Authors: Matthew Tomasetti
Tags: #vampire, #urban fantasy, #paranormal romance, #supernatural, #werewolf, #parody, #lycan, #new adult
Blake studied her for a moment, his face
passive, and then a small smile crept over his lips.
“What?” she said.
“You have to be one of the most intriguing
women I’ve ever met,” he said. He shook his head, choosing his
words carefully. “It’s hard to believe someone as attractive as you
is still a virgin.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way or
anything. I think you’re admirable. I only meant most girls come to
an age when they realize the power they have and they use it. I
find you interesting because of how little you’re like everyone
else.”
Candy wasn’t unfamiliar with what he meant—she
used her God-given assets to great effect, she just had some
self-respect. Their conversation was interrupted when White Paul
came back into the room and joined Jimmy and Medium Dave at the
couch. A moment later, Nigel strolled over to join them as
well.
“I should tend to my guests,” Blake said.
“Even if they don’t like me, I have only their best interest in
mind.”
Candy nodded and they headed over to the
others. It looked like Nigel was questioning Medium Dave; the poor
boy’s face was flushed and both White Paul and Jimmy glanced back
and forth between the two of them.
“. . . are you sure you’re not that crimson
shower chap?” Nigel was saying.
Medium Dave shook his head emphatically and he
didn’t appear happy about whatever Nigel was going on about. Nigel
narrowed his eyes, clearly suspicious.
“You look just like him. The resemblance is
uncanny.”
Blake stepped in to stop Nigel’s badgering,
asking his guests if they needed anything. White Paul asked if
there was anything to drink.
“Yes, in the kitchen,” Blake said. “Quite a
few mortals work here so I’m sure we can find something for
you.”
Blake started towards a door to show White
Paul the way. In an attempt to get away from Nigel, Medium Dave
jumped up to join them. When Candy saw the look on Jimmy’s face she
knew she’d better not be around to hear whatever rant he was about
to go on once everyone else had cleared the room.
“I need to use the bathroom,” she
said.
As she walked towards the door White Paul had
gone down earlier, she heard Nigel saying something to Jimmy about
the fine piece of tail Blake had found for himself. She imagined
Jimmy was ready to explode. She hurried down the hall to the
bathroom so she wouldn’t have to hear anything else.
She was thinking about the whole messed up
situation. Just last week, she had gone barhopping in Springfield
with her friends. The thought that there could have been vampires
there sent chills along her skin. It wasn’t long ago when she was
worried about passing her final exams and now she was worried about
vampires and lycanthropes. It wasn’t long ago when she had to
decide between Aaron, star of the basketball team or Justin, the
best lacrosse forward in decades. Now she was surrounded by
werewolves and vampires.
It dawned on her that she had been thinking
all of this over ever since she first laid eyes on Blake. And why
shouldn’t she have? Blake was hot; did it matter if he was a
vampire? It should have. What Rupert did was unspeakable,
unforgivable, but oddly enough it still didn’t matter. She shook
her head and flipped on the light switch in the bathroom. She
hardly had time to appreciate the rose granite counters and brass
faucets when she stopped dead in her tracks. A dreadful smell like
something had died in there nearly knocked her off her feet. She
had to clamp her hands over her nose and mouth. She stepped in
cautiously, and then she screamed.
She hurried out of the bathroom. Jimmy had
already sprinted most of the way down the hall and he took her in
his arms before he was hit with the foul odor. He reeled, stepping
back into the hall, nearly knocking Nigel over.
“Are you okay?” Jimmy said, gagging. “What in
the name of God is that smell?”
Nigel pushed past them into the bathroom.
“Fuck me that’s a whopper!”
Jimmy leaned in and peered at the toilet. His
eyes grew wide.
“Bloody hell, are those teeth?” Nigel said.
“What are you yanks eating?”
From behind Candy, White Paul said in a
somewhat apologetic tone, “I ate a horse last night.”
