Blind Ambition (11 page)

Plus, the man he was three years ago would have been intimidated as hell by Alexa’s money. Still was, if he were honest, but it didn’t matter this time. She was a client, not a lover. Even if he did find himself way too distracted by her slim curves, her lips, her…everything.

“Or maybe you didn’t think we were good together. At least not with our clothes on,” he said. “In which case you don’t need all of these excuses. It’s okay to say I wasn’t right for you. Knowing what I know now, I’m sure it’s true.”

“It wasn’t you,” she whispered. “Our careers would have kept us apart most of the year, and I—”

“And you weren’t willing to work for it. Which means it was me.” He glanced behind him to see if he’d made any progress with his bindings. “I don’t know why you’re trying so hard to make me feel better. Have I made you think I won’t do my best to protect you because of our history?”

“No. It’s just that we’re stuck in here, and I don’t know the rebels’ plans for us, and if anything happened… I just want you to know that it wasn’t you.”

“The old ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech. Makes it easier for everyone, right?” He got it now. She was scared and she thought he was going to die. And caring woman that she was, she’d rather have him die thinking she’d loved him once. Either that or she wanted to ease her own guilt.

“Dan? Shut. Up.”

His head snapped up.

“Stop talking and just
listen
.” She leaned forward, at the end of her chain. “God, I used to have to pry the words out of you, but today you won’t even let me finish a freaking sentence.”

He kept his mouth shut, chagrined to realize that she was right. Maybe he didn’t want to hear her reasons.

Settling back on her heels, she took a deep breath and cast her gaze down. “The days I had with you were some of the best of my life.” She looked up, maybe to gauge his reaction. If she expected skepticism, she was right on the money.

He bit his tongue and let her continue.

“I never planned to get involved with anyone while on the job, but I couldn’t say no to you. I didn’t want to. And I figured a guy like you, always on the go, wasn’t looking for anything serious. Just a good time. I could live with that because that’s all I had to offer too.”

He’d thought the same way in the beginning, but after a few days he would have done anything for more time with her.

“I was hoping we could let things end naturally when you left, but then you started talking about getting together after St. Isidore. I never wanted to have that conversation. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

And she never needed to know how much she had. He shrugged as much as possible while chained to a wall. “I thought we were good together and it would be fun to see you again. I wasn’t asking you to marry me, Lys.”

But he would have eventually. She was the first woman—the only woman—who’d made him want more from life than his mission and his team.

“No,” she said quickly. “I know that. But we got along so well that it seemed dangerous to continue.”

He shook his head. “Maybe I’m slow, but if everything was so great between us, why would you want to call it quits?”

She pinned him with a look that made it hard to breathe. “Because if I was with you, I’d eventually want to stay, and I can’t do that. My work is my life.”

Which still meant that it was him. He knew, because he’d been in her shoes before. He also knew that the right man would change her mind, just as she’d begun to change his back then. He hadn’t been ready to up and quit the Air Force, but he’d been rethinking what he’d do at the end of his service commitment.

Turned out he quit anyway, but not for the reasons he would have liked.

“What about Flore? You can’t adopt her and then jet all over the world once you have a child at home.”

She nodded. “I know. Giving her a good life, keeping her healthy. That would be my new priority. I’d have to continue my work through my foundation.”

“And there’s no room for a man in that life,” he said, feeling some perverse need to force her to see the flaw in her arguments. Why couldn’t she just admit he wasn’t enough for her and leave it at that?

“No. I…” she said, her voice full of anguish. “She should have my full attention.”

He still didn’t get it. Or why he couldn’t let it go. “Why are you so damned determined to sacrifice yourself?”

“It’s not like that.”

“
Why?
” he pressed.

“Because I don’t deserve more!”

Dan gaped as his heart did a slow roll in his chest. That was the most honest thing she’d said during their entire conversation, but her words didn’t make sense.

Her eyes widened at her confession and she turned away, leaning her forehead against the wall.

“Lys.” He tugged against his chains, desperate to put his arms around her.

“I didn’t save my sister,” she said, her anguished voice muffled against the cement block. “I was too late.”

