Blaze of Winter: A Loveswept Contemporary Romance (36 page)

Before the concert began, he took a long look around. He hadn’t been inside the church in years. In fact, the last time he was here was for his mom’s funeral, and before that, it had been for his dad’s. Though his mom had continued to attend services every Sunday, he and his brothers had just stopped going after his dad died. Maybe it was time to come back.

The interior of the church was simple and beautiful. There were long pews in the nave, a raised platform where the sanctuary began, and boughs of greenery on the pulpit. Five chairs had
been arranged in a semicircle on the platform, and a piano had been set up on the right-hand side of the semicircle.

There must have been a few hundred people packed into the tight space, and Theo was glad because it was mighty cold outside. With his big frame wedged into a corner of a pew, he’d be plenty warm by the time the concert was over.

CHAPTER 30

When Avery got to the classroom in the basement of the Episcopal Church, John, Karen, and Luke were already there. Smiling at them, she perched on a cozy-looking sofa on the far end of the room to unpack her instrument.

“You ready for tonight?” Karen asked, smoothing down the front of her concert dress.

Avery stood, hit her pitchfork on the heel of her shoe, listened for the tone, and used it to tune up her A-string. “Yes, I think so.”
I hope so
. Royce and Andy came in as she continued to tune her violin.

Luke came up to her. “Nervous?” he asked.

“A little,” she admitted, then laughed. “Okay, a lot. This is my first concert in a long time.”

“You’ll be fine. Just remember to breathe. We’ve all put in the practice time and this is a real friendly crowd.”

“I’ll try.”

“If that doesn’t work, you can always picture the crowd in their underwear.”

“Ew.”

Luke grinned. “Precisely. And Avery?” he said, his voice dropping. “You have my thanks.”

“I don’t know what for.” It was the truth. Like she’d told Babs, she hadn’t done anything.

“For just being you. Kate’s agreed to accept my suit.”

“Y-your suit?”

“For courting.”

“Oh.” She’d forgotten how old-fashioned Star Harbor could be. “Your
suit
. Gotcha.”

Luke took her hand and squeezed. “Thank you. I dropped so many hints, but she never caught on. If you hadn’t told Kate how much I liked her, I doubt she’d ever have noticed.”

Warmly, she smiled at him and gave him a brief hug. “I know you’ll make her happy,” she whispered.

He blushed red before clearing his throat and turning back to the group. “Okay, listen up, everyone. Keep the tempo of the Tchaikovsky brisk and even, just like we practiced. And those Christmas carols need to go on at a good clip. You all know what you need to do, so let’s get up there and play a great concert.”

Single file, they walked up the narrow staircase to the ground floor. When Luke gave the signal, John led the small processional off to the nave, where they’d set up their stands and chairs. Avery followed, trying to ignore the cheering from the large crowd. The turnout was huge—she hadn’t expected so many people to show up—but then again, this was a small town and the concert was considered the season’s major entertainment.

She’d played many concerts before, but somehow, none of them seemed as important as this one did. Kate was out there, and so were Emma and Jimmy. Sure, they’d heard her perform before, but playing in Star Harbor, where her family lived and worked, mattered. Maybe Theo was out there too, but thinking about that would be too distracting. The only thing she needed to focus on now was preparing herself to play.

Then Father Phillips came out in front of the sanctuary wearing a suit and the crowd grew quiet.

“Welcome, welcome to Star Harbor Episcopal for the holiday season,” he said with a smile. Accustomed to speaking in front of a large congregation, his words rang through the cavernous room. “On behalf of myself and the entire congregation, we wish you good tidings, season’s greetings, and of course, a merry Christmas.” Many people murmured “merry Christmas” back to the rector. He continued. “At this time of year, many of us find that our thoughts grow introspective as we search within ourselves to find the true meaning of the season.
And we all enjoy the familiar signs that the holiday season is upon us—decorations, traditions, and of course, music. We are fortunate tonight to have the Star Harbor Chamber Music Group join us for an evening of music and merriment. They will be performing several classical pieces tonight, as well as some of our favorite Christmas songs. So relax, enjoy, and on behalf of the church, thank you for your generous donations.”

When Father Phillips walked off the stage, someone dimmed the lights in the church. Everything around Avery went into soft focus as she carefully lifted her bow to start the first piece—the Chopin—and then they were off. Notes, rhythm, and color buzzed through her mind in an ecstatic whirr as the music surrounded her, coursed through her, and lifted her higher and higher. All thoughts of work, life, family, and love were forgotten as she became one with her violin.

Theo couldn’t take his eyes off of Avery. She looked gorgeous in her elegant, draped top and long black skirt. Her hair was pinned up, but it shone like the sun under the bright spotlight. Her playing was brilliant, and even though Theo knew she was an amateur, to him, she sounded like the concertmistress of the Boston Philharmonic. Classical music wasn’t even his thing, but she made it exciting. It was evident from the expression on her face that she was in some kind of zone, completely wrapped up in her playing. He tried to pay attention to the other musicians, but he kept being drawn back to her. By the time they moved on to the second piece, Theo had stopped pretending to watch anyone else.

