Blood of Cupids (14 page)

I had completely forgotten that my father had promised to
send me a prospect for protection. I seemed to be completely forgetting a lot
of things lately. I’d love to blame it on the concussion, but I had a feeling a
good amount of my memory glitches had to do with Ryan. I was completely
consumed by him. I worried about him, I wondered what he was thinking, and I
wanted to be touching him at all times. It all kind of sucked. I was so good at
being independent. When did this need to please him become a thing?

“Hide.” I warned as I threw his clothes at him.

“You’re kidding me, right? I’m going out there. You stay
here.”

“No, Ryan.” I was attempting to redress and stall him at the
same time. “This is a prospect. My father didn’t trust that I could protect
myself.”

“He has a point.” He eyed my bruises as he scolded me.

“Shut up and help me.” He grabbed my sling and neatly
wrapped my arm in its confines. “Now hide.”

I ran out of the room, closing the door behind me. The light
was on, and I feared whom I would find as I rounded the hallway corner and
peered at the couch.

“Oh my good Lord, what the hell did you get yourself into?”

“Aunt Kathryn?” It was such a relief. I ran to her, well, as
much as I could run, and plopped down on the couch. “What are you doing here?”

“Your father sent me.”

“Dad sent
you
?”

She lowered her eyes to me and smirked. “Well no, he wanted
to send that body builder boy with the tattoo of a leopard on his bicep, but I
told him to cool it with the crazy. I knew you had a little secret friend, and
I also knew that sending in Mr. Muscles might put an end to your happy
tête-à-tête.”

“Aunt Kathryn, that’s over.”

“Why do you try to lie to me? Your face is flushed, you’re
radiating heat, and I can practically hear your heartbeat. Is he here now? I
want to meet him.”

“No, we actually just broke it off.”

“To hell you did.”

Even though I trusted Aunt Kathryn with my life, there was
no way she would condone my relationship with Ryan: if there still was a
relationship. I wasn’t quite sure how that ending played out. I needed to
change the subject.

“How did you convince Dad to let you come instead?”

“I told him you’d spend the whole time hiding from the
leopard that you’d probably find yourself in even more trouble, though, by the
looks of you, I don’t think that would be possible. What the hell happened to
you, baby girl?”

“Big misunderstanding. I was stupid and tried to follow the
boys.”

“And you got yourself shot? Just so you know, I tried to
give you the benefit of the doubt. I said you were a big girl and could protect
yourself. But then your daddy bought me a new car, so I promised him I’d come
spy on you. And I’m glad I did. You’re a mess!”

“It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“Don’t try to play this off. How do you expect to ever find
yourself out from under his wing if you’re going around getting yourself shot?
And what’s this thing on your forehead? It’s not becoming.”

“I think I hit a rock or something? I have a concussion.”

“Oh sweet Jesus, I can’t believe he didn’t drag you home by
your ankles. That man is getting soft.”

She was right. Maybe I didn’t deserve to be on my own. What
twenty-three year old college student gets themselves shot in the arm?

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“More lies. I know something was going on back there when I
walked in. This is an apartment; the walls are paper thin.”

“Oh my God, you’re embarrassing me. But I’m serious. It’s
over.”

“Mm hmm,” she teased, “this man must be a fucking rock star
if you’re willing to bend over with all this crap going on.”

“It just kind of… happened. We were saying goodbye.”

“I need to start hanging out with men from your generation.
Goodbyes in my world are nothing more than a slap on the ass.”

I shook my head at her, but she was right: Ryan
was
something of a rock star.

“But seriously, Gracie, does this boy know what happened? I
mean does he know where the bandages came from?”

We were heading down a road that was making me very
uncomfortable. “Yes.”

“And he knows who you are? Like who your family is?”

“Uh huh.” I tested.

“And then you’re telling me you broke up with him? Your
father said the only reason he allowed you to stay here was because none of the
Cupids
knew where you lived. If this boy is angry enough, who’s to say
he won’t get drunk one night and sell you out?”

I’d dug a hole from which I had no idea how to climb out.
She was definitely smart. I know Ryan would never tell anyone about our little
tryst, but what if someone followed him and found out about us that way? What
if they already knew where I lived and they were waiting for the right moment
to pounce? Why did I feel as though nothing I was doing would require me to
take a step back and look at the big picture? I could be in some serious danger
right about now. If they found out about us, they might think Ryan was a mole.
They might think I was leaking information to my father. I was so addicted to
my lust that I refused to recognize the implications. If this war was as
serious as I believed it was going to be, we may not live through it.

I started to become nauseated, and my head was spinning.

“I…it’s been a long day. I think I need to sleep.”

“Okay.” she pacifyingly smiled at me, knowing full well what
was going on in my head. “Get some sleep, baby, I’ll be right out here if you
need me.”

“Thanks, Aunt Kathryn.” I gave her a one armed hug and made
my way to find my hidden lover.

I opened the door to the bedroom and was taken aback by the
chill in the air. The room seemed empty, doomed. I walked to the open window
and tried with the full might of my one arm to seal it shut. It dawned on me
that I was not the one who opened it in the first place. Ryan must have left.
He snuck out. I guess it really was over. I guess, as long as no one found out
about our previous meetings, this split was for the best. I turned, feeling the
weight of the day on my shoulders. It was finally time for bed.

I took a step, accidently kicking a book across the floor.
Did the wind knock the book from the bookshelf? I lowered my aching body to the
ground, grasping the thick binding in my hand. It was a book of sonnets,
belonging to my mother. I flipped open the cover, for the first time noticing
the penmanship on the page:

E,

Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake

Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take…

Today, tomorrow, and past the light,

J

Had Ryan seen this page? Did he know its origin? Maybe he
was leaving me a message that he planned on seeing me again. Or else the
message was reflective of the outcome. I read the passage again, contemplating
his intention.