He was still processing her confession when something clanged against the door. The lock clicked and light flooded the cell as the door swung inward on squeaky hinges.

Petitt stood in the doorway and looked them both over. Then he glanced at the guard behind him and waved toward Alexa. “Bring her out.”

ALEXA’S BODY SHOOK AS THE guard removed the shackles from her wrists and ankles. She glanced across the room at Dan and found him straining against his bonds, his muscles rippling as he glared daggers at Nillin.

A minute ago she had been mortified about baring her soul to him. She had nearly spilled it all. Now she feared she would never see him again. Had her dad paid the ransom, or had he refused? Would Nillin kill her? And even if he let her go, what about Dan?

Her heart beat double-time as the guard pulled her to her feet. She looked over her shoulder and caught Dan’s gaze, opened her mouth to say…something, but Nillin grabbed her upper arm and yanked her down several steps to the ground. Behind her, the heavy metal door banged shut with a thundering
clang
, like the door on a bank vault. Or a crypt.

She shook her head and forced herself to focus on her surroundings. They could be anywhere on the island. Except that St. Isidore’s tallest peak—Montagne de St. Pierre—appeared far away. Based on its location relative to her, Dan was right about where they’d been taken. They were definitely at the northern tip of the island.

Her captor dragged her along, not stopping even when she stumbled. Her partially numb legs stung as if attacked by needles as blood rushed back into her limbs, but she pushed aside the pain and took in as much as she could.

They were on the edge of a run-down resort. Colorful multi-unit buildings peppered the sloping ground that led to a beach with brown sugar sand. A small cove protected a stretch of shoreline, but several of the buildings and the surrounding foliage had clearly taken a hit during the hurricane.

Red tiles lay broken at the base of the villas as they passed a red one and a turquoise one. They finally stopped in front of a bright orange building with three units fronted by louvered windows with broken panes of glass.

Her chest tightened. She was suddenly acutely aware of her state of undress. What were they going to do to her? She thought of escape, but there were too many men around right now. It would be a suicide attempt at best.

Then, from behind the middle door, a child cried out. She strained onto her toes for a glimpse through a window, but saw nothing. Could the orphans be here? A small seed of hope blossomed.

One of Nillin’s men handed him a white shirt, which he gave to her. “Put it on.”

The asshole couldn’t have given it to her before parading her through the camp? As nice as it would have been to get her regular clothes back, she was just grateful to be able to cover up, even if the shirt had a v-neck and was nearly see-through. At least it came down to her knees.

Apparently satisfied, Nillin opened the door and pushed her into the dim space. “You said the girl needs help.” He produced a box of medical supplies, probably stolen from her own clinic. “Go take care of her. You have fifteen minutes.”

Flore!
She entered and immediately encountered Carter, the two-year-old boy she’d heard through the door. He stood next to a bamboo armchair sobbing. She kneeled and hugged him close. “Carter, honey. Are you okay?”

His little arms gripped her neck so tightly she almost choked, but she hugged him back. “M’lyssa, I bump,” he said, pulling back and pointing to his head.

She didn’t dare glance at her guards. “Let me see.” She balanced him on her knee and smoothed back his dark, curly hair to reveal a faint red mark. “It’s small. You’ll be fine.” Then she kissed him on the forehead and set him down.

He hiccuped and smiled.

Her heart nearly cracked. She’d been so worried about the children, and now, seeing them here, she could hardly contain her joy. And her fear.

She stood and surveyed the room, her eyes having finally adjusted to the low light after coming in from the sun. The other three toddlers lay on their backs on one bed, and the three infants were huddled together in the center of the other mattress. All of the children looked tired and undernourished, but she didn’t see any obvious bruises or injuries.

Finally she found Flore. The girl sat at the foot of one of the twin beds, her head resting on her knees, her eyes closed. Alexa had to resist the urge to run to her. As she approached the bed, the children lay still, watching her with tired eyes. They appeared drugged. Her hands squeezed into fists. She’d spent the last decade trying to save people, but the urge to hurt the men who caused such anguish and suffering nearly overwhelmed her.

