Blue Sacrifice (Blue Davison) (24 page)

“Good dreams, I hope,” he said.

“No dreams. Thanks to you.”

Smiling, he studied my face then ran his fingers
over the bruising. “Your swelling went down a little. Does it hurt?”

“Not as much.”

“Are you ready to get up or do you need to sleep
longer?”

My stomach growled and we both smiled. “I’m ready
to get up.”

Sliding on my jeans, I followed him out of the icy
room and down to the kitchen. Soon Flynn had set a fire and we ate sandwiches in
the family room.

“This house really is drafty,” I said, cuddled
under a blanket with him.

“Even with the heater running, the house gets cold
without a fire. I think the house was built to impress, rather than for people
to live in.”

Smiling, I ate more of my sandwich. Even wondering
what he had decided regarding my sanity, I was afraid to ask. Flynn must have
read my mind because he set aside his sandwich and wrapped an arm around me.

“While you slept, I figured it made much more
sense for you to be crazy. Yet mental illnesses usually don’t affect every
member of a family. Subtracting the aunt who left town, I realized every member
of your family has killed themselves, tried to kill themselves, or died in a
way which hinted at suicide. How is that possible?”

My heart swelled at the possibility of him believing
me.

“Let’s say you’re nuts,” he continued. “I could
get you help and you would stop trying to kill yourself. That only makes sense as
long as I don’t think about your family. Then there’s the town’s recent
behavior. Even if you’re crazy, how does that explain why a place known for having
residents who don’t care enough to remember anyone’s name is suddenly full of
grudges? Also a small town during a cold snap shouldn’t be so violent. When I
was out with Dad the other night, our waitress told us she hadn’t seen such
craziness since the summer of 2004,” he said then kissed my forehead.

“The summer your mother killed herself. Now I’d
love for it all to be a coincidence because I want your problem to be treatable
with medication and therapy. However you don’t seem unstable except for the suicide
thing. You go to school. You get good grades. You’re not withdrawn. You haven’t
severed ties with people. More than anything when you said you didn’t want to
die, I believed you. Even on the first day, when I didn’t know you, but I sure
as hell knew you planned to jump, I didn’t sense you were depressed. You seemed
calm, indifferent really. I do know you now and I believe you, Blue.”

Embracing Flynn, I nuzzled his neck with my lips. “You
can’t know how much this means to me. I wanted you to understand that, despite
cutting myself and going to the bridge, I didn’t want to die or leave you. I
didn’t think you’d believe me, but you do.”

Caressing my swollen eyes again, Flynn sighed. “Maybe
I should have believed you the very second you told me on the bridge, but I was
so angry to see you there. Then I saw your face and knew someone had hurt you.
I just thought you were making up the sacrifice story because you were
protecting someone like Lacey’s brother or Gretchen or that guy who is always
hanging around your house. I thought you were lying for them and I couldn’t
see. Even though I see now, I don’t know what to do to help you.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything anyone can do,” I
said, focusing on him instead of the horrors at the corners of my vision. “I
thought I got to choose, but I don’t. If I don’t do it, my mother will kill me.”

“But she can’t hurt you if I’m around and all you
have to do is stay with someone all of the time.”

“Forever?”

Flynn shrugged. “Or until something else happens.
If the town really expects a sacrifice and you’re not available and your aunts
won’t do it then there must be contingency plans.”

“The contingency plan is for the town to eat
itself. Like the summer Penny failed and Assad Zandi massacred everyone on his
block. Something big and bloody happens and I’m not sure that will even be the
end of it.”

“Yes,” he whispered, wrapping me tighter in his
arms as if the talk of death forced Flynn to imagine me leaving him, “you don’t
know. We shouldn’t assume anything. All you know is what your mother and those
demon things tell you. They have a vested interest in lying.”

“My mother told me the same thing when she was
alive and she wasn’t evil then.”

“Yes, but your mother believed lies because it was
all she knew.”

“But the violence stopped after my mom died.”

“She died right after Assad killed all those
people. The violence might have stopped because he made a sacrifice. Her death was
probably pointless.”

Flynn said the words so flippantly and I instinctively
pulled away just a little. My mom might have spent the last week tormenting me,
but when she was alive, she was everything to me. Mom was why I survived after
she died. She raised me to be strong and to think of today, instead of worrying
about the past or future which I had no power over. She was the most beautiful
thing in the world and I didn’t want to dismiss her sacrifice even if it had
been a mistake.

Flynn didn’t notice right away the slight separation
between us. It took a few minutes before he realized how I wasn’t leaning
against him on the couch and even then he clearly didn’t understand why I moved
away.

“So we wait and see what happens,” I said,
watching the fire instead of his confused expression.

Still watching me with an expression full of uncertainty,
Flynn nodded. “We’ll go to your house and pick up clothes and other stuff you
need. You can move in here until this thing gets worked out.”

“Or I could stay at Lacey’s.” Out of the corner of
my eye, I saw Flynn’s expression shift. “She’s my best friend.”

“Her brother isn’t your friend. He’s basically
stalking you and waiting until he sees his shot.”

“No,” I said, turning to Flynn, “he had his shot.
Plenty of them. I always thought he was hot and I liked him a lot especially
after my birthday. He could have made a move, but he didn’t. If he wanted to
steal me away from you, why would he say you were a sign? You distrust him in a
way that makes no sense. He’s why I even considered loving you.”

“He’s the reason,” Flynn said with a quiet grunt.
“Nothing I did or said might have persuaded you.”

Sighing, I rolled my eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“Really?” he muttered, wearing a pouty frown.

