Borrowed (Embracing Series) (20 page)

“Baby, it’s me Evan, I’m here now.”

“Oh Evan, she is dying. What am I going to do without her?” she cried

God, how could I take this pain away from her I felt so bad and I knew she was hurting. They finally turned the machines off and she was gone, Lila lost it.

It had been three weeks since our engagement and since Addison died. Lila had been so distance and all she did was cry, it’s like her losing Liam all over again. Hell, she wouldn’t eat or sleep. I worried about her so much. She was going home for Christmas but I was going to Utah. I hated that we wouldn’t be together but she needed to be with all of them. I needed to be with my dad. He hadn’t been doing well.

When it came time, we went our separate ways. My dad was so happy to see me, and my grandparents had even drove out to spend the weekend with us. It was great seeing all of them. Lila text me and said that her and her mom was shopping for wedding things. I told my family about the engagement and my dad was so thrilled. Gran, well she wasn’t, she still had a soft spot for Tatum, who was still with Thayer.

I had been home for a few days and couldn’t get a hold of Lila. I called her mom and she informed me that Liam was alive, they had found him. He wasn’t injured too badly, he has been in a hospital in Colorado. I took the first flight that I could to go get my fiancé, but it was too late. He had her back. He and I fought, and she and I argued but he had always had her. She was never mine, she was just borrowing me so she could push me back when he returned. She warned me, I didn’t listen though. I thought she was mine then.

“Lila, I love you so much baby. Are you just going to throw away everything we have to run back to him? You have been with me all this time, I’m the one who has been here for you through everything. Not him!” I said as I grabbed her arm

“I told you, I would go back to him. He has my heart, I can’t throw away what I have with him. He loves me more than anything and look what he has been through. There’s no way I can leave him.” She said as she wiped her tears.

“What the fuck can I do to change your mind? You are my fiancé Lila. I need you… You can’t leave me like this. You are ripping my heart out of my chest.”

“Evan…
please
… I can’t do this, I will go back to New York with you, but I’m coming back here.”

Fuck. I lost her. I lost Bryn, Tatum, and now Lila. I have messed everything up. I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. Everyone I wanted, wanted someone else.

We flew back to NYU and she got all of her stuff together. I was angry and hurt, I didn’t know what to feel. Brody and Zander tried to comfort me, but it wasn’t working. She told me over and over how sorry she was. How the hell is that supposed to make everything better?

“Lila, please be with me one last night. Let me love you one last time baby.” I said as I hugged her tightly. I needed her so goddamn bad, I wanted to fuck her so bad, and show her how I wanted her.

“Evan, it will only hurt you more. I love you so much, but I know it’s killing you to watch me go. I can’t hurt you anymore.” She said as she kissed me lips.

“Be with me, let me love you tonight, and I will let you go and be with him. Just give me this.
Please
.”

“Evan, just tonight and I’m going back.” She said as she started kissing me.

I pushed my lips into hers as hard as I could and heard a moan escape her mouth. I started undressing her, she wrapped her legs around my waist, and I pushed her against the wall as she reached down and unbuttoned my jeans. She took my length in her small hand and I let out a groan. “I love you so fucking much, Lila. I always will” I said as I ran my tongue down her neck. I carried her to the counter and took the rest of her clothes off and positioned myself between her legs.

I started kissing her lips and worked my way down to her breasts. I rubbed her left nipple between my fingers as I sucked her right one. She was so ready for me I could tell, she threw her head back against the cabinet and said, “Now Evan, I want you inside of me now.” I couldn’t just yet I had to savor every last minute with her, she put her hands between her legs and started massaging her swollen bud. She was so fucking sexy, I grabbed her ankles and scooted her half way of the counter, I kneeled down and went straight to where her fingers were and replaced them with my mouth. She tasted so sweet and salty.

“Oh… God… Evan, right there, please don’t stop.” She begged as she pushed my head further into her sweetness. She had already came several times. I was so goddamn hard, I wanted to be in her so bad.

“You ready for me, baby?” I asked as I kissed her neck. She grabbed my head with both hands and pushed her lips onto mine, she sucked my lower lip in between her teeth and dug her nails into my back.

“Now…Evan, I want to feel all of you.” She said as she reached down and guided me inside of her. I could feel her tighten around my swollen cock, I wanted to make love to her all night long. With each thrust it brought back all the wonderful memories we shared, all the time we had made love in the last year. All the little trips we took. I had spent the last year of my life loving this woman, and now tonight was our last night together. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes, I didn’t hold back and I let them fall. I showed her how much I loved her with every inch of me deep inside her. I pulled out, knowing I would come at any moment.

“Evan, God I love you so much. I love the way you make love to me. Please come inside of me. I want all of you tonight, let me have it all.” She said as she cried with me. I guided myself back inside of her and gave her a couple thrust, I could feel every drop exploding inside of her. We were both panting and out of breath, I laid my head on her chest and cried like I had never cried before. I cried like a goddamn baby.

