Bones Would Rain from the Sky: Deepening Our Relationships with Dogs (24 page)

rules about this resource. In fact, if
she acted in anything but tolerant ways that included
Flink, the resource she valued so much was
unavailable to her. Without raising her voice, without
having to use any physical force, Kathryn made
her point in a way that made perfect sense to the
dog. And Meiske demonstrated that this was understood
and valid for her. [Had it not made sense,
Meiske's behavior would not have shifted and might
even have gotten worse, a common canine response
to being confused by unclear or invalid messages.)
The message was clear: Not yours. Mine. And
importantly, mine to share with you if
you act in ways I find acceptable. Sharing a
resource with a lower-status animal is typical
only of very high ranking animals.
While initially Kathryn felt like many
owners-uncomfortable with such an approach, feeling that
it smacked of dictatorship and perhaps even an ugly
level of control-she learned to let the dogs tell
her whether or not this approach was one that made sense
to them. When we let our emotional interpretations of
our actions override the reality of what the dog's
behavior tells us is working (or not working) for him,
we have stepped out of a relationship and into something
that exists only in our own minds. Most of us, at
one time or another, have been in human relationships
where another person refused to see or understand our
behavior and instead assigned their own interpretation
or value system to the
situation. It is maddening at best, and at some
level is an act of self- centeredness that neatly
excludes us and shapes the world according to the other's
beliefs.

let's make a trade!
While high status is revealed in the control or
access to resources and in leadership activities,
guarding food or other possessions is a slightly
different story. Here an understanding of canine
culture and "dog law" is important to keep us
from making mistakes we do not intend to make.
Faced with the question of how to entertain three
six-week-old puppies who appear to be nothing but
biting and chewing machines (all right, in their spare time
they are eating, peeing and pooping machines as well),
we've rummaged through the freezer to come up with
perfectly sized puppy bones. Raw beef

bones, they are just right for small, eager
jaws and provide a bit of nutrition as well, as
the pups use their sharp teeth to strip bits of meat
and fat from the bones. For the sake of uninterrupted
chewing time, we've blocked the adult dogs from the
puppy pen for a few hours. When I wander out to see
how the puppies are faring, I open the gate, and
immediately, all the adults leap over the low barrier that
keeps the puppies where we want them. With
wriggles of delight, the puppies abandon their
bones and dash to greet their elders.
I warn the adults to leave the bones alone, and they
do, but in their sidelong glances at and casual
passes near the bones they make it clear that they're
keeping a close eye on the little treasures in
case I either change my mind or forget. The
initial excitement of reunion over, the puppies
return to their bones. I watch as puppy Bird
grabs one, drawing two-year-old Bee's
attention. Nose down, clearly intent on the bone,
Bee approaches Bird, who deftly spins
away, keeping her prize out of reach. After just two
or three determined avoidance spins, Bee lets
the puppy wander off, watching with a soft expression and
wagging tail as Bird struggles to carry a bone
easily as big as her head.
As Bird demonstrated, even very young puppies are
granted the right to exercise one of the most respected
laws of canine society: possession.
No matter how low-ranking the dog, if he has
something in his mouth or immediate vicinity, he has a right
to defend it
if he wants to.
Wolf expert David Mech has observed this
same behavior in wild wolves, something he
calls the "ownership zone" around the wolf's mouth.
To be fair with our dogs, we need to remember this
when working with them so that they learn to voluntarily give
up possessions if asked; should we forget, we
might get a response from the dog that surprises
or upsets us but equally shocks the dog in the
rudeness of our own behavior!
Generally speaking, the higher the dog's status, the
larger the zone around him that constitutes "vicinity."
Very high ranking dogs might place something quite a
distance from their paws and still have it "in their possession."
This was a particularly favorite sport of my dog
Bear, who would make a big show of some prize
to puppies who needed to learn a lesson or two

