Blood of the Rainbow (65 page)

Tears filled Sara’s eyes, and she nodded. Tom left the room.

------------

Jared was sitting on the step at the edge of the patio, his head in his hands. Tom sat beside him and put his arm around Jared’s shoulder. Jared laid his hand over Tom’s, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. “Dad, she’s seen the morning mountain scene. She dreamed about it last night.”

“The one with you and your daughter?”

“Yes Dad, but something was different.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sara said the white wolf had crimson eyes, but the cub had amber eyes. Dad that’s not possible – is it? Has there ever been any females who have inherited the transformation gene?”

Tom sighed. “Not on our side Jared. Sara’s eyes don’t….”

“No,” Jared said, shaking his head. “And believe me, I would know.”

“So you and she have – right. Yes, after that, you would definitely know. “So when did you come to believe Sara might be a seer?”

“Last night. When she showed me the symbol, and talked about the pale blue glow. The other thing - and I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it until then - both of Sara’s parents have blue eyes. Everyone in Sara’s family has blue eyes.”

Tom furrowed his brow. “But Sara has brown eyes,” he reasoned. “How could she…?”

Jared shook his head. “I don’t know Dad. Unless Sara had a distant ancestor and she inherited a recessive gene. The thing that bothers me is this. Kaye, Sara’s mother, hates Native Americans with a passion.”

“So you’ve met Sara’s parents?”

“Yes, I invited them to the gig at Shreveport. I even offered for them to stay at Wisteria Hall. When I spoke to Kaye on the phone, she seemed as if everything was fine. I honestly thought – at that time – she was a likeable person. I couldn’t understand why Sara said some of the things she did about her mother, and why Sara was so reluctant to talk to Kaye about us. Then, when they came to visit – let’s just say, she was a bitch. She took Sara outside and yelled at her. Then when she came back in the house, she started in on me. She actually tried to brainwash me into thinking I didn’t want Sara. She said Sara was too young and too immature to be with someone of my social standing. When Sara told me what she did to her, God, I wanted to wring that woman’s neck. I kept my eyes closed for most of the conversation – no  - wait, the lecture.”

“So she couldn’t see your eyes changing?”

“Yes. I was so infuriated with her….”

Tom smiled as he watched Jared’s eyes changing from glowing amber to burning crimson. “Yes, I can tell. She doesn’t sound like the kind of person I would get along with either. But Jared, what are you going to do? She is Sara’s mother. You’ll eventually have to be around her.”

Jared chuckled. “I guess I’ll get a lot of dust in my eyes, but I am not giving Sara up. Even if I know I may only have her a short while.”

“Have you had any more dreams or visions about that? Anymore specifics about how it will….”

Jared sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “No. I’ve told you all I know about that. I’ve shown you every sketch pertaining to Sara’s death. I’ve cried. I’ve begged, and I’ve even cursed, but still no specific answer has been given. This is so unfair Dad. Sara is the life within my soul, and they won’t even tell me when it’s going to happen, or how I can stop it – if it
can
be stopped.”

“Jared,” Tom said in a soothing tone. “Sara is upset, and she’s worried. She doesn’t know what’s going on, or what’s happening to her, or even why. If you think she’s a seer, then it’s your duty to do what you can to help her understand what she is, where she came from, and where she’s going. Are you going to tell her?”

“Dad, I’m afraid if I tell her, then the fight is over. I will be acknowledging it’s my future – our future, and it will make it real. Make it happen. If I can stop it happening, I would lie to her with my last breath if I thought it would protect her.”

“Jared, if Sara has to die. If there’s some future event that depends on her dying, preventing it….”

“I know that too Dad,” Jared ground through his teeth.

“Jared, trying to prevent this by not telling Sara doesn’t necessairly mean you’ll be successful, and even if you are… it could still be depriving Sara of what she deserves.”

Jared wiped his angry tears and looked up at Tom. “What if it was Mom, Dad? What choice would you make?”

“Jared, I would choose to do what I felt in my heart was right. No matter what that may mean to me or your mother. But, it’s not me, and it’s not my choice. It’s yours, and it’s your future. Only you can decide how you want it to turn out.”

“All right Dad. I’ll tell her. But not until we’ve found out if Sara is Dine'é Kay-Yah.”

“How are you going to prove it Jared.”

