Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (36 page)

“There’s only one way to find out.” The smirk on his face begged me to knock him down a few pegs, but joking around wouldn’t discourage him in the least. In fact, it would most likely have the exact opposite effect.

“Please, let this go. If you keep it up, we won’t be able to be friends. I like you, I really do, and I wish things could be different, but they can’t. Not now, anyway.”
Not ever.

“I’m a patient guy,” he replied.

‡

“H
ello?” I grumbled
when I answered the phone after the second ring. It seemed so much louder, and was way more irritating, when it pulled me out of a dead sleep. If I could, I would turn it off before I went to bed; however, the only people who called me on a regular basis were my parents when they wanted something and work when they needed me to come in early or cover a shift on my day off. I didn’t care if my parents went to voicemail; I preferred it that way. I did, however, want to answer the phone when work called so they wouldn’t offer the extra hours to another girl.

As an afterthought, I quickly pulled the phone away from my ear to check the caller ID. If it was one of my parents, I’d still have time to hang up. Surprisingly, the display read Madison Miller. The number of friends I’d made in the past decade could be counted on one hand, but none of them were friends in the traditional sense of the word; more like friendly acquaintances.

I’d lost contact with my mentor, Veronica, a few years back, but I tried to pay her kindness forward by taking Madison under my wing. Madison was the closest I’d ever come to having a real friend. She was a good person and had no business being in my line of work; she’d just done what she had to in order to get through a rough spot in her life. Even though I still hadn’t told her my real name, or anything even remotely relevant about my life for that matter, I’d always felt protective of her. We’d kept in touch after she left but hadn’t spoken in a month or so.

“Hey, how are you?” Madison asked. I shook off my morning grumpies when I heard her voice.

“Good, good. Everything’s…” I debated telling her about Carter but decided against it. There wasn’t much to tell, other than the fact I had a new friend who seemed to
like me
-like me. She would probably give me some spiel about why I should give it a go with him, and I didn’t want to listen to it from her. It was better to just avoid the topic altogether.

“Good?”

“Yes, smartass. Now are you going to tell me why you decided to wake my tired ass up on a Wednesday morning?”

“Haven’t talked to you in a while. Wanted to check in to make sure everything’s okay.”

“Yes, Mom, I’m fine.” Madison was less than a year older than me, but she was a natural born mother. She apparently had no problem using that skill-set on me. “How’s everything with you?”

“Everything is wonderful. Well, for the most part anyway. Kristy is still making life hell, but that’s to be expected.” Kristy, Madison’s life-long nemesis, was a complete psycho. “Peyton is getting so tall and is doing really well in her new school,” she continued. Her niece, Peyton, was now in the third or fourth grade. I’d only met her once when they came for a visit, and she was the cutest kid I’d ever seen. If I ever had a daughter, which I most likely wouldn’t, I’d want her to be like Peyton.

“That’s the school that specializes in helping kids with dyslexia, right?”

“Yep. The teachers are great. Her reading score went up three grade levels during the first semester.”

“That’s awesome!” I enjoyed hearing about her family. Living vicariously through her was one of the things I liked most about our chats. “How’s the little guy?”

“He’s great; getting huge. I’ll email you some pic—. Hold on a sec.” She covered the receiver and spoke to someone in the same room for a few seconds. “Hey, sorry about that. I have to go. Talk to you later?”

“Sure. Thanks for calling.”

“Of course. Take care of yourself.” There she went with the mothering again.

“You too. Bye.”

As soon as the call was disconnected, I sat up in my bed. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep now; I was already too awake. My phone said it was close to eleven, which was what time I normally woke up, but I hadn’t fallen asleep until almost six this morning. My brain just wouldn’t turn off when I got home from work.

After taking a shower and getting dressed, a leftover bagel began calling my name from the kitchen. Sitting on the counter next to the bakery bag was the unopened letter from the university. My fears about the decision it contained came back in full force, so I did the cowardly thing and turned my back to it.

A knock sounded on my door just as I was about to start the coffeemaker. Carter was looking back at me when I squinted through the peephole.

“Hey,” I said when I opened the door.

Still standing in the hallway, he smiled and held up a backpack. “Are you hungry? I thought we could have a picnic in the park today.”

“Have you slept at all?” Even though he said he didn’t sleep much, it would have taken some time to prepare a picnic lunch.

“I got home early last night. The thing I was working on wrapped up at four, so I just took a couple of vacation hours instead of finding something else to do.”

“Didn’t you just start there recently? How do you have vacation time already?”

“Our union contract gives us a pool of time up front.” He hoisted up the backpack again. “So, what do you say?”

“That sounds an awful lot like a date,” I replied, stepping back to let him into the apartment.

“Don’t worry; I know the score. I just thought it would be nice to enjoy the weather before Mother Nature realizes it’s April.”

“As long as you understand that this is in no way a date, I would love to go. Thank you.” I waited for his nod before I continued. “I was kind of hoping I’d see you again today, anyway.”

“Couldn’t stand the thought of being away from me for more than twenty-four hours?” I was growing quite fond of the devilish grin he wore when teasing me.

