Blurring the Line (16 page)

Beth’s back stiffened. He was angry that she had lied. “Yes I speak Spanish. Of course I do. I told you I was recruited by the DEA. They wanted me because I speak fluent Spanish and Arabic. Why do you think I was put in charge of the Treinta task force? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I needed for you to speak freely in front of me.”

Torres shook his head. “Because you don’t trust me.”

“Yes. No. Look, I don’t know you well enough to trust you. Don’t take it personally.”

“Really? Don’t take it personally. You expect me to trust you with my life and you don’t even trust me enough to tell me you speak Spanish.” Torres shook his head again.

“Look, it’s not personal. I wouldn’t have told anyone. It’s not you. I don’t trust anyone.” Beth’s eyes narrowed as realiation washed over her. She really didn’t trust anyone.

“Fine.”

“Torres, don’t be like that.”

He didn’t say anything.

Beth sat back and laid her head against the velour headrest. Of course he was pissed at her. She would be too. She turned and looked out on the arid land, across the wide expanse of the horizon. “I’m sorry, Torres. I know you don’t know this, because I hide it so well, but I have a hard time trusting people. All people, not just you.” She tried to lighten the mood by joking but it fell on deaf ears.

Torres still did not respond. He continued to look straight ahead, both hands wrapped around the steering wheel in a death grip. She could see his eyes in the rear-view mirror. She didn’t recognise him. The anger had darkened his face. She wondered if this was what he looked like when he killed. She pushed the thought as far back in her mind as she could.

“Look, it has always just been my mom, my sister and I, that’s it. They’re my world. They’re the only people I trust. I don’t let anyone know anything about me.” Beth turned her head and looked out the window again. “I just don’t trust people, OK?. Nothing to do with you.”

Silence reigned for a long time. Several minutes passed, the only sound was Alejandra babbling a string of consonants over and over. Beth absently stroked her small head. The movement calmed her down as much as the baby. Torres was angry but he wouldn’t hurt her. Would he? Her mouth was suddenly dry.

“What about your father?” Torres asked.

Beth went rigid. She didn’t talk about her dad to anyone, not even Paige or her mom. As far as she was concerned he was dead. “No I don’t trust him either.”

“Why not?”

Beth shook her head. “Because he’s a liar.”

Torres didn’t say anything, apparently happy to let it go.

But she wasn’t. She never spoke about her dad; she even went as far as taking her mom’s maiden name so she could completely distance herself from him. If anyone asked her about him outright, she said he was dead. “Remember when I told you I needed to go home to Sacramento to take care of my mom?”

Torres nodded.

“It’s because my mom refuses to leave Sacramento because she still visits him once a week in Folsom prison.” Beth realised for the first time the bitterness she carried towards her mom because of that. They could have moved far away when she was a kid, gone someplace where nobody knew them. But they didn’t because Ruth Thomson didn’t give up on love even when it had clearly given up on her.

Torres didn’t say anything.

Clearly he was doing the silent thing to keep her talking. “Aren’t you going to ask me what he did?”

“Nope. If you wanted to tell me, you would.”

A faint smile tugged at her lips. That is why she liked Torres, for all his faults, he didn’t push. She may as well admit it; she did like Torres, when she didn’t fear for her safety. Suddenly she realised she wanted to tell Torres. Hiding things and omitting the unflattering details of her life were second nature to her. She didn’t even have to think about it, she just did it on reflex. But she wanted Torres to know. She wanted one person she didn’t have to pretend with. “When I was a baby he was arrested for credit card fraud, he got out when I was five. My mom and I were thrilled. Dad was home. He had turned his life around. Everything was going to be great. Ten months after he got home Paige was born. Life was good. Happy family…all that crap.”

