Blood Life Seeker (35 page)

Gregor opened the door slowly and peeked his head inside.

“Are you all right? I can hear your heartbeat from out here. It's motoring.”

I concentrated on my breathing for a moment, trying to settle myself. Finally I managed a quiet, “No.”

He came into the room and walked towards me. His shirt was undone, I think he had removed his belt and shoes, but he was still in his trousers, still dressed. But I could see a line of his skin, between the open sides of his shirt and my pulse skipped a beat. He stopped, mid way across the floor and just looked at me.

“Lucinda?”

I just shook my head.

“Do you want me to leave?”

I shook my head again.

He slowly walked closer, stopping at the edge of the bed, looking down at me. I didn't raise my head, just kept staring at the bedspread, gripping the covers between my fingers. He knelt down next to me and hesitantly reached out a hand. It hovered slightly for a second and then he touched my skin on my arm and the moment he did just that simple motion, lust burned through me uncontrolled.

He quickly pulled his hand away and gasped. “What the hell was that?”

I looked at him then and I don't know what he saw, because he paled, just slightly and then licked his lips.

“What do you want me to do?” he whispered a little breathlessly.

“Touch me.” It was barely a whisper, but I knew he'd heard. He was shaking his head, back and forth.

“No. Not like this, not when you're angry at him”

“Please.”

“No.” More firmly this time. He even shifted to get up and stand, but I reached out and grabbed his hand, my hot skin against his, slightly cooler. He collapsed back to his knees.

“What
is
that?” he asked, almost in pain.

“I don't know,” I whispered.

“Something is not right. This is not right.” He didn't sound too convinced on that, I was still holding his hand. I moved my thumb softly over his palm and he stilled. My eyes locked with his, platinum shooting through the silver and I pulled him slowly towards me.

He actually looked scared. Startled even. This was not going how I had imagined it. Why was he fighting me? I finally had his body hard up against the side of the bed, still holding his hand. I got up to my knees and faced him, pushing my body against his chest. I was taller than him in this position and it didn't feel right, so I slid one leg off the bed on one side of him and then the other to the other side, so I was back sitting on the edge of the bed, my legs on either side of his hips. He looked like he was drowning.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, snuggling my lower body in against his waist, wrapping my legs around his hips. Making the T-Shirt ride up my thighs and yet he was still just kneeling there, stiff, breathing too quickly.

“Touch me.” It was more a command than a request.

His hands immediately came up to my thighs, running along the bare length of them, sliding up under my T-Shirt. Better, much better. Slowly working their way up my sides, until they rested either side of my naked breasts and he shuddered against me. I pulled his head towards me, his eyes still a slightly startled silver, but his mouth already open, waiting, wanting what was about to happen. Our lips brushed together, so softly, then I went back for a small nibble, taking his bottom lip between my teeth and biting down, just gently, just enough so that if he pulled back it would hurt.

He groaned against my mouth, his hot breath almost scalding me.

“I want you,” I whispered against him. “Make love to me.”

He whimpered. A strangled sound I never thought I'd hear from his lips, but he pushed me back against the bed, climbing on top of me, his legs between mine, mine wrapping back around him again, so that I could feel the full hardness of him against me.

“You want me too,” I said.

“Yes.” It was just a breath, husky, raw with need.

And suddenly we were kissing like before, like the alleyway. Like we wanted to get right inside each other, to get closer and closer, to climb inside each other's mouths and devour every inch. His hand had found my breast, gripping tightly, almost too tightly, moving and rubbing and squeezing. It was rougher than I had ever felt before and I wanted it, I wanted it so badly. I wanted rough, I wanted to feel. I wanted him and it had nothing to do with what Michel had just done and everything to with a fierce need I felt only he could satisfy.

I pulled the oversized T-Shirt off over my head and his mouth found my breast, where he had only seconds before been fondling. His teeth scraping along the already taut nipple, making me gasp and writhe beneath him.

“Oh God.” I heard him say, voice strained, his mouth no longer sucking on my nipple. I didn't stop moving, wanting to feel that hard length against me, deep, deep inside me. This was going too slowly, not fast enough, I needed him right now. I wanted him right now, but he had stopped, stilled above me. No longer moving his hands and fingers over my flesh, no longer kissing, licking and biting his way across my chest. His eyes were closed, his face looked pained.

“Stop moving!” It was a growl and it did make me pause. A vampire growl can be very intimidating.

