Blindsided (27 page)

“Hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. My brothers and I are the strongest bastards I know.”

“So is that why you don’t get along with Isaac? The fights and then him deserting both of you?”

“Partially.”

“There’s more?”

Tanner stood, and Emma knew she’d gotten as far as she could get tonight, which was pretty far for a guy like Tanner. “I’m not talking about that.” He leaned in and kissed her long, deep, and rough. He finally leaned back, leaving her breathless and wanting a lot more. “But I am talking about you and me getting naked.”

“Then let’s quit talking and start doing.”

His grin spread across his face. “That’s my girl.”

They literally raced back to the cottage, clothes flying as soon as they hit the doorway.

* * * *

Things changed after that night on Bainbridge and not just because Tanner had the best sex of his life that night, which was saying a lot, especially with Emma. He didn’t understand how the sex could get better and better. Each time topped the last, and he swore nothing could beat it. Yet, Emma was full of surprises. After his momentary lapse in self-protection, she loosened up around him. The loosening was subtle, yet huge. At least it was to Tanner. She trusted him more with her heart, and he trusted her more with his.

Not that they’d ever broached the subject of hearts, love, or even the future. Tanner couldn’t bear to think about a future without Emma. He’d be the first to admit, he’d taken this casual, temporary relationship and elevated it to an entirely new level in his head.

He’d never been in love. He’d certainly mistaken lust for love, and he’d been in lust a lot, but he’d never experienced this need to just be with another person above and beyond getting her naked. He adored hanging out with Emma and talking to her. Hell, they spent hours talking sports and how to get his game back. Emma’s insights proved to be profound and invaluable.

Within the next month, Tanner and Emma settled into a routine. Emma understood how important this year was for Tanner’s career. She never once complained about the countless hours he spent at the Bridge, getting up before dawn and coming home after dark. He called her several times during the day, and reserved one night a week for them to be together.

Emma started classes, needing only three to finish her degree. She continued her party crashing career, much to Tanner’s dismay. The thought of Emma in those hot evening gowns with men drooling all over her at gala events or wedding receptions boiled his blood and turned him greener than the Steelheads’ practice field. Only he kept his jealousy to himself, realizing how important earning her own money was to Emma, who’d proven to be more independent than he’d ever realized.

The team had a long way to go as a unit, but they managed to win two out of their first three regular season games, barely squeaking out wins against unimpressive opponents. While Tanner didn’t exactly win games for them, he didn’t lose them either. In the meantime, his confidence grew. His rapport with his receivers increased during each game. His linemen began to trust his ability to get the ball down the field before they were completely worn out blocking for him. They were starting to click on all cylinders. Their defense and special teams kept them in the games, sometimes being the sole scorers. In past years, Tanner screwed up close games by trying too hard, putting a ball in a tight space and being intercepted, overthrowing his man downfield, or fumbling a hand off because he wasn’t in sync with his running back. He hadn’t turned the ball over once in three games.

Meyer appeared pleased, even though he didn’t say as much, but his scowl was a little less pronounced and once Tanner caught a glimmer of a smile when Tanner connected with Hunter for a forty-yard gain.

They weren’t Super-Bowl caliber yet, but the machine kept running and was becoming reliable.

Tanner had Emma to thank for a lot of it, and he owed her a shot at Nashville, regardless of what might happen with them.

With a heavy sigh, Tanner put down his phone and glanced around the locker room to make sure his teammates hadn’t caught the conversation. No one looked his way; they were too busy taking care of their own pre-game rituals.

The deed was done. Whether he liked it or not, he’d been noble and kept his promise to Emma. Yet, doing the right thing didn’t feel so good this time around. A sense of foreboding cast gray storm clouds over his head.

He hated doing it, but for Emma he would do anything, even ruin the good stuff they had together. Sincerely unselfish gestures had never played a part in his past, but Emma deserved the very best he had to give, even if he suffered in the process. This personal growth shit hurt like fucking hell.

Beed and his wife were in town for tonight’s Monday Night Football game, which made this as good a time as any, though much earlier than planned, being only one month into the season. Yet nothing moved fast in the music business—or so Tanner told himself—so exposing Beed and Steph to Emma’s talent didn’t guarantee they’d be whisking her off to Nashville any day soon.