“I’m going to talk to Donna Rigden again, and see what she thinks.”

“Is she the friend you were talking about when you mentioned proving how Grandmother died?”

“Well,  yes and no. Gary Browne, her cousin is the one I honestly wanted to talk to, but he’s gone now. He took the job in England, which I fully expected him to. I know I would have. Anyway, when he came to Wisteria Hall to talk to me, he brought Donna. She took over from Gary at D’Netics, the company I was telling you about. Anyway, according to Gary, Donna is just as good, if not better than him at this stuff. And, after talking with her, I agree. Donna told me exactly what I expected her to. She said she would be happy to take a look at Grandmother’s medical records, but without actual samples for testing, we wouldn’t be able to find out anything. She also said, since Grandmother’s body was burned, it would make it harder to prove anyway, especially without having her exhumed to collect those samples.”

Tom studied Jared’s eyes. “Jared, what is it going to accomplish? Let her rest. Grandmother deserves to be left in peace. Unless you can assure me these tests would give us definite answers, I’m not doing it.”

Jared sighed. “I know Dad. That’s why I told Donna to let me see what I could find out first, but that doesn’t stop me from approaching her about Sara’s past.”

Sara appeared on the patio. Tom looked back. “Hello Sara. I’ll leave you and Jared alone. If you need us, we’ll be inside,” he said, touching Sara’s shoulder as he passed her.

“Jared…?”

Jared stood. He wiped the tears from his eyes and turned. He walked up to Sara, kissed her and then held her. “Ayor anosh'ni yishdlį́į́h,” he whispered in her ear. “Always Sara!”

Chapter 31

Nine Months and Two Weeks Later….

The decision had been made.

Jared stood at the window, alone, gazing out at the night. The sky was as black as the dark cloud of emptiness that filled his heart. There was no moon. There were no stars. Not even a breeze. Just quiet and stillness. Even the Heavens seemed to dread the sadness that would come with the dawn.

Jared thought, perhaps if the Sun never rose, time would still, and he could remain, in this moment, frozen for all eternity. Could he do this? Could he take the breath of life from her? It was the last thread. His only connection to her left in this world. Oh Sara would never die. She lived in his soul. She would forever walk through the pages of his memory. Time or death couldn’t dim that.

Jared took Sara’s hand. He kissed it and held it against his cheek, as tears filled his eyes. That same sweet face was still there, but his precious wife wasn’t. His soulmate for all eternity had stepped into the great beyond. All that remained was her body. A shell that once housed a spirit so strong and free it put the angels to shame.

He looked around the room at all the familiar equipment. Machines he’d seen and used many times, yet now they seemed foreign. Invisible demons, sitting in wait to steal his dream. The respirator rose and fell in perfect rhythm. The EKG – what a liar it was – showed a strong, steady heartbeat. At least for now. Soon it would still and then beat no more.

Jared knew there was nothing he could do for her. Whether he kept her on life support or not, once Sara’s renal system failed – and as a doctor Jared knew it would – eventually her body would burn out, and begin to break down. That wouldn’t be fair to Sara. She deserved peace. He
had
to do this. He
had
to let go. He had to let
her
go. Jared knew this, and still, as he looked at her. How could he?

Jared had to keep reminding himself, that beautiful, sweet spirit that made Sara who she was had been gone for two weeks now. If he made it through this, knowing that fact was the only way he would do it. He had witnessed this scene hundreds of times, but never expected to see it from this point of view.

Jared looked at the bag of fluid, hanging from the IV pump. He traced the liquid down the tiny transparent tube, until it reached the needle and entered Sara’s arm, just above where her watch had rested.

Jared dared to let his eyes fall upon the switch that would end it all. All the pain and misery would end, and he could begin to heal. But could he heal? Did he
want
to heal? No, he didn’t. He didn’t want to heal. He didn’t want to stop hurting. But he had to. He had a baby that depended on him now. No matter how much it hurt, and how much he would miss Sara, Jared had to survive for Beth.

Just a few short minutes before she was born, Sara made Jared promise, if anything happened to her that he would take care of their daughter. She also made him promise not to blame himself. But Sara knew Jared wouldn’t listen. He blamed himself for anything unpleasant that had ever happened to her.

