Read Blind Side Of Love Online
Authors: Beth Rinyu
Blind Side Of Love (19 page)
It seemed like I had been driving forever, without any destination in mind. I had gone to all of the familiar places that Drew and I had frequented over the summer, feeling like a piece of my heart was being ripped from my chest. Just twenty four hours ago I was in his arms and now it was over, without any explanation as to why. I thought back to Krista’s warning about him. How much did I really know about Drew? Could he have been involved with drugs and stupid little me was just too naïve to see it? Maybe I was blaming my dad for something that he really didn’t do. I wasn’t sure which scenario made me angrier….him having a whole other secret life or him choosing my father’s money over me. Either way, I knew that it was ultimately Drew that I should be angry with. He played me. He made me fall in love with him. He made me believe that he felt the same way and then he left me. Everything that I thought we had was a big sham.
The thick fog seemed to be the only thing on my side tonight. It was blocking out the moon and stars which was another painful reminder of the one person I was trying to forget. I sat in the park alone in the darkness, resting my face against the chain of the swing. A million thoughts were coursing through my mind. I thought of Drew's reaction when I gave him that painting and his odd behavior yesterday after we had made love. I couldn't believe how stupid I was to think he was special. He was the same as every other guy out there. All along I kept convincing myself that he wasn't like Ashton—turns out he was worse. At least Ashton put it out in the open that he was a sleaze. He didn't turn on the charm and make you fall in love with him first. I needed something to dull my pain. Maybe I could stop off at the liquor store and bury my heartache in a bottle of alcohol or maybe I could ask my brother to give me something from his supply. I needed to get the taste of Drew off my lips, the feel of him inside of me out of my body, and most of all, the memory of him from my heart. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. If this was what falling in love and having your heart ripped to shreds felt like, I vowed to never do it again. I got up from the swing and headed back to my car with only one thought in my head. A thought that was more dangerous than alcohol or any drug out there. A thought that I never imagined would cross my mind, but for now it seemed like the only thing that would dull the pain, wash away Drew’s memory, and at the same time, prove that I was no longer the same sweet Becca that everyone made me out to be.
“Well, well, well. To what do I owe this honor?” I stared at Ashton blankly as he opened the front door. “My mom’s not here if that’s who you’re looking for. Her and my dad-” I pushed my way in, taking him totally off guard.
“I didn’t come to see your mother.” He raised his eyebrow and his signature devious grin stretched across his face. “I need you to fuck the memory of him away. I want both him and my father to know that I am no longer their sweet little Becca.” He stood there silently, and if I had to guess, I would say that he was just as shocked as I was over my uncharacteristic behavior. The last thing that I ever thought I would be doing was asking Ashton Barrett to have sex with me. But I needed to feel depraved. I needed to feel as low as I possibly could. I wanted to erase the memory of Drew and at the same time live up to my father’s
stupid girl who couldn’t think for herself
perception that he had of me.
He pushed me up against the wall and ran his hands up and down my body. “I want you to say it, Becca,” he whispered in my ear.
“Say what?”
“That you want me.”
I turned my head and looked away. He grabbed my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. “Say it!”
“I want you, Ashton.”
I felt like a robot, knowing that there were no true feelings in those words. He was just a means to an end. He led me up to his bedroom and his tongue was down my throat in an instant as he lifted my sundress over my head. He laid me down on his bed and removed his shorts and boxers. I closed my eyes when I felt him climb on top of me, running his tongue down my neck and to my breasts. I needed to do this to feel lower than I already was feeling. I needed to do this so I could remove the distinct title that I had given Drew of being my one and only. And most of all, I needed to do this so my Dad could see that he couldn’t control me by taking away everything that I cared for so much. He grabbed a condom from his nightstand and placed it on him. Standing on the side of the bed, he gripped my thighs and roughly pulled me to the edge as he hastily entered me, taking me a little off guard. I closed my eyes, trying to block out what I was doing and who I was doing it with while he relentlessly slammed into me, over and over, letting out a groan every now and then. He was completely into it, clearly only thinking of his own needs, not that I was expecting any gratification out of it other than getting back at my father and Drew. He finally let out one last grunt and hastily removed himself from inside of me. I laid there for a minute staring up at the ceiling, finally coming back to my senses and instantly regretting what I had just done.
