Borrowed Magic (28 page)

He pulled her to him and rested his chin
against her head. “He can’t continue to hurt people like this.”

No, he couldn’t. It gave him too much power.
It had to stop. No matter what the sacrifice.

Thirty

Maren gazed at the funeral pyre in silence. The heat was so
intense she briefly wondered if it might burn her skin. Not that it
mattered. Daric had given her everything. She hadn’t even been able
to save his life. The least she could do was stand here until the
end, when only the embers glowed against the night sky.

She’d never wanted to arrange for Daric’s
funeral, but she had. Adare was in no condition to do anything.
Philip was busy with the troops and making sure something like this
didn’t happen again. Kern would have volunteered, but that was
something Maren couldn’t allow. It would have been insulting to
Daric’s memory. So the task had fallen to her, the only remaining
member of the royal family – even if it had only been for a few
days.

Tomorrow morning, in light of there being no
heir and the law not allowing Adare to inherit the throne, a new
king would be chosen by the Council. If it was Kern… She wrapped
her arms around herself. If it was Kern, then unless she could come
up with something by tomorrow evening, he’d be crowned the next
day. If the Council didn’t choose Kern… She didn’t even want to
consider what would happen. Who else he’d torture.

She shuddered. She’d only seen Kern once
since yesterday, had spent most of her time comforting Adare and
arranging for the funeral. He’d spent most of his time meeting with
the Council. But just after sundown, as she left Adare’s chambers
so exhausted she could barely stand, she’d almost run right into
him. He looked down at her with an expression so self-satisfied she
thought she might be sick. Instead, she took a step back and raised
her chin.

An appreciative light entered his eyes and
he gave her a mocking bow. “My Lady.”

She felt him pull away the familiar pain
without even touching her and tried not to show her relief. She
wouldn’t give him the satisfaction – not when she could use his own
magic and do it herself. Instead, she’d turned and without a
backward glance stormed down the hall.

Now, the flames were almost gone, and the
crowd had thinned considerably. Even Adare had allowed herself to
be led to her room. Maren sighed and looked towards the castle,
only to meet Kern’s gaze. She prepared to do exactly what she’d
done the night before, but he blocked her path.

She scowled. “I know you did this.”

A hint of a smile touched his lips. “The
young man did this. He admitted it. You heard him yourself.”

“No.” She took a step back. “You did
this.”

“And what if I did?” he asked. “What
difference does it make? Daric’s still dead. I will still be king.
And you…” He stepped forward and ran a finger along her cheek. “You
will still be my wife.”

She slapped his hand away. “I hate you.”

He almost laughed. “I’m sure you do. But you
also need me. I don’t know how you’ve gotten through an entire day
without my help.”

She wanted to tell him, to throw it right in
his face, that she used his own magic every chance she had. Instead
she folded her arms across her chest. “It must be sheer willpower.”
She tried to step around him, but he caught her around the
waist.

He brushed his lips against her forehead,
and she felt the tiniest bit of pain evaporate before she pulled
herself out of his arms.

He only smiled in a way that made her want
to hit him. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning to take your pain. As
much as you’d like it, I’m not going to let you die on me quite
yet.”

“You’re not going to get away with this,”
she said as soon as his back was towards her.

He slowly turned. “You’d better hope I do.
If my plans were upset at this stage, I might have to hurt someone.
No matter what I promised. You wouldn’t want that. It’s what you’ve
been fighting for all along. Don’t forget it.”

Maren stared at the pyre. She wasn’t going
to forget, but she was going to stop him from hurting anyone else.
Somehow.

Hours later,
surrounded by piles of books that tumbled all around her, Maren
wasn’t quite so optimistic. She’d searched everything, not even
bothering to be careful or put everything away when she was done.
Her father would have been appalled. She wished Philip and Kira
could have helped, but Philip was with Kern, making security
arrangements for the trial. And Kira was with Adare. It was
probably better anyway. They’d risked too many meetings
lately.

Tonight, she’d focused her search on
poisons. Some weren’t powerful enough. Some worked too slowly. Some
listed ingredients she’d never heard of or couldn’t get in time.
None were exactly right. If she could have gone to Halef, he might
have been able to help. If she knew of another powerful mage… If.
It always came down to that one little word.

She put her head in her hands and realized
they were shaking. One day. Not enough time. Even if she did have a
plan that actually had a chance of working.

She climbed off the sofa and wandered to the
window, looking out over a city in mourning. Candles flickered in
windows. Everything else was dark.

She rubbed her eyes, so
tired she could barely think straight, but it didn’t matter. She
needed to do
something
. She rubbed her eyes again and turned, determined to search
until she found an answer – or she was dead.

The door clicked shut behind her, and she
turned to see Philip. There were shadows under his eyes and he sank
into a chair, exhausted. Then he dropped his face into his hands
and shuddered before meeting her eyes.

“Daric’s death is partly my fault. I could
have prevented it. Maybe.”

She rushed over and put her arms around him.
“Then it’s partly my fault too. I’ve known all along what he was. I
could have—”

“There’s something I haven’t told you.”

She waited as the silence built into
something tangible.

Finally, Philip thrust a hand through his
hair. “When I discovered Kern was my father, I was more afraid than
I’d ever been. I didn’t want to have his blood in me. I didn’t want
to be him. I think that’s why I said those terrible things to you.
Because I hated who I was, I thought you did too.”

“But that’s not who you are,” she
insisted.

“I could have been. A different father
figure and I would have been. It’s in me.” He took a deep breath.
“That’s one of the reasons I left, to discover how much like Kern I
really was. I went to find out how much magic I had. I didn’t want
to tell you where I was those first two years because I hated
myself.” He reached for her again, as if having her near would
somehow make what he had to say easier. This time she didn’t pull
away. The pain in his eyes was too much. “I went to an old woman, a
mage I’d heard about when I was growing up. I told her who I was
and that I wanted to know how much power I had.

