BLIND: A Mastermind Novel (51 page)

Throwing a hand through his hair, he dropped into the chair
.
“I didn’t know what I was doing. At first, yes, it crossed my mind, but then I actually got to know you and realized high school wasn’t a picnic for you either. I thought…
”
His hand brushed over his head again. “I thought I could help you, thought we could maybe help each other. If I could get you to see the good in me maybe I could see it in myself.”

She did see the good in him. “Then why did you end things?”

He looked away. “Because you loved someone else.”

“I loved
you
.”

“You loved Mr. Stone.”

“Yes.”

He seemed to want to say more but hesitated.
“
I do
n’
t want to be someone else. I could
n’
t bare the thought of disappointment flashing in your eyes the first time you saw me.
I’
ve seen it before, Scarlet. It hurts
.
”

“
You never gave me a chance
.
”

He held out his hands
.“
This is me
.”
Shaking his head, he said
,“
All I see in your eyes is hurt and anger. I put that there
.”
Glancing to the far wall, he rasped
,“
I never meant to hurt you
.
”

H
e’
d first been attracted to the idea of her, some girl she could
n’
t recognize as herself. What difference did it make if Mr. Stone was who first attracted her? At the end of the day it was this man sitting in front of her that she loved.
“
And this is me
.
Who do you love, Asher? Because I’m not perfect and I’m not some teenager. I’m just me. Do you see
me
?”

His head turned and he met her gaze, truly looked into her eyes, and the effect was potent. He was beautiful.

“I love
you
, Scarlet. I’ve always loved you on some level, but my feelings then were nothing compared to what they are now. I know you’re not perfect. Being so only makes me love you more.”

She drew in a slow, jagged breath. “And when you touched
me,
did you mean it? I didn’t fall in love with a name. I fell in love with a man who made me quiver with only a caress, or a command. I fell in love with the man who managed to make me feel alive, the man who cherished me, and missed me when I was gone. I could live without ever saying the name Mr. Stone again, but I don’t know if I can live without the man who made me feel all those things.”

His face pinched with tension. “I meant every single moment.”

“And the things you said?” She held her breath, still unable to believe someone could see all those wonderful things in her.

“I meant every word. But Scarlet, I also meant the things I said on our last night.” His hand pressed to his chest. “I never wanted to need something the way I need you. This pain…I never expected it. I have no idea how to handle the constant worry that you’re all right or the unending desire to simply be by you. I just wanted to protect you, and the truth is I never could.”

“I never asked for protection.”

“But it’s what a her
o’
s supposed to do, Scarlet. A good man protects the woman he loves.”

“And he let’s his woman do the same. You never even gave me the chance to show you how much I cared, to prove how much I worried about your wellbeing too.”

“I was going to, but then…” His eyes closed as if seeing a painful memory. “I saw you at the café.”

“What?”

“Westerman was there. I wanted to kill him after the things you told me, but I couldn’t move. I’m a coward.”

“You saw me?”

“Yes, and while I was trying to figure out how to punish him for hurting you, you smiled and acted like you were old friends. Why?”

She swallowed. “Because he scares me too, Asher. I didn’t want a confrontation. I just wanted my coffee. Life’s too short to try to fix the assholes of the world.”

His hand slid directly over his heart. “I thought you gave him your number. I didn’t think you would, but then you wrote something down—”

“I was signing my receipt.”

“I know that now. I was an idiot, but… imagining you choosing someone els
e—
hi
m—
broke my heart.”

“I chose you.”

“Try to understand the life I led, Scarlet. No one ever chose
me
.”

Her vision blurred as she spoke the truth. “Me either.”

His mouth was bracketed with lines of stress. “I chose you. Everything I said came from my heart. At first I wanted to do this so I could prove something to myself, but then I just wanted to see you happy. When I saw you that morning, saw how confidently you handled a situation that left me paralyzed, I realized I gave you some of that confidence.”

“You did. You gave me so much.”

“But I didn’t know how much I had left to offer. I figured cutting ties was the most selfless thing I could do for you, so you could find someone who could be all the things you wanted. I didn’t see it as selfish until I realized how much I misread the situation. Then I tried to call you but it was too late.”

She’d thought it was too late too. Maybe it was. “Do you still feel that way?”

“I know I love you enough to step aside if that’s what you want. I never wanted to hurt you and if the mere sight of me causes you pain, I’ll somehow deal with the mess I made and let you go. These last few weeks I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to do that so you could move on. But despite all the things I know, I don’t know how to live without you.”

