us. Cold even. He expected us to become great warriors and make our own way in the world. My eldest brother, Dethan, was meant to be condant upon my father's death and he was, but he was very rarely at the city. He was heading a massive army, acquiring cities as a child would acquire a collection of toys. He fought in the name of Weysa and for the glory of it all. He wanted to be immortalized, wanted to be remembered for all of the days of the future.”

“And did he reach that goal?”

He grimaced. “He did. But it was not all that he thought it would be.”

“It never is,” she said.

Airi felt more comfortable right then. Relieved, in fact, that he had finally deigned to share something of himself with her.

“How did you survive on your own at eleven? It must have been very hard for a small young woman like you.”

“It
was
hard. I learned to do what needed to be done to take care of myself.”

“You learned to steal.”

“Some. I worked for my food and board too, you know. I'm only a thief when I have to be. I stole from you because it was either that or go hungry.”

“And now look where you are. Comfortably rich in a matter of days. Isn't it funny how fate turns us?”

“Believe me, I'm thanking Hella every day.”

“The goddess of fate and fortune has very little to do with it. She doesn't care about what happens to you, you can bet on that.”

“You say that, and yet you talk as though you believe in the gods.”

“I believe the gods are there. And they are, trust me. But the gods don't have time for us the way people pray they do. They are selfish, cruel creatures.”

“They sound no better than the rest of us mortal beings.”

“They aren't. Come on. Let's go. We're still two days out from Corm if the innkeeper was telling me true. But it's right along this road.”

“That will make for easy going. That's something I guess.”

“We will find the temple,” he said firmly. “And we will get that blade.”

She didn't respond to that. There was nothing to say. They would or they wouldn't. Fate and fortune would guide the way. Of course, it didn't hurt to hedge bets.

Sunset approached and Maxum chose a campsite for them before heading off into the forest to be by himself.

One of these days, Airi was going to follow him. She had already made that agreement with herself. She would follow him in secret and get the answers she wanted. However, it would be hard to do that with four babysitters watching her every move. She would have to be clever and devise a plan. If there was one thing she was good at, it was getting what she wanted when she wanted it badly enough.