Blind Faith (9 page)

He left the house and started walking with no particular destination in mind.
 
There was a lot to think about, a million different avenues he could take
,
but none of them with big flashing neon signs that said,
This Way.
 
Should he let her think he was dating someone else and hope she
would
be jealous enough to admit she was falling in love with him, or would it just reaffirm her belief that she wasn’t worth loving?
 
No, Rose had warned him Serena’s self-esteem was practically non-existent
;
playing mind games wasn’t going to do anything but complicate matters and make her feel even worse about herself.

What then?
 
Tell her the truth?
 
She
would
probably order him out of her life before he got more than two sentences into it.
 
Of course he would have to make a full confession sometime, but not until he was sure she
would
listen to the whole thing first.
 
So how did he reach her?
 
How could he get past that concrete wall around her heart if she rebuilt it as quickly as he tore it down?
 
It was frustrating as hell
,
and for the life of him, Will couldn’t figure out a way to get through to her.
 
He hated to admit defeat but what he needed was a woman’s perspective.
 

Will crossed the street and headed east, picking up the pace the closer he got to her house.
 
Now that he’d made the decision to ask for help, he was anxious to get there and soak up whatever words of wisdom she could offer.
 
Twenty minutes later he was standing on her porch with his he finger hovering over the buzzer when the door swung open.

“Will?”
 
McKinley pushed the screen door open, a broad smile on her face.
 
“I knew you would feel bad about our little row, but I never dreamed you
would
want to kiss and make up so soon.”

Caught off guard, it took Will a minute to assimilate the fact that not only was McKinley here, but that she’d slipped back into the role of sex kitten and was about two seconds away from plastering herself against him.
 
He stepped backwards just as she reached for him and was immensely glad he
had
done so when Rose appeared in the doorway behind her.
 
His relief was short lived.
 
Undaunted by his evasive maneuver and with a live audience to perform for, McKinley swiftly closed the distance between them and slipped her arms around his waist.

“What did I tell you,” she said to Rose, though she was gazing up at him with feigned adoration.
 
“We’ve barely been apart for an hour and already Will has managed to track me down.”

“So I see.”
 
Rose greeted him with a warm smile.
 
“It’s nice to see you again, Will.
 
McKinley was just telling me how she’d run into you while visiting Serena and that the two of you really hit it off.”

McKinley’s eyes dared him to deny it.
 
“Instant fireworks, wouldn’t you say?”

“Something like that,” he muttered.
 
Sparks had certainly been flying, just not the type she was eluding to.
 

“Shall I leave you two love birds alone or are you coming inside?”
 
Rose was holding the screen door open, apparently oblivious to his lack of enthusiasm at having her niece suctioned to him like a limpet.
 

Will started to deny there was anything going on between him and McKinley when it struck him that Rose’s casual acceptance of their supposedly budding romance seemed extremely odd.
 
His gaze briefly met hers before McKinley’s clinging vine routine demanded his attention, but it was enough to discern the almost imperceptible shake of Rose’s head and the undeniable amusement in her eyes.
 
Unbelievable; the woman was actually enjoying this!

“I have some things to discuss with Rose,” he said, gently but firmly prying McKinley’s arms from around his waist.

McKinley looked genuinely surprised.
 
“
With Rose?
 
You mean you didn’t come here looking for me?”

“Well, I…”
 
From behind her, the shaking of Rose’s head became more pronounced.
 
“I knew she
would
have your number,” he finished lamely, “but I have other things to discuss with her as well.”

“I’ll wait for you then,” McKinley replied with a tight smile.

“Oh
,
dear,” Rose jumped in.
 
“This is about the repairs to the roof, isn’t it?”
 
The sympathetic look she turned on McKinley was almost as impressive as the story she wove to explain why he was there.
 
“I’m sorry to hone in on your time with Will but I completely forgot I asked him to stop by and help me go over the estimates I received for the roof.
 
It was damaged during that last storm and it seems squirrels have found their way into the attic.
 
You know how sensitive Serena’s hearing is; the sound of them scurrying around up there is disturbing her sleep and I promised
to
get the repairs done right away.”

“The hole needs to be fixed before they cause any more damage,” Will added when McKinley didn’t look convinced.
 

“I really am sorry,” Rose apologized, “but I’m going to be out of town for a few days, and with Will’s studies keeping him so busy, this is the only time we’ll have to get it done.
 
If it’s not too late when we finish, maybe you two can get together afterwards?”