Steph agreed to check out Emma during Wednesday night karaoke and report her thoughts to Tanner, who’d relay them to Emma. Because he feared Emma would be nervous if she knew a big-time Nashville agent to the stars sat in the audience, Beed and Steph would keep a low profile and not communicate with Emma.

A deeply-seeded selfishness within Tanner hoped they wouldn’t like what they heard, but he knew differently. He prided himself on being a team player, even though he’d only given it lip service in the past. With Emma he’d grown to understand the true meaning of the word. His burgeoning understanding trickled down to his interactions with coaches and teammates, making him a better leader. He still fought his selfish tendencies to win the game with his arm or scramble for a touchdown when better options were available. No guts, no glory didn’t mean he needed to be the one doing the scoring or running for a first down. It took guts to make the right decision and allow another player to seize the glory. Now he was doing the same for Emma.

The pain and fear gripping his heart killed him, but he had a game to play. His team and Emma deserved his best performance.

Hunter, who operated on his own time schedule, sauntered into the locker room, not the least bit frazzled or concerned about his lateness. He sat down on the bench in front of his locker and started taking off his street clothes, which consisted of worn blue jeans, an old T-shirt, and ratty sneakers. A tribal dancer and drummer, Hunter literally danced to his own drum.

Tanner busied himself in his locker, avoiding Hunter’s gaze because the guy had this disconcerting way of analyzing him with just one glance. With the big Monday night game looming and worries about a possible Nashville career for Emma, Tanner didn’t need dissected. He needed avoidance, a practice he’d honed to an art in the past. It wasn’t working for him too well in his current state though.

Tanner’s phone beeped, and he picked it up, a slow smile spreading across his face. As he read the text, the heaviness inside him lifted, replaced by a delicate, yet growing sense of hope. Tomorrow the doubts would return, but tonight, he’d embrace what they had.

Kick some Detroit ass tonight. You’re my personal hero. Emmie

Tanner grinned. She used the word “ass.” He was rubbing off on her. He tapped out his answer.
For you, I will. You’re my heroine. Tan

Hunter cleared his throat, and Tanner stiffened.

Busted
.

“She’s damn good for you.”

Tanner sighed and faced the inevitable. “Yeah, she is.”

Hunter scrutinized him with those piercing brown eyes which always cut through the fog of Tanner’s bullshit and saw him too clearly. “She’s the one.”

“I hope so because I did marry her,” Tanner joked.

Hunter didn’t crack a smile. “You weren’t in love with her when you married her. Now you are.”

Tanner opened his mouth to protest and present his case outlining all the reasons why he wasn’t in love with Emma, but Hunter turned his back and wandered off to offer words of wisdom to a couple defensive backs.

Tanner sat down hard on the bench and stared into space. Considering his background, he’d never given love much of a thought. Sure, he’d loved his mother and his sister unconditionally, but when they died so had his capacity to love, or so he’d assumed.

Maybe he’d assumed wrong?

Maybe that explained why the thought of losing Emma opened a gaping hole in his chest and hurt like fucking hell.

And maybe a couple hours before a Monday Night Football game wasn’t the time to be thinking about his future—or lack of—with Emma.

He tapped out another message.
See you after the game. Signing out for now.

Good luck. Not that you’ll need it.

Putting his phone away, Tanner put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Breathing deeply and rhythmically, he cleared his mind, just as the sports psychologist the team now employed had taught him. At this level, the mental game beat out the physical game, and Tanner needed every ounce of his concentration directed toward football.

He let his body relax, float, just be, until he found that elusive zone and visualized touchdown after touchdown. His mind followed his body and relaxed, opening up to possibilities and flooding him with confidence. He’d trained all his life for a professional football career. He could and would do this because he belonged here, and he was the only one who could screw up this opportunity.

And this new, improved Tanner didn’t beat himself. This Tanner was a winner.