“I hate seeing you like this, Evan. Please know it’s hurting me to do this to you.”

“I know, you have to follow your heart and you were never mine,” I said as I pulled my jeans up.

“Stay with me tonight, just hold me.” She said as she kissed my neck

“Okay, I will.” I said as I ran my hands through my hair. I was a wreck. I held her in my arms all night long, I got up and ran to the café and got her a BLT and left her a letter. That would be the last I saw of one of the woman who borrowed my heart.

It’s been four months since I have seen Lila, she had a life with Liam. Brody called me to tell me that her father had passed away. I knew I shouldn’t go but I needed to. Nikki and Brody would be there, so I figured it would be okay. I needed to pay my respects and get on with my life. Yep, I could do this. I got ready and I flew to Cali. I arrived a little early, so I went to Addison’s grave and took flowers. I really liked her and I knew that she was all for Lila and I being together.

“Well, I’m sure you know by now that your cousin is back. I’m really glad he is okay. The fucked up part is I lost Lila forever. Hell, I knew she was never mine. I was just filling that void. Ads, I know Lila could really use you right now. So please watch over her. You will be seeing Mr. Carls soon.”
As I stood up I saw a yellow butterfly land on Addison’s stone.

I arrived at the memorial service and I saw everyone, but I just stood alone, I didn’t want to intrude. Lila was standing in between Nikki and Liam. Seeing her hold onto him made me sick. I couldn’t hate him though, I knew when I fell for her that she was his. I knew eventually she would run back to him with open arms. Lila noticed me and after the service she walked over to me, along with Nikki and Brody.

“Evan, thank you for coming. I’m really glad you did.” She whispered in my ear as she hugged me.

“Lila, I’m really sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man.” I said as I hugged her back.

Just then Liam walks over and grabs Lila’s hand. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Evan, thanks for coming. It means a lot to Lila.”

“No thanks needed Liam, she knows I will always be here for her.” I said as I felt my fist ball up. The hate he had in his eyes when he looked at me. I did him a favor, I kept his girl company while he couldn’t.

“Evan, why don’t you join us all back at the house? We are having dinner and drinks. It would mean a lot if you did.” Lila said as she touched my arm

Damn, why did she have to be so beautiful? I still loved her no matter what she had done. She was just following her heart. The heart that I was madly in love with, the heart that borrowed mine and then broke it.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea Lila. I better be going.”

“No, don’t be silly, you can join us.” She said has she pulled my arm toward the rest of the crowd. I wasn’t sure how everyone else felt about her ex fiancé tagging along. But I was very uncomfortable, and felt like I was intruding.

Once we were at the Carls’s, everyone was sitting around laughing, joking, and eating. Lila made me a plate and brought it to me. I could see Liam staring us down.

“Oh thanks Lila, but I’m not hungry. I ate this morning.” I said as I tried not to look into her beautiful eyes.

“Evan, you came all the way here, and I know you like potato salad so please eat with us.” She said as she sat next to me.

Ahh hell, I couldn’t say no to her. I take the plate and I started to eat and Liam walked over. He looked at the two of us sitting there eating and then told Lila he was going to fix himself a plate. Oh fuck, she fed me and not him that thought made me smile.

I ate, then talked to Mrs. Carls, Nikki, and Brody. I figured it was time for me to go. I couldn’t stay here any longer. Looking at my darling Lila with her future husband was breaking me. Fuck, even with everything that happened with Bryn, this had hurt me just as bad. I lost Bryn, Tatum, and now Lila.

“Lila, I’m going to go. I wish you the best and take care of yourself.” I said as I hugged her.

“Wait, I want to talk to you in private please?” she asked as she took my and lead me out into the guest house. I didn’t see Liam anywhere, he must have not known she was bringing me out here.

“Lila, I should go. This is hurting me so bad to see you with him.” I said as I ran my hands through my hair.

She walked over and ran her hand over my face, God she smelled great. She was wearing a black low cut dress with a pair of black knee boots. She leaned forward and starting running her hands across my chest. Fuck, what is she doing? My dick was instantly hard, and I hadn’t been in her in four months.

“Lila, what are you doing? We can’t do this anymore. You made your choice.” I said as I kissed her forehead.

“I want you Evan, you are all I think about. I need you inside of me one last time. I have dreamed of making love to you again. I need you now, please Evan, you can’t walk away from me right now. I’m so broken inside and out. I love Liam and I will continue to be with him. But he isn’t you. I fell so fucking hard for you and it’s driving me crazy.” She said as she started kissing me.

“Lila, this is the last time. I will give you whatever you need or want.” I said as I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist. She started unzipping my pants and stroking me, I slid her panties to the side and I slid myself inside of her. She was so warm and wet. “Oh Lila, I love you so fucking much. I have wanted to be with you every goddamn day since you left.”