Will could have throttled her for making the suggestion but it
did
seem to appease McKinley.
 
He wasn’t sure why Rose was trying to keep him from saying anything that would dispel the illusion he was interested in McKinley but trusted she had a good reason.
 
With both of them staring at him expectantly, Will had no choice but to play along.
 
Forcing a smile wasn’t nearly as difficult as sounding sincere when he told McKinley he
would
call her when he was done.
 
He even handed over his cell phone so she could enter her phone number,
al
t
hough he was careful not to volunteer his own number.

“All right,” she reluctantly agreed, “but I’m holding you to your promise.
 
Don’t keep him too long, Aunt Rose.
 
Will and I didn’t get to finish our conversation earlier and we left some things hanging in the air that he
is
obviously as anxious to clear up as I am.”

Will groaned inwardly.
 
He was getting in deeper and deeper with each passing minute, and right now the only thing he was anxious to do was get rid of McKinley so he could find out what she’d said to her aunt to make Rose act so peculiar.
 
He was even more perplexed by Rose’s insistence that he walk McKinley to her car but he was also thoroughly annoyed by it; a feeling that was exacerbated when McKinley slipped her hand into his as they headed down the walkway.

“I’m glad you changed your mind about us,” she said when they got to her car.
 
“And there’s no need to apologize for the awful things you said to me; the fact that you were going to ask Rose how to reach me is proof you felt bad about it.”

“McKinley…”

“Honestly, it’s okay.
 
I forgave you the moment I opened the door and saw you standing there.
 
Look, Will, I know you feel sorry for Serena and want to help her get over what happened.
 
I pity the poor thing too, and if there was anything I could do to make it all go away, I would.
 
But denying the attraction you and I feel for each other isn’t going to do anything but cause us both to resent her.”

Will’s brows drew together.
 
“You think I moved in with Serena because I feel
sorry
for her?”

“Don’t misunderstand me; I don’t think any less of you for it.
 
We all feel sorry for her, and it’s incredibly noble of you to put your own life on hold for her sake
,
but she needs to realize that the people around her aren’t going to avoid getting into a relationship just because she’s terrified to take that step herself.”

The woman was certifiably nuts if that’s what she truly believed, but Will had a sneaking suspicion there was a lot more going on in her head than the delusion he was secretly
carrying a torch for her.
 
Oh, he had no doubt McKinley thought he wanted to sleep with her because she
had
probably never met a man who
didn’t
lust after her sexy little body.
 
He thought it entirely possible it was beyond her realm of comprehension that any
 
male could resist
her
once she targeted him with her seductive charms, but Will had been immune to her even when his teenage hormones were running rampant.
 
He had no desire to be with her then and was even more repulsed now by the idea of going to bed with a woman who had more partners by the time she was seventeen than he’d had in his entire life.

“We can talk about this later,” he told her.
 
“I don’t want to keep Rose waiting and it’s a good thirty minute walk back to the house so I better get to it or it will be too late to call you.”

“You
walked
here?”

“I needed some time to think,” he shrugged.

“About us?”

It was all he could do to keep the grimace off his face.
 
“You do have a way of invading a man’s thoughts,” Will answered truthfully.

“I’m happy to hear that.
 
I guess I should let you go…” she let her voice trail off as she leaned into him, clearly expecting a kiss good-bye.

His intention of leaving one small, chaste kiss on her cheek was quickly overthrown when McKinley locked her arms around his neck just as he lowered his head.
 
He supposed the slow, seductive kiss she laid on him was meant to drive out every thought in his head, and in a way she was nearly successful but for one small memory that kept dancing around and around.
 
For some insane reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about the laughter in Serena’s voice when she’d said,
“So you’re saying that your reputation as a fantastic kisser began with kiss-and-tell-Mel?”

“Always leave them smiling and wanting more,” McKinley laughed as she pulled away from him and got into her car.

It wasn’t until after she had driven away that he realized he was standing there with a silly grin pasted on his face.
 
He could only imagine how furious she would have been to learn it was the thought of Serena evoking the love-sick expression he was sporting and not McKinley’s amorous kiss.
 
Turning back towards the house, Will’s mood instantly shifted when he saw Rose cross her arms and skewer him with a reproachful stare.
 
Oh,
hell no
, he was
not
going to let her subject him to a lecture about kissing McKinley after the way she
had
offered him up as a sacrifice.

