Boarlander Boss Bear (Boarlander Bears Book 1) (11 page)

Today had been hellish. It had been windy, which not only kicked Harrison’s instincts up, but made it more dangerous to cut trees. Mason and Kirk were hard workers, but Mason was used to being behind a processor, Kirk was a sawmill worker, and neither had a ton of experience cutting trees on the side of a mountain. A deadly combination that kept Harrison instructing them more than getting his own work done.

They’d missed Damon’s numbers, and by a lot, even though they’d all worked until sundown. Add to that, Clinton had been a bear on a rampage, and had Changed twice during the shift when they’d gotten into yelling arguments on the jobsite. And then he’d pitched a fit when Harrison had ordered him to come along for dinner at Moosey’s Bait and Barbecue. It was Audrey’s first day of work, and he wanted them there to show support. She deserved to build a bond with shifters like them after all the lonely years. Plus, over the last few days, he’d noticed a massive change in her. She was joking and playing with the crew, opening up little by little. She even owned being a tiger shifter now, where she’d been utterly secretive about that part of her life when he’d first met her.

Oh, Harrison knew part of it was him. She was falling for him like he was for her, but he knew better than to take all the credit when the others were so clearly a part of her growing confidence.

“I still don’t know why I had to come,” Clinton groused from the front seat of Harrison’s truck.

“Dude, just eat some barbecue and stop bitching,” Kirk said from the back seat.

“I don’t approve of what is happening, and it’s horse crap that I’m forced to participate in all this kumbaya shit.”

“Clinton, kindly shut the fuck up before I put my boot up your poop-chute,” Bash muttered from the back seat.

Clinton turned in the passenger’s seat and started punching at Bash, who was kicking up front with his big muddy work shoes.

Harrison slammed on the brakes in a parking spot outside of Moosey’s and shoved Clinton hard against the window. He gripped his shirt, pinning him in place, and gritted out, “I’m beyond sick of your shit, man. You always hurt Audrey. You can see that, right? The way you treat her makes her smell sad and look sad, and she’s been through enough rejection in her life. Do you seriously not care about someone who obviously cares about you? You know the beers that magically showed up in your fridge the other day? Her. You know the old barbecue grill that just happened to show up on your back porch? She spent four freaking hours refurbishing it.
For you
. Stop being an asshole.” Harrison released his shirt and growled as Clinton immediately got out of the truck and slammed the door.

“C-team,” Mason muttered, shaking his head as he got out.

Harrison scrubbed his hands over his face. He wanted to throw the damned truck into the woods just to work off some of his agitation. He’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but he hadn’t expected it to be this hard.

Maybe this was a bad idea. He didn’t want to stress Audrey out more on her first day. She had an hour left on her shift, and he didn’t want to ruin the end of the night by putting Clinton in her path.

He cut the engine and turned off the headlights, then followed the guys across the gravel parking lot.

Moosey’s had started as a bait shop for the fishermen who traveled here from all over. Locals and tourists alike had made it thrive enough that Joey Dorsey, the owner, had added on a barbecue joint on the side that looked like an old, rustic garage. On warm days, like this one, Joey opened up the trio of doors that made up most of the front wall. From here, Harrison could see the busy interior. Most of the long picnic tables inside were taken, and half of the outside ones as well. Joey’s meat man, Duncan, was standing in front of a massive grill, checking the temperature on a rack of ribs. Duncan waved a pair of tongs when he saw Harrison.

“Hey,” he greeted him, forcing a smile. He was still pissed at Clinton, but Audrey wasn’t just some human with dull senses. She would know immediately if he was angry, and he needed to get his growly bear under control.

He smelled her before he saw her. Mango shampoo, cherry lip gloss, and deliciously sexy fur. His crew was filing in through the open garage door to the left, but Harrison froze just on the edge of the parking lot. Audrey wore a tight black T-shirt with the bright pink Moosey’s logo and short cut-offs that showed off her summer-tanned legs. She had her straight, dark hair pulled up high in the back of her head with a hairband, and she wore a smile on her lips as she wiped down an empty picnic table. Selfishly, he hoped she was thinking about him and that he was the cause of her happy expression.