He opened his eyes and I almost drowned in all that delicious silver and grey. I felt like I was being pulled towards them, into them, down to depths of him. And I felt something, vaguely, against my shields in my mind, but I didn't pay it too much attention, I wanted to drown in those eyes. So when I felt it again against my shields, I didn't fight it, I just lowered them and his
Sanguis Vitam
came rushing in.

The last thing I remember before blissful, safe and comforting sleep washed over me, was Gregor in my mind whispering,
je suis
désolé
, ma cherie.

And then sweet blissful sleep.

Whatever Gregor had done to my mind must have been powerful, but then I had lowered all of my defences for him, so it may not have been too hard. I have a natural repelling power to most vampire mind control, but some are able to have a small and short lasting effect on me. I think Gregor has had this effect on me in the past, but I can normally shake it off quite quickly. Last night, or more precisely, this morning, he had bespelled me a beauty, because I didn't wake until very late in the afternoon, having slept the entire day away.

Of course, I probably needed it, it had been a hell of a day, even by my standards. Not only having flown half way across the planet, I'd faced off against the Champion, doing some amazing bespelling of my own, nearly died, met my metaphysical mother, watched Michel nearly die, then fought a group of well mannered rogue vampires, witnessed my kindred's infidelity and fought with Gregor to have sex. So, yeah, all in all one of my more productive nights, that's for sure.

So, was it at all surprising that the clock next to the bed when I woke said 4:45pm?

Sunset was still a couple of hours away, I could feel it approaching though, like a breath of fresh air and an anticipation through the building of the joys of the night to come. I don't think I had ever been so in tune with vampires en masse before. Maybe it had something to do with being near the
Iunctio
and all the power they possess, or maybe it was just me. I felt different after my little visit with Nut, not quite the same any more. I was also very cautious of my powers, more so than I have ever been since coming into them.

My Light actually scared me now and I didn't know how to deal with that.

One thing at a time.

I got up and went straight into the shower, dressing back in my hunter gear. I would have liked a complete change of clothes, but they were of course back in the chamber where Michel was. I knew I would have to face him before sunset, before we were due at the dinner with the council, but I just didn't know if I had the strength for that. Confrontation has never been my strongest suit. I'd far prefer, right now, the idea of a full on battle, stake in hand, than a sit down conversation with my kindred.

I hesitated before I opened the bedroom door to the lounge. I hadn't forgotten last night, every little detail was emblazoned on my mind. From the addictive and delicious feel of Gregor's touch, to the outright kill-me-now-if-I-don't-have-you desire I had felt. To the fact that he had stopped it before it got too far. He at least deserved my thanks for that one.

Would I have regretted it if we had gone all the way last night? I think so, I think I really don't want to be unfaithful to Michel, despite everything that has happened. Call me a sucker for punishment, but I can't stop thinking that Michel is still mine and even if he has cast me aside, I am still his. That may change, I may get my head around our new living arrangements eventually, but right now, I still loved him, I still wanted him. It sucked. But it was true.

So, yes. Gregor deserved my thanks.

I opened the door slowly. Sometimes fast is good, sometimes slow is better and sometimes you just do what comes naturally and go with the flow. Slow, was definitely the order of the day.

He was sitting on the couch in different clothes from last night, so he must have come in the bedroom at some point and even showered by the look of him. I hadn't even stirred. He could have done anything to me and I wouldn't have known. I blushed slightly at the thought, but pushed it aside. If he hadn't taken the opportunity when I offered it to him so readily last night, he wouldn't have done a damn thing with me out cold. That was for sure.

He looked up and smiled. It was cautious, it didn't quite reach his eyes. If I hadn't known better, I'd have said he was holding his breath, waiting for the hammer to drop. I guess I was the hammer.

“Hi.” Well, that was pathetic, but my mouth was suddenly dry and saying anything more than a one syllable word seemed damn near impossible all of a sudden.

His smile widened slightly and this time it did reach his eyes. I can't decide yet if his eyes are the best part of him or the curve of his soft lips.

“Good evening. I trust you slept well?”

“Like a log. What did you do to me?” I had meant it as a joke, but somehow it held more weight than it should have. His eyes flashed, but it was so quick I didn't get to register what colour.

“You were under a spell, Lucinda, I had no choice. I am sorry, but I had to override whatever was controlling you, making you act the way you were. It required a little more force than I had expected.”

What the hell? Under a spell? Impossible.

“Not impossible, true.” He was looking at me intently, almost waiting for me to start acting strange again, I suppose. So, what happened last night was because of a spell, but what spell and to what end?