Her vision blurred as his words seeped into her broken soul. “Then don’t.”

His head lifted, hope hidden in his eyes as his chest expanded with each breath. “Do you mean that?”

“Asher, if you want me, then fight for me. Do you think I have the slightest clue what I’m doing? Your world is huge compared to mine. I haven’t been in a relationship in
years.
Most nights I’m sitting on my couch, talking to my cat, watching corny sci-fi movies.”

His lips parted as though this shocked him. What did he think? He’d read her letter. She told the world how bleak her life was, how lonely, and hollow. “Stop imagining some cheerleader from grade school and start looking at the woman in front of you. I’ve never hidden myself from you.”

“You like science fiction?”

She frowned. “What?” Was he even listening?

“It’s important, Scarlet. Are you making fun of people who enjoy sci-fi or is it something you honestly enjoy?”

Unbelievable. Shaking her head, she waved her hand and let it drop. “I don’t see how it has anything to do with what we’re discussing, but yes, I actually enjoy them. As a matter of fact, if there was a flight to The Shire, I’d get a one-way ticket and be gone.”

He was silent. She rolled her eyes. Once again, she bared her soul and he just sat there. “I have to go. When you figure out what you want… I don’t know.” She turned and walked away.

At the front door, she blinked back tears as she slid her feet into her shoes. All the words in the world couldn’t push him into action. She’d met him halfway and he left her hanging. If he wanted it fixed he’d have to make a—

Her body was abruptly grabbed and her back flung into the door. His mouth crashed over hers as he swallowed her surprised gasp. His lips pressed hard as his hands dragged up her body and through her hair, a thousand volts of electricity shooting up her spine.

“What are you doing?” she gasped. His hand glided up her thigh and hooked her leg over his hip as he ground his body into hers.

“I’m fighting for you.
Do
n’
t
go. I wo
n’
t let you turn your back on this. On
us.
” His mouth dragged down her throat as her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, so many needs rushing at her at once. “I’ll fight every day for the rest of my life if I have to. I don’t ever want to let you go, Scarlet.I ca
n’
t.”

Her chest tightened as more tears filled her eyes. She gripped his face and kissed him with every ounce of passion she possessed. His scent filled her, familiar and rich. “You can’t shut me out.”

“I won’t.” He closed his mouth over hers as warmth bloomed in her chest, chasing out the cold. “I’ll never shut you out again. I promise. It was the worst mistake of my life. No more secrets.”

No more secrets. Had there ever been more beautiful words. “What’s your middle name?”

“Michael.”

Her hand tugged at his clothes, needing to touch his skin. His lips dragged over her flesh as their breath mingled and her need transcended into a form of madness. She’d never wanted someone so much in her life.

“Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell you.”

She panted as he grazed her breast, nibbled her ear, so many erogenous zones and her panties were already soaked
.
“Asher…”

He stilled and slowly met her gaze. Her mouth quirked shyly, as his deep blue eyes studied her through his glasses. She bit her lip, wondering why he’d stopped.

“Say it again. Say my name again.”

“Asher.”

His cheeks flushed as his hand slowly slid into hers, their fingers lacing as his other hand glided over her shoulder to the back of her neck. “I’ve fantasized of this far too long,
”
he confessed as his mouth descended. She drew in a deep breath as he kissed her slowly, the passion building until her entire being trembled for more.

Her arms drifted to his shoulders, palms sliding over his thick shoulders and into his soft hair. His hips pressed to hers and she felt his desire full and heavy against her belly.

“Asher…
”
she couldn’t stop saying his name, savored the knowledge that she could finally do so. His mouth was madness, coaxing her body open like a flower under his touch. It was the most passionate kiss of her life. “I want you.”

His fingers pulled at her hair, mussing it as he ground his front into her. “We should wait,
”
he whispered as his hands gripped her ass.

“Are you crazy? I’m pretty sure we’ve both waited long enough.”

He pulled back and stared at her, eyes blinking through the lenses of his designer glasses. “True.”

She gasped as he suddenly lifted her in his arms like a knight rescuing his princess and carried her back through the grand entryway to the ballroom. Even now he made her feel like she was in a fairytale.

They reached the enormous bed in the corner of the empty room and he carefully lowered her. She’d been there before, with him. What an indescribable relief it all was to be there again, only this time was better because she could look in his eyes.

He leaned over her and stilled.

“What is it?
”
she asked.

His mouth curved slightly. “I love you, Scarlet.”