Her nostrils flared slightly, and she turned to the crew who were making their way down the row toward her. All but Clinton who was now standing in line for food. Ass.

She hugged the boys one by one, and then looked around until her eyes locked on Harrison. The smile that had been so damned pretty a second ago turned boner-inducing. Fuck, his mate was gorgeous. His mate. He sighed as relief slid over his shoulders. Screw the bad day. She made everything better. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he gave her a smile and mouthed
hey
.

With an adorable self-conscious giggle, she smoothed her hand over her jean shorts and made her way around the table. “Hey,” she said as soon as she was a few feet away. With a quick look at Duncan, who had his back turned, she lifted up on her tiptoes and gave Harrison a peck on the lips.

It wasn’t enough though, so when she eased back, he chased her, angling his head and deepening the kiss. Every strand of tension that held his body so taut relaxed as hugged his neck and nibbled his bottom lip.

He let off a sigh of relief as she rubbed her cheek in cat-like affection against his. “How is your first day going?” he asked low.

She practically hummed with excitement. “Good. Everyone is so nice, the menu was super easy to learn, and this place stays busy so the day went by in a flash.” She bumped his shoulder as he made his way inside where the crew was waiting in line. “I like this place a lot more than the diner I worked at. It’s more laid back, and Joey introduced me to a lot of regulars today. How was your day?” she asked, fidgeting with the damp rag in her hands.

“Uh,” Harrison murmured, glaring at Clinton. “It was a day. It’s better now, though.”

A frown marred her delicate, dark eyebrows, and his fingers itched to smooth it out. He didn’t like her worrying when she’d looked so happy a second ago.

“We’re going to talk about your rough day later, but right now, I’m going to take your order. I learned how to do that already. Meat and beer will make everything better.” Audrey sauntered off toward the opening in the counter, hips swaying. “Hey,” she said, turning with a happy grin. “I’m really glad you came to see me.”

She didn’t know it, but Audrey was the one who’d done him the favor. He’d been on the verge of an uncontrolled Change all day, but one look at his mate, and that pretty smile on her lips had turned his entire day around. God, he loved her, and soon, he was going to find the right time to tell her just how much. She deserved to hear how he really felt about her. She deserved to hear it every day because she was open with her feelings. She’d given him so much, and he’d been holding back, but as he watched her chatter happily with his crew as she took their orders, something struck him.

His life had lacked depth without her in it.

She was growing and gaining confidence, but he was changing, too.

He felt hope for his crew’s future for the first time in a long time, and that was because of her. Because she looked at him like he was invincible and made him feel stronger than he had in years. She made him want to be a better alpha.

Clinton might not realize it yet, but Harrison did.

The Boarlanders needed her.

Today had been awesome! Audrey had a great first day working at Moosey’s, had made thirty-two bucks from the tip jar on top of her hourly wage, and the Boarlanders had showed up at the end of the night like her very own personal, muscle-bound herd of cheerleaders.

They’d been hilarious and loud and had teased her mercilessly any time she worked close enough to their table, but she hadn’t minded. If all the crew ignored her, like Clinton did, it would mean they didn’t like her. But since they ribbed her like she was one of the guys, she took that as a sign of acceptance. And Harrison’s eyes and easy smile had stayed pointed in her direction any time she’d glanced at him.

She’d never felt like this before—so happy and carefree. She’d never looked at her future and thought she could have it all—a man she loved more than anything, friends who understood her, and a chance at controlling the animal inside of her. Everything was falling into place for her in a way she’d never dreamt of.

Humming happily under her breath, Audrey peeled out of her Moosey’s T-shirt and threw it in the washing machine. She had ordered enough differently colored work shirts to last a week, but until they came in, this one was all she had. In a rush, she pulled a red tank top on and made her way into the living room. She startled to a stop when a little, brown field mouse crossed the kitchen floor in front of her. He was dragging half a chocolate chip cookie, as well as a humongous set of testicles.