* * * *

As usual Emma sat in the stands with her sisters, their guys, and Riley, except for Bellani, who’d remained absent from every game and continued to pout about heaven knew what. Instead, Cedric took Bella’s seat, loving American football as if he’d been raised around it, especially the hitting. He went nuts over a hard hit, not caring which team did the hitting.

The atmosphere in the stadium was different. The sold-out crowd tested their lungs long before the first snap. The team was two and one, off to their best start in five years. Tanner had played well. While his performances hadn’t been earth-shattering, he steadily improved and didn’t make the mistakes that had plagued him the past two years.

Emma leaned forward as Tanner ran onto the field for the coin toss. Detroit won the toss, leaving the Steelheads to receive. He took a moment to find her in the crowd, and she blew him their ceremonial kiss, which, as usual, he tucked in his invisible pocket.

A few minutes later the game was underway.

Demon ran the kickoff back to the Steelheads’ thirty-five, and Tanner took the field.

The first two plays were running plays followed by a short pass to Hunter for a first down. Emma watched with pride as Tanner stood behind center and barked an audible to his offense, commanding respect in a manner he’d been lacking the previous two years.

Emma’s gaze switched briefly to Jack Meyer, the quarterback coach and a Seattle legend with multiple Super Bowl wins. Meyer paced the sidelines, as if he wished he were out there. Yet, a catastrophic knee injury had forced him into early retirement and the Steelheads into the dark years under the former ownership.

Emma held the binocs to her eyes and watched Tanner. He took the ball from center, stepped into the pocket, did a quick read down the field and sent a bullet to Cam, who grabbed it midfield and ran like the devil tailed him. The crowd rose as one, including Emma, screaming her lungs out as Cam sprinted twenty yards for the score. Jumping up and down, Emma hugged Avery and then Izzy.

The Steelheads went up seven to zero and never looked back. Tanner played a perfect game, throwing two touchdown passes with no fumbles or interceptions.

After the game Emma waited with her family near the locker room. The atmosphere was charged with excitement, and Emma was as caught up in it as anyone. She’d never been a fair-weather fan. She’d supported the team through all the bad years, loss after painful loss, which made today’s win that much sweeter.

Emma couldn’t be happier for the team and Tanner. As soon as he walked out of the locker room, she ran toward him, only to be pushed away by a horde of reporters shoving mics in his face and cameramen jostling for the best angle for their shots.

Emma stood back, alarmed at how frantically crazy the press was. She’d never seen their rabid behavior before because the team had been such perpetual losers, only the local press bothered to interview the players. Finally the crowd dissipated as the reporters went in search of quotes from new victims. Tanner shrugged off the few remaining reporters and headed straight to Emma. She didn’t hesitate, but launched herself into his arms. He kissed her long and deep, and she kissed him right back, not caring who witnessed their affection or how many photos were being snapped and videos being recorded.

Finally Cooper and Isaac’s gagging and shouts of “Get a room” penetrated Emma’s brain. She pushed away from Tanner who reluctantly released her, yet kept one arm possessively around her waist. Tanner motioned to his wingmen and together the group left for a celebration dinner with family and friends.

* * * *

Isaac arranged for one half of a downtown Seattle Irish pub to be closed off for a private party. Avery never questioned why he was going to all this trouble for his brother’s team when he’d never done it for his own team, but he could tell by her expression, it was killing her not to ask. He’d be doing some explaining later tonight, but for now, he enjoyed a reprieve.

Isaac sipped a Coke and watched as Tanner’s teammates spilled into the large room. Isaac kept his distance, watchful and waiting for his brother to make the next move.

He’d sensed a crack in Tanner’s Kevlar armor, one he’d exploit if necessary. Isaac knew Tanner’s biggest weakness—an insane need for people to like him. While Isaac had pretended he didn’t need anyone, especially after the accident, Tanner needed everyone’s approval, even their asshole father’s. Isaac had understood that need when they were kids, but he sure as hell didn’t get it now. Made no sense to him, but obviously to his middle brother, it made perfect sense. Isaac had Avery, and she’d healed his broken pieces more than she’d ever know. Now Tanner had Emma, and Isaac hoped to hell she’d do the same for Tanner.