about respecting this most basic canine
law. With much drama, Bear would lie down,
deliberately placing the object as far from his paws
as the reach of his head and neck allowed. Depending on
how sophisticated the puppies were socially, Bear
might simply just wait for a puppy to show interest,
never taking his eyes off the youngster and quick to warn the
puppy at the first hint that the puppy was thinking about
snatching the bone. A more advanced pup might be
given the very casual act, in which Bear appeared quite
uninterested in the bone though he was actually keeping
tabs on the pup in his peripheral vision.
Attempts by the pup to grab the object in this
setting were often met with more dramatic vocalizations
and fierce air snaps.
Lower-ranking dogs might need to have it directly
under their chin or actually in their mouth for the possession
to be recognized. Bird, for example, would not have
dared to put her bone down in Bee's presence comat
most, she would have put the bone on the ground and then
hovered directly over it. Generally speaking, there
is an inverse relationship between the distance at which a
dog feels the need to protect a possession and his
level of confidence. A deeply confident dog
might not even glance up as you walk directly past
him while he's working on a delicious
bone, while a much less confident dog might start
anxiously growling the moment you enter the room or
look his way. (note: Appropriately handled
from early puppyhood, a dog should not feel anxious
or worried about his possessions, at least in regard
to people.

But this requires deliberate and systematic
desensitization such as offered in Dr. Ian
Dunbar's program,
Sirius Puppy Training. right-brace
While Bee, a young adult, could have snatched the
bone from the twelve-pound puppy, her response
to Bird was the same as it would have been if her older
brother Grizzly had had a bone-interested
investigation, evidence of "Boy, I'd like that" but also
respectful acknowledgment of "No, sorry, this is
mine!" even when it was given by a six-week-old
puppy. This is not to say that possession gives the
possessor undisputed rights to keep his prize,
whatever it may be. A high-status dog can use his
status to intimidate another dog into dropping a
possession or walking away from food by using nothing

more than a look. At one house we lived
in, there was an old in-ground pool, perfect for the
dogs, who greatly enjoyed retrieving balls and
bumpers by diving off the side to swim in fierce
competition to be the first to get there. Our oldest male
at the time, Banni, decided that in his old age,
he didn't have a prayer of beating the youngsters to the
ball, and after a while, he adopted a new
strategy. We'd throw in a ball and he'd watch
as the young dogs launched themselves with exuberant
splashes, eager to beat each other to the toys.
While they exhausted themselves swimming hard, Banni
would walk over to the stairs-the only exit from the
pool-and wait. In order to get out of the pool, they
had to pass him, and at that point, he'd exert his
status with a pointed stare; reluctantly, they'd
drop the ball or bumper, and it was his. Sometimes,
a dog would turn his head away from Banni and try
to sneak past. This worked some of the time, especially if
there were several dogs approaching at once with
balls. Some dogs would deliberately swim around
for a while, waiting for someone else to be the
sacrificial lamb at the stairs, and then, while
Banni was occupied with that dog, they would dash by and out
of the pool.
With something in his possession, a low-ranking
dog may defend it even against higher-status dogs.
Even at the tender age of six weeks, Bird
included a low growl with her evasive maneuvers
to let Bee know that she meant to keep her bone.
Other than being a fascinating glimpse into dog
behavior, what does this mean for us in our
relationships with our dogs? It points to the reality that
status alone is insufficient for our dogs
to willingly surrender objects, whether food or
toys. Even with a dog
who respects you as the high-status family
member, the natural inclination to simply pick up
the object and evade you is a perfectly
natural, reasonable and not disrespectful
response. From the dog's perspective, he is
within his rights to do so. Our attempts to either wrest the
object from his jaws or to intimidate him into giving
it up may, understandably, be met with a fully canine
response of growls and warnings. We're not acting
like leaders or high-status family members;
we're just acting rudely.
Understanding that in a dog's world, possession is

nine-tenths of the law leads us to choose a
different approach in teaching the dog to voluntarily
surrender anything in his possession. Whenever we are
able to gain voluntary compliance from another, we
sidestep the potentially thorny moments of conflict
and possible confrontation. We already apply this
principle in our human relationships-forcing someone
to accede to your demands may, in the short run,
result in "success" if you're willing to view
success as simply the achievement of your goals.
But compelling another's cooperation has long-term
effects; you may have won the battle but lost the war
and possibly damaged the relationship. Voluntary
actions leave dignity intact, and for any social
animal, the value and importance of "saving face"
should not be underestimated. Forced compliance can lead to a
spiraling effect: A dog who has a bit of
garbage wrestled from his mouth may give it up-that
time. Next time, however, he may be even quicker
to defend his prize and, now aware that
you're
willing to engage in a physical confrontation, be
prepared to fight back. At the first sign of any
interest on your part, the dog may growl or run
off. This can quickly escalate to a nasty cycle with
emotions and frustrations running high on
both sides.
There's a need to both respect the value of what the
dog considers important and to balance that with the
practical reality that like children, dogs sometimes need
to be kept safe from some of the things they may find,
steal or be given that may not be good for them. The
easiest approach is to teach the dog that
voluntarily surrendering any items to you is a good
and profitable thing. One way to teach this is to set up
specific training sessions where you systematically
ask the dog to "trade" what he has in his mouth
for a particularly yummy treat in your hand. When he
releases the item, you quietly pick it up while
simultaneous ly popping the treat in his mouth. Then, and this is the
critical part, you return his treasure to him.
Repeated over and over with every item you can think of, the
dog learns that surrendering his treasure earns him a
treat as well as the return of his possessions.
Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it tool
Working with a dog from a local animal shelter, I was