Jared knew this moment was coming, he just didn’t know when or how. Because of the things he had seen, he had believed that Sara would die in childbirth. But that wasn’t the case. Whether it had been with him, or with someone who could never love her as much as he did, Sara’s death was set in stone. The blood vessel that ruptured in her brain had been there, like a ticking time bomb. It couldn’t be shut off, and it couldn’t be stopped. It had absolutely nothing to do with Jared, but that wouldn’t stop him from doing what he promised Sara he wouldn’t do.

“Sara, I don’t know if I can do this. You’ve been with me for so long. I don’t know if I can let you go. I don’t know
how
to let you go. I’ve watched you grow up. I’ve grown up with you. I can’t imagine a single day of my life without you in it. Especially now that we have our little girl. I named her after you Angel. Her name is Sara Beth, but we’re going to call her Beth. She’s two weeks old, and she is
so
beautiful Sara. She has your eyes.”

Jared grinned slightly and continued. “Mother and Myra swear she’s got my grin, but I’m not sure about that. I wished you could see her. It breaks my heart that she’ll never know her mother. I’ll tell her about you, and she’ll have your pictures to look at, and songs to listen to, but she’ll never feel the warmth of your arms. I’ll love her enough for both of us Sara. She’ll know how much you loved her, and what you went through for her. One day, I’ll prove who you are. I’ll prove you have as much right to be a member of the Dine'é Kay-Yah as me, or Mother, or Dad, or anybody on that Council. One day they will bow their heads in shame that they denied you. On my last breath, I promise you this.”

Nadine laid her hand on Jared’s shoulder. “We should go Jared,” she said remorsefully. “Beth is hungry, and I need to get her to sleep. Why don’t you come with us and sleep too? Tomorrow will be hard enough on you, even worse if you haven’t slept.”

“Mother I can’t leave her,” he protested.

“Jared –
Son
– you’re not leaving Sara. Sara’s not here. She’s here,” Nadine said, holding her hand over his heart. “And here,” she said, touching her chest. “Sara will
never
die! Come home with us. We’ll help each other through this. Be with us and your daughter. Beth needs you Jared. She doesn’t need me, or your father, or your sister. Sara Beth needs her father,” she said studying his tear glossed eyes.

Jared stared into Nadine’s eyes for a long while. Finally, he sighed and nodded. He leaned over and kissed the side of Sara’s lips. “I’m going home now Angel, and see if I can get some rest. I’ll be back in the morning, and then I promise I’ll be by your side until the end. Ayor anosh'ni yishdlį́į́h,” he whispered. “Always Sara.”

------------

Nadine fastened Beth in her carrier and strapped her in. Then she buckled herself in the passenger seat.

Jared folded his arms over the steering wheel of his father’s black Mercedes and broke down again. “Oh God Mother!” he cried. “It’s not meant to be this way. Why does it hurt so much?”

Nadine’s eyes glossed with tears. “Because part of your soul that you shared with Sara is coming back to you. The connection you felt with Sara is breaking, and it feels like part of you is being ripped out. It will get better Jared. Once you’ve pulled the plug, and Sara is at last at rest, the pain will get better.”

“Will it Mother? Will it get better? What if I don’t want it to? What if I can’t do this? No matter what I know, in my heart, it will still be me that killed her. If I pull that plug, whatever chance there might have been, whatever remote possibility she might have had at surviving will be gone, and the blood will be on my hands.”

Nadine stroked Jared’s black, glossy hair. “No it won’t
Shiyaazh!”
she scolded him.
“I don’t believe that. Your father doesn’t believe that. Myra doesn’t believe that, and neither should you. One of the most important parts of loving someone is knowing when to let go. Knowing when you
have
to let go. The time has come Jared. It’s not anybody’s fault. This is what has to be. So stop blaming yourself. See Sara in Beth, and love them both that way now. Know every time you hold her, that she is part of both of you – you and Sara.”

Jared wiped his eyes, sighed deeply and sat back in the seat. He started the car, turned on the headlights and put the car in reverse. Words of comfort lasted but for a fleeting moment, for as Jared pulled on the highway, and the hospital faded in the distance, the pain was back. Memories crashed against him like a tsunami. It was all he could do to hold it together until he parked in the garage at the house. “You take Beth, and go on in,” he choked. “I’ll be in shortly. I just need a few minutes alone.”