Book of Love (13 page)

I heard his breathing quicken. He leaned
toward me, but I stayed frozen, listening to the leather squeak
under his shifting weight. He touched my face with a warm, shaking
hand, brushing a strand of my auburn hair from my eyes.

“
You shouldn’t hide
yourself, Em.” His thumb smudged across my lower lip, removing some
of my lipstick. “I want to know who you really are. You’re always
hiding, and I don’t understand why.”

I shut my eyes, my breathing shallow. “I’m
afraid, Wes. Afraid of the things that are happening to me, and I’m
afraid that no one will understand.”

“
I understand,” he
protested.

I felt tears forming. “It’s hard to be me,
especially when my older sister is the perfect child. Jane’s smart,
and—”

“
You
are
smart, Em. Why else would you be in that math class with me?
You have to let yourself see that you are beautiful, and different
from your sister. It’s good to be unique.” His hand grazed down my
neck, resting on my collar bone.

I was only smart because I
knew the answers. All I had to do was listen in on someone else’s
thoughts, stealing their explanations. “But you like Jane.
Everybody
likes Jane,” I
remarked. I knew in this moment that was a lie, but I couldn’t get
past the fact that he’d think of her eventually.

His eyes looked frustrated. “That’s not
true.”

He hooked his hand behind my neck and pulled
me close. He pressed his lips to mine and my chest rose in shock.
His kiss was soft at first, but as the emotion grew, and his lips
wrapped around mine, things became more intense. His other hand
went to my side, pulling me closer, though the shifter got in the
way. We pressed together, heat rising between us. The intensity
grew until I was nearly lost inside his erotic thoughts. I lifted
my hand and rested it on his chest, urging him to slow down. He
stopped, our foreheads touching as we stared into each other’s
eyes, breathing hard.

My vision was flooded with the gold of his
irises—a color I’d dreamed about almost every night. Years I’d
spent pretending that the thoughts he’d had for Jane were actually
thoughts of me. Now, they really were.

Wes leaned back against the seat. “Sorry,”
he whispered, bowing his head.

I was too shocked to move as I tried to
assemble the pieces of what had just happened.

“
Sorry, I just…” He
apologized again.

I tried to smile away the embarrassment,
hearing his thoughts on the same matter. “You don’t need to
explain, Wes.” I sat back against my seat, gripping the wheel. “I
won’t say anything to Jane.”

He looked at me then, his eyes guilty and
his thoughts fearing he’d upset me. “No, that’s not it, Em.”

I licked my lips, recuperating as I grabbed
the shifter once more. I was used to men that only saw me as easy,
but Wes was different—he had stopped. I knew, however, that a small
part of him had stopped because of Jane. Jealously pulsed through
my blood. Why was it she could destroy him as she did, lure him in
and ruin him for anyone else to love? The car was still rumbling
with life, and I threw the gear into reverse with a pitch of
resentment.

Jane would always be in my way. It was a
fact of life.

Max:

What Jane didn’t know was that I’d been to
her house before—many times. Since the day I saved her from the
wreck, I’d visited at least once a year. I felt like I knew Jane so
well, but I needed to remember that she didn’t know me at all.

I’d been there for every dream, and because
of this, I knew every corner of her imagination, and every one of
her fears. It was this world of hers that made me love her only
more. I could be there for her, though she’d never known that.
Since I’d saved her, I was her angel. We were connected, and there
was nothing that could separate that. I would never lose her again.
I heard her thoughts and hers alone. I felt her heart, and I knew
every emotion, especially her trepidation.

Naturally, feeling all
this had its downside, chiefly pertaining to her friend Wes. I knew
the nature of their friendship, and the level to which they had
taken the relationship to this summer. It would be a lie to say
that it hadn’t bothered me, but what could I do? In part, this was
the main reason why I was here. I was jealous of the emotion Jane
had shared with him, because
I
wanted to be that man for her. At the very least,
I wanted the chance.