amused by his attempts to both retain a
stuffed toy banana and eat the proffered liver in my
hand. For a good minute or more, the dog tried every
possibility he could imagine to shift the banana in
his mouth to make room for the liver, but when that didn't
work, he finally dropped the toy and reached for the treat.
Since his behavior indicated he was quite anxious about
losing the rare opportunity to play with a toy
(shelter dogs often lead terribly deprived
lives, since keeping them alive takes priority
over the niceties of toys and play time), I did
not reach for the dropped toy with my hand, but instead moved
quietly and stepped on it with a foot. Had I
reached directly for the toy, the dog might have felt
the need to gulp the treat and then desperately lunge
for his precious toy.
Instead of reaching for the toy, I tossed another treat
past him, so that he had to turn away from me and hunt
briefly for the liver. This gave me time to take
advantage of a loophole in the canine possession
law-if you voluntarily turn your attention away
from an object and another dog swoops in and takes
it, that's fair. Puppies and determined young dogs
learn to patiently wait as close as another dog
will allow, watching and waiting for that moment when something
draws the possessor's attention away.
Once the attention is truly shifted to something
else, they make their move, looking very much like a
runner stealing a base. I've not seen a normal
dog chase down the one who successfully took the
possession under these conditions (though I have seen them
chase a dog who tried a snatch from right under the
owner's watchful eye!) but the ritual of "It's
mine!" and "Give it up!" can and often does start
all over again.
Though the dog noticed that I had the toy in my
possession as he turned back to me, it had been
accomplished "fairly" according to his canine
perspective and without ever making him feel threatened.
Best of all, from his point of view, I returned
it to him with a smile. After a few minutes of
practice, the dog was agreeable to giving me the toy
by placing it in my hand in return for a treat. He had
learned to trust that I would keep my word and wanted
to just momentarily trade one for the other; trading with me
did not mean the loss of his toy.
Eventually, over time, I would have gone a step
further and occasionally begun to keep the item I had

traded for, but would have returned to him another
toy or suitable treasure so that the notion of "if you
give me this, I'll give you that, and then you'll get
a toy back" was firmly in place. Finally, I
would have worked with the dog so that even without a specific
trade in mind, he would volunteer whatever he had
for my interested examination. I love how dogs
watch me with great curiosity as I peer at the
item and even sniff it; some look just a wee bit
concerned if I am too enthusiastic about their
prize, while others wag their tail in agreement that
it is indeed wonderful! What I want and work for
is the dog to wait patiently for me to return the
item, which I do within a few seconds, usually
telling them, "That's really very special! Thank
you!"
Practiced in calm, nonconfrontational
settings, teaching a dog to trade is preparation for the
day when you will not be able to return his treaty, an
expensive shoe or a chicken bone. When Bee as
a teenage dog pranced into the living room with an entire stick
of butter, I had to merely inquire with happy
curiosity, "Well, well, what have you got?" and
she trotted directly to me, pleased as
punch to hand over her loot. Though I did not
return the butter, I was quick to tell her how
pleased I was that she had let me have it, and together, we
ran to the kitchen to find a tasty reward. I then
made quite sure that I quickly located a suitable
toy and played with her briefly. Butter safely
retrieved, Bee happily settled down with the
toy, and all ended pleasantly with no upset
feelings on either side.
While undisputed access to resources is a key
act of leadership, we need to also remember that from the
dog's point of view, even a small puppy has
the right to keep what is actually in their mouth.
Understanding this cardinal law of canine behavior, we
can find ways to encourage our dogs to cooperate with
us in ways that will keep them safe and not damage the
relationship, as might happen when we act in ways
that make no sense from a canine perspective.