“We need to talk,” Rose said with a definite edge to her voice.

“Damn right we do,” he shot back, ignoring the look of astonishment on her face as he strode past her and went inside.

Rose had the good sense to look contrite after Will finally stopped ranting.
 
“All right, maybe I did take it a little too far by urging you to walk McKinley to her car…”

“
Maybe?
 
Rose, she was all over me on the porch.
 
Did you honestly think she was going to be satisfied with a handshake once she got me alone?”

“I’m sorry, but I had to do something before she questioned why I needed your help choosing a roofer.
 
She may be rotten to the core, but that niece of mine is sharp and I couldn’t take the chance she
would
figure out there is more going on here than meets the eye.”

“So you throw me under the bus?”

“I didn’t exactly throw you under the bus,” she said, plucking a piece of imaginary lint off the sofa cushion.
 
“I figured you
would
volunteer to crawl under there yourself after I told you what McKinley said about your…mutual attraction to each other.”

“Which you knew was a lie the moment the words left her mouth,” Will said with an accusatory glare.
 
He had been pacing back and forth ever since she joined him in the living room, but it only seemed to increase his level of anxiety so he sat down in the easy chair beside the sofa.
 
“I’m sorry for getting so worked up.
 
We need to pull together on this and come up with a course of action before McKinley destroys everything.”

“I agree, but until we know what she
is
up to
,
I’m not sure what we can do to stop her.”

“I think I can shed a little light on that one.
 
She doesn’t like it that I live with Serena.
 
She said my being there would stir up memories and cause Serena to have a break down.”

“Do you
honestly
believe she doesn’t want you there because she’s concerned about Serena?”

“Do you?”

“No, of course not.
 
McKinley loves Serena in her own way but she would never put her sister’s needs…or desires above her own.
 
I knew she was up to something when she came here tonight and tried to convince me that you were irresistibly drawn to each other
,
but I didn’t dare let on I knew she was making the whole thing up.”

“Any idea why she’s trying to drive a wedge between me and Serena or why she
would
high tail it over here to involve you in her fairy tales?”

“Isn’t it obvious?
 
She wants you, Will, and she’s going to get you by hook or by crook.”

Will shook his head.
 
“No, it runs deeper than that, I’m sure of it.
 
She deliberately waited until Serena was there to bring up the night her boyfriend caught us kissing, and I think she did it to test the waters…to see how close Serena and I had gotten.”

“Why would that matter?
 
If she doesn’t want you for herself, why would she care if there was anything between you and Serena?”

“I’m not sure, but she seemed overly concerned about Serena remembering what happened the night she was attacked.”

The color drained from Rose’s face.
 
“You don’t think McKinley had anything to do with that, do you?”

“I don’t see how she could
,
but I can’t think of any other reason why she wouldn’t want Serena to remember.
 
Assuming McKinley has something to hide about that night, it would explain why she tried to destroy Serena’s trust in me.”

“It would explain why she came here too,” Rose nodded thoughtfully.
 
“She knows how close Serena and I have always been; naturally, she
would
presume if Serena was going to confide in anyone, it would be me.”

“So McKinley was trying to get a rise out of you by saying I was dying to jump in the sack with her.
 
If you had acted the least bit upset, it would have proved you either
knew
there was more than just a friendship between Serena and me or that you hoped there was.
 
Smart move on your part to act like you believed McKinley’s story, even if you did go overboard by suggesting we get together when I’m done here.”

“It was your penance for almost blowing it when you unlatched her tentacles and made sure there was a good two feet of space between you,” Rose admonished.
 
“At any rate, I think I managed to throw her off the trail
,
but you were the one who cinched it by kissing her.”

“I did
not
kiss her,” Will replied stiffly, “s
he
kissed
me.”

Rose arched a brow.
 
“You didn’t seem too put off by it.
 
As a matter of fact, you looked as if you enjoyed it.”

“Because I was thinking of Serena.”

Rose’s face lit up.
 
“Are you telling me you’ve actually kissed Serena?”

“No, so don’t go breaking out the champagne.”

“What are you waiting for?”

Will hoped he didn’t sound as miserable as he felt.
 
“I
have
been asking myself that same question for quite some time now, Rose, and I still don’t know the answer.”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                      
***

It is
not
the
end of the world, Serena told herself, even though it felt as if it was.
 
Will and McKinley had left hours ago and every minute he’d been gone was more agonizing than the last.
 