I came and sat down on an armchair across from him, I noticed he relaxed slightly. What had he thought I would do? Jump his bones as soon as I walked through the door? He laughed, that huff of a laugh he does when he's trying to stop it from spilling out altogether.

I glared at him. “Get out of my head, Gregor.”

“I am sorry, little Hunter. I seem to be having some trouble blocking you right now, or maybe you are just projecting too hard.”

“I'm not projecting.”

“Are you so sure?”

I thought about it for a minute, tested my shields, the ones I used to contain my thoughts, they all seemed intact. So, no, not projecting.

“Then it is me. I am sorry. I will try a little harder to block you.”

“Are you hearing
every
thought in my head?”

“And more,” he whispered. Did I want to know what
more
meant?

“Probably not,” he answered.

“Hell, Gregor! Try harder.”

“OK. OK. You are right. Sorry.” His head ducked and he crossed his legs, fidgeting in his seat. So
not
him.

I sighed. This was insane. Could my life be any weirder?

OK. So, I'd just have to ignore the reading my darkest thoughts part and concentrate on what I had intended to say to him when I first came out here.

“Thanks for last night. You know, for not letting it get out of hand.” Well, any more out of hand than it had already got, thanks to me.

“You are welcome. Somehow, I do not think you would have been happy with me or yourself today, had I not.”

Yeah. He was right. So, why did I feel like crap about it all? Aw shit. This sucked and the night hadn't even begun yet.

“I have to go back to my chamber,” I said rather pathetically.

“Yes.”

“I don't want to.” More of that same pathetic-ness.

“I can tell.”

“From reading my thoughts?” He wasn't trying hard to block me, was he?

“No. From knowing you and knowing how hard this would be for you. You don't like personal confrontations, Lucinda. You run from them if you can.”

Really? He didn't answer my thought, maybe he was just biting his tongue.

“I shall escort you to your door. Unfortunately, I can't allow you to go on your own and I would not trust another to get you there safely.” He stood then and picked his jacket up off a chair, slipping into it with practised ease. I hadn't meant to watch his every move so closely. To notice how his shoulders flexed as he stretched to put an arm in a sleeve, the movement making me remember the feel of his muscles under my hands. I swallowed and he stilled, mid motion and turned to look at me.

“It is a strong spell.” He sounded choked.

“Are you under it too?” My voice was low, a little husky. Shit.

He looked pained, almost sad, but just shook his head at me.

“No,” he said, voice controlled, even. “But I can feel your desire for me, your hunger and it is not yours, Lucinda.”

“How do you know it's not mine?” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his.

He swallowed and slowly blinked his eyes. “Because I know your desire, I have felt it before. And it is always laced with guilt, confusion and frustration, never an unadulterated need such as this.”

Oh damn. How could I even trust what I was feeling then?

“You can't.” I didn't even tell him off for reading my thoughts, they were loud inside my head, I could hardly blame him. “You must only remember that they are not yours, not right now anyway and try to act accordingly.”

Easy for you to say. He didn't answer, just finished getting his jacket on and doing up the buttons. I tried to look away.

He went straight to the door and opened it. He didn't come to me and offer a hand up, as he would normally do. He was trying to keep a distance. I shook my head. He was afraid of me.

“Not afraid of you,” he said from the door. “Afraid of what I will do, if I get too close to you right now.”

I stood to look at him, but he had his back to me, holding the door open, refusing to make eye contact.

Damn, this sucked big time. But, what was there left to do? I walked out the door, giving him a wide berth, it was the least I could do for him. We walked in silence down the corridors. I don't think he was too worried about us being seen together. We looked so solemn, that anyone witnessing it would have assumed the Enforcer had just been questioning me, all official business, no hanky panky going on here folks.

Finally we came to the door of Michel's chamber and I couldn't help the panic that flooded through me. Gregor turned to look at me, sympathy in his eyes.

“He is your kindred Nosferatu, Lucinda. No matter what happens now, he will always be that.”

Way to go Gregor. Way to make me feel better about all of this.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “If I could do this for you, I would,
ma cherie
, but only you can walk this road.”

I nodded, he was right. There was no avoiding it. Michel and I were tied to each other for eternity, or until one of us dies and the other goes along for the ride.

“Ask him about the Nemesis. He will understand,” Gregor added, apropos of nothing.

“Understand what?”

“Just ask him, Lucinda.” And with that, he turned and walked away. No goodbye touch, no brush of his lips against my skin, nothing. I wanted to cry. But crying wasn't going to help me now, so I took a deep breath, put my hand on the door and didn't hesitate.

It seemed this time, fast was good.