For the next hour and a half she led the group through their program. The Christmas music was welcome. Though not as technically challenging as the classical stuff, he enjoyed hearing it. And she looked happier playing it.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to her after the concert. Only that he was going to try to make it as clear as possible that he loved her and he wasn’t going anywhere.

He loved her
. Amid the strains of the music wafting up to him in the last row of the balcony, everything else fell away. She was scared. He got that. But if she could figure out how to trust him unreservedly, regardless of how afraid she was, he’d be there for her. He needed to show her that.

After this concert was over, he’d find her and he’d make her understand exactly how he felt.

As if in an out-of-body experience, Avery was floating above herself, watching herself play. Watching the ensemble. She was a part of the group. A part of the music. And then before she knew it, the concert was over and she was standing up. The applause in the small church was deafening. She blinked, and she was suddenly back inside herself. She glanced over at Luke, who encouraged her to take an additional bow. She did, and when she raised her eyes again, she saw him on the balcony, all the way in the back. He was standing like all the rest, his eyes trained directly on her. Even from sixty feet away he could still see right through her.

She looked away and found Emma and Jimmy in the crowd. Jimmy let out a loud wolf whistle, completely inappropriate considering that they were in a church, but endearing all the same. Emma was clapping and smiling with abandon, and Kate was doing the same from her seat directly next to her.

Avery swelled with joy. No matter how confusing things in her life had become, no matter what issues she was dealing with, she had this. Her music. It wasn’t even the performance that had thrilled her, it was the wonderful group of which she had become a part. In these few short weeks, Luke, Karen, Royce, John, and Andy had become like family to her, brought
together by a common interest they all shared and loved. They looked out for her. They cared for her, and she for them.

After the applause died down, a few people left, but many came up to congratulate her. She got hugs from Babs and Julie, and flowers from Emma and Kate. Lots of folks she didn’t even know came up to tell her how well she had played. It was wonderful to hear how much they’d enjoyed the concert, but her adrenaline had begun to wane. Instead of flying high, she was rapidly becoming exhausted.

Tired of smiling, she whispered to Emma, “I’m going downstairs to pack up my instrument. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“All right,” Emma said. “We’ll be here waiting.”

The minute Avery was backstage and alone, she let her smile drop. Drained, she slowly made her way downstairs. After the bright spotlights that had been beaming down on her in the nave, the dim lighting in the basement was a balm to her senses. Even the chill, musty air was pleasant. Relaxing her tired eyes, she walked down the darkened corridor to the back room where they had prepared for the concert. The lights were on, but no one was there. She thought the rest of the group must still be upstairs, basking in the praise of their friends and family. The concert had been a huge success, and Avery was glad she’d been a part of it, but now she just wanted to rest.

Crossing the room to where she had left her violin case, Avery opened it and pulled out a soft cloth. She was about to wipe her violin down when she heard a gentle voice.

“Avery?” It was Theo.

Slowly, she turned to face him, her skirt swinging around her ankles as she moved. In the low-ceilinged room, he looked bigger than usual, but just as gorgeous as always. How he managed to look so put-together all the time was a mystery, especially because he didn’t seem to pay much attention to his appearance.

“What do you want, Theo?” Her voice came out sounding more tired than it did cross. And she
was
tired. Tired of fighting herself, of trying—and failing—to get things right.

“You.” The simple word reverberated in her skull.

“I’m sorry, what?” she said, blinking.

“You,” he repeated, taking a step toward her. “I want you, Avery. I told you that the first night we met. Except I didn’t know then how much I needed you.”

“Don’t,” she whispered. She couldn’t deal with this—with the heartache of loving and losing.

“I have to,” he insisted. “And you have to listen because this is important. Saturday night was the worst night of my life. I was hurt and angry that you didn’t trust me enough.” He shook his head. “But I know now that I need to earn your trust. I can’t just expect you to give it to me when I demand it.”

Avery swallowed hard and her eyelids flickered. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear, not by a long shot, and she was unprepared. “I—I don’t—I can’t—”

“I know,” he said, crossing the room until he was right in front of her. “I know you don’t and I know you can’t, but I’m not letting you go. I was wrong to push you away and I’m sorry. So sorry. Avery. I love you, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

She looked into the depths of his eyes, which were filled with love, compassion, and understanding. He loved her. He wanted to work to earn her trust. After how she’d acted, it was more than she deserved, and it humbled her. As if he understood, he gave her a half-smile and pushed up his glasses. But what if she couldn’t do it? “H-how do you know that I won’t end up hurting you?” she asked, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

He curled his hands around her shoulders. “I’m going to trust you the same way that you’re going to trust me.”

“I don’t trust myself,” she whispered, blinking furiously, trying to keep the tears from spilling.

“You will. We’re in this together now,” he said, touching his forehead to hers. “We’re going to make this work. Because I love you, and even though you might not be able to say it, I know you love me, too.”

“I—”

But before she could get a sentence out, he kissed her. When he finally pulled back, she was dizzy. “I don’t want to push you into anything. But I’m here. I’m staying in Star Harbor with you and I’m not leaving. You can tell me when you’re ready, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered, grateful that she didn’t have to formulate something intelligent to say.

“We’ll talk more later. I brought you something, but damned if I didn’t forget it upstairs. Guess I was focused on talking to you first,” he said with a little laugh. “Don’t go away. I’ll be back in a minute.”