She had visions of them dining together; imagined them laughing and flirting their way through the meal then going back to McKinley’s house where they would fall into each other’s arms, unable to resist the attraction that had grown stronger throughout the evening.
 
Her stomach twisted into knots when she thought of them kissing, but she refused to let her mind torture her with what had undoubtedly followed.

God,
how spineless
she was; pushing Will away because she was afraid of the feelings he stirred inside of her.
 
She’d heard the disappointment in his voice when she told him to go with McKinley,
and
yet she let him leave anyway.
 
Even worse, she made him believe she
wanted
him to pursue a relationship with her sister.
 
Given the choice between a frigid blind woman and a sexually uninhibited bomb shell, what had she expected him to do?
 
What would
any
man do under the same circumstances?

Serena let out an unhappy sigh as she climbed into bed.
 
Somehow
,
she had to find a way to conquer the past, only then would she be free to offer Will the love she so desperately wanted to give him.
 
Or was it already too late?
 
If he didn’t come home tonight, she would know the answer.
 
If he didn’t come home tonight
…Serena buried her face in her pillow in a futile attempt to drown out her own thoughts.
 
The last thing she remembered before exhaustion overtook her was the soft whimper from Rufus as he flopped his head over the side of the mattress.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                        
***

“Hold her down, she’s getting a little squirrely.”

“Maybe she needs a drink to help loosen her up a bit.
 
Hey, someone pass me a beer, will ya?”

Oh God, oh God, oh God, what were they doing to her?
 
She opened her mouth to scream but the only noise that came out was a gurgling sound as something cold and bitter was poured down her throat.
 
Drowning.
 
She was drowning!
 
Coughing and sputtering, she jerked her head to the side, unaware that her dress had been pushed up to her waist until she was shocked by the feel of bare skin against her exposed flesh.

“Come on guys, help me out here.
 
Hold her arms and legs so I can get her damn panties off.”

“She’s fighting awful hard, Randy
.  M
aybe we shouldn’t…”

“Of course she’s fighting, it’s part of the game.
 
Her sister does the same the thing; fights like a wild cat then purrs the moment you stick it to her.
 
We all know what a slut McKinley is, and little sister here learned from the best.
 
Now shut up and hold her down while I…”

Pain speared through her; sharp, stabbing, excruciating pain that grew more intense with each wild thrust of his hips.
 
Why was he doing this to her?
 
It hurt.
 
Oh God, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt.
 

“That’s it baby, we’re almost…there…”

The air was forced from her lungs when he fell over her, panting and groaning and reeking of beer.
 
He rolled away from her and there was a moment of relief as the throbbing pain began to ease and she was able to drag in much needed oxygen.
 
Then to her horror another boy took his place, shoving into her so hard she felt her muscles tear and the heat of her own blood, his grunts drowning out the sound of her strangled sobs.
 
She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sight of his contorted features and the faces of the others who hovered over her, egging him
on
.
 
The sound of her heartbeat thundered in
her
ears
,
but she could still hear them laughing, taunting, hooping as yet another of them took his turn.

“Whoever lasts the longest gets to take her to the prom,” one of them shouted above the din.

She sank into the darkness, let it envelope her, let it erase the memory of their faces and the terrible things they were doing to her.
 
When it was finally over and they let go of her arms and legs, she didn’t move for fear it would draw their attention and they
would
hurt her again.
 
For several minutes there was nothing but the sound of scuffling feet and a few hushed remarks about removing evidence
as they collected their beer cans.  T
hen one of them leaned over her and croaked out that he thought she was dead.
 
Maybe she was.
 
She hoped she was.

“She’s not dead, you moron, she just passed out from the euphoria of being nailed by half the defensive line.”

“Yeah, right.
 
So who won the honor of taking her to the prom?”

“That would be me,” someone replied as he nudged her with his foot, “but I sure as hell ain’t taking this little whore.”

Drunken laughter followed but she still didn’t move or make a sound, not even when the one leaning over her gently brushed the tangled hair from her face and whispered in her ear that he was sorry.
 
She lay there long after they
had
gone, too numb to feel anything but a heavy sadness for what they’d taken from her.
 
How could she face her parents, her brothers, McKinley, her friends?
 
And Will…how could she bear to look into those dark eyes and see the loathing and condemnation for what had happened?
 
She
couldn’t do it.
 
No, her only option was to stay where she was, in the blessed darkness where no one could see her and she couldn’t see them.
 
The darkness would protect her.