“No.” I smacked his arm. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything,” he replied. The look in his eyes told me he meant it.

“I still haven’t opened the letter from the university; I’m too nervous.” I picked up the envelope from the counter and fiddled with one of its corners. “Would you open it for me and tell me what it says? Maybe you can soften the blow if it’s bad news.”

“What makes you think it will be bad news?”

“When I was accepted into the undergraduate program, the letter came in a large envelope full of pamphlets and forms. This one is small and thin, which worries me.” I chewed on my lip and held the envelope out to him.

He took the letter and slid it into the back pocket of his jeans. “I’ll open it over lunch.”

“Thank you. Give me a minute put on my shoes and grab some stuff, and then we can head out.”

*

We walked to
the park with no real destination in mind. Although I’d lived a block away from it for nearly a year, I’d never taken the time to explore. About half way between the park entrance near our building and the exit leading to Main Street, we found a small clearing a few yards from the path. The grassy area was spacious but still felt private. The trees encircling the meadow provided shade, and along with the other trees we’d passed along the way, completely blocked our view of the dirt path.

“This is beautiful,” I said as I walked around to take in everything. Not normally one for nature, I was surprised by how quickly I was falling in love with this little piece of tranquility. When I came upon one of the smaller trees, I stopped and looked up. Unlike its mighty neighbors, this tree only had a small smattering of foliage, which left most of the branches bare. As silly as it may have sounded, I felt a connection to it. We both wanted to be part of something bigger but didn’t quite fit in. We were both surrounded by normalcy—beauty, even—but would never have it for ourselves. For a moment, I wondered if there was any hope for either of us.

Having realized I’d settled on a spot, Carter handed me the blanket I’d grabbed from the back of my couch. Grabbing two of the corners, I shook it open and spread it out so one edge was up against the lonely tree—my tree. Once I was settled on the ground, leaning against its trunk, Carter handed the backpack to me. Making a huge production out of it, he pulled the letter from his back pocket and then sat to my left.

Hesitant to acknowledge what was happening, I unzipped the backpack and pulled out sandwiches, chips, apples, and water bottles. “Sorry it isn’t much,” he said when I handed him his lunch.

“It’s perfect,” I said as I removed the cellophane from my ham and turkey on wheat. Anything beyond the simple meal would have spoiled the atmosphere we’d created.

“Are you ready?” he asked, waving the letter in front of him.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

He carefully slid his finger under the flap and then pulled out a single sheet of folded paper. His expression remained neutral as his eyes darted over it.

“You applied to law school?” he asked without an ounce of inflection in his tone.

“Yes. Why are you so surprised?” Did he think I wasn’t smart enough to be a lawyer? Maybe the letter was a rejection, which would prove I wasn’t.

“I thought you wanted to be a social worker.”

“I majored in social work because I want to practice family law. The degree in social work gave me some of the tools I’ll need to do my job well.”

“Makes sense. Why that area of law?”

“I want to help children in bad situations; be an advocate for them.” I took a bite of my sandwich, only to realize I wasn’t patient enough to swallow before asking my next question. “Well, what does it say?” I asked around a mouthful of partially chewed food.

He must have kicked ass at poker because with an expressionless face and a monotone voice, he said, “You’re—in.”

When I leapt the short distance into his lap, he had to extend one arm behind him to keep from falling over. Forgetting all of the reasons I needed to keep my distance from him, I held on tightly. Excitement filled me to the brim, and this was the first time I’d had someone to share a major accomplishment with in years. After regaining his balance, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

“When’s your next day off?” he asked. “We should celebrate.”

“I’m not a party girl.”

“I can tell. That’s one of the things I like about you. Partying isn’t the only way to celebrate, you know.”

“I was supposed to be off last night and tonight, but I’m covering for a girl who’s sick. I won’t have another day off until a week from tomorrow.” Talking about work made me feel dirty, so I climbed out of his lap and back to the spot against my tree.

“How are you not completely exhausted?”

“Trust me, I am. I just hide it well. I always volunteer for extra shifts, because I need to finish saving for school. I would’ve had enough by now, but the school is raising tuition for Fall semester.”

“Why don’t you just take out a student loan? Everyone qualifies.”

“Because I refuse to go into debt. I will never owe anything, to anyone, for any reason.”

“That seems a little extreme.” The look on his face said he thought I was being ridiculous.

“I have my reasons.” My happiness faded as I thought about why I felt so strongly about having a debt-free existence.

“Didn’t you take out a loan for your car?”

“Nope. I saved until I could afford to buy it outright. That didn’t take very long because it’s a piece of shit, but it gets me to work and back.” Opening my bag of chips gave me something else to focus on for a few seconds, which was enough time to change the subject. “Let’s finish eating and go back to your place. We might be able to finish sorting through your boxes by the end of the week if we keep working at it.”

Nodding, he didn’t say anymore; he must have sensed my discomfort and let the debt conversation go. Knowing when to back off was one of his best qualities. We finished eating in the relative peacefulness of our spot. It wasn’t until I began gathering up the trash that he finally broke the tension between us. “I don’t think I’ll ever be finished unpacking.”