Torres didn’t say anything. If she wanted she could stop there. Torres wouldn’t push. And that is why she continued. “Things were going great. I had my dad back and my new baby sister. He and my mom made all sorts of plans. It was promise after promise. We were going to move to the country. Mom was going to grow her own vegetables and raise chickens. That was her dream. Can you believe it? That is all she wanted and he couldn’t even manage to give her that.” Beth had to stop for a moment. Resentment that she had buried years ago was threatening to resurface and she didn’t know if she had the strength to push it back down again. “Anyway. He could have gotten a proper job but everything was beneath him. Long story short, he decided robbing a bank was a better option than an honest day’s work. He was no master criminal; he couldn’t even rob a bank right.” Beth rolled her eyes. There was no right way to rob a bank. It wasn’t like the story would have turned out better if he had been successful. “There was an off-duty police officer at the bank. My dad obviously wasn’t great at recon. The guy got shot in the leg and my dad got another felony added to his felony.”

Torres was quiet as he processed the information. “Do you ever see him?”

“The last time saw him I was nine. My mom still goes to see him.” She tried to sound casual about it but she hated that her mom was so weak. She should have cut him out like a cancer but she couldn’t or wouldn’t. Her mom was strong and independent in every other way but Joe Cummings was her kryptonite. Geez, why was she mad at her mom? Her mom hadn’t robbed the bank. Her mom was loving and gentle and kind, and too forgiving for her own good.

“What about your sister?”

Beth shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t care. I mean I hope she doesn’t but it’s her life.” She hoped her sister was smart enough to not be taken in by all his bullshit, but she didn’t want to know if she was wrong.

“You think your mom is stupid for standing my him?”

“Standing by him? You make it sound like there is something noble about being a schmuck. She gave him a chance, and he blew it.”

Torres turned the car down the steep road that led to his beach house. This time Beth wasn’t scared of the drop because her attention was tuned in to Alejandra.

“That’s one more chance than you would have given him.”

Beth looked up catching Torres’ gaze in the rear-view mirror. “Yep, I wouldn’t have given him another chance.” The truth was Beth wouldn’t have trusted him in the first place. That was the one gift her father had given her, she was nobody’s fool.

“But she loves him. Haven’t you ever loved anyone like that?”

Beth shook her head. “Nope. I never would. Would you?”

Torres thought about it for a minute. “I think I would. I can’t really say unless I was in that position but yeah, I think I would. If I ever found someone I loved like that, I don’t think I’d let her go either. I hope I love someone like that one day.”

Torres pulled into the driveway of the beach house. Beth got out of the car before she lifted Alejandra out. “Come on, baby girl.” Alejandra wrapped her small arms around Beth’s neck. Beth closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the weight of the small body perched on her hip. Having someone else to consider and worry about was strangely comforting. “Then all I can say to that is: be careful who you choose to love.”

Torres opened the door and stood to the side as Beth carried Alejandra inside. Beth put the baby on the ground and watched as she pulled herself up on the coffee table and scooted around. “Are you a walker,
mija
? I think you are,” Beth said in a singsong voice. She had no idea where it was coming from but it felt right.

Torres closed the door behind them. “So what’s your plan,
Gatita
?”

Beth looked up. Now that he knew she spoke Spanish she could finally address the stupid cat name. “Please stop calling me that. I’m not a crazy cat lady.”

Half of Torres’ mouth rose. “Is that what you think I mean?”

“Look, I know I am a little high strung but I’m not a pathetic cat lady. Please don’t call me that.”

Torres sat down on the couch beside her. “Your eyes,” he said finally. “They remind me of the cat. And you’re skittish. You hold back and observe people. You’re independent and don’t look for approval from anybody. And I’m fairly certain you’d scratch someone’s eyes out if provoked enough. You’re all cat, Beth.”

“Really?” she said dubiously. “It’s not because you think I am going to die alone, surrounded by cats?”

Torres smirked. “Not unless that is what you want.”

Beth shook her head. “No I don’t want to die alone.”

“Maybe you should start with not living alone.”

Beth slapped his chest softly with the back of her hand. “I’ll work on that.”

“Add it to your list. It will get done that way.”

“I will actually.” Beth took the glass out of Alejandra’s hand and replaced it with a cork coaster, which the baby promptly put in her mouth. Torres’ house was far from baby proof. At least his guns were locked away.

“You probably should add trusting people to the list too.”

Beth made a
pfft
sound, “Settle down. I said I didn’t want to die alone, I didn’t say I wanted to be a schmuck.”