“You know what you do to a girl and how you match
up against other guys. It made no sense for you to love me. You could have
anyone, but I’m supposed to believe you wanted me because I’m just so awesome?”

“You can’t see yourself clearly.”

“No, I can. I know I’m attractive, but I’m not
gorgeous. I’m smart, but no brainiac. I’m a good person, but no saint.”

Still wearing a frown, Flynn grunted. “You want to
die for this stupid town.”

“No, I don’t. I feel like I have to die to save
people, not the town. There are good people here. People I care about like you.
It’s not saintly to die to protect others. Brave maybe, but lots of people are
brave. Soldiers and police risk their lives to save people every day. People
they don’t even know. I look at what I do clearly and I saw you clearly. You
shouldn’t love me.”

“But I do.”

“And Tyson is the reason I really let myself
consider you loving me. If he could want me, yet think you’re a sign, how could
I deny the possibility?”

“So you love me because your boyfriend said you
should,” Flynn muttered, full on grumpy now.

“I want you because you’re you. Like how you
looked at the suicides in my family and the violence in town and viewed it
rationally. Well I looked at your feelings for me and saw no reason for you to
lie. I kept coming up with excuses until Tyson talked with me that night. He
helped me see the truth.”

Flynn frowned darkly every time I said Tyson’s
name. Moving closer under the blanket, I kissed his neck, sucking softly at the
flesh and making him moan.

“You have no reason to be jealous.”

“Because you love me?”

Swallowing hard, I still wasn’t sure if I could surrender
to my feelings. If Flynn lost interest, how would I walk away from the pain? It
hurt so much when Tyson kissed me on my birthday then acted like we were
buddies. I couldn’t imagine the pain I would feel if I embraced Flynn
completely then had him discard me.

“Yes,” I whispered, staring at the fire.

“Why do you look miserable?”

“I’m afraid of giving someone power over me. I
love my mom so much and now she torments me. She says she never loved or wanted
me. If I didn’t love her so much, those things wouldn’t hurt so badly. Now I’m
giving you that kind of power.”

Taking my hand, Flynn brushed my fingers along his
lips. “That thing you think is your mom is evil and your real mom wasn’t evil,
right?”

“She was perfect.”

“And so am I,” Flynn said full of sincerity,
making me laugh. “Just like how your real mom wouldn’t hurt you, neither will
I. As I see it, those demons are liars and no matter what face they show you,
it doesn’t change what’s underneath.”

“Okay, so you love me?”

Running his fingers along my jaw, Flynn gazed at
me tenderly. “Yes and I have no reason to lie. I’ve lived a pampered life, so why
would I sign onto this stress unless I felt I couldn’t live without you?”

Considering his words, I tried to be rational. Yet
my heart just wanted to be stupid and dive into madness with this beautiful man
I’d known for a week.

“Say it, Blue,” he whispered, his gaze demanding.
“If we want to fight this town, you can’t have one foot out of the door. Stop
hedging your bets and just choose what you want then stick with it.”

“I have feelings for Tyson. Does it make sense for
me to have feelings for him and still love you?”

Flynn twisted his lips into a grumpy frown. “Stop
thinking. It’s just a trick you use to keep everyone away. Like when you told me
the first night we met how Lacey was merely a friend out of convenience. Yet she
clearly cares for you and I see how you look at her. Why do you talk yourself
out of reaching for what you crave?”

“I told you.”

“Why did you ask to go with me behind the dumpster?”

Gazing faltering, I shrugged. “To get you to back
off.”

“But you wanted to be close too.”

“Yes, you’re beautiful and I wanted to be close to
you.”

“And you thought by having it happen in a skeevy
way you could avoid enjoying it too much or expecting me to care about you,”
Flynn said, taking my hand and kissing it. “You keep putting up all of these
walls, but no more hiding. Just tell me what you feel when you look at me. If
it’s not love, it won’t change my feelings for you.”

“I’m afraid.”

Flynn pressed my chin upward to force me to look
at him. “Of what? Disappointing me?”

“That you’ll hurt me.”

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know.”

Flynn took my face in his warm hands and stared
into my eyes. His expression was soft, no longer demanding.

“Whatever you say,” he whispered. “The right
answer is whatever you feel. Even if it isn’t what I want to hear, you aren’t
wrong and I won’t be angry.”

Staring into those forest green eyes, I remembered
the guy I met on the bridge a week earlier. Flynn changed everything including
me. Yet I still hoped by not saying the words, I could protect my heart.

“I love you,” I said, instantly wanting the words
back.

“See?” he said with a divine smile. “World didn’t
end. I didn’t run out of the room, never to be seen again. Nothing bad
happened. Embracing how there’s something magical between us doesn’t make you a
fool. Hell, it’s why I knew what you said about the town and sacrifices could
be true. I found magic here with you and logically not all magic is good.”

“This town is full of darkness and I don’t know if
I can survive the evil without sacrificing everyone else. How can I put you in
danger?”

“If it was me who could save you, I’d say the same
thing. But while you’re so ready to die to save me, you forget about how much
pain I’d feel if I lost you? You have all those walls up, but people still love
and need you. I love and need you, Blue, so we’re going to figure out how to handle
this thing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he said, kissing me.

The tenderness felt good, even though I was nervous
now. My whole body tight with fear, I knew embracing my love for Flynn had given
the darkness a new target. For despite our loving words and big plans, I had
thumbed my nose at the evil in Lily Falls and it was a vengeful bitch.

Opening the front door of the bungalow, I found Gretchen
on the couch surrounded by disinterested cats. The television played
No
Reservations
and Hans stood in the kitchen cooking something. When Flynn
and I entered, Hans turned to look at me, but Gretchen never stopped staring at
the TV.