“Anytime you need me to help you forget, I’m ready, willing, and able.” He pulled on his shorts and I felt the bile rising up to my throat. I sat up and stared into his piercing blue eyes for what seemed like eternity while he glared back at me.
I jumped upon hearing the knock on his door, quickly grabbing my dress from the floor. “Ashton, what’s Becca’s car –” Mrs. Barrett covered her mouth in shock while I frantically tried pulling my dress over my head. I jumped up from his bed, running down the steps and out the door.
Had I known that Ashton’s eyes would be the last set of eyes that I would ever look into, I would have looked away. If I had known that I would never see a sunset again, I would have taken in every last detail of the beautiful one that I had taken for granted earlier that night. And had I known that one reckless act would change my life forever and take away my power to see, I would have thought twice before I pushed my car to the limit, losing control and crashing into a concrete median. But I needed the adrenaline rush to help me forget what my father had done, that I had just had sex with Ashton, and that Drew was really gone and everything I thought we had was a lie. Maybe I did it to get back at all of them. Maybe I did it to prove that I couldn't always be in control of myself, or maybe I did it because I couldn't fathom a life without Drew in it.
Mason
Six years later…….
After an eight hour flight, three layovers, and two delays I was finally home. Well, what I temporarily considered home. I couldn't wait until the day I could go back to my real home; River Ridge Louisiana, a suburb just outside of New Orleans. But for now New York City would have to do.
“Hey gorgeous girl, did you miss me?”
Liz lifted her head from her desk, greeting me with a huge smile when I walked into the office. Agent Liz Diaz was a co-worker and a very good friend of mine. We had known each other since I had gotten transferred to the New York office, well over three years ago. I knew she always had my back and I trusted her with my life. She was tough as nails and didn’t take shit from anyone. She told you like it was and if you didn’t like her for it, she could care less.
"Well, well, Mason Boudreaux in the flesh. How does it feel to be back to civilization?"
"I’ll tell you once I get a decent cup of coffee and a hot shower."
"You didn't have fun charming those ladies down in South America?"
"Oh yeah, loads.” I rolled my eyes in sarcasm. “Oh, congratulations by the way; I heard you and Natalie are officially engaged."
"Yup, haven’t set a date yet, but soon we will be wife and wife." She laughed. “And you better be there.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied, taking a seat opposite her desk.
"And condolences to you; I heard you and Gina are officially over. You know I never liked her, right?”
“Yeah, I do recall you telling me that
several times
.” Gina and I had been seeing each other for the past two years. She wanted more and I didn't, so she decided to find more with someone else. "It was for the best,” I said.
"It's hard trying to maintain a relationship when you have to spend months at a time being someone else. Oh well, I'm sure it won't be long before you’re smooth talking some other little chick with your sexy southern charm."
"Boudreaux, welcome back, my man!" Matt, another agent, said as he walked into Liz's office, shaking my hand.
"Yeah, hopefully I will be back for a while.”
“Heard about you and Gina—sorry, Man."
"Geez, what, has my love life been the topic of conversation around here for the past six months?"
"Pretty much.” Matt chuckled. “Did you miss us so much that you had to stop in and see us as soon as you got back?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I have to be at the prosecutor’s office at ten. Apparently the Mueller case is
finally
going to the Grand Jury, after five long months of working undercover.”
“Well, let’s just hope that he gets put away for a very long time after all your hard work,” Liz said.
I leaned my head back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how long I would be able to continue being myself before I was sent off on my next case and forced into a whole new way of life. I loved the excitement that this job brought, but sometimes it was nice just to be me and bask in the calmness of my own life and not have to worry about compromising a case by slipping up and saying one wrong thing.
“So Harrison said you’re up for a promotion?” Matt said, breaking me from my daydreaming.
I nodded.
“That would take you out of the field and put you behind a desk. Are you cut out for that?” Liz asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t know, some days I think yes and others, no.”
“Well, you are one of the best damn undercover agents out there, but I get how it could burn you out after doing it for so long,” she said.
“Yeah, it can.” I stared out the window deep in thought before finally looking up at the clock and noticing the time. “Oh shit, I gotta get!”
“Drinks tonight?” Liz asked.
“Yup, text me the time and the place.”
“Sounds good.” She smiled as I got up from the chair and walked out of her office.