“A
horse
?” Nigel said, his voice
pitched in disbelief. “A whole bloody
horse
?”
“Yeah—”
“You ate its head?”
“I was hungry!”
Candy dared another glance inside the
bathroom, to the toilet on the far side of the wall. She couldn’t
help herself, it was like seeing something amazing for the first
time except this was the exact opposite of amazing. There were
definitely teeth embedded in it. Candy had to look away before she
gagged, and then she and Jimmy both turned to White Paul, her with
disgust and Jimmy with undiluted anger.
Blake’s footsteps echoed down the hall.
Scooting between Nigel and White Paul, his eyes widened when he got
a good look inside the bathroom. He took a tentative step closer,
his eyes refusing to believe, and then he quickly clasped his hands
over his mouth. As he hunched over, everyone began taking steps
away from him.
“You feeling well, chap?” Nigel asked
him.
A sick rumbling filled Blake’s chest, making
him sound hollowed inside. He hunched over even more and then blood
spurted between his fingers. He couldn’t hold it back any longer
and when he removed his hands a torrent of blood exploded from his
mouth.
Everyone screamed and ran. With a glance over
her shoulder, it looked to Candy as if Nigel was terrified for his
life. White Paul and Jimmy sprinted past everyone else into the
antechamber while Blake’s horrible groaning and explosive vomiting
resounded all the way down the hall.
“Oh my God,” Candy said. “I think he’s
dying!”
White Paul had the guilty look of a child who
had done something really bad but didn’t know how bad it would turn
out to be. Like playing with matches and then setting the house on
fire. Jimmy stared down the hall in horrified silence while
gut-wrenching heaves and groans echoed off the high ceiling of the
antechamber, giving it the effect of surround sound.
“Go help him!” Candy said.
Jimmy looked at her like she was crazy. “I’m
not going down there,” he said.
“Damn it!”
Candy moved cautiously down the hall, cringing
each time Blake gasped for breath. As she drew closer, she could
see the walls and ceiling dripping with blood. Her eyes watered and
she had to slap her hands over her mouth before she lost her
dinner. She saw him ahead doubled over and holding onto the
doorframe. He looked half dead.
“Are you okay?”
Blake lifted his head. Blood dripped from his
nose and chin, and down from his eyes. He didn’t look okay at
all.
Blake took his guests into a room next to the
den and they all sat in silence around a long table that could have
seated three times as many people. There were shelves of books
along the walls, making Candy think it served the purpose of both a
library and a conference room.
Blake slouched down in his chair. His skin was
ashen white and his eyes sunken and purple, which gave Candy the
eerie feeling that she was sitting next to a corpse. Jimmy sat on
her left glaring across the table at White Paul, who hadn’t lifted
his head once.
“Bloody good show,” Nigel said. “I haven’t
been this entertained since that blood brothel I visited in Georgia
during the summer of seventy-four. The whores did a fantastic
recreation of a Civil War battle in assless chaps. They even had
this bloke who looked so much like Abe Lincoln I swear up and down
it was really him. The girls all attacked him with bayonets until
he raised his flag in surrender. And when I say his flag, I mean
his tallywhacker.”
Nigel chuckled and slapped his knee while
everyone stared at him. Blake lifted his head for a moment to
narrow his eyes. Candy was genuinely concerned for their vampire
host’s health.
“Is there anything you need? You look
terrible,” she said.
Blake shook his head. “I’m fine. I just need
to recuperate for a moment.”
“He expelled quite a bit of blood,” Nigel
said. “I imagine he needs a refill. I’d pay quite generously to
watch.” He winked at Candy.
“I’m fine,” Blake said, sitting up and looking
around with a scowl. He growled a little as his narrowed eyes
lingered on White Paul. “You’re my guests and I’m going to
entertain you. Renaldo!”