“At first she was skeptical, didn’t believe
Kern had a son. But then she began to train me and she knew, just
as I did, that I am my father’s son. I’ve never told anyone what
happened during those two years, not even my father when I thought
he was Teige. So he didn’t know during that final battle that I’d
spelled my sword, hoping that magic would work where a normal blade
wouldn’t. It might have surprised him, but I doubt it. He must have
known I had magic. He used it to his advantage, pretending to die
in a way I would actually believe. Looking back, what little magic
I used would never have killed him. I should have known that at the
time. But I wanted him gone, and it was easier to believe he
was.”

His voice became
more desperate, and she sensed how difficult this
was, how hard he’d struggled to come to terms with his own
identity.

“But Kern still doesn’t know the whole
truth.”

He went silent, and she felt as if he’d
retreated to a different place. “What is the truth, Philip?” she
prompted.

He leaned his head against hers and closed
his eyes. Then he pulled back and held out his hand, palm up. A
blue sphere appeared, hovering just above his hand. It glowed with
such intensity it could have lit up a dark room. She stared, torn
between amazement and horror. It was the same glowing blue as the
lines that traced her body from Kern’s own magic.

“I’m a mage,” Philip said, crushing the
light into his fist. “Not just a mage with a little magic. And not
untrained. I have more power than I ever imagined. Even the woman
who trained me couldn’t believe what I could do. Sometimes I could
see the fear lurking in the back of her eyes at the ease with which
I learned. After two years, she told me to leave. There was nothing
more she could teach me. But it was more than that. She was scared.
Of me.”

Maren wished the woman was alive so she
could strangle her. “Then she didn’t know you.”

“Maybe not, but she knew what I could do. It
was enough.”

No wonder the smile had gone from his eyes.
“No, Philip.” She took his face in her hands. “You are not Kern. I
don’t care how powerful you are or what kind of misguided logic you
have convinced yourself to believe. You are good.”

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I
know. It took me a long time to realize that, but I do know. And
when she made me leave, I was determined to prove it. That’s why I
went after Kern.” His jaw clenched. “But there’s a part of me that
could be like him, that could relish the power. Even now, I want to
kill him. My own father, Maren. I want to watch him die.” His arms
tightened around her. “Especially now, after what he’s done to you.
And Daric. And the rest of Tredare.”

For a minute, she just let him hold her,
forgetting about everything except how it felt to be loved. “That’s
how you knew you weren’t under a spell. Whatever Kern did wouldn’t
work on you.”

He actually laughed. “I’ve placed so many
protective wards around myself that there isn’t a mage alive who
could put that kind of a spell on me.” His arms tightened around
her. “I want you to go away. I’ll take you. I can protect you from
him until this is over. And then…” He struggled to keep his voice
level. “And then…”

“And then I’ll die,” she finished for him.
“That’s the one thing we can’t change. But I can’t leave. I won’t
let you do this alone.

“Then we have to find a way to kill
him.”

She frowned. “How? Even you can’t just walk
up to him and put a knife through his heart. I’m sure he has as
much protection as you do.” She paused, filled with more hope than
she’d felt in a long time, as another thought, one she should have
already considered, hit her. “Why can’t you use your magic?”

“No!” He shook his head. “No.” This time his
voice was quieter. “I don’t want to use magic. That’s what he’d
do.”

“But you’re not him!”

“I can’t.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’m
afraid I’ll lose myself or do something I’ll regret. I’m afraid
someone else will get hurt. And I don’t even know that I could
defeat him.”

She stood and paced in front of him. “What
if he was distracted? What if he had to split his magic?”

Philip’s brows creased. “Maybe, but who else
could distrac—” Realization hit. “No! It’s not going to be
you.”

“It has to be me.” She swallowed hard. “He
sensed when I used his magic before. With the right spell, he’d
sense it again, and he’d be distracted enough for you to kill him.
Especially since he doesn’t know how powerful you really are.”

Philip grabbed her by the arms. “No!” The
anger in his eyes was frightening, but she didn’t look away.
Eventually, his head fell forward, his eyes closed in
acceptance.

She placed a hand against his cheek. “We
have to try.”

He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and
smiled sadly. “I just wish there was another way. Killing Kern
means losing you.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “I don’t
know how I’m going to live without you. You’ve been part of my life
for almost as long as I can remember, and I’ve loved you for most
of it.”

There was nothing she could say. No words of
comfort. No reassurance. Nothing.

He wiped away her tears and then bent and
pressed his lips against hers, softly at first, as if she were
fragile. But when her own arms went around his neck, he responded
with a desperation she’d never felt before. And she knew he was
accepting the inevitable. He was going to lose her after just
finding her again. He pulled her closer, pouring all his fear, his
love, his heartache, and his soul into hers.

Maren paced back
and forth across her room. Adare was truly asleep for the first
time in two days, and the Council was meeting to decide the new
king. She’d wanted more than anything to attend, but she’d been
refused. Only the Council and five or six men they’d specifically
invited were allowed in – among those Kern and Philip. The new king
would be chosen from among those in the room. They’d been closed
inside their chamber for most of the morning and stayed through
lunch. No one had gone in or out. And she was tired of
waiting.

She sat down and put her head in her hands
for a long time, focusing on breathing in and out and trying not to
think about the certain outcome of the Council meeting. When she
couldn’t stand it anymore, she raised her head, determined to sit
outside the Council door until someone emerged and told her what
was going on.

Instead she saw Philip, standing hesitantly
just inside her bedroom door.

“Well?” she finally dared after a few silent
moments.

He ran a hand over his face. “They asked me
to be king.”