I waited for the receptionist to finish up with her phone call. "Can I help you?" she asked with a slight roll of her eyes, seeming bothered by my interruption.
"I'm Agent Boudreaux. I have a ten o'clock appointment with Frank Davis."
Her mood suddenly shifted. "Oh yes! Mr. Davis is expecting you." She picked up the phone to let him know I was here.
"Mason Boudreaux," Frank said, coming out of his office in an instant. "How are you?" he asked, patting me on the back.
"I'm doing good." Frank and I had worked on cases previously. He was one of the best damn prosecutors around, in my opinion. His deep voice was just as intimidating as his six foot five stature, but once you got to know him, he was really a giant teddy bear.
"It's been a while since you and I have worked together," he said.
"Yes, it has."
"Well, I'm glad to see that this one is finally going to the Grand Jury. Let's just hope we have enough for the indictments."
I nodded. "No doubt in my mind that we do."
“I'm actually going to have one of my newer prosecutors sitting in on this one. I'm going to be letting her handle most of this case, so you will be working closely with her.” He led me through a maze of cubicles before stopping and knocking lightly on one of the office doors. "Becca, you have a minute?"
"Yeah, sure."
I was speechless as I stood in the doorway staring into those beautiful blue eyes that I tried so desperately to forget for the past six years. My heart descended to my knees as I tried my hardest to think of what I was going to say to her.
"Becca, I have Agent Mason Boudreaux with me here. He was the undercover on the Mueller case.” She looked past me and smiled. There was no way in hell that she didn't recognize me. She stood up and extended her hand, waiting for me to take it, still staring in the same spot.
“Hi, I’m Becca Keeton. It's very nice to meet you.” I creased my forehead in confusion as I took her warm soft hand in mine. "Just in case Frank didn't tell you, I'm blind."
Blind? What the hell happened to her?
I finally pulled it together and cleared my throat. "It's … it’s nice to meet you, Miss Keeton."
"Please, call me Becca. You're accent? Where are you from?”
I swallowed hard, remembering that when Becca had known me or at least who she thought I was, I had to talk without my accent to keep up my cover. "New Orleans," I responded.
"I like it."
Frank excused himself to take a call, leaving me alone with Becca. I couldn’t stop staring at her as she began to speak. She was just as beautiful as the last time that I had seen her. So many questions were going through my mind. But the main one was
how
? What had caused her to lose her sight?
"So Mueller was basically funneling the money through three different accounts?"
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, realizing that I hadn't heard a word that she had been saying for the past five minutes of our conversation.
"Okay, Agent Boudreaux, let's get the elephant out of the room. Does it bother you working with me because I'm blind?"
"What? No....not at all. I just didn't get much sleep last night, I'm tired."
"Well, sorry. I'll try and keep this short. You don't mind if I record this, do you? It just makes it easier on me when I have to go back and research since I can't....well you know....see." She forced a smile.
"What happened to you?" The words were out before I could even stop them.
"What?"
"I mean, when did you lose your eyesight?"
Pain shot through her eyes and right down to her face. She swallowed hard. "Six years ago. I was in an accident."
"What kind of accident?" I blurted out. I needed to know.
"Boy, you ask a lot of questions! Are you sure you're not a lawyer, too?" she said with a nervous laugh.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. Most people don't like to talk to me about it. You know, they act like it's some kind of disease that they're going to catch if they do." Her eyes shifted and looked like they were staring right into mine. "I was in a car accident. I was.....I was at a really bad point in my life.” I briefly closed my eyes, hoping that bad point she was referring to had nothing to do with me. “But, that’s in the past. Guess we all gotta live with our mistakes. Some of us just make bigger ones than others.”
I stared at her perfectly red lips and was instantly brought back to how it felt to have them pressed up against mine and all over my body. This couldn’t be happening. Becca Keeton, the one and only girl that I ever loved. The girl who plagued my thoughts more times than I cared to remember. The girl that I thought I would never see again couldn’t be sitting right here in front of me…. but she was. I often wondered what would happen if we had ever met up again. Would she hate me for what I had done to her? Would she be able to look past it and understand that my leaving had nothing at all to do with her? Would she be able to fall in love with the real me instead? Never in a million years did I imagine that she would be staring into my eyes, feeling absolutely nothing at all.