“You must be Nards,” she murmured as she waited patiently for him to amble out of her way.

With a shake of her head at the strange turn her life had taken, she made her way across the squishy flooring. The second she hit the night air, she inhaled deeply. The air was so clean and crisp here, and the moon above was full and a gorgeous orange color. Feeling like a million bucks, she jogged down the stairs and headed for Harrison’s trailer at the opposite end of the park.

Mason was replacing the decking of his stairs with the leftover lumber from 1010’s newly built porch, and he waved to her as she strode by. “If you’re looking for your man, he left a few minutes ago.”

Audrey frowned at Harrison’s parked truck in front of his trailer. “Where did he go?”

“Checking the border probably. He headed off through there.” Mason pointed across the road to a trail that led between Kirk and Bash’s trailers and off into the woods.

“Thanks, Mason.”

Audrey altered her route and grinned as an idea struck her. Harrison had said she should let her tiger out more often, and in her downtime between the lunch and dinner rush today, she’d thought about her Change last night. What if he was right? What if someday, with enough practice, she could have instant, painless Changes like Harrison and the others? She knew one thing. She sure as hell didn’t want a repeat of last night when her mate watched her suffer through a Change.

She could surprise him with her tiger and let him see how hard she was trying. He would be proud of her, just like he had been last night. Plus, she would be able to find him easier out in the woods as a big cat. She had whiskers to feel vibration, better eyesight, ears made for hearing everything, and big, flat paws to stalk quietly. She could sneak up on him if she was brave enough to Change again.

She could find her courage for Harrison.

The strange, orange moon cast an ethereal glow over the Boarlander woods, dappling the forest floor in soft shadow and light. At the edge of a small meadow, a speckle illuminated the dark in the distance, and then another shone closer. When she walked to the center of the meadow, brushing her hands over the hip-high wild grass, hundreds of fireflies lifted up from their shelter.

Her breath caught in her throat at how beautiful this place was with the lightning bugs blinking constantly like holiday lights. Surrounded by such beauty, this was the perfect spot for her to ask her tiger to come out. She was nervous, sure, and her hands shook badly, but if Audrey needed to endure such pain, maybe it would be easier if she was staring at something so breathtaking. Winking bugs, winking stars, and the orange man on the moon. She wouldn’t be alone.

Her breath trembled now as she shucked her shorts and peeled her shirt over her head. Audrey folded them neatly into a pile and set her sneakers on top.

With a long, steadying breath, she lay down and stared at the night sky one last time. Closing her eyes, she imagined her body as a tiger’s and asked her animal for the honor of her form. A soft satisfied purr sounded from her throat, and then pain blasted up her nerve endings. Audrey seized and grunted at the agony, but focused on counting.

One, two…

Her bones broke through.

Three, four…

No purring anymore.

Five, six…

Too much pain to fix.

Seven, eight…

Too late.

Nine, ten…

She didn’t want to go back again.

With a proud feline smile, Audrey pushed up onto all fours as the last of her fur prickled her skin, covering her body and shielding her from the cool breeze.

She looked over her shoulder at her long, lithe body. White fur with thin black stripes, she was bigger than any tiger she’d seen in a zoo. Her tail twitched, and she panted slightly from the effort of the Change, but now she could smell him—her mate.

And she could hear him, too.

This was the upside to the monster…no, not the monster. This was the upside to her animal. She wasn’t a monster. She never had been. Just different, and out here, different was good. It was coveted and important.

Harrison, Harrison, Harrison. Strong, handsome, caring mate, always putting his crew in front of himself. He could’ve grown up a brute, just like his dad, but he had been stronger than that. Someday, he would make a good father to their cubs. Tigers or bears, it didn’t matter what animals her children would harbor. She would raise them to be proud of their feral sides, like she was now proud of hers. The purr was back in her throat.
Happy kitty.

She wove through the blinking meadow, and Harrison’s voice got louder. Excited by the thought of seeing him, she loped faster, head up, ears erect. Hunting for her mate, hunting for cuddles.

“That was your idea,” another voice said. Clinton.