We walked up onto the porch as Jane’s mom
stood with the door ajar. She had a light smile on her face—one I
could tell was subduing enthusiasm.

“
Mom, this is Max Gordon.
He’s new at school.” Jane kept her head down, as though afraid and
embarrassed at the same time.

“
Hi,
Max
Gordon.
I’m Sarah.” She looked impressed by me—impressed by my
last name.

I bowed my head and offered my hand for a
shake. “Sarah, good to meet you.”

Sarah quickly turned her attention back to
Jane, giving her a less than discreet wink, her mouth silently
forming the syllables of my last name. Sarah then looked toward the
driveway. Her grin faded quickly, replaced with a look of
confusion. “Where’s your sister?”

I felt Jane’s heart begin to race.

I stepped in and answered for her. “She’s
with Wes, ma’am.”

Sarah began to laugh. “Oh,
please, Max…” she spoke between breaths. “Don’t call me
ma’am.
It makes me feel
old.”

I grinned, nodding in agreement. “Alright,
Sarah.”

Sarah nodded, and then changed the subject
back to Emily. “With Wes?” She had wide eyes, looking to Jane for
an explanation.

Jane shrugged. “Yeah, so?”

I felt a strange sense of jealousy from
Jane, and I looked at her, feeling a ping of jealousy myself.
Initially she had seemed delighted by the fact that Emily was with
Wes, but her thoughts on the drive home had slowly grown sour. My
smile faded.

What if Jane didn’t like me?

I’d thought about it, but figured since Jane
didn’t truly seem to love Wes, then it would be easy for me to step
in. I was certain of the fact that our souls were connected, but
what if Jane didn’t understand it yet? I’d had close to a century
to figure it, dwelling alone with the empty feeling in my soul, a
gaping hole that Jane’s love could soon fill. Jane, on the other
hand, she’s only had a few stolen moments with me, only a small
inkling of what our connection could be.

Jane smiled at me with bashful eyes. I
watched her lashes flutter, my own heart begging to beat, though it
couldn’t.

“
Oh, Jane, don’t look so
demure! I’m relieved to see Emily engaging with some healthy
company for once.” She patted Jane on the arm. Jane looked annoyed.
“Well, Max. Won’t you come in?” Sarah opened the door for me,
ushering me in with her hand.

Jane’s frustration changed, and her thoughts
returned to thoughts of me.

“
Sure,” I agreed
politely.

I heard the distant rumble of a familiar
car, and looked in the direction of the sound. Wes’s Camaro was
nearing, but still about a mile away. He was bound to get in my
way.

“
Max, what is it?” Jane
noticed my attention falter.

I looked back at her. “Oh, nothing.” I
walked into the house.

Wes:

I hadn’t said another word
to Emily. I was too shocked by everything that had unraveled in the
past hour.
Why had I kissed her?
Was it the adrenaline of what had happened? Or
the fact that Emily seemed to understand? Surely I’d just ruined
any chance I would ever have with Jane. Emily would tell her. I
knew it.

I watched her from the corner of my eye, her
hands tight on the wheel. She was tense, and I wondered what
exactly she could be thinking about. Then I realized that she was
probably thinking about what I was, and hearing every bit of my
confusion.

I cursed to myself.
She can hear you, idiot!

I stopped thinking all together, listening
instead. Her heart was beating hard, the sound echoing in my head
as though my senses had been heightened by what had happened. I
could feel the breath passing her lips, the hair on my arms alert
and standing on end.

A part of me wanted to deny the sudden
comfort I felt with Emily, and the fact that in the end, she
understood, but at the same time, I had to admit that it felt good.
If Jane had been with me in this moment, it would have all gone
wrong. Jane is used to being the victim, and as such, she has no
room in her heart to understand my troubles. It was always about
Jane and her father’s death, as though no one else in history had
ever suffered the same loss. It was always about her, and never
me.

