Blind Side Of Love (34 page)

"Then why didn't you? Why did you make me feel like I did something wrong?! Why did you make me run off and sleep with someone I hated so badly that I needed to go out and try and kill myself to forget what I had done?" I tried to catch my breath in between my sobs.

"Becca, what are you-?" He stopped himself as if he finally got what I was saying. "Why?"

"Because all I wanted to do was hurt you the same way you had hurt me. I wanted the memory of you gone!"

"Becca, I am so sorry." He placed his hand on my face and I smacked it away.

"Don't touch me ever again! You lied to me now, the same way that you lied to me back then. Everything I thought we had was a lie and I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for it again! I hate you and I will never ever forgive you for doing this to me again! How dare you use my blindness to your advantage!?”

“Becca, please don’t do this! Why the fuck can’t you see how much I love you? I never stopped loving you. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of losing you again.”

“So you just strung me along again and made me feel like I had something special that would make you actually fall in love with a blind girl when the whole time it was just your guilt over what you did to me?”

“I swear to God that’s not true. You are special; you always were and you always will be. Don’t you see I don’t give a fuck that you’re blind? To me you are still that same girl that made me fall in love with her all those years ago.”

I couldn’t listen to it anymore. My heart couldn’t handle it. “Leave now!” I shouted.

“Becca.”

I pulled my legs up onto the couch and wrapped my arms around them. I buried my head into my knees, completely ignoring him, finally letting out the loud sob I was holding back once I heard the door close. My head was spinning. Was I really that clueless? The smell of his cologne, the way he knew exactly how I took my coffee and my love of sunsets. Why did I choose to ignore all of those signs? I knew the answer to that better than anyone. For the first time since my accident, I had been happy and I knew that admitting to what my extra sense was telling me would take that happiness away, so I chose to ignore it. Yes, he lied to me, but I was partly to blame as well for disregarding that little voice deep inside of me. Then there was Krista… Why didn’t she tell me who was really in that picture when I showed it to her yesterday? Lilly jumped up on the couch and whimpered. Her cold nose touched my face and she nuzzled into me, trying her best to comfort me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on top of her head.

“Oh Lilly, you are the only one I can trust.” I buried my face into her, letting it all out. Her fur was soaked in tears, but she didn’t seem to mind. She stayed by my side the entire night—just like any true friend would do.

Mason

It had been three days since Becca found out, and it was killing me not seeing her and not talking to her. I missed her so much and I just wished that she understood
why
I did what I did. But I knew I hurt her bad and in her mind it was unforgivable. I had been fooling myself the same way that I had been fooling her by actually thinking that maybe she would have been able to overlook it and move on.

“What’s going on with you? You look like shit!” Liz asked when I walked into her office.

“I told her.”

Her jaw dropped and an honest to goodness look of concern washed over her face. “Oh no. That bad?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yup, she hates me.”

“Well, did you try and explain yourself?”

I ran my hand through my hair and looked out her office window. “Yeah. She didn’t want to hear it. Can’t say I blame her.” I turned around and faced her once again. “Just don’t say ‘I told you so’.”

She sighed heavily. “I won’t. Well, maybe she’ll come around once she has some time to digest it all. I mean, she fell in love with you once and it seems as if she was beginning to fall in love with you again, that has to account for something.”

“I seriously doubt it. You didn’t see the look on her face when I told her.”

“What made you decide to finally come clean?”

“This whole promotion thing. I was so up in the air about what I wanted to do and I was hoping that Becca would help me make that final choice. Guess she did now; it just wasn’t the choice that I was hoping it would be.”

“Well, you still have a few more days to ponder that. Don’t give your answer until the last possible second.” She stood up and walked over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. “I have to run. I’ll be around later tonight if you need to talk.”

I nodded and watched her walk out the door. I remained seated and my mind wondered once again to her friend Krista and why she wouldn’t have jumped on the opportunity to tell Becca who was in that picture. It wasn’t as if she exactly liked me—far from it. I stared off into space and was immediately brought back to that day that I found out exactly what a bitch that girl really was:

We had just finished up kayaking as I sat around, trying my hardest to seem interested in Ashton's juvenile conversation. Krista was making a complete spectacle of herself, hanging all over Ashton. I couldn't believe that she and Becca were best friends.They were complete opposites.  

"So, where's Becca?" Krista asked in a very condescending manner.

"I guess she's home," I replied. She rolled her eyes. "And she's allowing you out without her?" Ashton gave her a high five and they both began to laugh. This girl was a total bitch. Clearly, she wasn't as loyal to Becca as Becca was to her.

"Why wouldn't she?" I snapped back.