Confused, Audrey slowed, hesitated, then stalked silently forward. She could see them now in the distance.

Cicadas sang in waves, frogs croaked, and above, a family of birds chattered quietly. Little rustlings sounded from burrows and hidey holes in the forest floor. So many little heartbeats, but the biggest, most important one belonged to Harrison.

Facing the river, he stood with his back to her. A waterfall splashed down into the pool in front of him and Clinton. Her mate had showed her this place last night. Bear Trap Falls. Harrison’s jeans clung to his powerful, splayed legs. His shoulders were wide and flexed against his cotton shirt as he shoved his hands into his pockets and shook his head. A soft growl sounded from him. He wasn’t happy. Audrey narrowed her eyes at Clinton. He was the source of most unhappiness around here. She should bite him.

She hunched down, bunching her muscles for an attack, but he turned to Harrison. His face wasn’t the mask of fury that he usually wore around her. He looked…sad. She froze.

“The day I came to you, begging for you to take me into your crew, you said no ladies allowed at the park. To me, that’s what made it worth leaving the Gray Backs. I loved them. They were home, but my bear couldn’t handle what was happening there. You said all potential claims for any of your crew had to be run by you first, and then you said you would give us the same courtesy. We had a say in any of your potential claims.”

“Clinton—”

“No, let me say my piece. I checked every crew I can think of, and there are no bachelor groups left. And I won’t make it long as a rogue bear. My animal will go mad fast, and no one will be there to put me down.”

“Clinton, you’re going mad now!”

“And I want you to be the one to put me down when the time comes, Harrison.”

“Fuck,” Harrison growled out, linking his hands behind his head.

“But for now, I have nowhere else to go. I’ve looked. This place is it. This is my last stand.”

“That’s a copout. You aren’t even trying.”

“You’re wrong.”

“So, what do you want me to do? I’m trying to move us forward, but you’re trying to keep us in the hole, man.”

“I don’t want you to claim Audrey.”

Harrison jerked his gaze to Clinton, and the smell of fury wafted to her on the breeze.

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

Clinton shook his head for a long time, gaze on the babbling river under the falls. “Don’t bring her in any closer.”

“For how long?”

“For always. I don’t want her to be a Boarlander. I know what I can and can’t handle right now, and that’s it. The second you give her a claiming mark, this place is wide open to females, and my bear can’t be around couples, Harrison.” Clinton arched his eyebrows, and his voice broke on the quiet “I’m sorry” he murmured before he turned and walked through the trees toward the trailer park.

Shocked, Audrey watched him disappear into the trees. It was impossible to breathe under the weight of the pain that filled her chest. She would never be a Boarlander, would never be Harrison’s claim. She would be destined to stay on the outside here, never really a part of this place, just like the rest of her life had been.

She dragged her horrified gaze to Harrison, but he didn’t smell like fury anymore. The air was heavy with his sadness.

The word “Fuck!” echoed across Bear Trap Falls as he squatted down, hands gripping the back of his neck. He looked as hurt in his middle as she was. Gut punched. She wanted to retch.

She wished she could be angry with Clinton, but now she understood him. He wasn’t being mean because he hated her like she’d thought. There was something wrong with his bear. Something broken, and someday, Harrison would have to put him down.

Clinton wasn’t asking for her to be cast aside to hurt her.

He was pushing her out so he could live longer.

Why did she feel like the earth had just opened up and swallowed her whole? Why did she feel like she’d just been trapped in a dark cave alone? Harrison, her mate, was out of reach. If she begged him to claim her and bring her into the Boarlanders, he would hurt. If she didn’t, he would hurt. His crew was everything to him, and she was causing a huge rift in the make-up.

She’d been selfish in moving into 1010, knowing that not all of Harrison’s crew was okay with her living here. It had been easy to ignore the sadness and anger that Clinton let off because she’d had Harrison. He was the sun blocking out the dark, but with Clinton’s admission here in these woods, she couldn’t ignore the grit she’d caused anymore.

She loved Harrison.

Loved
him.

And now she would have to let him go.