How dare they terrorize these precious babies?

Only through force of will did she reach the bed and kneel before the daughter of her heart. She wanted to wrap Flore in her arms and spirit her—and all of the kids—far away from this hell. Her throat tightened and she closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure. She would not infect the girl with her anguish.

“Flore?” Alexa smoothed back her curly hair and studied her too-thin face.

She opened her eyes and gave a weak smile, then coughed. “Miss Alyssa,” she whispered, her voice tight. “I knew you’d find us.”

God, the confidence of youth. Alexa blinked back her tears and returned the smile, giving Flore a gentle—and far too short—hug. “I’d never stop looking.” She opened the box of supplies Nillin had given her and sat on her knees on the hard ceramic tile, rummaging until she found an inhaler. “Are you having trouble breathing?”

The girl nodded, her wheezing breaths echoing in the nearly silent room.

Alexa’s own chest seized. She shook the rescue inhaler, then removed the protective cap and handed it to the girl. Once Flore had gone through the ritual of breathing out, inhaling the mist, and holding her breath—twice—they sat hand-in-hand until her body relaxed and her breaths quieted.

“Feeling better?”

She nodded.

“Good.” Alexa gave her a quick squeeze and pressed the inhaler into Flore’s palm. “Keep it in your pocket for the next time you need it.”

Flore’s eyebrows came together. “You’re not staying?”

It was all Alexa could do not to break down right there. She glanced back at Nillin and pitched her voice low enough that it wouldn’t carry across the room. “I can’t, but I’ll try to come back.” She took a slow breath. “Are they treating you all right?”

“They point their big guns at us,” Flore said, nearly whispering as she picked up on Alexa’s change in volume, “but they don’t hit.”

Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it was something.

“Do you know where they are taking us tomorrow?” Flore asked.

Alexa’s brain went on alert. “What do you mean?”

“One of the guards said a plane was coming for us in the morning.” Flore’s pallor and breathing had improved, but she frowned. “Where are we going?”

Her throat tight, Alexa shook her head. “I don’t know, but I’ll try to find out, okay?”

“Five minutes,” Nillin called out.

“
No.
” Flore sobbed.

“Stay strong, sweetie.”Alexa wanted to promise that she would get them out of here, that she would come back for her, but she wouldn’t make a promise she couldn’t keep. She wouldn’t do that to the girl or herself. Alexa gave her a gentle hug. “I love you.”

Flore sniffed and wiped her eyes, but nodded. “I love you too.”

Alexa stood and turned away before she lost it. How would she live with herself if she didn’t save Flore and the others?

But she couldn’t dwell on that now. Both for her sanity and because she had work to do. Moving quickly, she tended to each of the other seven children. “Did you give them something? A sedative?” she asked Nillin, hoping her voice didn’t betray her anger. She needed the man’s cooperation to continue.

“No,” he said. “They are only tired and scared.”

Oh, just tired and scared? Well, then. She felt one boy’s cheek. Despite the sticky heat, his skin was cool and dry, and his eyes looked slightly sunken. Several of the others had similar symptoms. “It’s more than that. They’re dehydrated.”

He didn’t give commands to any of his men, or appear worried, so she appealed to his bottom line and kept her voice low so the older kids wouldn’t overhear. “Some of their symptoms are severe. If they don’t get the right fluids soon, you won’t have any children left alive to sell.”

Nillin hesitated before asking, “What do you need?”

Dan was going out of his mind in the tiny cell. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so fucking helpless or the last time he’d been so wound up during an op. He was usually known for his calm even under fire. But then he’d never been protecting Alexa before.

Why had they taken her?

He focused on his breathing and tried to erase all of the horrible answers his mind conjured. Maybe her father had come through with the ransom and they were making the exchange right now.
Please let that be it.

A growl escaped from deep within his chest. Would he ever see her again?

Despite everything, he wanted to. He at least needed to make sure she was safe. Which meant he needed to get the hell out of here. To that end, he forced himself to sit back and take slow, deep breaths as he studied the spot where Alexa had been chained.