"Well, it just seems like the two of you are inseparable. I mean, little Miss Studious is usually so caught up in her school work and her little goody good volunteer work that she doesn't have much time for anyone else. You must be really special or really good at something." She raised her eyebrow and sucked in her bottom lip. I was really hoping that she was acting this way because she was drunk, but something told me that she had some deep seeded jealousy issues with Becca. "She’d better watch out, all this time that she's spending with you may cause her GPA to slip and Daddy won’t be very happy about that!" She and Ashton began to laugh once again.

I couldn't stand there and listen to this jealous little bitch rip Becca apart anymore. "Wow! And you call yourself her friend?"

She narrowed her eyes and took another sip of beer. "Oh I'm sorry, did I upset you?"

"You know, jealously is a terrible thing, Krista."

"Oh damn, guess he told you!" Ashton shouted.

"Whatever! Sorry we can't all be perfect like your precious little Becca!" she shouted as I walked off, not wanting to listen to any more of what she had to say.

I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to Ashton and Troy talk about when their next deal was going down and who it was with. When I was satisfied that I had enough information and could no longer take hanging out with these arrogant assholes, I decided to pack it up. As I made my way to my car, I heard Krista calling my name. I reluctantly turned around, not even wanting to acknowledge her. I remained silent as she approached me, looking all disheveled.  "You know that wasn't cool; the way you dissed me in front of everyone earlier!"

"Yeah and it wasn't cool the way that you were talking about your so called best friend."

"I'm sorry if I offended you by the things I said. But Becca always had everything that I ever wanted. She's pretty, gets good grades, and now she's got a hot guy." She moved closer to me. "I for one happen to know one thing that I am better at than Becca. So, I won't tell if you don't.” In a matter of seconds her arms were wrapped around my neck and her lips were on mine.

“What the fuck!?” I shouted as I pushed her away, but not before Ashton saw what was going on.

“Damn, Drew, save some of these chicks for the rest of us, bro!” Ashton shouted.

“You are trash that doesn’t even deserve a friend like Becca,” I whispered to Krista.

“Oh fuck you! Go home and fuck your little goody two shoes then. She’s probably like having sex with a rock.”

I shook my head and watched her walk away, wrapping her arm around Ashton and throwing her head back and laughing. 

Becca had trusted that girl so much as her friend. The same way she had trusted me. I ran my hand through my hair and let out a deep breath. I was no better than Krista. In fact, I was beginning to feel like I was actually worse.

Becca

“Are you going to be okay?” Linda asked as she helped me take a seat on the couch.

I nodded, still in shock over hearing the words
you’re pregnant
come from my doctor’s mouth. I had been on birth control since I was seventeen. I took them every day, faithfully even when there wasn’t a reason to, except to regulate my cycle. Unbeknownst to me that the migraine medicine my neurologist had switched me to a few months ago would weaken theeffects. I ha
d
thrown up three times at work in the past week
,
had been feeling light headed for the past few days, and all I wanted to do was sleep. As much as I kept telling myself it was just a stomach bug, something else was telling me otherwise, and that something else was confirmed today.  This couldn't be happening. I felt like most days it was a struggle just to take care of myself. How on earth was I going to be able to take care of a baby?

Linda placed her hand on my shoulder. “Becca, if you need anything, you know Steve and I are here for you, Honey.”

Linda and Steve were the best neighbors that I could ask for and I was so grateful to her for being there for me today. The last thing I wanted was to ask my mother to come with me. I felt as if I had overwhelmed her and my father with enough drama after their visit yesterday when I dropped the whole Drew and Mason story on them. My mother was in shock, but my father, surprisingly, didn’t have much to say. I figured that would be the perfect opportunity for him to prove to me that he had been right all along, but instead he just told me how sorry he was to hear it. I, in turn, apologized to him for placing the blame on him all those years for Drew’s departure. My parents were just as baffled as I was by Krista’s behavior that day when she saw the picture. I had called her several times and left messages asking her
why,
but hadn’t received a call back. The knock on my door broke me from my thoughts.

“I’ll get it,” Linda said.

“Hi Becca.” I briefly closed my eyes upon hearing Liz’s voice. I knew she was here to plead Mason’s case and I just couldn’t deal with that right now.

“I’m going to get going, Becca. If you need me, just call,” Linda said.

I nodded as I felt Liz taking the seat next to me on the couch. “Liz, I really got a lot on my mind.”

“Becca, please just hear me out and then I will be on my way.”

I let out an exhausting breath. “Fine.”

“I am not going to make excuses for him because I will be the first one to tell you that it was an asshole move on his part. He knows how I feel about it, but in his defense—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Liz. I don’t! He deceived me not once but twice!”

“And you have every right in the world to be pissed at him for it. But Becca, the first time he had no choice. I pulled up the case that he had been working on back then. You should have seen some of the information that Barrett confessed to the police. That son of a bitch should have been thrown in jail, too. If it weren’t for Mason, you might have been in some foreign sex trade. Simms wanted you as a form of payment for expanding the Barretts’ drug business. Mason knew this and went above and beyond to make sure that didn’t happen.”