An attractive man of Mediterranean descent
with curly black hair came running into the room. The servant never
lifted his eyes to anyone, and Candy didn’t want to imagine what
Blake might have him do to entertain them.
“Fetch Monopoly,” Blake said. “And have
Stephanie bring out drinks for the guests when she’s done with the
bathroom.” When the servant turned to leave, Blake grabbed his arm.
“Don’t mess it up. Two vampires and four humans.”
“Monopoly?” Jimmy said.
The news of Monopoly pleased Medium
Dave.
“What’s wrong with Monopoly? It’s my favorite
board game,” Blake said.
Jimmy rubbed his tired eyes. “Where’s
Anastasia? I’d like to get this moving along.”
“My
mother
will be here when she’s
ready. Until then you
will
be entertained.”
“I can hardly wait,” Jimmy said, making sure
Blake saw his rolling eyes.
Candy leaned close to Jimmy and whispered, “I
played Dungeons and Dragons with you and your friends. You can
suffer through a game of Monopoly with me.”
Renaldo and another female servant came back
into the room with a giant box. They put it on the floor and then
opened it. Inside was a custom made Monopoly game that was so big
they had to set it up in quadrants on the table. Candy watched with
curiosity as Renaldo hung what looked like the inside of a cash
register onto his shoulder so that it hung near his waist. And,
appropriately enough, the slots were filled with colorful fake
money. The manservant then plucked up one of the pure gold game
pieces and offered it to Blake.
“Your battleship, Master Blake.”
“Thank you, Renaldo. You may place it on ‘GO.’
”
Renaldo turned his attention to Candy. “And
what piece does the lady prefer?”
“Uh.” Candy had played Monopoly once when she
was nine. “The dog?”
“Bloody good choice,” Nigel said. “Would you
mind if I take the top hat?”
Renaldo passed out the starting money to each
player as they chose their piece. Once that was done, he set the
pieces on the giant “GO” space on the board. He picked up a pair of
dice and offered them to Blake.
“I believe Master Blake has the honor of
playing first,” he said.
Blake rolled the dice and Candy watched in
horror as Renaldo, not Blake, who didn’t budge from his seat in the
least, moved his master’s game piece forward on the board. She and
the Misfits (with the exception of Medium Dave) looked aghast at
one another. White Paul was ready to explode with a snide comment.
She suspected he wanted to rage, but held back because he felt so
bad about what he did to the bathroom.
“I’ll purchase,” Blake said.
Renaldo nodded and removed the appropriate
amount of money from Blake’s stack and then he put the property
card in front of him. Blake watched on with a satisfied grin while
Candy, Jimmy, and White Paul didn’t bother to hide their
revulsion.
Jimmy leaned close to Candy. “You were
saying?”
This carried on for nearly thirty minutes.
Renaldo hurried around the table moving pieces, handing out cards,
and taking money while the players did nothing other than roll
dice. On his first turn White Paul had tried to move his own piece,
but Renaldo smacked his hand. Candy couldn’t remember ever being
this bored. White Paul had passed out after each of his last two
turns and had to be woken up to roll the dice.
“You little bugger!” Nigel said, wagging a
finger at Blake. “Hotels already? I suspect we shan’t last much
longer.”
White Paul shot up from a deep sleep. “What!
Is it over?”
Finally, a maid came in to serve drinks. The
two vampires were given a thick red liquid in a tall glass that
Candy assumed was blood. Everyone else was given white wine. Candy
gulped down half of it at once.
“You realize none of us are twenty-one,
right?” Jimmy pointed out to Blake.
“You care about the arbitrary laws mortals
come up with?” Blake said. “Have a drink. Relax and live a
little.”
“Because this is the high life right here,”
Jimmy countered with a wave at the Monopoly board. “Highly
retarded.”
“Fine. What do you suggest we play?” Blake
said. “How about a game of one on one at the basketball
court?”
“Blake used to play in high school,” Medium
Dave said. “He’d probably stomp you.”