Today, tomorrow, and past the light.
Wait, that
wasn’t part of the verse. What did that mean?

And who was “J”?

My E,

I feel as though I’ve stepped out of a dream. I haven’t
been whole for so long. I thought this cruel world had condemned me to a life
knowing that you were so close, yet beyond my reach.

But there I was, holding you in my arms, smelling your
sweet breath, and melting as your warmth surrounded me. You said once that
maybe we were molding each other to be the companion that we dreamed, that
maybe our love was only in our heads. After three years of dreaming about you,
I curse my dreams for not coming close to your reality. And for that, I cannot
allow you to leave me again.

Say what you will, but you need me, and I need you. I
would give my life to be the man you deserve. You are my all, today, tomorrow,
and past the light.

Soon,

J

Minutes turned to hours, hours to days, and days to weeks.
The warm October twisted into a chilled November. I’d made a point to put Grace
from my mind; my focus was on repairing my club. Everyone had come together,
dedicated to making our family whole yet again. Guys tossed around ideas,
offering up suggestions regarding our retaliation, but nothing would be seriously
considered until our clubhouse was back on its feet. Pops wanted us to be
strong before we fought.

I worked longer, harder than the other members, but I had
more to prove. I still carried the weight of our failed plan, and I was
determined to set things straight. Not only that, but I had nothing else to do.
If I was to give myself any free time, there was the likely possibility that I
would find an excuse to seek out Grace. I couldn’t take that chance.

“Ry,” Pops yelled from the ground, “you almost done up
there? I want to talk to you about something.”

“I have three more shingles to nail down. What’s up?”

“Just some things I want to bounce off of you. Come inside
when you’re done.”

“Okay.”

I hadn’t done much talking over the past five or six weeks.
I, of course, feared the inevitable questions about Grace, but for the most
part, I just didn’t care to talk. I wanted to work. I wanted to fix our broken
home. Still, some things couldn’t be avoided, and the three shingles were now
in place. Work on the interior would begin in the morning. It was almost
complete. Revenge was on the horizon.

I pushed through the heavy new door and danced around piles
of two by fours, sheetrock, and insulation. Pops and Uncle Sean were leaning
against a beam, awaiting my arrival.

“What’s going on, guys?”

Pops stalled, obviously unsure of how to continue. Sean,
unsurprisingly, had no issue staging his attack.

“Where is Grace Brennan?”

“What?” Some part of me knew it was coming, but the
bluntness of it all shook me.

“Your girlfriend. Where is she?”

“I haven’t seen her. And she’s not my girlfriend.”

Pops played the other angle. “Ryan, we just need to know
what we’re up against.”

“What are you saying Pops?”

“We’re not going to hurt her. It’s just…well, kid, she knew
you were a member of this club, and she hid her own identity from you. It’s
suspicious, to say the least. We’re just interested to know how long she could
have been spying on us without our knowledge. We need to be ready for
anything.”

“I told you she had nothing to do with this.”

Sean was getting impatient. “Stop defending her. She’s one
of them.”

“She’s not!”

“Then tell me, Son,” Pops calmly approached me, “how else
could they have known?”

I wanted the conversation to be over. I wanted them to
forget they knew about Grace.

Sean slammed his fist into the beam. “Shit, kid, are you
stupid? When are you going to get it through your head that she’s using you?”

“Ry, we just want to talk to her.”

“What are you asking me? Do you want me to give you her
address so you go bombard her in her home? It’s not happening.”

“Then maybe you could do it.” This had to have been what
they were trying to get at all along.

“You want me to ask Grace to spy on her family for us?”

Sean jeered. “You said she’s not one of them.”

“But she’s also not one of us.”

“Exactly. And yet, you brought her into our lives. Now you
take care of it.”

“I’m not taking care of anything. She wants nothing to do
with this life. Let her stay out of it.”

“If you won’t do it…”

Pops interrupted. “Sean…”

“No. I’m sick and tired of you two being soft. We need to
defend our own. If that means the girl has to go, then so be it.”

It was instinctual. Within an instant I was at his throat,
lifting him off the ground by his jaw. “If you lay a finger on her, so help me
Sean—”

Pops didn’t move. He simply stopped us with his voice.
“That’s enough. We’ll figure out our retribution as a family. Not by a pissing
match in the middle of an unfinished room.”

I set Sean down and took two steps back.

He flashed a toothy grin and winked. “The funny thing is,
kid, you know I’m right.”

If I had been personally detached from this, and a vote was
cast around the table, I might have agreed with Sean. Bowie took away our
clubhouse. What better way to get back at him than to take away his daughter?
Sure, it was extreme, but that’s what we did. We never promised to be good.

But his daughter was Grace. My vote would always swing in
her favor.

“Grace is off the table.” I turned toward the exit, finished
with the conversation.

Sean’s whisper was meant for my ears. “We’ll see.”

I slammed the door behind me, making certain they knew my
feelings toward the previous conversation, but I didn’t walk away, not just
yet.

Sean, as I’d assumed, still had words to say. “I told you.
He’s too involved with this broad to see the big picture. We have to take care
of it ourselves.”

“He said he’s stopped seeing her, and I believe him.”

“Stop looking at Ryan as your son for just a second. We need
to do something about this chick. If he’s really not seeing her anymore, he’ll
understand that.”

There was a brief pause, but Pops came back into the
conversation. “Fine, Sean, talk to me. Do you know where she’s living?”

“I’ve known the whole time.”

“Then do you have something in mind?”

I waited breathless for Sean’s suspense-built reply. “Little
bro, it’s already taken care of.”