Emily, though, she had
room. She seemed to care despite the way I’d always viewed her.
Regardless of the fact that it seemed Emily had her own issues, she
was also making room for mine. There was something about the way
she wanted to share the burden that made all the difference. There
was a feeling of
us
here, and I liked it.

I swallowed, suddenly
afraid of what I was and what I felt. It was so sudden, and yet, it
was as though I’d known it would happen. As soon as I saw the bird,
I’d felt its heart, its whole body, and then I was
in it
—just like that.
Somehow, the thing had become me, its presence enough to affect my
every muscle, but it felt so right.

All the pain I’d suffered had been like an
itch I couldn’t scratch. A part of me wanted to ignore what had
happened, but I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. I began to
wonder if this power was something I could control, or if it was
something that would come at anytime.

What was I?
And why was it happening? Clearly I couldn’t try
to hide it away. Questions began to surface inside me, questions
about my parents, my past, and my future.

I leaned my head into my
hand, exhaling hard. I heard Emily adjust in her seat, her heart
still racing. I lifted my head from my hands, looking at
Emily.
Her heart beating?
I knew she saw me staring, but she refused to
look at me. I heard her heart beat faster, the blood in her veins
pulsing.
Why could I hear this?
I tried to shake the sound away but I
couldn’t.

Emily glanced at me then. “Are you alright?”
Her voice cracked. I’d never heard her sound that way—afraid.

“
Yeah…” I
thought to lie, but who was I kidding? She knew regardless, and was
only asking me because that’s what you’re supposed to do. “I mean,
well,
no.”

She furrowed her brows. “No? Is it happening
again?”

I shook my head. “It’s nothing bad, no. It’s
just, my hearing is so intense. Your heart beat… it’s…”

Emily looked aghast.
“My
heart?”

“
Yeah,
Em. It’s just…
so loud.”
It felt strange to say her name now, as though it
had new meaning—
Fear. Friendship.
Love.

“
Oh.” She brought her hand
to her chest, and her cheeks flushed.

I laughed, hearing it race even harder
now.

She gave me annoyed look. “Wes, stop
laughing!”

I couldn’t stop.

“
Stop
thinking!”
she squealed.

I continued to chuckle. “Sorry, it’s just
that, you’re so—”

“
Shut
up,
Wes,” she snapped.

Emily skidded onto our street. I grabbed the
car door for support. “Hey,” I growled, hearing the rubber of my
tires scuff across the cement.

Emily glared at me, her
lips tight and her eyes glowing. I smiled.
Why did I smile?
We turned into my
driveway and she threw the car in park, throwing the weight of the
vehicle forward. She ripped the keys from the ignition, and tossed
them at me without saying a word. She snatched her bag from the
backseat and stormed from the car. I felt bad, grabbing the door
handle and getting out as she stormed across the lawn toward her
front door.

“
Hey,
Em.
Wait.”
I ran after her, slamming the car door behind me. I grabbed
her arm and she stopped, spinning on her heel.

“
What?”
She was pouting, her
cheeks red with anger.
Sexy
anger. “Stop that!” She squealed.

The corner of my lip turned up. “Em, calm
down.”

She huffed dramatically.

“
I’m sorry, Em.” I dropped
my hand from her arm. “Come on, you’ve got to let me have a little
fun. After all, you can hear my thoughts. I think in retrospect, I
have the worst end of this.”

The front door opened
then, and I saw Jane look out into the yard.
Shit,
I’d forgotten about driving
her home. I stepped away from Emily. Emily looked instantly
hurt.

“
Wes!” Jane yelled. “Where
have you guys been?” Her face was demanding. I could hear her
heart, too, her blood pumping as fast as Emily’s.

Emily scanned my face for excuses, knowing
that though she was mad at me, the number one priority was hiding
what had just happened, as we’d agreed.

“
Er…
we were getting something
we needed for Math class,” I quickly replied.