Alejandra let go of the coffee table and took off towards the kitchen. Torres stood up and followed her. “
A donde vas, niña?
”
Where are you going little girl
. Alejandra turned and smiled when he spoke to her. She wasn’t scared of him, sixteen months old and she was braver than Beth. When she fell he scooped her up and turned around and brought her back to the living room. Alejandra patted Torres’ bald head and squealed with glee. Torres put her down and she immediately made a beeline for the kitchen.

Torres followed her and again scooped her up and again Alejandra laughed: a game had been established with Torres picking her up and bringing her through, only for Alejandra to smile and run back to the kitchen as soon as he lay her down.

On the fourth time, Torres didn’t follow her. Alejandra turned and motioned for him to catch her. Torres shook his head so Alejandra took a few teetering steps back towards him, hoping to entice him to follow her, but Torres shook his head. Alejandra took another step towards him but still Torres didn’t budge. Alejandra took another step forward and in an instant Torres lifted her up “
Te tengo, mija!
”
I got you!
The baby let out a howl and started giggling uncontrollably. She patted his head with both hands.

“She likes you.”

“Of course she does, what’s not to like?” Torres sat her down again.

Beth laughed. “I can think of a few things.”

“Yeah but we’ve established you don’t like most people.”

Beth shook her head. “That’s not true. I like people, I just don’t trust them not to screw me over.” Beth stood up from the couch. She scooped Alejandra up in her arms and carried her through to the kitchen to look for something to feed her. “Coffee or peanut butter, baby girl. That is what we have on offer at the minute.”

Torres followed behind them. “I’ll make her some scrambled eggs.”

Beth smiled down at the baby. “That sounds better doesn’t it? Torres would make a much better mommy than me, wouldn’t he? Yes I think he would.” Beth answered her own question.

Torres cracked an egg into a glass bowl. “So what’s your plan,
Gatita
?

Beth let out a stream of air. “I don’t have a plan. I don’t even know where to start with a plan on this one.”

“You can’t keep her,” Torres said, only half joking. At least he had calmed down. He no longer looked like he was going to murder her and bury her in the desert. He just looked like he would gladly wrap his hands around her neck and squeeze, but that was his normal look, so she should be OK.

“I know I can’t keep her. She is not a stray kitten I found on the side of the road.”

“Is that how you got your cat?” Torres cracked another egg and whisked them together with a fork.

“It is actually.” Apparently she had a pathological need to rescue things. Maybe she got that from her mom.

“So what are you going to do? She isn’t a detail you can ignore.”

Beth nodded. He knew her too well. She needed time to think. A cold settled over her. “I don’t know what went wrong this morning. Everything was planned.”

“You can’t plan for a mole. Someone inside tipped Martinez off.”

“We don’t know that yet. We don’t even know if Martinez is still alive.”

“He’s alive,” Torres said adamantly. “Someone tipped him off and he killed Sanchez. This was straight up retribution.”

Beth nodded. “Probably. But his family…”

“It sends a loud powerful message to anyone you thinks about crossing him again. Smart move.”

The apathy in Torres sent ice through her. He was discussing it as casually as he would chess strategy. In his mind, annihilating a family was a smart move.

It scared her that she agreed.

“I need to call Patterson and figure out went wrong.”

Torres pulled a plate from the cupboard and placed a helping of fluffy scrambled eggs in the centre. He put the plate on the table before he reached for Alejandra and sat down at the table with her perched on his knee. The scene was completely incongruous, a massive tattooed man, who looked like he had just come from the prison yard, and the small angelic little girl sitting happily on his lap.

Immediately the baby made a swipe at the eggs. Torres pushed the plate back out of her reach. “Can you hand me two spoons please? Small ones.”

“Sure.” Beth opened the drawer and found two teaspoons. She handed them to Torres who gave them to Alejandra. The baby fisted the tiny cutlery, swinging her hands back and forth like a conductor leading a vigorous rendition of the Aaron Copland’s ‘Hoe-Down’, but the distraction worked and Torres was able to feed her without her making any more grabs for the food.

“You know what went wrong. You just don’t know who,” Torres said as he continued to feed Alejandra.